You would not believe what happened.

So I had the second ending saved on my flash drive, and I lost it! It was so long and I lost it all! I've looked everywhere and I can't find it. New technology is great and horrible. Luckily, I saved this ending onto my laptop so here it is. This is the sad ending, but the more realistic one. If I ever find my flash drive, I'll post the other one up too.

"Well, if it isn't Mikayla Sanders. How have you been?" I haven't seen her in about four years; I avoided any contact with her and it worked- until today. She gained weight from the last time I saw her, and her hair is lighter, but other than that she looks the same.

"It's nice to see you, Sirius. I've been as good as anyone can be with this war going on," she sighs.

"I know what you mean, these are hard times."

"It's not all bad though. I've been married to Michael for a year and I'm pregnant!"

That would explain the weight. "Congratulations. That's great, really, that is." And it's true, it just makes me wonder if I'll ever have a child, or even a wife. Seeing Mikayla again reminds me of her, and all the things I gave up for this war.

"Thanks. But how about you? How's life treating you?"

"It's okay. I'm just busy, and then there's this war, like you said."

"Hmmm."

We stand in silence for a few seconds, not knowing what to talk about. I look around trying to find anything to say. I notice an envelope in Mikayla's hand. "You're going to the post office?"

"Oh, yes. I need to owl this letter . . ." she pauses, as if thinking about something, and then seems to make up her mind. "It's for Jade . . . Jade Anderson."

Jade Anderson. The very person I was trying not to think about. That girl was something special; I can't believe it took me so long to realize it. I was only with her for a few months . . . I wish I had had more time with her.

"Maybe I shouldn't have brought her up," Mikayla says, though she doesn't look very remorseful.

"No, don't worry about it. Wow, Jade Anderson, do you talk to her?"

"No, we- we just write occasionally."

"Where is she now? How is she doing? What happened after all?" Now that she brought it up, I might as well find out how she is. Just to make sure that she's okay . . . or that's what I tell myself.

"Er, well, technically her name is now Jade Matson. She married Philip Matson, you remember him right?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course I do. So she married him? How is that going?"

"Well, they live in Italy and she has a baby girl."

"Hmm, I'm glad to hear it." I'm still a little shocked, but I'm glad she's happy, and safe. Matson apparently gave her the life I couldn't.

Mikayla bites her lip. "The thing is, she isn't happy, Sirius. Philip is never around, she stays home all day, and I think she's very depressed."

I don't believe it. She's supposed to be having the time of her life. She's supposed to be happily married and have children, and . . . well, be happy. I didn't leave her so she could be miserable. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I hate seeing her like this Sirius! I've told her to leave him, or at least to have them all move back here, but she refuses. I don't know what else to do. I hate that she's miserable."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"You know perfectly well that she was happy with you."

"Life isn't that simple, Mikayla. I can't very well march up to her house, curse Matson into oblivion, and make her happy."

"Sure you can, minus the cursing him into oblivion part."

"I won't take the child away from Philip."

"He doesn't care about either of them!"

"I can't be with her, Mikayla. You know that. That's why I ended it in the first place."

"Why not? Why can't you be with her?"

"I have things to do here, things I can't do with a family."

"The Order?"

"Yes."

"James and Lily are doing it with a family!"

"And look where they are now. Forced to go into hiding! She's better off wherever she is now."

"Sirius, please. At least visit her. Talk to her. She needs you."

"I can't, please understand that Mikayla. I left her for a reason."

"At least consider it, please. Here's her address, just in case."

She scribbles something on a slip of paper and hands it to me. I think about throwing it away, but for some reason I put it inside my pocket instead.

OoOoO

I don't know what possessed me to come to this decision. I mean, it was only yesterday that I saw Mikayla. But I have to see her. Just to make sure she's okay, nothing more. The last time I saw her, she hated me, I need to know that she understands now, and maybe I can help her somehow so she won't be miserable.

Or maybe I just want to see her because of this aching hole in my chest that hasn't quite gone away since I last saw her. Either way, I'm standing in front of her house right now, wondering if I should knock or leave. It vaguely reminds me of that day.

