I'm back!

Here's another chapter. It's full of reveals (some of love and some of magic).

I want to thank all of those who have reviewed. You guys are great. I have tried editing more, this chapter especially should be error free. I will try, when I get time, to go back through the other chapters and fix the mistakes. :-)

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Last time I checked I was not in France filming Merlin, so therefore I can conclude that I do not own it

Lyrics in the beginning: Rosie Thomas, Farewell

Chapter 10: Yesterday

I never asked you for

A sailboat in the yard

Or that fancy dress to wear

Or a ceiling made of stars

And all I got was just this

Broken heart from you

'We have to end this.'

The words that Lancelot had spoken to Gwen moments ago echoed through her head as she clumsily walked down the deserted halls of the castle. She placed her hand on the wall to balance herself as her foot tripped on a loose stone on the floor. Her vision blurred and the rest of her body joined her hand in leaning against the wall.

'It's wrong Gwen.'

She had protested at first. He was holding her in his arms when he began his speech and she had pulled out of the embrace, shaking her head, and screaming No! in her mind with every word he said. He had, at first, followed her backwards movements, but gave up and ended up standing in the middle of his room tearing her heart out.

'It was never going to turn out happy. You know that.'

She did know that, but she would not believe it. She had thought herself horrible at first, cheating on her husband with his best friend. She still felt horrible about it, but she had stopped feeling guilty. Because she had seen the way Arthur looked at Merlin and she may be physically cheating on him, but he was emotionally cheating on her. He did not love her as much as he loved Merlin, she could see that now and it did not hurt because she had Lancelot.

'We can't—I'm stopping it.'

She had Lancelot, who she loved and it made it easier to pretend to be with Arthur when she knew at least someone loved her.

'It was just a one time act.'

'It wasn't for me! I love you Lancelot, I want to stay with you.'

'I don't love you Gwen.'

And now she had nothing. A part of her, a small part of her, believed she deserved this. It was only fair after her actions that she should end up alone. Because she was not going to lie to herself and say she still had Arthur; she did not. Arthur loved her, he would not have married her if he did not, but he loved Merlin more. And she had Lancelot, so it was alright.

But she no longer had Lancelot. She was alone and as she continued to walk down the hallways of Camelot, she kept telling herself that she deserved it, deserved to be unloved, hoping that by the time she reached her chambers she would believe it.

The council meeting ended and Merlin felt that nothing had been accomplished. There was nothing that needed to changed in Camelot's laws, there were no treats on their borders, no further news of the missing courier, no letter from King Lot, and the homicide at Ealdor was shoved under so many rugs no one knew to ask about what had happened.

The only thing that Merlin gathered that was of significance was that neither Gwen nor Lancelot were at the meeting, and it seemed that Leon knew why by the fact that he would not look at either of their empty seats.

And so, with the meeting adjourned, they all began standing up and filing out of the room. Merlin stood with rest and began making his way over to Arthur, who was in conversation with Leon near the door, to see if he needed to do anything. He was blocked on his way by Agravaine.

"Sire," Agravaine said loud enough to halt Arthur's conversation with Leon and turn his attention to him. "I need to speak to you," He gave a pointed look at Leon and Merlin. "privately."

"I will take my leave then." Leon said, bowing which caused Arthur to glare at the knight. Leon grabbed Merlin's arm and dragged the servant out with him when he looked as if he was going to protest to leaving Arthur's side. The door shut behind the two of them.

And then the hallway was full of people. They were in armor, running about, yelling orders. Some were bleeding as if they had been in battle, some were laying dead on the floor, eyes unseeing. Merlin took a step back before he stepped on an arm that was no longer attached to a body. It was chaos. He could smell the blood and steel in the air and he could hear the clanging of metal on metal outside.

"Merlin!" His name being shouted caused the scene to dissolve into smoke and he found himself staring at Leon's worried face, his back against the wall with Leon's hand on his arm. "Can you hear me?" Merlin nodded faintly and looked around the hallway. There was no blood, no death, no soldiers. It was peaceful and quiet and Merlin began shaking.

