Sorry on late update I've been away this weekend! Some of you want Emison like now (and I understand that seriously), other people want a few more chapters of tension so it's pretty hard to balance everything because I do try and take everything you guys say on board. Decided to kind of meet in the middle, plus nothing is going to be plain sailing for them lets be honest. Also, how far do you want me to show Emily and Jessica's relationship ie how far they went? I'm wary of you not enjoying it because Emily would be with her and not Alison (it'll all be flashbacks obviously). If you wish leave me a review it's very appreciated!

Jessica has her on a drip now because she can't keep down whatever pills it is that Jessica is giving her anymore. They always come back up and it usually leads to major nosebleeds. She can't remember the last time Jessica left her side, she just sits next to her holding a wet cloth to Emily's face in an attempt to cool her down or to catch the extra saliva when she coughs.

Emily can hear her voice and smell her, she smells like vanilla, but that's it. There's little to no sensation anywhere else anymore. There's no taste and her vision has narrowed to shadowy blurs. Emily is aware when Jessica touches her, her fingers softly brushing Emily's hand and forearm.

Jessica holds her head against Emily's cheek while Emily jerks violently against her, screaming as all the pain and fear drives out her body. The effort is exhausting and soon the screams turn into tears and fruitless retching. When her breathing returns to normal, Jessica looks up, and slowly begins to wipe the tears from Emily's face.

"I think it's time now Emily," she says as she holds something up and Emily can see the faint outline of a hypodermic and relief washes over her because it's finally over. Jessica leans over and caresses Emily's cheek with her palm. "Don't worry sweetheart, I won't leave your side."

Emily believes her.

Emily watches as best she can through blurry vision as Jessica injects something into her drip tube. Emily doesn't think about Paige or Hanna or Spencer or Toby or her own parents. She just can't. So she just concentrates on Jessica because that's all there is now. Jessica's her only thread to this world. A thread that's hanging on by the skin of it's teeth.

Emily stood at her apartment window, hands in her jeans pockets, watching as a fine mist of rain fell outside. It was nearly eleven and she wasn't tired. She hadn't even gotten out of her work clothes from earlier in the day, the same work she'd have to be awake for in less than seven hours. Her phone buzzed harshly on the old coffee table. She ignored it – again.

Alison was like a dog with a bone. She'd stayed over three nights ago and Emily had tried to keep her distance since then. She couldn't get involved with Alison, it was wrong on every level. Not for her but for Alison. She wouldn't be good for Alison and she didn't want to drag the blonde down the path of destruction she had followed in the past twelve months.

Emily was still standing at the window, studying the night, wondering when Alison would give up for the night, when the doorbell rang. She still didn't feel tired. She looked, she thought, worse than normal. She half expected to find a reporter at her door, the other half wondered if Alison would be brazen enough to come over. But in her heart she knew it would be neither of them. It would be Hanna. After the text she'd send the blonde earlier in the evening, she knew it would be her.

"You're an idiot," Hanna said when she opened the apartment door. She was dressed for bed. A grey hoodie pulled over her grey sweatpants, an old pair of Converse covered her feet. Emily only ever saw her in that attire when she was staying over, which wasn't often anymore, but it looked like she had a visitor for the evening. She didn't mind.

"Please do come in, Han," Emily replied.

Hanna moved towards her, pausing a few feet inside to look around. Even Hanna hadn't spent much time at Emily's apartment and Emily could see her eyes wander around at the sparsely decorated area. Hanna tried to act as if the sad little apartment didn't bother her but Emily knew it did. Hanna had the same look on her face every time she came over.

"Are you okay?" Hanna asked as she placed her purse onto the back of the leather couch.

Emily didn't really know how to answer the question, so she avoided it. "Do you want coffee or something?"

Hanna let her hands drop dramatically to her side. "Em." She peeled her hoodie off and sat it on the back of the couch next to her purse. Then she walked around to the front of the sofa and sat down. "Come and sit down with me."

Emily sank down into the couch beside her and put her head in her hands. She hadn't told anyone because she was afraid to say it out loud. Because if she said it out loud it would mean that it was real and she was unsure what to make of that. "I'm going to stop seeing her."

"Alison?" Hanna questioned, she was the only person Emily had told about Alison staying over with her.

"No, well maybe. I don't know but I originally meant Jessica."

Hanna's hand found her back and when she peeked around at the blonde she had her eyes closed. When she opened them they were glassy with unshed tears. Like Emily had just told her the best news in the world.