I force myself to knock on the door and stay put rather than run away which seems like a nice alternative right about now. I mean, really, what am I doing here? I shouldn't be here. This is only going to weaken my resolve, and I can't afford for that to happen. I need to be alone for this. I'm not James. I can't do this with a family.

Before I can leave, Jade opens the door. She looks as beautiful as ever. Age hasn't diminished her beauty; it has given her elegance. Her arms fall to her side and she simply stands there, staring at me as though she doesn't believe what she's seeing.

"Hi Jade, I hope you remember me," I say, even though I know she would never forget me.

"Sirius Black," she whispers. "I thought I would never see you again."

"Well, here I am," I whisper hoarsely. Seeing her again is harder than I thought it would be. A flood of memories fills my mind, and it takes all of my self-control not to stride up to her, take her face in my hands, and kiss her.

We stand in silence, drinking each other in until she finally speaks. "I'm sorry, I've been terribly rude. Come in."

I follow her inside and into the living room where we take a seat across from each other. I can't keep my eyes off of her, and from the way she's looking at me, I'd bet she feels the same way.

We sit in silence. Silence, again. Why is it that nothing comes out when there is so much to say? There are a million things I want to ask, but I don't know where to begin. "I saw Mikayla," I finally say.

She looks surprised. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Is that how you found out where I live?"

"Yes . . . Jade, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I-"

"Please don't lie to me Jade. Tell me how you're really doing."

Her face falls. "What did she tell you?"

"That you married Philip and you have a daughter," I partly lie.

"I'm fine Sirius. Let's just catch up. How have you been?"

I let it slide, for now. "Busy, but tell me, why did you marry him?"

She looks up to the ceiling and blinks a few times. I can see that she's close to tears. "Because he wanted me."

I long to go to her and hold her, let her know that I did want her, that I still want her, but I force myself to stay seated across from her. "Jade, I didn't leave you because I didn't want you. You know I had to."

"I've had a lot of time to think about it," she says, trying to control her voice, "and I understand why you did it . . . It doesn't change the fact that you left me though."

"Can you forgive me?"

"I already have," she says, wiping her eyes.

The sound of a crying baby reaches us. "Excuse me, I'll be right back."

Jade rushes out into the hallway and through a door, and the crying stops instantly. She returns after a minute with a baby in her arms. "This is my daughter, Abby."

The girl has Jade's brown hair and green-blue eyes. Her skin is a little lighter, and her facial features aren't the same as her mother's, but she's still cute. "How old is she?"

"Eleven months and twenty-seven days. Her birthday is next week." The glow emanating from her shows me how much she loves the baby.

"That's great." There's still so much I want to know, but I don't know how to ask.

"It is."

"Did you know that James and Lily have a son? His name is Harry and he turned one in July," I blurt out.

"Really? That's wonderful! I didn't even know they were married!"

"You didn't? Hasn't Mikayla been keeping you updated?"

She looks down. "Er, no. I asked her not to. I didn't want to know anything about the life I left."

Here's my chance. "Why did you leave? Why did you move over here?"

She looks down at Abby who is asleep again. "You wanted me to be safe," she whispers. "Leaving was my best option. Philip is a muggle and I didn't want to have to try to keep us both alive so I asked him if we could move here after we married and he obliged."

"Why Italy?"

"Oh, I don't know. He chose it. I just wanted to leave the country," she sighs as she puts Abby down in a cradle-thing by the sofa. I don't think I'll ever learn all the names for baby stuff. I probably will never need to if this war carries on.

"Where is he now?"

"At work, I think. He doesn't spend much time here." She takes a seat again and puts a lock of hair behind her ear. I can tell she's avoiding my eyes.

"Why not? Doesn't he want to see you and Abby?"

"Not particularly. He did, at first. Then he found out that I'm a witch."

It pleases me that she's still open with me, but it's unbelievable that she hid that from her . . . husband. "You hadn't told him?"

