Chapter Ten! Review!
Paul's POV
Bella fell asleep against me after I had volunteered to give her a back massage. I know it's not usually what I would do but after giving her my mark I wanted to do something for her so she knew I didn't mean it. And I thought that a back massage would do the trick.
I've gotten told before that I couldn't give a massage if my life depended on it but it seemed like Bella's opinion was the exact opposite. I memorized everything that I could in those few minutes before she fell asleep. Like how when I would get to the small of her back she would moan quietly. I can't say I didn't enjoy that, I knew I had gone back to that spot more times then I had needed to.
I leaned back against her wall while keeping Bella moderately still so she wouldn't wake up and I closed my eyes for a few seconds. I knew I hadn't marked Bella as mine yet but the fact that she still bore a mark from me had my wolf howling in ecstasy. The man in me didn't have the same story. I felt like a jerk for causing her more pain then she already had and I didn't know how I was going to live that down.
I was just about to doze off to Bella's even breathing when my cell phone started to ring.
"Damn it! Where'd I put that stupid thing!" I cursed, shifting through my two pockets on my jeans before I finally found it and quickly pressed the talk button. I looked down at Bella quickly and breathed a sigh. She was still fast asleep.
"What!" I knew that if there wasn't the chance that it would wake Bella I would be shouting this into the phone.
"Well Paul I'm sorry to inform you but I really need you to come over right now." Sam's annoying voice was tight and barely controlled over the speakers of the phone. I tensed immediately. This couldn't be good. I looked down at Bella and made up my mind though.
"Sam I can't. I'm sorry but I'm not leaving Bella by herself right now and I'm defiantly not leaving her with her father. It's just not gonna happen." I told him resolutely. I wasn't going to leave Bella for anything right now.
"I don't care if you have to bring her but you need to come over right now! The Makah pack have demanded a meeting at the treaty line and I'm not going to go there without my best fighters. You have fifteen minutes." With that, he hung up on me. I couldn't think of what to do. I wanted to go and kill every one of the Makah pack, I knew that but I don't think I would be able to. Sam would never let me.
I looked down at the girl in my arms and started to shake. No matter what we did they were always going to be a threat hanging over our heads. A string of growls made their way out of my throat and I knew I had to get away from Bella fast as my temper grew.
I set her down as gently as I could on her bed and got up to walk out the door. I knew I would be back in a matter of minutes-if that. The words from Sam were digging their way underneath my skin so much as I had to cool off.
I was almost to the door when a small voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Paul?" Bella's voice was scared and whispered. I heard it clearly though.
I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at her, still shaking and growling as much as I tried to suppress it. I watched as she lifted her hand to motion me over. I closed my eyes and backed up. I didn't feel in control.
I heard some scuffling around so I opened my eyes again for a quick peek and when I saw Bella trying to reach for her crutch. I stared at her and growled. She didn't even flinch which is what I've been wanting all along. For her to trust me. But even though we were this far along, I wanted- no needed- her to be scared of me right now. I wasn't in control. I could hurt her. She had to know that, she's been around enough supernatural to know that at least!
"Bella, don't." I hissed, trying to get her to listen to me, to get into her head that I was dangerous right now.
"You don't own me Paul. Either you come to me or I'll come to you." I looked her in the eyes to see if she was bluffing. When I saw that she was being serious I narrowed my eyes. Why did she have to make this so difficult.
"Well too bad, you won't get either." I sneered, turning my back on her for a second so I could advance a step. "Cause I'm going to cool off for a few minutes. I'll be back soon and you need to be ready to go to Emily's."
I had my back turned for all of two seconds and in those seconds she had the idea to hurl herself at me. Even with my werewolf senses I didn't have enough time to catch her before she landed on her feet. For a second I forgot about everything and turned back to Bella, scooping her into my arms and making sure she hadn't hurt herself even more with her circus act.
I was looking down her body, checking for any injures when I saw Bella's hand come up and slap my cheek. I couldn't move, I didn't think Bella would do that.
"You ass! What makes you think that you can tell me what to do! I was just going to help. Something I should be able to do since I'm your imprint! See you're not even shaking anymore, thanks to me." She sounded smug and mad at the same time. I didn't think that was possible before Bella. I couldn't say that her words didn't make my blood boil though.