"Thank God, Em," she replied before she kicked off her Converse and curled her legs up onto Emily's couch.

"I know you don't understand but it's getting nearer to Sunday and I don't know what to do. Alison keeps texting me and calling me and I keep ignoring it. I know it's wrong but it's easier that way. For her."

Rain pounded against the apartment window. It was torrential now, not the fine mist that had been there when Hanna arrived. Her pillbox rested on the coffee table, the ironic thing was that it had been a gift from Hanna when she had been released from the hospital. She'd been taking so many that Hanna thought it would be safer to keep them altogether so she wouldn't get confused.

"I think you're hurting Alison. Maybe not intentionally but that's how it will feel to her. And it's not fair." Emily nodded in agreement, Hanna was right. Alison didn't deserve it and that's why she couldn't be with the blonde. "I couldn't believe it when you text me about woman trouble. It has been a long time," Hanna added.

Emily leaned forward and picked up the pillbox. She turned it over in her hand and flicked it open with her thumb and forefinger. It was empty for a change. It was a pretty little box, Emily liked it a lot and not just for it's usual contents. The kid from upstairs was awake, Emily could hear her run from the bedroom into the living room. She flinched lightly when Hanna pulled her closer.

Hanna sighed and pulled away slightly before she looked in Emily's direction. "What is it that makes it so hard to be close to us now? I think Alison likes you and I think you like her too, why don't you want that chance? A new chance at that."

Emily felt all the pain and guilt she kept so carefully subdued begin to hurt her chest. How could she even attempt to explain to Hanna? No one knew about her prior relationship with Jessica, absolutely no one. She'd been surprised when Jessica hadn't screamed it from the top of her lungs.

"It's complicated, Han."

It was something Jessica had taught her. Her instincts, while nearly spot on at crime scenes, could fail her when it came to human beings. It was why Emily had so few close people in her life anymore. She was never sure if someone was going to give her something and start carving into her again. Not that any part of her thought Alison would, but still, the thought nagged at her. If it happened once it could happen again.

"Sure it is complicated. But giving Jessica up has got to be the first step. Whether you want to admit it or not you need people to support you along the way. We are all here for you and I think if you gave her the chance, Alison would be too."

Emily nodded gently. "You say that but sometimes Toby looks at me as I am going to crack. He looks at me as if I'm going to do something stupid to myself and I know he wants to be there for me but it's like he doesn't know how to be."

Hanna touched the back of her neck. "Are you going to do something stupid?"

Emily considered it for a few seconds before she shook her head. "No."

The kid from the upstairs apartment began to run again. The footsteps echoed around Emily's apartment, she hardly even noticed it anymore. It was like part of the furnishings. Hanna glanced up at the ceiling as if it was about to fall in on them.

"What the hell is that noise? It's like the elephant parade up there."

Emily was tired, her eyes burned and her head felt like a dead weight. She leaned her head back and her eyes fluttered closed automatically. "The kid upstairs, I don't even notice it anymore."

She felt Hanna's arm hook around her own before the blonde's head settled on her shoulder. "We need to decorate this place seriously." Emily nodded her agreement without opening her eyes. "You can move on from this Em, I promise you that."

Emily was glad that her eyes were shut. They kept in the tears that she was sure would flow if she opened them. She wasn't sure she could move on, she wasn't sure at all. She wasn't sure if she could give up Jessica every Sunday but she'd try. And if she could eventually do it, she'd win and Jessica would lose. And maybe she could lead a half normal life. Maybe even with Alison. There was hope.

The thought kept a small smile on her face as she let her sore, tired body surrender to sleep. She felt her hand relax around the small pillbox. The last thing she was aware of was Hanna lifting it out her hand and putting it back on the table before she settled her head back against Emily's shoulder.

- x -

Rosewood's main park was pretty in autumn. The sky was barely visible behind the canopy of trees. The trees were covered by strokes of red and yellow, shining like copper and gold against the azure blue sky. A light breeze amused the leaves and the lake lapped gently against the edge of it's bank. Birds hummed contently and Alison sighed. It was all very lovely in autumn.

"You okay?" Donna Gomez asked.

Donna had been the crime beat reporter for the Herald for as long as anyone could remember. Alison still maintained the belief that Donna was an alcoholic. She didn't know if she'd started out an alcoholic or whether the job had something to do with it. There was a faint hint of alcohol between them as she stood.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Alison replied as she surveyed the park, it's mid morning crowd beginning to build slowly. Donna shot her a knowing glance. "Okay, maybe not fine. But I don't know what to do with Emily," Alison stated as she brought the press pass out of her purse.