"No, and I wasn't planning to either. The only reason he found out is because Abby is starting to show signs of magic."

"But you're his wife and that's his daughter. Does that mean nothing to him?"

She's crying by now. "I guess not. He was a good man, honestly. He was kind, and caring, and charming even after we married. We had Abby, and still everything was fine. He loved us. . . . but then he found out that I'm a witch. We don't even sleep together. He has a room on the other side of the house and he won't come near Abby."

I run a frustrated hand through my hair. "Jade, I let you go so you could be happy. It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"I would have been happy with you, Sirius. You took away my one chance for absolute bliss when you left, yet you expected me to go on. It was foolish."

"I still can't be with you. You'd be in terrible danger, and I would be around less than Philip would be. I'm not good for you," I tell her. It breaks my heart to say that, but it's the truth.

"Then why did you come?"

I pause. Why did I come? "I couldn't stay away." And the honesty in that nearly kills me. I couldn't stay away from her. I love her and I don't' want to lose her, again. But what choice do I have?

She sighs. "It doesn't matter now anyway, there's nothing I will do about it. I'm staying here whether I like it or not." She pauses, and tears start flowing out again. "I can bear this life, really, I can. I can live like this without too much of a problem. What I can't bear is giving this life to Abby. She deserves more than a father who dislikes her without even knowing her."

I make up my mind in an instant. "You deserve more too Jade, and I'll come back for you as soon as I can."

She shakes her head sadly, tears falling freely. "No, you can't. Philip may not be the best husband or father, but he provides for us. We're safe here. We have every material thing we could ever want . . . I won't leave him. He'll come around. I think he's just . . . hurt by how I kept this from him. Maybe one day I'll have the happy life you wanted for me, but I can't take Abby away from him. She's his flesh and blood."

I'll admit that the rejection hurts. I suppose I expected her to run into my arms and accept my offer. "You don't love him."

"Yes, and no. I don't love him the way I love you. I don't think I'll ever love anyone like that, but I do care for him. I do want what is best for him, and I would never do anything to hurt him. I've always said that people can learn to love anyone. It won't always be a passionate love, but it is love nonetheless. I don't get butterflies in my stomach when he kisses me, or even when he's around me, like I do with you, but I still love him enough to be faithful."

"You'll never be as happy as you could be with me." I know I'm pushing it, but I need to understand what would bring her to choose him over me.

"And I'm okay with that. You see Sirius, if life were a fairy tale, then I would leave Philip and run into your arms and we would live happily ever after- but it isn't. This is real. I committed to this marriage and I intend to keep my wedding vows. It hurts me to have to choose Philip because I love you more than you can imagine, but I love him too. Am I making any sense? I know I'm repeating myself, but I don't know how to explain it."

"You make perfect sense, and I understand."

"You're hurt."

"I won't lie, I am, but I'll be fine Jade. This is what I wanted for you after all."

"Yes, it is."

"Can we still be friends?" A desperate man's last hope. How pathetic I've become.

She bites her lip. "I don't think that would be wise. I still love you Sirius, and to keep in touch with you would make my decision to stay impossible."

"So this is it then? After I leave, I won't hear from you anymore?" I can practically hear my heart breaking.

She's crying again. "No, this is it."

"Don't cry, it's fine. You have everything you ever wanted Jade, please be happy."

"Sirius, can't you see that I wanted you? But it's simply too late now, you're four years too late," she sobs.

What do I say to that? I explained to her why I chose this path. Besides, aren't I the one suffering more than she is? She has a family, she has a man she loves, and what do I have? Nothing.

I try to picture life with her had I chosen another way, and it looks wonderful. I would be the one coming home to her, that would be my daughter sleeping, this would be our house. I could have walked away from the war and left my friends to fight it- but I didn't, because that isn't me. I know where I'm needed, and I was willing to give up my happiness for that cause. It isn't like I could have lived with myself had I abandoned everyone anyway.