"What the hell Bella! Did you seriously just slap me, and what do you mean I'm telling you what to do! You can do whatever you want to! Damn it Bella you can be so needy sometimes! Let's just go to Emily's." I didn't even acknowledge the gasp that passed through Bella's lips. All I was focusing on was the fact that the threat to my imprint was putting her in immediate danger and I didn't know how to deal with that. I don't think I want to anyway. I wasn't that guy. I was Paul Meraz- the werewolf with a very bad temper. And it shouldn't be any other way.
I wanted apologize right after I said the words that came out of my mouth nonetheless. I knew that what I said had been low, I just couldn't push my temper out of the way enough for me to do it.
"Fine Paul, if you feel that way why don't you go to Emily's alone. I'm not going anywhere with you right now." Bella voice rose up to me, hurt and angry. She jumped out of my arms before I could protest about her foot and she burrowed herself into the sheets on her bed.
I debated just following her instructions and going to Emily's but caught myself before I could take a step towards her window. It wasn't safe for Bella to be by herself. It wasn't safe for Bella to be anywhere then with me. I looked back at her, curled up in her bed and sobbing. It tore my heart out and I felt a rush of emotions. I didn't know if she would listen to me anymore. I knew I had to try though, I couldn't leave her like this.
My anger forgotten for the moment I strode over to kneel next to her bed, ready to start grovelling.
"Bella, babe I'm s-" I started but she cut me off, taken by surprise. Did she really think that I would leave her?
"Don't Paul. Just go, I'll call you in a few days, when I feel like I should forgive you." Was her curt reply to my attempt at apologizing. I growled low enough so she couldn't hear but it managed to catch her attention with how it shook her bed. "Shut up and go." She demanded.
I sat there shocked. It felt like my body was making me walk away, I knew this was the imprint. An order from an imprint could make a wolf do anything when she was serious enough. I also knew Bella had no idea about this particular fact and that she would beat herself up about doing it after. I fought with the order, trying to make myself speak but they only came out as whimpers.
It was a few seconds after that Bella raised her head and looked me in the eyes. I could see the fresh tear tracks running down her cheeks and felt horrible. I had put those there.
"Please…" I managed to get out, looking down, not being able to keep the weight of her gaze on mine any longer. She huffed out what sounded like an annoyed breath.
"Fine, you have about two seconds to explain why you think you should be forgiven or get out." She practically growled out at me. I breathed a sigh of relief being lifted from her previous order. They were just as powerful as the ones Sam gave us.
I looked up at her from my seat at the ground and rushed out my explanation. Shame washed through me as I told her everything that had went on in the last few hours and once I was done I was greeted with her eyes wide and full of fear. I growled and grabbed her hand.
"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. You have nothing to worry about. We will protect you no matter what and I can tell you that those monsters won't even get the chance to look at you again. You don't have to be afraid, everyone is willing to protect you Bella. Your ours. Mine, and we don't let go of pack members that easily." I said this to her, trying to broadcast that I was telling the truth and nothing would ever hurt her if I had any say in it.
She looked at me blankly for a few minutes before nodding her head slowly and moving her hands to cup my cheeks.
"I believe you Paul. I just want you to promise me that you- or anyone else- won't get hurt. That if you think for even one second that you won't win, you'll tell me. I'm the one who can make all this fighting stop. It's all because of me. I love you as much as you love me-" I was about to cut her off and say impossible but she silenced me with a look "-and the pack is my family now too. If I can save you or anybody else I will. I don't care what it will cost me but I have to be the one who protects someone else for once. I want to be superman for a change." She looked at me with a sad smile and I caught on that she didn't think we would win. And she was telling me that she would sacrifice herself before anyone else.
I growled suddenly, making her jump a little and with no hesitation, Bella pressed her lips onto mine, not stopping until I had stopped growling and shaking altogether. I looked at her intensely, almost being able to feel the air around me that grew with tension before I finally spoke.
"Nothing will happen. And I promise that you won't get far on that request of yours. I need you safe with me. I need that to function and if you think I'm just going to give you up to some wolves that almost killed you, you're going to have to think again. I don't want to see you hurt again and they will not touch you." I managed to get out.
She started to frown and I silenced it with a look. I knew by her face though that I wasn't getting the last word. I looked at her and held out my hand, standing up.
"Can we please go to Emily's house now. I don't want to keep Sam waiting any longer." I said softly, knowing if I said these words the wrong way I would be back to square one again.
