Disclaimer: I don't own anything; If I did, sure as hell Delena wouldn't be just FanFic anymore...
A/N: I'm really glad about the amount of people following my story! Until now I managed to update every day; sadly I can't uphold this schedule anymore...You know, the work (the one that earns me money ...), my children and strange things like sleep (sometimes it would be good to have more than three hours though...) keep me from writing. I hope I can update every three days...put it on alert so you won't miss it...:-)
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Chapter 10
Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
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Down by Jason Walker
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They had examined the stones but found nothing special about them; Damon had plugged them into the pockets of his jeans.
"I think we're done here; let's get our asses home" he suggested, and a grin spread over his face; he was as glad as the human girl tacked to his hand about finally going home again.
Elena nodded fiercely. "Which way should we go?"
"I honestly have no clue" Damon replied, glancing at her questioningly. "I'm guessing it's your turn to lead us out of here. Didn't Bonnie say so?"
She nodded again in silent agreement. She glanced around and closed her eyes briefly and then decided to go on like before. She didn't know if this was the right direction; actually it felt like there was no right or wrong direction at all. It didn't matter which way they went, if only they put space between the rock and themselves. However, she chose that way just to get as far away as possible from the fog that nearly had killed Damon.
At first they walked in silence, but after a short while Elena broke it. "What do you think, how long have we been in here by now?"
Damon shrugged. "I don't know, it feels like about one day and one night, maybe a little longer; but I don't know how long we were sleeping; not too long though, I think."
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. You know" she suddenly changed the subject, "I'm curious if Bonnie really knows what to do with The Seven. She didn't even know what the item was when we were out there."
"Maybe she'll know what to do when she sees them. Maybe she remembers something she hadn't known to be important …ugh, I don't know. We'll have to wait and see…"
They kept quiet again. And again it was Elena who broke the silence.
"We still don't know at all how to find Stefan…" she said in a low, sad voice.
Damon tossed her a brief side glance and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "They told us we'll find him."
"You trust their words?" Elena looked baffled.
"Nope. I never trust any witches…except Bonnie, maybe; when it comes to you, at least. But they sounded very confident. And they were right with the stones, too."
"Do you…do you think we'll come in time? To save his humanity, I mean?" she asked in a tight voice, brows furrowed, fear in her eyes.
"Elena, I won't lie to you. It will be much harder than last time. It's two or three days now, and God knows how long it will still take to find him; and he doesn't even pretend to be clean this time. He will completely give in his blood lust, given the fact that Klaus surely is pushing him; and that makes it much worse. Last time he clung to his humanity, this time he probably will forfeit it. But once we'll get him back, we will bring him back on track…I promise."
And for the third time within a few minutes Elena nodded as an answer. "I'm just asking because…I still remember that nightmare I had, you know, the one about Stefan."
Although walking, he pinned her with his gaze. "Elena, what is it? What haven't you told me?" he asked cautiously.
She hesitated; it had been only a nightmare, just a damn dream, why the hell couldn't she shake it off? And why did she allow it to disturb her that much? Although she felt a little childish, she decided to talk about the odd feeling she'd have. "You're right, I didn't tell you everything about it; I only told you, that he was evil in my dream. Bad enough, I mean, my dreams about him had always been good ones, full of love and…this nightmare…he wasn't just evil; he wanted to…he wanted to kill me."
Damon's face fell, and he swallowed; he hadn't known that. When he spoke, his voice was tinged with pain. "I thought you were dreaming about things he did to others. I didn't know that he attacked you in your dream." Elena watched him attentively; he seemed to ascribe more weight to that dream than she had expected.
"No" she said tentatively, "he didn't attack me. He just looked up to me, and…I knew that he was going to kill me. He…he was willing to kill me; he was…" A shivery sigh escaped her mouth; she couldn't go on anymore. The very thought of the nightmare she had avoided to think about terrified her; Damon gazed at her and saw her shaking in trepidation, wide-eyed staring at him, her face paled. He hesitated only a second; then he grabbed her shoulder and turned her to take her in his arms. He wrapped his free arm around her shoulder and held her tight, and she let him hold her.
When the trembling ceased, she detached herself from Damon's embrace, gave him a grateful glance and moved on. "It didn't feel like a nightmare, you know? It was so …real" she stated silently. "I even considered if it maybe was real. But I was with you that night. He couldn't have managed to do this to me with you by my side, could he?"
Damon shook his head. "No, he couldn't. I would have woken up if he had tried to come close enough. Besides, you were on vervain, weren't you?"
She nodded. "It most likely was an ordinary nightmare. It's just…with everything you told me, I'm horrified of not getting rid of that picture of the nightmare in my mind anymore…I don't want to see my boyfriend like that for ever…"
He squeezed her hand. "You won't. Once he's back to normal, you will see him like you always did. You knew before that he had done bad things in his past; still you didn't see him like a ripper."
