A/N: Here we are with the next chapter! We will show Yukiko and Yusaku's thoughts on their son suddenly acting smarter and how his behavior changed a little bit and how they were not stupid. If anything, the Kudos are some of the most brilliant parents in the world.

Sorry guys, I've been a little inactive thanks to some bs that sprang up on another website. Let's just say bullies aren't as clever as they think they are. I'm grateful that this fandom is so loving and kind. They accept whatever crazy, insane bs I throw their way. Thanks for always being there, guys. You who read and don't review but alert, I see you. You who read and review and also alert and favorite, I see you, too. You who alert and fave and don't review, I see you as well.

You guys help me make it through things like my depression. Thank you for being there over the past 9 years I've been here. I wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for you guys. Thank you.

Now, onto the chapter. Some flashbacks, some snark, like usual.

Chapter 10 The Snark of The Teenage Detective (or in other words, you're not as clever as you think you are, Shinichi); and Parent Trapped, Part 1!

Parents aren't stupid.

Let me tell you that again, parents are not stupid.

They know you better than you know yourself. Unfortunately for me, Okaasan and Otousan noticed early on that I was not an ordinary child, although they weren't surprised, considering that they were good parents and very, very sharp, and very strange parents.

So, since I was an adult trapped in the body of a child, (I just had to use that pun, considering who I was!) some of my behavior inevitably struck them as strange and not child-like. Which made me think I could sneak anything past good ol Kaasan-in the show, she's such a ditz!

But darn, she was a lot smarter than I gave her credit for.

For example, one time I thought I could get away with staying up late and watching an R-rated movie. It didn't occur to me that Mother could, and would, be aware of me staying up late. Regardless of my adult mind, I did get found out and dragged back to bed.

"But, Kaasan! I wanted to watch that!" I complained.

"Shin-chan, you aren't supposed to be up this late!" Yukiko cried, glancing at the clock before dragging me upstairs.

The absolute best part, though, is when I showed myself to be precocious by asking questions about fun subjects like sex. Oh, how great it is to look like a genius child.

"So, Kaasan, what's sex?" I said, when I was about eight.

Kaasan practically choked on her food. "Did you tell him about that, Yusaku?"

"No. Perhaps he read about it in one of my books." He said, "It's a part of life!"

"He's too young to read about that!"

Thus started a loving quarrel between the two before Yukiko told me I wasn't to read such things again. Never piss off Yukiko Kudo if you can help it.

Even if you're her kid, she will not have mercy on you.

The one fun thing, though, was being able to help Ran secretly through the trials of womanhood. I had been there once, I understood what it was like to experience cramps. I knew what periods felt like.

"Sensei, I need to use the bathroom!"

Ran sure had been using the bathroom a lot today.

My eyes widened.

Oh no, was it that time again?

Oh man.

Ran came back, looking irritated and agitated.

What, was it heavy or something-oh, crap, I knew that face. It was the Ran's gonna kill someone face. She must be frustrated about something. Then it hit me.

What if she forgot to bring-

Oh, dear god. The humiliation of that-I can clearly remember.

No one quite forgets when you go to school with blood on your clothes. At least, the kids at my school didn't let me forget. That was the day I chose to wear white pants, a big mistake, then.

Turning, I searched in my bag-and found it. I'd specifically asked Okaasan about what happened to females during puberty and she'd snickered before giving me the box, thinking I would laugh or get embarrassed about it. Imagine how surprised she was upon seeing me just casually accept it.

Now, she was far enough away from her desk, I could just sneak it and give it to her-bingo.

I did it successfully and crept back to my desk, a KID-like grin etched on my face as I sat there, pretending I hadn't moved a muscle, while secretly watching Ran out of the corner of my eye.

She sat back down, and suddenly her hand brushed up against something. Curiously, she poked her head into her desk, and her face went beet red, but still, she was smiling widely as she took the box and threw it into her purse and ran out the door.

Cue the conversation I heard at lunchtime, pretending to have my head buried in a mystery novel.