She huffed but held up her arms, indicating that she wanted me to pick her up, not needing any words. I laughed and swooped her into my arms, twirling her around at first.
I looked at her with my best puppy dog face. "Am I forgiven?" I asked her.
"I'll get back to you on that." She said with a smile. I looked at her with a frown and when she giggled I knew she was kidding. I looked at her with fake hurt and walked towards her window, not meeting her eyes, playing with her. She obviously caught on better than I had and peeling tinkles of laughter erupted from her and I smiled. Everything would be alright.
After our playful moment it seemed as though the air around us gotten tense again. I was trying to think of something to say that would ease the fear hidden in her eyes but what could I say that I haven't already?
I just held out my hand for her to take. She took it without hesitating and smiled up at me, I smiled a small smile back. I tugged her towards the door after a few seconds and she followed, pressing into my side. I wrapped my arm around her and lead her to her red cab, ushering her into the passenger seat. She didn't fight me as I clicked the seatbelt across her and I was around and at the drivers side of the truck.
I closed the door and moved the hair out of Bella's eyes, relishing in how it felt when she leaned her cheek into the palm of my hand. After what could have been hours, I put the keys into the ignition and started the trip to Emily's house, keeping my hand in Bella's while keeping my senses on guard for me. I would not have anything happen to Bella if I could prevent it.
The car ride was silent and when we got to Emily's house and Bella didn't make a move to get out of the car I opened up her door and picked her up into my arms and carried her into the house where the pack was waiting for us to arrive. When we walked in the door we were bombarded by Emily and Kim, trying to get to Bella to see if she was okay.
Bella just curled into my chest even more and hid her face in my shirt. I sighed, how was I going to get away from her long enough to have this meeting? I went to the couch to go and sit Bella down if she wanted to stay there but when she held onto my shirt and whimpered I couldn't find it in myself to push her away yet and so I straightened myself and walked over to where the guys where all sitting near the table and discussing what we were going to be doing tonight.
"Well, I'm sure you know that they want to see us because for some reason they feel that they have the power to claim Bella." Growls chorused throughout the group. I did not want Bella to hear this.
"Are you sure you don't want to go and have a girl talk with Em and Kim?" I asked Bella, hoping she would surprise me and say yes. Of course the one time she doesn't surprise me though, is on this topic.
"No. I'm coming with you tonight too. I'm not being left here while you go and risk your lives. Not happening." Bella said confidently. I sighed. I knew this wouldn't be easy. I couldn't help but notice that the whole pack was quiet now. Even Emily and Kim had stopped their worried chattering to stop and stare at us.
"Babe, you know it's too dangerous for you to go. They won't get another chance to even look at you as far as I can help it." I growled out, looking down at the floor. I still felt ashamed of leaving Bella helpless so she go taken from me in the first place.
The next thing I knew I felt a quick but sharp pain on my chest. I looked to her in wonder, nothing had yet to hurt me in my new body when I came to see Bella's hand being cradled to her chest and the glare she was giving me. I furrowed my brow, confused and went to take Bella's hand and check it when she pushed against my chest this time huffing when she couldn't remove my arms from holding her.
I released her, making sure she wasn't in pain when she stormed over to the couch and flung herself onto it, laying down so she was facing the pillows. I just stared at her -shocked. I looked at the guys for a hint but they all had blank expressions on their faces.
I walked over to the girl of my dreams and placed my hand on her cheek. She shook it off. I bet she had no idea how much that one simple motion hurt me. I sighed sadly. I always seem to screw something up didn't I?
"Babe, Bells I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt again and if we end up getting into a fight then you'll be in the crosshairs of it and I can't let that happen. You're my whole life now. If I ever lost you- I… I don't know what I'd do." I said, meaning every word I said and hoping she would know that.
"No Paul, I think you're just being selfish. I'm not going to be going anywhere with them and you know that!" She huffed, frustrated. I took some deep breaths and composed myself before I started to talk again. This time anger replaced my pleading tone and I knew that I could get through this if I just made her mad at me. She wouldn't want to come then.
"Yeah Bella? You want to know what? There are more of them then us as far as we know. They're bigger and I'm willing to bet they're stronger too. If they wanted to go through us to get to you and you were with us there would be no chance at us winning. Do you even know what you being gone did to me? Huh?" I snarled. She didn't answer me so I kept going.
