Chapter 10

Everything had gone so much better than expected.

Well, maybe not for Castiel who seemed to be a little disappointed. Dean wondered, if it was because after all that happened, he had wanted them to be only friends and being friends included certain boundaries, starting with that they'd be still sleeping in different rooms. Cas had said he was considering trying regular sleeping again and Dean had joked about getting a sword and a shield if he ever wanted to wake up Castiel for breakfast.

"No, let's make it bazooka," he had said after a little thinking.

Cas didn't understand why would Dean want a firearm to wake him up and doubted if it was even possible to get one in Heaven.

One thing Castiel was really pleased with was that Dean kept making sure that he still existed. It wasn't like Dean would yell from the other side of the house or the yard 'Cas, you still existing', but it could've been. It was little touches, a hand on a shoulder, sitting maybe little too closely while watching TV, things Castiel used to do before, but didn't do anymore because he wasn't sure if he was allowed to.

Dean had said friends and what Castiel knew about friends, they usually didn't touch each other just because they felt like it. Often Castiel had been reminded about personal space, but he always forgot it and eventually Dean had stopped caring. Cas being Cas, that's all there was.

Cas didn't even see the issue, so he let Dean touch him even if it was just to check that he wouldn't disappear any given second.

Once Cas had tried to put his hand on Dean's shoulder, but the man had flinched away without even realizing he was doing so.

Cas didn't know why Dean would do that but he gave him time and space even though those were the last things he wanted to give to him. He wanted to give him joy, pleasure, comfort, warmth, anything that'd make him feel better and more comfortable around Castiel.

If Dean would just be open to receive.

Castiel was reading a book in the living room when he heard a sound outside. He recognized it and knew Dean was preparing to spend time with the love of his life. Cas peeked out of the window and saw how Dean drove the Impala out of the garage. The man had mentioned something about the car being in need of maintenance after the long winter and it was most likely that Dean wouldn't come inside until it was too dark to work.

He didn't even consider offering his help to Dean. He knew Dean would just shoo him away, because the Impala was his baby. None was to touch her except him.

Castiel was rather amazed Dean's affection with the car. It made him a little jealous, even if he didn't want to admit it. Dean was more comfortable around his car than with him even though they did spend more time together than they used to, talked more and played cards. Dean even taught Cas how to cheat, and now their games are more of a contest to see which one can cheat the most without the other noticing. Castiel's game face was something Dean could not read, not in thousand years and if Cas wasn't so honest he would win every time.

"That's the whole point, Cas! It doesn't matter if it feels wrong, you just gotta do it," Dean had said when Castiel had insisted to play fair.

"But I don't' want to cheat you, Dean," the man had answered and Dean had laughed.

"Dude, you must the most honest guy I've ever met." Castiel liked when he could make Dean smile or laugh, even though he wasn't sure, how did he actually do it. He had asked about the matter from Dean and the man had grinned and said that he needn't to do anything.

"Just be you," Dean had patted Cas' shoulder and he hadn't been able to tell if it was affection or just to check if he was still there.

Cas looked how Dean's upper body disappeared under the car, leaving only the legs to be seen.

Soon he forgot the book he was reading.

It was rather hard to concentrate to fix your car, when you could feel someone staring at you. Believe Dean, because he, if anyone, knew.

He could sense Cas' presence at the living room, sitting on the sofa where was the perfect view to the garage. Dean had often sat there looking at it and hoping he could just drive the Impala out of it and leave. For good. That was when Castiel hadn't been around. Maybe he had hoped that, if he left he'd have a chance to find Cas, or maybe he just wished he could escape the empty feeling deep within him. Sometimes Dean couldn't tell the difference between those feelings and he ended up lying hours on the sofa, feeling miserable about everything and wishing a chance to run away.