"Sonoko-chan, thanks for giving me this! I really needed them earlier!"

"Huh? What are you talking about? I didn't give you those." Sonoko said, shooting a glance at me for some reason. I felt like she could read minds.

"Well, if you didn't, then who did?" Ran didn't even look in my direction. She probably thought I was the ignorant guy who didn't even notice when she had issues.

Yeah, right.

"Shinichi, did you put that in my desk?" She asked.

Oh shit, I was caught.

"Okaasan asked me to give you them. I don't know what they're for, but I did as she asked. It's some girl thing, right?" I said, acting all cool and cocky like always.

"Oh, that makes sense. Of course she would understand! Not like you would understand, Shinichi!" She laughed, "Must've been embarrassing for you, huh? To have to drag something girly to school!"

"Not really." I said.

I guess another thing that always baffled her was how I never looked up her skirt when the wind blew. I'd had guys do that to me in the past. They got a good kick in the face and then Kimmy was sent to the principal's office for the fifteenth time that week, where I tried to argue that kicking the guy in the face was the right punishment for him being a perv. That argument did not work and instead I was given more detention.

The next time around, the same guy tried to bug me, so instead I kicked him in the nuts. That made him stop for good.

But after having this body, I think I can safely say I no longer feel proud about kicking him there. It fucking hurts to be hit there.

"Oi, Kudo!"

A child's voice.

Who could that be?

"Kudo, get your head out of fantasy land and wake the hell up already! There's an Ellery Queen movie on, ya can't miss it!"

Oh boy, what exciting stuff.

"Hattori..." I grumbled, "Stop. I need sleep after that murder case last night. It kept us up until 2 am."

"And the entire time, that Megure guy was goin', you shouldn't bring kids with you, Kudo! Who the hell does he think he is? I ain't no kid!"

Ah, yes, Hattori was on one of his frequent rants about being seen as a kid. These happened quite often, and it irritated him very much. There wasn't much Hattori didn't get irritated at.

"Hattori, the whole world sees you differently now." I said, through a yawn. "And I've heard this ten thousand times, can I please go back to sleep?"

"Hey, Kudo, how old were ya when ya first had a body drop dead around you?"

That earned him a pelt from a soccer ball.

"Too young."

"Where was the body?"

He really needed some help, to be this excited about death.

"In the bathroom. I went to go open the door to the stall, and this dead guy comes falling out. Needless to say, I wasn't pleased."

I quickly discovered that the Kudo curse fucking sucked.

At first, Kaasan and Tousan just thought it was a coincidence, but after people dropped dead at the museum, at my own school, at the library, they quickly figured out somehow, I attracted death without meaning to.

Perhaps death was mad that I had gotten another chance at life? Angry that I hadn't completely died in that car crash?

It was probably just a fluke that I'd wound up here as Shinichi. Logic trumps reason, but when you've been dead once and suddenly you're alive again, suddenly logic seems a bit weird.

"That sounds totally cool!" Hattori yelped, cutting through my inner ramblings and annoying me yet again.

"It sucked, baarou. Haven't we watched this Ellery Queen movie already?"

"No, we didn't!"

"It's the exact same one as the one we watched last week." I grumbled. Why didn't the Detective Boys stop by more often to take him off my hands?

Why did I say that?

Right now, I was the only companion he had (besides Kazuha) who understood what had happened to him, and who knew he wasn't actually a kid. Ran babied the hell out of him, Agasa didn't really know him, Haibara creeped him out (for now, they seemed to be getting along better, though she preferred to annoy me most of all), and KID irritated him (that bit, I was proud of, I've raised him well.)

I rubbed my temples before sitting up.

"It isn't the same one, Kudo."

"Hattori, let's go out somewhere. I'm tired of sitting in here." I said in annoyance. Why else do you think I hung around with Ran so much? The house can be really painful and empty sometimes.

It reminds me that Kudo Shinichi is a social outcast who needs more friends. Books do not equal friends.