"It's fine Leon. I'm fine, just got light headed." He waved a hand as if to clear the worry from the air and stepped out of Leon's hold. "I've been working for the prat all morning." He let out a strained chuckle and then quickly made his way down the hall before Leon could protest.

He left Leon standing there with concern on his face. And Leon was reminded of an old man named Fendral who spoke of Merlin's mother in her last few days and how she would blank out and act as if she was seeing things that were not actually there.

The door shut leaving both Arthur and Agravaine alone in the council room. Arthur turned away from the door, walked over to the empty Round Table, pulled out a random chair, and took a seat. He looked over at Agravaine who walked around to the other side of the table, where Arthur's usual seat was, and leaned against the empty King's chair.

He lowered his gaze to the table. "I am not sure how to go about saying what it is I have to say." He started, still not looking at Arthur in the eye. Arthur hearing the tone in his uncle's voice became worried about what Agravaine was about to tell him.

"How about you just start talking." Arthur tried not to sound annoyed, but Agravaine was just making him more nervous by not saying anything and drawing out the suspense.

"I hear many things around the castle." He began drawing random designs on the table with his hand. "the people, the servants, are more open about talking in front of me than opposed to you. About rumors that is. A couple weeks ago I heard a most interesting and appalling rumor—"

Arthur cut him off. "You had me stay behind so you can gossip Agravaine?"

Agravaine looked up from his concentration on the table. "No, if it was just a rumor I would not have come to you, but I fear that this particular rumor has truth to it." Agravaine turned his gaze to the ceiling above. "It involves the queen."

Arthur immediately came to attention, fixing his uncle with a hard stare. "What about her?" Agravaine refused to look at him. "Tell me now!" Agravaine finally turned his gaze to his king; it was a pitying look.

"She has not been faithful to you Arthur." He said it quickly.

Arthur heard every word clear as day. His movements, which were in the process of getting up from the chair, stopped and he slumped down. His brain replaying the words, trying to make sense of them. "Wh—what?"

"I'm sor—"

"With who?" His voice was quiet.

Agravaine practically whispered the name. "Lancelot."

Arthur shook his head. "No." His voice began firmer. "No. It can't be true. It's just rumors. Gwen would never—Lancelot wouldn't—"

"I've seen them!" Agravaine's words echoed in the room. He composed himself, his hands firmly planted on the table beneath him. "I've seen them, with my own two eyes. It's..it's true sire." His voice tapered off at the end. Arthur's first instinct was to yell out 'No!', leave the room, go about his day, and pretend that he had not heard what Agravaine just told him.

…And he wished had done that, but instead he stayed in the chair, his grip on the edge of the table tightening, and asked himself why Agravaine would lie to him about this. He did not want to believe that Gwen would do this, but at the same time he could not see his uncle lying to him.

And really, thinking back, he could see it. He saw them: the looks that were a little too long, the smiles that were a little too bright, the touches—He stopped himself from thinking about that. He knew that they cared for each other more than they should, but he never expected them to act on it. He felt anger like a beast in his chest and it clawed at him, leaving marks of betrayal and pain in their wake.

He loved her.

And maybe it was not perfect. Maybe he could have loved her more. And maybe he was having dreams of someone else, but he was going to make them work. He promised, he vowed to her, and no matter how much he may have loved another, no matter how much he wanted to be with another person, he would have stayed by her side. He had loved her enough to do that, at least. And he would have; he would have loved her until they were old and winkled and tired.

He felt something wet roll down his cheek.

He open his eyes and was met with a watery view of the Round Table beneath him. In jerky movements, he wiped away the tear from his face, stood up, and left the room without saying a word. The door closed loudly behind, echoing in the council room. And Agravaine stayed still in his position by the King's chair, a smirk beginning to play at his lips.