I only had four choices, really. Run away from the war and take Jade with me, stay in the country and fight alongside one another, send her away and ask her to wait for me, or give her up so she could be safe and happy while I did what I had to do as a man. And of those three choices, the only one I could live with was the last.

So this is it. This is the way it had to be, because I would never run away from a fight, and she would never participate in it. Would she have fought alongside me? I have no doubt about it, but she would have been terrible. She's too gentle, too fragile. She isn't like Lily, or Alice. It isn't a bad thing, she's just different. Would she have waited for me? Again, no doubt about it, but I wouldn't let her. After all, who knows if I'll make it out alive? Who knows how long it will take?

Do I blame her for moving on? No, after all, that's what I wanted her to do, but it hurts. I suppose part of me was hoping that she would disregard everything I said, that she would wait for me regardless of the years that passed- but that isn't her. The thing with Jade is that she gives up easily. No is no to her, and she never insists, never pushes for what she wants. I told her I wouldn't let her fight, and she didn't push it. I told her I couldn't be with her, and she accepted it after a little arguing. Maybe I would have changed my mind had she come after me, had she insisted that she could handle the war, that she wasn't willing to give me up, but that isn't her. And so this is the end.

"I always thought you were too noble, too loyal, for your own good. You gave up our happiness to save other peoples' lives. I wish I could say I would be as selfless as you've been, but I'm not. I suppose that's why I was in Ravenclaw and not Gryffindor."

"Hmm." I want to say more but I don't trust my voice right now.

"It's a shame that it had to be this way."

"Yes, but there was no other way, and it's not enough to say I'm sorry for all of this, but I am."

"Don't apologize Sirius, you did what was best for everyone . . ."

Everyone but me. "I didn't lie when I said I would always love you Jade. Always."

"I love you too Sirius, and that's why I can't see you anymore." I stand as she walks over to me. She throws her arms around me and cries freely.

I don't cry because I can't breathe. This crushing pain is almost paralyzing. Knowing that this is the last time I will see her nearly kills me.

Death Eaters are nothing compared to this.

After a long while, she pulls away, eyes dry. "I guess this is goodbye," I say hoarsely.

"Yes," she whispers, holding back more tears. If I weren't so devastated, I would take time to wonder how she can cry so much. Wouldn't she dehydrate?

"I should get going. I hope everything works out for you."

"Thank you. Sirius, please be safe. I know you, don't do anything reckless."

"Jade, don't worry about me. Promise you'll forget all about me."

"Impossible. I've worried about you everyday since I left. So promise me you won't be reckless."

"This is a reckless war."

She shakes her head sadly, giving up as always. "Okay then. Bye Sirius Black."

"Bye Jade Anderson." For some reason, I can't call her 'Jade Matson'. She's always been Jade Anderson to me, and the only other acceptable name is Jade Black, but that won't ever happen. So it's Jade Anderson then.

OoOoO

I get back a day later and decide to pay Worm a visit to make sure he's okay and take my mind off of things and all. It's the oddest thing when I reach his house. He's gone, and there's no sign of a struggle or anything, but something feels off. I don't know why I'm so on edge, but I don't like this. I jump on my motorbike and head to Prongs' place.

It's a disaster. There's a hole blasted into the roof of the house where Harry's bedroom is. Some lights downstairs are on, but other than that, it's dark. My headlights illuminate the front lawn, and I see Hagrid coming out with a bundle in his hands.

I can't help but still hope that I'm wrong about my suspicions, but seeing Hagrid bawling like that isn't helping my denial. "Hagrid-"

As he nears, I see his face is pale. "They're gone," he says. "James 'n Lily, gone."

I stagger backwards and steady myself against my motorbike. "A-are you sure?"

He nods, and puts an arm on my shoulder.

I don't believe it. Wormtail would never do that to us. Maybe they have him and somehow forced it out of him. I have to go save him!

Then two thoughts strike me. First of all, if they captured him, it means he gave up the information rather than die. Secondly, there was no sign of a struggle at his place. He went willingly.

He was the spy.