It wasn't like anything new was happening-aw, shit. My eyes widened.

It was...oh, geez, they were coming.

My parents were coming back. No wonder I felt agitated and wanted to get away.

I knew I wouldn't be able to, and that Ran would insist on coming with me to meet them.

Mom would be all over me like always, but probably more on Haise. She often spoke of wanting to meet him a lot. Hattori reacted to that the way you'd expect: he was scared.

Dad would be his usual distant self.

"Hattori, you do remember who's coming, right?"

"Who?" He asked.

"My parents."

His face turned pale.

"So basically, you need to act like a child. They're not that stupid, they pick up on things, trust me. They can tell who's a real child and who isn't."

"You sound like you've had experience." Hattori said.

"Trust me, when you're pretty intelligent as a kid, your parents tend to be a bit weird." I said. 'Oi, oi, it's not like I didn't think they didn't know. There were so many close calls.'

Like that time I'd casually brought up sex or mentioned alcohol, which drew me odd stares from my parents as they demanded to know where I'd heard about such things. After all, what kind of nine year old mentions wanting to drink beer?

I admit, I was a drinker in the past. Now, though, I avoided it.

"Mine are weird, too." He muttered. "Hey, Kudo, I've been wonderin' about somethin'. How is it you've been so cool this whole time about me turning into a kid? Ya never seem surprised by it or anythin'."

Oh shit.

"Because I saw you shrink and I carried you as it happened." I said, my default defense to this accusation.

He blinked. "Oh."

"Well, I'm glad Ran's not here to see us talk like this, eh, Hattori-"

The door opened, and Ran stepped in.

"Shinichi, did you say Hattori?"

Kazuha stood behind her, very pale.

"He means Haise-kun!"

Ran turned to look from Kazuha to Hattori (who was very pale) and to me.

"Shinichi, you can't fool me any longer. I know what it is you've been hiding this whole time."

Oh shit, this did not sound good. Not at all.

"Ran, he's just a kid." I said.

"I heard you call him Hattori!" She said accusingly. "And Kazuha-chan keeps calling him that, too!"

Kazuha winced. "I-I called him that by coincidence!"

"Ran, you don't honestly believe a teenager can be a little kid, right? We've been over this, it's absurd." I said, shaking slightly.

"Shinichi, I've seen the way you talk to him, like he's an adult. I'm not fooled. Why don't you speak for yourself, Haise..or should I say, Hattori Heiji?" She said sharply.

Heiji was speechless. "I'm just a kid!" He chirped. His acting skills have improved.

"Yeah, don't gang up on an innocent kid!" Kazuha said.

"I'm sure he's your friend and you're covering up for him!" Ran said to Kazuha. "Why else would you come from Osaka to here?"

"Because I liked the area!" She said.

Heiji did something I didn't expect, he started fake crying, which immediately threw Ran for a loop.

It was the worst acting I'd ever heard, but it fooled Ran.

"See, he is just a child!" Kazuha cried. "Would a teenager cry like that?"

Yes.

She glanced back over at me and I wore the disapproving face.

"He is just a kid, Ran. He just so happens to be related to him. Your yelling scared him."

"I'm sorry, Haise. I know you're a good kid." She said, hugging Hattori.

As she left, she turned to face me. "Shinichi, I'll be by to say hi to your parents!"

"Boobs..." Hattori whispered.

"Heiji!" Kazuha hissed.

"Sorry...it's a natural instinct."

Heiji now had a goose egg on his head.

"Kazuha, you didn't have to condescend to me."

"She's gonna find out sooner or later." Kazuha said, "We're not really acting well."

"That's for sure." I muttered.

"Kudo-kun, I wish Heiji was as good at acting as ya are. He stinks at it. Your crying was so fake a five year old would think it was fake."

"Oh yeah, well, what about the look on yer face, Zuha? It didn't look real, either!"

The arguing started again.

I put my hands over my ears.

But this was home, I guessed, and it was better to hear a noisy house than none at all.