"I'll tell you then. I couldn't think, I couldn't eat. They had to put me out cold just so I wouldn't go because the whole pack couldn't keep me down until the morning. It burned knowing that you weren't with me. That you could be hurt, scared, dead. I thought I was going to die. But you know what. I didn't want to live anyways. I can't live without you and I'll be damned if they get their hands on you again. I'm not putting you in that kind of danger. Do you understand?" I snarled yet again. This time, although she never said anything I could see her body shaking. I didn't get the reaction I wanted from her. I wanted her to be mad at me, not scared of me. I softened up at once, seeing her so frightened.
"Bells, I'm sorry I…" I couldn't think of anything to say to show that I was sorry. She shouldn't have had to hear that. I wanted to keep that from her, there was no point in scaring her with the details that what could have happened to me when she should be worrying about herself.
I felt an extreme amount of guilt flow through me and it seemed as though every one of my brothers had felt it too, it was so strong. I shouldn't have dumped that on her, she didn't need to worry. I was replacing all of my fears with anger and then snapping at her. My imprint.
I sat down facing her but not close enough to be touching her. I squeezed my eyes shut and put my head in my hands, feeling the urge to moan at all of the emotions that were flowing through me. I couldn't take it, I didn't know how to deal with it. Having to care for someone. It was overwhelming yet I wouldn't trade Bella for anything.
"I always seem to mess up don't I?" I whispered to no one in particular. It was just a statement. A fact that was well known by everyone. I didn't know what to do anymore.
She didn't say anything to me after that and I took that as an invitation to leave. I felt heartbreak and many other emotions. It felt like she was rejecting me. What I wanted to do was go and curl up in a ball in a corner and bawl my eyes out. I had spent too much time crying though. This girl that I had only known for a day had changed me in ways no one else could and it shouldn't have happened. So instead I blocked off all of my emotions, shoving behind a wall and only letting my anger seep through it.
I walked into the kitchen again, seeing all the pitying looks from my friends who were so much like my brothers and I couldn't take it.
"What are you looking at!" I saw red and I knew that I wasn't stable to be around. But did I care? No.
"Nothing bro, are you alright though?" I heard Jared's calm and amused voice through my rage and it managed to settle me down some. This was something that I was accustomed to even before my phase. Jared was always there for me.
I made myself settle down so we could get the meeting done with and figure out what we were going to do about the other wolf pack. Even if Bella didn't want me anymore, I would still protect her with everything I had.
"So, what are we going to do?" I asked Sam, looking directly into his eyes so he couldn't give some half asked answer. I knew he would do that if I gave him the chance.
"Quite frankly I'm not sure. I was talking to Billy about it and we can't technically do anything about it if they want to take you or Bella…" I cut him off with a snarl. There was no way in hell that they were getting their filthily hands on my Bella.
Sam held his hands up, with a grim expression on his face. I tried to quench the inferno raging on in my body and when he saw that I was as far as I was going to get he kept going.
"So we were going on about what we were going to do about it and…" He left his sentence hanging for a split second and a bright smile captured his face. "He told me to do whatever we could do but there was no way in hell that they are gonna get Charlie's baby girl."
I think I just fell in love with the old man. There were hoots and hollers from around the room coming from the pack. Bella was as much of the family as any of the other imprints now. She was mine.
"So when are we meeting these guys?" Embry asked no one in particular. I guess it was directed to Sam.
"In about half and hour or so. I don't want them to have a chance on sneaking up on us so we should probably head out now. And Paul." Sam looked over at me and motioned with his head that he wanted me to come walk with him. "Can we have a little bit of a chat. It'll only take a few seconds." I nodded my head and followed him outside.
"Paul, I don't think you should tell Bella anything that will be going on. She has far too much fear and stress on her plate as it is. I didn't think you would tell her this because if I knew I would have stopped you because well. It's Bella. That girl is as stubborn as they come." He looked off into the forest for a second with a gay ass smile on his face. "But I guess that's what makes her so right for you. You need someone like that. She's already changed you so much, I can tell you're happier." He stopped and I didn't think he was going to say anything else.
"Okay, let's head out." He yelled into the house and all of the wolves came filing out behind each other a second after, following each other into the forest and turning into their wolves.
Now I just had to go and tell Bella this.
Heyy guys, sorry it took me so long to update! Tell me how I did and make sure to REVIEW!
~Firefox Shai~