An uncontrollable rage fills me. My vision goes from clear to red, and all I can think about is finding that damned rat, Pettrigrew. He won't get away with this. I'll hunt him down myself and murder him. No, no. That isn't enough. I'll make him suffer. I'll kill him slowly.

Hagrid's voice brings me back to reality. "Y-you Know Who, he tried ter kill Harry too, but couldn't." He looks down at the bundle.

I look at him too. He's awake. His eyes are darting, alert. Tears stain his face, but he's quiet now. I don't let my thoughts wander to Prongs and Lily other than to remember that they named me his godfather.

"Give him here, Hagrid. I'll take him."

"Sorry Sirius, but I'm ter take 'im straight ter his aunt's house, Dumbledore's orders."

"I'm his godfather, Hagrid, I'll take care of him."

He shakes his head. "I can't, Dumbledore's orders."

I decide to drop the argument, for now. I have some business to take care of anyway. I'll go back for Harry after I'm done with Pettigrew. "Here Hagrid, take my motorbike. I won't need it," I tell him, handing him the keys.

"Are ye sure?"

"Yes."

"Thank you then."

I help him safely secure Harry and he takes off.

Now where would Pettigrew go? He knows I'll be looking for him, so he'll be in hiding. I'll just have to transform and track him.

OoOoO

I can't believe it happened like this. I can't believe things turned out this way. Of all the rotten luck.

But does it even matter anymore?

What else do I have to live for? I might as well keel over right now and die. I lost Jade, I lost Lily, I lost James . . . and I couldn't even avenge their deaths. The damned rat got away. Now look at the predicament he left me in.

How wrong we were when we thought that he was an idiot. He was as smart as we were. How else could he have thought about a way to lock me away for good? Not only will people think that I killed James and Lily, but now they'll think I blew up this street and killed that rat. Wonderful. Of all the rotten luck.

OoOoO

JADE POV

"Good morning Phil," I say as I walk into the kitchen. He's at the table, drinking tea and reading the muggle paper. It's our daily routine. I walk in, tell him good morning, and he ignores me. Except today, he responds.

"Good morning Jade."

I'm so shocked that I can't move. I stare at him until he points to the window. "I believe your paper is here."

This is the most interaction we've had in ages. I force myself to say something. "Er, thank you." I open the window and the owl flies in. I take the Daily Prophet and place a galleon in the sack tied to its leg. Long distance delivery costs much more. I open the paper after the owl flies away and read the first page.

Dizziness washes over me. I take a seat and put the paper down. I cannot believe what I just read.

"Jade, are you feeling well?" When I don't respond, he comes to me and reads the headline. "'Black Arrested for Murdering Thirteen People'. Black . . . isn't this that bloke you went out with a few years ago?"

I nod slowly. Sirius wouldn't have done this. I know him, he wouldn't do this. I pick up the paper and finish reading the article. I'm vaguely aware of Philip sitting next to me and reading over my shoulder.

"'We don't know why Black would do this,' Ministry spokesperson Jerold Harvey tells The Prophet. 'One theory is that he acted out of anger. We are told that he and the Potters were very close. Perhaps their death unhinged him and he let out his anger by destroying a street full of muggles'."

The Potters as in James and Lily? They're dead? And Sirius is in Azkaban for killing thirteen muggles? This is a joke. It has to be. This absolutely can't be true. Sirius would never do that, and how could James and Lily be dead?

"Jade, please say something. Let me know you're okay."

If this were any other day, I would be overjoyed that Philip is showing interest in me, but today I can't focus on anything other than this. "Phil . . . I have to . . . I have to talk to Mikayla."

"Do you know these people or something?"

"Y-yes, the Potters were my friends. James and Sirius were practically brothers. None of this makes sense. I know Sirius, he would never do this. Ever. I need to talk to Mikayla."

"Well, I need to go to work, but if there's anything you need . . ."

Is he serious? I'm having a near breakdown and he doesn't see that I need him to stay here with me? That I need help with Abby just for today? But I force myself to calm down. This is a start. At least he's starting to come around.