Gwen looked up from her position of sitting on the bed. She sat on top of the perfectly folded sheets, her midnight blue gown flowing around her. Once, a while back, this gown made her feel beautiful and now all she wanted to do was rip it off and never look at it again. Her eyes connected with the man who had given her the dress. He walked through the open door and shut it quietly behind him.

His eyes turned to Gwen who was looking at him. She had never seen that look on his face before. His face cold, no emotion expect for his eyes which showed hurt and anger in their blue depths. She wondered who could have caused him that much pain.

"Arth—"

He held up a hand and tore his gaze away from Gwen and towards the ground. The gesture was more like a plea than a command. "We—" his voice broke. "We need to talk." He lowered his hand and it dropped limply to his side. He did not move from his position of a few feet in front on the door; not wanting to step closer to Gwen.

"I—why?"

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows; she sat up straighter on the bed. "Why what Arthur?" Her voice was sweet, kind, genuinely caring, and Arthur wanted to scream. Don't say my name like that. Arthur's hands clenched at his sides, his head was still bowed to the ground.

"I just want to know…why?" He pleaded and he slowly raised his head so his eyes could meet hers. And she saw his lip tremble slightly. "I gave you everything." His voice was straining and he heard it and it made him angrier that he cared so much.

Gwen understood what he was talking about, and just like that all her secrets were out in the open. She felt a cold hand grip her heart and squeeze and she could not look at him in the eye. Her hands twisted in the sheets, disrupting the perfection of the bed. She let out a shaky breath and the hand around her heart gripped tighter when she realized that she had caused him to look as he did; she had caused him this pain. A small part of her reveled in it though, knowing that he cared enough about her that she could her hurt him like this.

"It's—I—I love him." It was said so quietly, so absolutely that Arthur had no doubt she did. He could hear it in her voice, there was no lie. He hated her for it, yet loved her for it. She had loved Lancelot more than him and that's what drove her in his arms; it was not just about the sex.

Arthur nodded, blinking the tears from his eyes. "I love—loved you Gwen."

"Not enough." She said looking up from bed to stare him straight in the eye. Arthur went to protest and she stood up from the bed, her gown swishing on the floor. "I have never doubted that you loved me, but don't lie to me and say you loved me most." Her voice was strong besides the shakiness of it.

Arthur recoiled slightly. And Gwen started again.

"I'm not justifying my actions—and, and I'm not blaming you. It was my decision and my fault. I cheat—cheated." She forced out the word. "But don't tell me that you haven't thought of another. And I understand why. It hurts to know that you did, and I can't imagine how you feel knowing that I acted on my feelings, but—but it was never you and me. I've seen the way you look at him."

Arthur felt the air leave his chest: she knew.

"I think I've known it from the beginning." Gwen stated lowering her gaze to the floor as if seeing memories in between the cracks in the stones. "When you asked me to marry you, I knew how you felt and I told myself that it was fine. I told myself that maybe I wasn't first, but as least I was a close second. I thought I could live with that."

"But then I realized that I was not a close second. You love me," she stated with firm conviction looking at Arthur from across the room. "But you need him. If I was to," she choked on her words. "If I was to die, it would hurt you but you—you would move on. But, but if Merlin," saying the name out in the open for the first time caused Arthur's heart to clench as she motion to her side like Merlin was actually in the room. "If Merlin was to die, you would fall. It would break you."

"You love me, of that I have never doubted, but you look at him like, like he's everything like he's the very air you breathe. And I can't compete with that." She sent Arthur a sad smile even though he was not looking at her. "And that's why I went to Lancelot, because he—he looks at me the way you look at Merlin."

Arthur raised his head and looked at Gwen with sadness and understanding. She took a step forward and then stopped. "Don't blame Lancelot. He broke it off and I was the one who pushed us together. He stayed a good man." She sent Arthur a pleading look. "Do whatever you have to do with me, but please leave Lancelot alone. His only crime is loving me."