He did not wish any of that anymore. Now that their Heaven was 'whole', Dean finally had started to understand the meaning of Heaven. He couldn't even put it in proper words, he just felt… good. Well, of course there were some things which made him annoyed, mostly practically being a prisoner, but other than that, most of the whining was done only because it was fun. With that Dean discovered that Castiel didn't like Valentine's either, except for different reasons. Dean only enjoyed Valentine's because it was a good chance to get easy sex, but hated it because that's when people usually asked if he had a girlfriend/wife/whatsoever. Sometimes Sam would answer for him: "He has the Impala," and that was good enough for Dean.

Cas had told, that he didn't enjoy Valentine's because his friends had always tried to hook him up for someone before the big day. Those usually hadn't end well and there would be a red hand print on Cas' cheek at the following morning. He just didn't show enough interest in the ladies and that usually offended them. Cas never understood why.

Dean remembered, how he had asked if Castiel had ever dated anyone. The man had told about a girl named Meg. They had dated about a year at college and according to Cas, he had been emotionally very unstable back then and Meg had helped and looked after him. Dean could hear from his voice that he still thought fondly of her, and he couldn't help but feeling a little jealous. He tried to figure out why, Cas and Meg had been together only a year, and that had happened over fifty years ago. Why feel jealousy over something like that?

If Dean had ever had a problem at figuring out his thoughts and feelings, it was now. He was conflicted between their agreement to take it slow and his need to show Castiel how much he really wanted to rip the guy's clothes off and kiss him to next week.

He often thought about the time when they had first slept together. It was still something he liked to remember when he was alone in his room, and was sure Cas couldn't hear him.

Sometimes he regretted that he had asked Castiel that they'd take it slow, but he was afraid of his amazing skills to ruin everything when given enough time.

He didn't want to ruin this. Not with his goddamn soul mate.

Dean came back inside only after it was way too dark to work. Castiel was more than happy to comment Dean's dirty and oil stained appearance, and Dean was more than happy to mess Cas' hair with his oily hand.

Cas warned that now he might have to join Dean to the shower, and for a moment, he could swore Dean was considering giving his consent to that.

In the end, he said nothing, only grinned and went to upstairs.

Maybe it was still too early to hope that Dean could take his head out of his ass.

"You know what we should do," Dean said when Cas was coming back downstairs hair all wet from the shower. Cas could name at least hundred different things they could do, but he decided not to mention any of them. Instead he let out a questioning sound and Dean showed him a DVD box and a bottle of whiskey.

"Dr Sexy M.D drinking game," he announced and Cas tilted his head.

"Hey, it's about time to educate you with popular culture! Over 40 years in Heaven, you've missed a butt load of good TV-shows and movies, and we gotta fix that."

Dean was right with that, Cas hadn't bothered to watch TV much in Heaven, but he didn't knew it was a problem.

"Why alcohol?" Cas asked and pointed the bottle.

"Just to make things interesting."

It really did make things more interesting. Dean explained the rules and they were very simple. Every time something specific happened you had to drink a shot. For example every time people referred each other's as 'doctors' or when people had sex or when there was unnecessary drama or when Dr Sexy looked sexy (Dean took a shot every time they showed Dr Sexy).

Dean soon noticed that Cas really could hold his liqueur.

After three episodes Dean couldn't tell one finger from two, meanwhile Cas said 'he started to feel something.'

"Dude, that's inhuman", Dean said and Castiel shrugged.

"Well, I used to be an angel," he replied and that was enough of an explanation to Dean.

They continued watching, even after they had decided that Castiel had indeed won the drinking game. Dean enjoyed talking about the series and explaining things to Cas, and he enjoyed listening because it made Dean 100 per cent more beautiful, when he talked about something so passionately.

Dean didn't notice when Cas started to lean against him or when he put his arm had behind Cas' neck. He also failed notice when Cas started to fall asleep against his chest, and so he completely ignored the fact that this was not how two guys should sit on a sofa.

Maybe it was because Dean was too drunk to care that there went their friendship boundaries and just slowly fell asleep as Dr Sexy M.D's last episodes played.

It was good like that.

/Sorry that it took so long with this chapter. I've been busy with the pre-assigments for school and with many other things. I haven't proof read this, so there must be a tons of mistakes, typos, etc. I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.