As I'm about to tell him he can go, a thought strikes me. Maybe I could just ask him to stay, and he will. "Well, er, it would be nice, if, er, you could stay a little longer? Just until I get things sorted out? I understand if you can't, though."

He shakes his head, and I see something flicker in his eyes. I don't know what it is, but I think it might be pride. Maybe what he wanted all along was to feel needed. After all, isn't that what all men want?

"Of course. I'll just call in and tell them I can't make it today."

I throw my arms around him and cry freely. I'm know I'm being forward, but it means so much to me that he's willing to stay when I need him. "Thank you so much, you don't know how much this means to me."

He holds me tightly. This is the Philip I had married. "I'm sorry Jade."

"Me too." And that's all it takes. He finally came around a couple of days after Sirius' visit. The irony of it all.

"You should talk to Mikayla. I'm going to make a phone call and I'll be right back."

I nod and walk to the fireplace where I throw some floo powder into the fire and connect to her house. No one is around, from what I can see. "Mikayla!" I yell.

I hear hurried footsteps and then she's in front of me. "Jade! I suppose you've heard?"

Her eyes are red and I guess she's been crying. "So it's true then?"

"Let me come over for a second. Michael is with baby so I have some time."

I take my head out and wait for Mikayla to arrive. "Hi Philip," she says stiffly. I hadn't heard him enter the room.

"Hello Mikayla," he says easily, not at all shaken by her tone.

"Is it true then?" I ask Mikayla.

She nods. "You-Know-Who killed James and Lily. Harry survived, but no one knows how. They say that when You-Know-Who turned to kill Harry, the spell backfired or something and he died. Everyone is calling him The Boy Who Lived now. But he's gone Jade! They're catching all the Death Eaters and the war is over!"

"But James and Lily . . ." I feel the tears pooling at my eyes.

"I know," she cries a little, "it hurts. And poor Harry, he doesn't have anyone now. Both of his parents dead and Sirius locked away. No one knows where Harry is now, but Dumbledore is watching over him."

"So the thing about Sirius is true too?"

She stares at me, trying to read me I think. "Yes Jade. He's in Azkaban," she says a little sharply. She believes the Prophet.

Tears slip out. "But Kay, you know him. You know he wouldn't-"

"I don't know Jade. What they're saying is true, and they don't even know the whole story. He literally had nothing Jade. He had no family, he lost you-" she glances and Philip uncomfortably "-and then he lost his friends, and you now how close he was to James."

"But Kay, I know Sirius. Nothing would lead him to harm all of those people."

"I don't know what to tell you Jade. He killed Peter too."

"He wouldn't do that Mikayla! I know he wouldn't!" I'm near hysteria now.

No one says anything. "I need to see him," I say after I control myself and stop crying.

"Jade, why don't you talk to Remus first?" Kay suggests.

Remus . . . I forgot about him. "Do you know where he is?"

"Last night was a full moon," she says.

"Tomorrow then. Oh Mikayla, I know he didn't do it!"

"Talk to Remus. I have to go, but talk to Remus before you do anything."

"I will. Thank you. Bye"

"Don't think about it Jade. Just forget about it."

Like that's possible. Still, I nod. Once she's gone, I turn to Philip. "I'm really sorry about all of this," I tell him. I try to hold in my tears for his sake, but I can't stop the few tears that fall.

"But it's over. The war is over. No one is in danger anymore," I whisper. Philip doesn't understand any of this; it's something I'll have to explain to him later. Perhaps I don't understand the full gravity of it either since I ran away from the war. It was what Sirius asked me to do though, even though now I wish I hadn't. Never have I felt like such a coward.

OoOoO

The next day I go to Mikayla's after Philip leaves to work. I leave Abby with her while I visit Remus at his place. I haven't been able to sleep, or eat, or even really think since yesterday morning. I don't know what talking to Remus will do, but I need to do something. I feel so . . . helpless. I know Sirius is innocent, and I feel like I have to do something to get him out.