Arthur nodded slowly and stepped to the side. "Leave." He looked up at her and there still that understanding she saw earlier, but now it was mixed with a depression and pain that caused her to flinch. "Please, just go." Gwen nodded, tears falling silently down her face, she picked up her gown, and walked towards the door. She hesitated as she passed Arthur and went to reach out a hand, probably to place on his shoulder, but stopped herself. She had no right to touch him now. She lowered her hand and left the room.

Arthur stood in the center off the room, unmoving.

His mind kept replaying the words she had said and he still could not believe what had just happened. Only an hour ago they were a couple. A couple that had beat all the odds: the prince and the maid. They had hid their relationship from his father, had secretly been engaged, and somehow made it to the point where they could officially become man and wife. And now, in few short minutes, it was over.

Camelot no longer had a queen and Arthur no longer had a wife.

The door to his room opened, interrupting his thoughts, but he did not move. "Arthur?" He closed his eyes when he heard his manservant's voice. Every time he was about to fall apart Merlin would show. And even in this dark time, he still felt that giddiness rise in him whenever Merlin was near.

He heard the door shut and Merlin's footsteps sounded across the stone. Merlin stood in front of him. "Arthur?" A hand, warm and light, was placed on his shoulder and Arthur could not resist the urge to look up. His eyes met concerned blue ones. He saw the other face through a veil, which made him realize he was crying.

And then the face disappeared and he was pressed into another body. His face was resting in between Merlin's neck and shoulder; the cotton of the shirt and the neckerchief brushing against his skin. Arms were wrapped around him. Arthur closed his eyes and thought about the many times he had wished this, to be held by Merlin in this way and how many times these thoughts were interrupted by Gwen.

He buried his face in the cotton shirt, wrapped his arms around Merlin, and eliminated the few inches of space between them. He could feel the warmth of Merlin's body radiating against his own; it was solid, unmoving, and comfortable. He let the tears fall.

Merlin, for once, did not say a word.

Arthur pulled away a few minutes later. Merlin, reacting to Arthur pulling away, grabbed his hand and led him over to the bed where he sat him down. "Arthur?" It's the only word Merlin had said since he had entered the room and he did not need to say more than that, Arthur knew what he was asking.

"Gwen and Lancelot." He said quietly still not really believing it. Something in his voice must have struck a chord with Merlin, because he immediately sat down next to Arthur on the bed and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. When he went to move his hand away, Arthur grabbed it and did not let go.

He raised his face to met Merlin's. "Did you know?"

Merlin shook his head. "I had my suspicions but no, I did not know for certain." Arthur nodded and closed his eyes, trying to regain some form of his former self. He was never one to openly show his emotions like this. "Arthur." Merlin gave his hand a squeeze and Arthur opened his eyes to look at him. "You understand that this is not your fault." His eyes were fixed on Arthur's trying to convey this belief.

"Ye—yes I know." But really Merlin it is partly my fault, I had loved her but not as much as I loved you. And in the end, it was too obvious. "She loves him." He said it as if it justified everything. Merlin's jaw tightened and he began rubbing small circles on top of Arthur's hand with his thumb.

Arthur averted his gaze from Merlin and looked down at his lap. "I—you." He composed his thoughts and tried to bring up the courage to ask his request. "You won't leave me, will you Merlin?" He sounded small and Arthur hated himself for it, but he needed to know. It felt like, in the end, everyone eventually betrayed him.

The thumb ceased its movements on his hand and he built up the courage to turn to his face to Merlin's. Merlin met his gaze unwaveringly. "I remember a few days ago you promising to never leave me. I guess it's only fair that I promise you the same." He said it simply and with a smile, and Arthur remembered making that promise a few days back.

He gave a smile back to Merlin and then turned away to stare at the wall. He saw memories of him and Guinevere play out on the blank wall. He went through all of them remembering her smile, her laugh, her kiss, and her sitting next to him on the throne. He went through all these memories silently, and began placing them away in his mind. They were the past now.