"That was before I saw the evil in his eyes…"
"You saw me doing bad things, and still…"
She cut him off. "Damon, this is something completely different. I never ever saw evil in you. What I saw in Stefan's eyes… he savored his cruelness. You had switched off your feelings, so you didn't care. It's not the same."
Words escaped him. He knew what she was talking about; and he knew that she was right. He remembered his own feelings toward Stefan's behavior in the first time after being turned. Back then, he even couldn't bear it anymore; he had to leave him.
He mentally kicked himself for defending his brother, as if he wanted her to be together with Stefan again, but he had to say it. "You know that this is only one part of him. In a clear mind, the good one, the saint-Stefan-brooding-part dominates."
Elena agreed. "Yes, it does. But that doesn't mean that the other part isn't real. And I don't know if I could ever trust him again like I did." If I could be with him as my boyfriend again…
For a minute nothing could be heard than their footsteps on the ground, until Damon said in a low voice: "He will need you…"
"I know…"
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They moved on, and this time they remained silent for about five minutes until Damon stopped dead in his tracks. Elena turned to watch him. "Damon, why…" she trailed off when she saw Damon's face; he was visibly taken aback.
"I'm stuck." He scowled.
"What? What do you mean? Is there a barrier, like at thresholds where you're not invited in?"
"No. It's like that day when I was in the dead witches' mansion for the first time; I can't move my feet" Damon growled; then he suddenly lifted up his head to glare into the not existing sky above them and ranted: "Don't worry, I don't like you either!"
Elena' gaze dropped down to his feet, as if she could find something there to help him. She felt desperation creeping into her mind; what the hell were they supposed to do now? As if they hadn't been punished enough yet, she heard Damon gasping. Alerted, her gaze shot up again and she saw his face paling even more than it usually was; he staggered slightly. Instantly she shifted, twining her free arm around his waist to steady him. Her heart was pounding; what was going on here? Damn, how could she help him?
"Elena…" he barely managed to speak "you have to try to go back on your own; they need The Seven…" She could see that he was weakening fast.
"Shut up, Damon," she cut him off fiercely, "we're not in a bad western; I won't leave you!" Her mind was racing; there had to be a way…Something must have gone wrong…what the hell could it be? What did they do? She forced herself to calm down to regain her capability of thinking straight. It was not getting easier when Damon's legs couldn't support him any more and buckled; she gently helped him to sit on the ground. Then she focused again on what they had done earlier. The chat with the witches' voice whirled through her mind; all species together … the stones… vampire and human …trust.
"Damon, the stones!" she blurted out. "Where are they?"
He opened his eyes briefly, then they fell shut again. He was fighting unconsciousness. "Pockets…" he murmured almost unhearable. Elena reached with her free hand into his trouser pockets and grabbed the stones; she hadn't even time to flush in embarrassment about fumbling in his pockets. When she was sure to hold all seven stones in her hand, she managed to push them one by one between their glued palms. She wrapped her arm around him to a tight embrace; now she only could hope to have done the right thing…
All of a sudden a familiar feeling set in; her head started to spin. With Damon still leaning against her, she couldn't remain seated anymore; their bodies entwined, they slumped down to the ground, The Seven securely pressed between the palms of both of them. Elena felt him getting slack when unconsciousness eventually overcame him; she buried her head deep into the curve of his neck, breathing in his scent. The spinning feeling spread through her body and she felt the ground fading away; and then finally unconsciousness released her.
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Chanting.
It was the very first thing Elena became aware of.
It took a while before she noticed that she knew the chanting voice. Bonnie.
Then she realized that she was laying on the ground, entwined in a tight embrace with … someone. Someone whose familiar scent was causing the spreading of a warm feeling around her heart.
Damon.
Damon!
Like a tidal wave the events rushed back into her mind.
Her head jerked up to look at his face. He didn't move at all. Elena's stomach turned into a knot. She didn't hear the voices calling her name. She shrugged off the hands that wanted to help her. She jumped up on her knees and bent over the vampire whose hand still was tacked to hers. He still didn't move. Tears were falling freely. An awkward silence set in, but she didn't realize that either. With her free hand she cupped his face, stroking it.
"Damon!" Her tears were falling on his lifeless face, wetting his cheeks similar to hers. "Damon! Wake up please!" Urging this time. Pleading. "No, no, no, no, no!" Desperate. And then getting angry. "Open your damn eyes, you ass!"
The corners of his lips tugged up to a grin so slightly that she almost missed it. But she didn't. She stared at his face until he finally opened his eyes. When their gazes met, his light grin faded away. Eyes locked, they stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. And then she whispered: "We're home." A wide grin spread over his face and she mirrored it instantly. With his free arm he pulled her down on his chest again, holding her as tight as he dared without hurting her. It was then when a delicate hand gently loosened their entwined hands and carefully took the stones to keep them equally safe. It took them a while to realize the freedom their second arms had regained; but then they knew again how to tighten their embrace. And they did.