Remus is home, but he looks terrible. He tells me the entire story, picking up from where I left all the way to the end.

"Dumbledore had been informed that Voldemort was after them. I think he also suspected that there was a spy close to them because information kept leaking out. Obviously there were only three people close to James and Lily, so we were all extremely suspicious of each other. James and Lily went into hiding with the Fidelius Charm. Do you know how that works?"

"Yes." I remember writing a paper about it back in Hogwarts. It was for detention . . . with Sirius. He's everywhere. Everything reminds me of him.

"Right, well James chose Sirius as his Secret Keeper. They had only been in hiding for a week. One week, Jade, and he betrayed them. He sold them out to Voldemort." He slams his fist on the table.

This behaviour is not like him. He's always been rather calm. "Remus . . . you know Sirius wouldn't-"

"Do I Jade? Do I really know?"

"That's unfair-"

"No, what's unfair is Sirius betraying James! They were practically brothers and he handed them over to Voldemort with no remorse! He was the spy! And then he killed Peter! Innocent, weak Peter!"

"No, Sirius wouldn't do that. Peter had to be the real spy."

"All the evidence is against him, Jade. He was their Secret Keeper!"

"Remus, you know Sirius better than I do. You know he wouldn't do that." I don't know why it's so important to me that Remus believes Sirius is innocent, but it is.

"No Jade, I thought I knew Sirius, but I obviously didn't."

There's no convincing him. "How would I go about visiting him in Azkaban?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I know he didn't do this."

"There's no point in going Jade. What will you do once you see him? Tell him you know he's innocent? You'll only hurt yourself more because there in no way anyone will believe either of you. At the end of the day, he'll still be in Azkaban- where he belongs- and you'll only be more hurt by having seen him. Just go back to your husband and your wonderful life."

His bitterness hurts me, and his words cut me, but I know he's right. What will I gain by going to see him? Absolutely nothing.

"Jade, I know you still love him," he tells me, his voice much softer now, "but he isn't the same person. Even Dumbledore gave testimony that he was the Secret Keeper. You can't ignore the facts. Don't let your love for him blind you."

"I'm not blinded Remus. I just know him enough to know he wouldn't do it. I'm more ready to believe it was Peter, or you."

"The evidence-"

"-may be wrong," I interrupt. "I'm not going to convince you and you aren't going to convince me, but I know it wasn't him Remus, and I'll stand by that as long as I live."

OoOoO

I've accepted that there's nothing I can do about anything. I know Remus thinks he's guilty, but for some reason, I don't believe him. Sirius would never do that, but there is no way I can prove otherwise. What I have to do is try to forget him, for my sake as much as Abby and Philip's. Maybe I'm giving up much too easily, but honestly, what can I do? Everything points to him. Remus was much too upset to have been the real spy, so I think it was Peter. I think he killed the muggles before Sirius killed him, but who knows? Or Remus did say that Peter is an animagus as well . . . maybe he blew everyone up and got away. I just don't understand why Sirius didn't do the same thing.

It's time I forgot all of this though, so it's time to move on. Philip and I are on good terms now. I don't want to ruin this for us. I need to forget. That's why it's best that we stay here even though the war is over. Italy is a beautiful place and Philip doesn't mind. The only thing I do want is to send Abby to Hogwarts when it's time. It's quite far, but it doesn't matter. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time there, and it's the only place I would be comfortable sending her.

Maybe, just maybe, she'll meet Harry. Maybe they'll become friends. Maybe the time will come when he'll want to know about his parents, and Sirius, and I'll be able to tell him all about them. Or maybe none of that will happen. Maybe he'll hate Sirius, and hate me for loving him. Because no matter what I tell myself, I still love him. I'm just set on moving on and making the most of my life with Philip. He's a good man, and maybe I'll love him one day as much as I love Sirius. Maybe.

So there it is. Love it? Hate it? Let me know. I was sad with this ending, but it sticks to canon for the most part. It's just so sad!

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing (I would add a smiley face, but it feels so morbid, no?)