Merlin stayed by him the entire time, his hand in his, completely silent.

Arthur had eventually fallen asleep a few hours later. Merlin had realized this when Arthur's head had landed on his shoulder, his eyes shut, and his breathing deep. He had lifted Arthur off of him and placed him lying on the bed. He fixed the pillows behind his head into a more comfortable position, took one last look over the king, and then made his way out of the room.

He had gone into Arthur's room earlier that day after seeing Gwen walking briskly down the hallway, crying. He had remembered seeing that, in a vision, and had immediately raced to see if Arthur was fine. He had not expected to find Arthur crying and looking lost in the middle of his room.

He felt his heart break when he realized that Arthur now knew about Gwen and Lancelot. Merlin knew how much Arthur had loved Gwen, he had seen the love develop over the years. He wished he could be angry with Gwen, but he had seen the way Lancelot looked at her and he has kept so many secrets from Arthur that he felt he had no right to judge.

He had wanted to ask Arthur so many questions: 'How did you find out?', 'Who had told you?', 'What are you going to do with Gwen and Lancelot?'. But he had kept his mouth shut and decided that what Arthur needed was someone there with him, because Merlin had remembered needed the same thing when his mother died. He had not wanted to talk, he just wanted to know that he was not alone. So that's why he had not asked a single thing of Arthur, but sat down next to him for hours without saying a word.

A part of him, a small part of him, was glad Arthur knew. For one, it was one secret that Merlin no longer had to bear and two, it had hurt to see Arthur with Gwen. He had told himself, when they married, that he needed to be happy for them and he was. He loved Arthur enough to pretend, but it still hurt. There was still that little twisted pain each time Arthur would send Gwen a smile or he would give Gwen a small kiss on the lips. That same part that was overjoyed Arthur was no longer with Gwen, was the same part that wanted to go up to Gwen and shake her. Yell at her, tell her why she would ever give up someone like Arthur.

It was that part of Merlin that he would never act on.

So he kept these thoughts and actions to himself as he walked down the dark hallways of Camelot, intending to go to his room to achieve a few hours of sleep. He had made it down the second set of stairs when that same feeling of all his senses being both suppressed and enhanced hit him.

The hallway was now bathed in the light of daytime. It was deserted and quiet expect for the muffled sounds coming from outside the walls. He stepped forward, his foot tripped over a fallen sword on the ground, and he fell into the wall on his right. And that's when the feeling of magic blanketed him.

It was the feeling of heaviness that only powerful magic could create. He turned slowly and found a young man walking towards him. The young man had floppy black hair, a child like face, and pale, intensely pale blue eyes. Even though he was years older, Merlin still recognized him: Mordred.

The young man walked with confidence down the hallway as if he had already seen the outcome and knew he won. Merlin was moving, against his own accord, to stand in the middle of the hallway. Mordred saw him and stopped a couple feet in front of him. They said nothing.

Mordred's hand shot up and his eyes glowed gold. Merlin instinctively reacted, uttering an ancient spell, feeling the power of magic roll off from his fingers to the air around him. Mordred's spell his barrier, the power caused him to slide backwards, and snapped him back into reality.

The hallway transformed back to how it was; dark and empty. Merlin was standing in the center of it, his hand outstretched, and the magic barrier slowly fading away with no Mordred standing on the other side. He could still feel the hum of his magic and Mordred's on his skin.

He lowered his arm and a caught a movement out of the corner of his eye.

That's when he realized the hallway was not as empty as it was before. Gwaine stood behind him, his eyes wide open, his face pale, and his body rigid. Merlin felt the ice cold wave of terror roll through him as his magic had only seconds before.

Oh, Gwaine knows!

His reaction will be in the next chapter as well as updates with King Lot and King Richardson, Morgana and Mordred, and a meeting between Leon and Arthur, and Merlin deciding to do something incredibly stupid.

So look forward to that. And don't forget to review! I love reading them.