Okay, so I'm sorry if I've taken so long to update. Not only have I had college shit to deal with (insert shudder here), I've had some fanfaction work to deal with (the current title being Honor Among Theives; if you're interested in beta-ing THAT puppy, e-mail me), and I plan on starting another fanfiction (for a select few, and known only as "Project: Broken Bride"). But I give unto thee . . . CHAPTER 10.

And please . . . you guys love me. Review. Seriously, if I get at least four reviews for this chapter (or five more for the story in general), I'll update the next chapter in a matter of days (like, 2). PLEASE REVIEW.

Chapter 10: The Only Hope For Me Is You

Covered in all my friends, I still
Think of the guns they sell . . .
If there's a person I could be, I'd be another memory.
Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me.
And if we can find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own.
Face all the pain and take it on.
Because the only hope for me is you alone . . .
~My Chemical Romance

I did just as I planned: I managed to bum more paper and some envelopes from the front desk of the motel. No one was up there, so I just left the door key and left.

I didn't know where to go next. My mind was still running from the wonderful run-in with you-know-who, and the only thing on my mind was getting as far away from there as possible.

So I grab some gas and head out again. This time, I drove until I I hit some random city in South Dakota. I stopped at a small Comfort Inn, drop off my stuff, and got some Mickey D's. Food was always a good idea, especially when it was crunchy and full of good ol' MSG.

My cell phone kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing. I ignored it. I seriously did not want to deal with all that right now. I just focused on getting food. Food's good, yes? Yes. Of course.

But when I got back to the hotel and found my laptop basically yelling at me using beeps, I finally answered it. But of course, me being me, I was all curled up in some blankets and crap so I couldn't be seen that well.

"Jink?" Kate called. "You awake?"

"Mostly," I sighed. "What's shakin', bacon? Any news on our favorite six-legged friend?"

"No," Kate shook her head. "But that's not why I was calling. You're still taking your meds, right?"

"Yeeeeeeaaaahhh . . ." I drew out.

"You're not mixing it with other pills?"

"Nope."

"And you're not taking any beer with 'em, are you?"

"Jesus, Kate!" I exploded. "What the hell is wrong?"

Just as she was about to say something, another wonderful button started to blink at me: ABE SAPIEN CALLING.

God, really?

Kate pressed a button on her keyboard and now Abe appeared on my screen. "Hey, Abe," I waved hi.

"Hey, Jink, Kate," Abe gave a nod. "Everyone okay?"

"I'm fantastic," I sighed. "And Kate's giving me the third degree for some reason."

"Well, I'm just making sure you're fine, that's all," Kate said, exasperated. "This is the first time you've been on active duty in seven years, and with today being-" she cut herself off, looking at me worriedly.

"Today being . . . ." I trailed off, trying to get her to continue.

"Oh." Recognition flitted through Abe's face. "Roger."

My heart sunk. Yes. Oh. Shit, am I horrible or what?

"Dammit, Abe!" Kate shouted. "I wasn't trying to remind her!"

That's why Kate was calling; she wanted to make sure I hadn't tried to kill myself again. Well, it's wonderful that they care.

With a sigh, I disconnected myself from the computer chat and shut down the laptop. I pulled my legs to my chest, rested my chin on my knees, and wrapped my arms around my legs.

Roger . . .

I thought about him a lot when I was in school. I never told anyone about him; I kept his name in my head and heart the entire time. I tried to keep his name alive, and it was the utmost dishonor to forget the day he died.

I mean, if I died instead of him, he'd remember me. Wouldn't he?

Or would he? Would anyone remember me? Or would I just be another name volleyed around? "Oh, there used to be this girl Jink here, but then she got hit by a car or some shit like that."

They wouldn't remember me. It's not like I've done anything to benefit the BPRD at all. Seriously, I'm not Hellboy. No, I'm just me. Pitiful, depressed, schizophrenic me.

Someone knocked on my door, which I chose to ignore. But of course, this person wasn't having it. They opened the door and walked in.

I jolted from the bed and pulled out my gun, aiming it at the person.

It was a woman, arm raised and holding a cell phone. She was skinny, with glasses and light brown hair. Her badge said BPRD, and she wore a black long-sleeved shirt, cargo pants, and combat boots.

"Uh . . . hi?" she waved a little.

"Who the fuck are you?" I demanded. "And how the hell did you get in?"

"Your door was unlocked," she shrugged. "I'm Marie Jay. Corrigan sent me to make sure you're okay and you're doin' your job and stuff like that."

I pushed past her and to the door. "I thought I locked this damn thing," I muttered. I jiggled the door knob, and to my surprise it was unlocked. I locked it angrily and whirled back around. "Look, kid, I don't need help, and I don't need people following me around," I seethed, pushing past her again. I grabbed my cell phone and started dialing.

"Don't you?" she replied rhetorically. "Don't you wish you had someone to talk to? Someone to talk things out with?"

I paused in my dialing. Maybe . . . I shook my head. "I work better alone."

"But-"

I shoved her down and onto the bed and glared at her. "Lemme see your badge," I ordered. This was getting too creepy (and too convieniant) for my taste.

She pulled it off of her shirt and handed it to me. Since I was one of those "special" agents, mine looked different, but I could still compare the watermark . . . which was totally legit.

"How long you been working for the Bureau?" I asked.

"Almost two years," she shot.

"And why would Kate send you after me?" I demanded hotly. "I've never met you, and there are dozens more like you, only more expir-"

"Fine," she snapped, cutting me off. "I can leave. But when I do, I'm calling Corrigan and telling her I knocked on your door and you didn't answer." She put a hand to her ear. "Wait a second, was that a gun shot I heard? Or was it the clank of a beer bottle and the rattle of a pill fob?"

Oooh, she's sarcastic and trying to blackmail me. That's a killer combination. I liked it.

I grinned crookedly. "Fine. You can help me. But I'm not here to cover your ass, kid. You get hurt, I'm ditchin' you, understand?"

"Aye-aye, Cap'n," she rolled her eyes and gave me a mock salute.

"Don't call me that," I ordered quietly.

She leaned back on the bedspread, and I took a seat in the room's armchair. This was so weird. Why would Kate send someone after me? I mean, she knows I wouldn't try to off myself a second time. Seriously, that was all behind me now. I could handle myself, dammit!

"Y'know, I don't know why she sent me," Marie shrugged. "Perhaps it's because I was the only free agent. There's been a lot of mystery shit goin' on down at the Bureau."

I shook my head in a weird combo of confusion and defeat. "Whatever."