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The ones who had stayed at the boarding house proved good manners and moved to another room to give the travelers some space.
After a while relishing the closeness of each other and the safety they felt to be home again, Damon eventually broke the intimate silence. He shook his head lightly and said in a stunned voice: "You really made it. How did you know?" He stroked her head, hands tangled in her hair.
Elena shrugged. "I didn't. It was the only possibility I could think of."
He blinked; then he sat up, drawing her with him, not yet ready to let her go, leaning against the couch beside them. "Stubborn girl." Closing his eyes, he buried his face for a moment into her hair. "I told you to go on your own."
"I told you I wouldn't leave you." She smiled up at him. "Don't you get it? It was a risk I was willing to take. It worked. Everything's fine. We did it."
"Yeah" he chuckled. "We finally did it."
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A few minutes later Ric came in, carefully balancing a tray with some tumblers and a canter with bourbon, two mugs with steaming coffee and two blood bags on it. With an apologetic look he placed it on the table in front of them. "We need to talk"
With a sigh they disengaged themselves from each other; it was the first time since Damon had taken Elena's hand to step together into the pentagram that they were apart, and both felt it as a loss. Their gazes met for a second, then both broke away; Elena grabbed a mug and took a sip of coffee; Damon poured himself a blood bag into a tumbler and downed it in seconds; then he poured bourbon into two tumblers, reached one over to Ric and took a sip from the other one.
He contemplated for a moment to take a seat in his favorite armchair, but a brief glance to the girl curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace convinced him to forgo the armchair. Like before their trip he snatched her feet and placed them on his lap. They had been linked for such a long time; he couldn't imagine being without that contact for longer than a few minutes ever again; so he allowed himself this intimate gesture. He glanced at Elena and was relieved to see the expression on her face; as far as he could tell, this feeling seemed to be mutual. Still, he was well aware that they had to stop doing this now; back home again there was no more official reason to be linked; despite everything that had happened between them, out here they were nothing more than brother and girlfriend of Stefan's, who was still missing and had to be saved. Damon knew that, and he knew that he had to come to terms with it; the earlier the better.
He came to a decision; with a resolute expression on his face, he downed his bourbon, gave Elena's feet a gentle squeeze and lowered them to the floor. The emptiness he felt instantly was even stronger than earlier, now that he new it had to be lasting. He strode over to the liquor table, poured himself some more booze and remained standing there, avoiding her gaze that lingered on his features.
Elena understood. They were done. She had watched him and had examined the changing expressions in his features. She had seen the pain, but also the determination and she knew he was doing the right thing. Only she wasn't quite sure anymore what was right and what was wrong; however, they had to focus on their save-Stefan-mission now. Taking a deep breath and tossing him a sad glance, she braced herself, turned toward the others who meanwhile had strode in and settled down on the couches and armchairs, and began to tell them all about their trip to the intermediate world. Well, almost all about it…
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"Where are The Seven right now actually?" Damon, now lounging in the armchair in front of the fireplace, applied to Bonnie; he remembered vaguely that it must have been her who took the stones out of their still glued hands. She nodded, stood up and paced over to the coffee table where she had put her purse on earlier. She took them out, placed them on the palm of her outstretched right hand to show them to the others.
"Marvelous, huh?" Damon's voice was laced with the hint of disdain.
Bonnie spared him a glance. "You went through hell to get it, and you both nearly died more than once, Damon. Give them some credit." He glared at her but said nothing; it was hardly her fault that he was cranky; he didn't have to take it out on her. Hell, when had he become all Gandhi?
Tyler chimed in. "Do you have any idea what to do with those, Bonnie? This voice told Elena and Damon you'd know."
"Not yet" she shook her head. "I have to go through my grimmoires, I guess. Maybe in the ones of the Martins…"
"You should probably take them home with you, Bonnie" Alaric suggested. "If this is the only thing that can harm Klaus, they should be at a safe place. And your house is the only one that is still completely vampire safe, isn't it?"
"Klaus has been invited in only at Ric's and the Gilbert's house…" Caroline objected but was cut off of Damon.
"Yes, Blondie. But my dear little brother had been everywhere except at Bonnie's."
"Yeah, right…I forgot about that" Caroline agreed murmuring. Everyone understood very well what she didn't say; she couldn't manage to picture Stefan as a threat.
"Uh, guys?" Jeremy cut in, looking a little insecure. "Klaus can easily compel someone to go inside. Wouldn't they be safer at the boarding house, though? I mean, Damon is here …" He trailed off when he realized that he sounded like a groupie.
Damon gaped at him incredulously. "I'm really touched, Gilbert, that you think I can stand up to the biggest baddie ever…" He rolled his eyes. "I really think it's a good idea for Ju…for Bonnie to take and hide it. Apparently I'm a little predictable in the choice of my hiding places."
"Alaric?" Elena raised her voice for the first time since they had been done telling about their trip. "When you said earlier that we needed to talk, did you only mean to hear all about our little adventure? I had the impression that you wanted to tell us something, too."
Ric flinched. Wanted to tell was not really the right word for it… but they needed to. "Liz was here earlier. It seems like there have been attacks by animals…" he paused, not knowing how to tell Elena without hurting her too much.
Damon instantly knew what he was talking about. He closed his eyes in annoyance. Would that damn night ever come to an end? Opening his eyes again, he sneaked a look at Elena. Assessing the expression on her face, she knew as well.
Nobody said a word; nobody wanted to be the messenger, too afraid to hurt her. He sighed.
"Wolf marks?" he suggested matter-of-factly. "Slaughtered?" Silent, hesitant nodding all around. Eying Elena, he found his assumption confirmed. She had known. Eyes shut, brows furrowed she asked: "Klaus and …Stefan?" Her eyes popped open again, and she looked straight to Damon. He was the only one who would tell her the crude facts without making an effort to protect her from the truth. He always had done. He nodded, and she mimicked his movement, acknowledging the facts.
Elena turned to face one by one; there was more about it, she could see it. What did they still hide?
"What is it?" se demanded angrily.
Tyler decided that she really should know, for her own safety, and that he could take it to be the messenger.
"After the sacrifice, the tracks led away from Mystic Falls. Now they are heading back here, as it seems…"
Elena's eyes widened. "What does that mean?"
"I assume that Stefan didn't forget his deodorant…" Damon grumbled. Elena made a face at him. When their eyes locked, he let out another sigh.
"It means that I won't let you out of my sight anymore…"
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Elena woke up in a dark room, completely disoriented. She had the odd feeling that she should know where she was, that she should know why the scent lingering in the air was so familiar. It took more than a minute until it dawned to her that she had slept in Stefan's bed.
She didn't remember how she came here; the last thing she knew was that she had been curled up on the couch while they all had discussed the reason for the turn of events. She had felt exhausted, and she remembered that she desperately had wished to go home, taking a shower and slipping into her bed. Apparently she had fallen asleep on the couch, and someone make a wild guess who? had carried her upstairs, laid down on Stefan's bed, pulled her shoes out and tucked her in; she gratefully noted that she was still wearing her clothes.
She wondered why he had chosen his brother's bed. The night before had that really been just one night ago? he had decided to take one of the guest rooms. Why now Stefan's? Did he really think she'd feel good in here? Well, she didn't. To be honest, she felt terrible. She felt alone, and guilty and… frightened. The nightmare was still clinging to her mind; and now that she knew they seemed to come back to Mystic Falls…
She had to get out of here. She slipped out of the bed, snatched her shoes and sneaked out of the room. In the hallway she paused briefly; where should she go now? She couldn't go home; not now, in the middle of the night, all on her own, at that. She tiptoed to the staircase; when she passed Damon's room, she stood still for a moment, throwing a wistful glance at the door, knowing fully well that the dark haired vampire she was longing to be with was lying in his bed behind it. The same bed she had been sleeping in for the last two nights, snuggled against him.
She shook her head fiercely to free her mind from these thoughts and crept downstairs. She turned to the parlor and settled down on the armchair in front of the fireplace. His favorite armchair. The one where he had taken refuge tonight. She swallowed hard; he had fled from her. When she wanted him so badly to come back to her…Her eyes were brimming with tears she refused to shed.
She paced over to the liquor table and poured bourbon into one of the tumblers, taking it with her, back to the armchair. While taking a sip of the throat burning liquid she stared at the still crackling fire. Suddenly she noticed shards of glass she was sure had not been there earlier. Her heart ached for him, she could nearly sense the pain he had felt that moment he had thrown the glass into the fire. She swallowed the rest of the bourbon in one gulp, strode over to refill her tumbler; within two minutes she downed it, too.
Sadly, it didn't work. It didn't numb the pain she was feeling, neither the one she felt for him nor her own.
She needed some air. Now. She didn't think about it for long; she put on her shoes, sneaked toward the front door, opened it as quiet as possible, stepped out and left the door ajar. Then she breathed in deeply and paced over toward the edge of the wood, wanting nothing more than to put some space between herself and the boarding house where he was sleeping in. When she reached the first trees, she turned around to glare at the house; why had it to be that complicated? Didn't they have enough problems?
Caught up in her anger, she didn't hear the silent rustling coming from behind her. Not possessing enhanced hearing, she wouldn't have noticed anyway that it wasn't an animal striding through the brushwood. However, she didn't even hear it.
Until it was too late.
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A/N: Oooh, cliffhanger...