She had to return it to the task force office this afternoon and she didn't know what to do since Emily had ignored her for days. She didn't want to admit it, but it stung slightly.

Donna sat her large frame down on the bench next to Alison, their bodies pressed side by side. "Well, talking is always a good place to start. I don't know what has gone on between you but it's not like you to be like this."

Alison had to agree. It was a very rare occurrence that she ever be lost for words. "I know." She relented. It's not as if she hadn't thought about it or called. She'd called and text Emily and had no reply from her.

Maybe her phone wasn't working properly, Alison thought to herself. No that self-explanation was too desperate. Emily just didn't want to talk to her and that was that.

"And if you tell her about how you feel, or your feelings," Donna hinted, hoping that Alison would see her train of thought and finish the sentence for her.

Alison hung her head in her hands. Was she really that obvious about Emily? Neither wonder she had scared the brunette away. First her Mom and now Donna. "Am I really that obvious?"

"No. But it's been a while since I've seen you like this so I just assumed."

Alison didn't know what to reply so she sat and watched as the world passed her by in the park. People without any cares in the world. Families. Children. Joggers. Singles. She thought Emily would like this park.

"She doesn't know what she's missing if she doesn't call you back." Donna's voice brought her out of her mini daydream. Alison shrugged pathetically in the other woman's direction. "Honestly, talk to her. You know me, I love to help all the miserable singles and I'm telling you to talk to her."

She was kidding about the helping part, of course. Helpful was not a word that came to mind when you thought of Donna Gomez. Combative? Yes. Arrogant? Yes. Great fucking writer? Absolutely. Almost everyone thought she was a shark. But for some reason, from that first day at the paper, Donna had looked out for her. Alison didn't know why. It didn't matter, Alison would always have Donna's back and barring a great drink or a great lead she knew Donna would have hers.

Alison looked around the park again before she glanced backwards. She couldn't see the task force offices from here but she knew it was only a ten minute walk. She had plenty time to go there, with her profile on Emily finished she didn't have a whole lot to do right now.

"Trust me kid, you march over there and you have it out with her. Women love that dominant thing." Alison raised her eyebrow in Donna's direction. "What? The seventies was a liberating time for everyone. I dipped my toes in both men and women. Probably should have stuck to women."

"Right," Alison agreed as she let the analogy go straight over her head. "I can go and talk to her."

"Trust me kid," Donna said. She picked a granola bar out of her purse before she opened it, a few of the oats pinged out from the packaging. "You can do this." She looked up at Alison and winked.

Alison thought her face flushed with pride. She nodded gently before she turned on her heels and waked in the direction of the task force offices. Her dress blew gently against the breeze.

She wasn't going to let Emily go that easily.

- x -

Emily entered the bathroom stall of the small coffee shop that sat nearby the task force offices. Her eyes caught two love hearts on the top right hand side of the door. There was no rapid pulse and her breathing was normal. Jessica wasn't out there anymore. She wasn't killing anymore and Emily wasn't afraid. Just last week she had been continuing her weekly ritual of seeing Jessica every Sunday. She'd put a stop to that now. This week. It would be her first Sunday in nearly forty eight weeks that she wouldn't see her. She laughed softly to herself.

Five minutes away, Alison pushed against the doors of the task force offices. There weren't as many people around but she recognised Spencer. She'd thanked the brunette a couple days previous for practically saving her life. She'd caught the connection to Paul MacKay. She watched as the brunette waved over at her from her desk. She stood elegantly and walked over towards Alison.

"Hi Alison," Spencer greeted her happily.

"Hey Spencer," Alison replied. "I wanted to give this pass back to Emily," she pulled the press pass from her purse before she let it hang in the air between them.

"Em is getting coffee, she should be back soon though if you want to wait around? You can sit with me at my tiny desk."

Alison didn't want an audience when she spoke to Emily but trust her to come over at the time when Emily was out getting coffee. She internally cursed her own bad luck.

"No, it's okay," Alison said as she sat the press pass in Spencer's hand. "Just tell Emily I handed this in and tell her to call me if she has time," she added before she turned and headed back towards the exit doors.

"I'm glad you're okay Alison," Spencer called.

Alison turned in the brunette's direction. "Me too," she answered, but as she turned back around she walked into whoever was coming into the task office building. She turned her head to aplogise to whoever she had just bumped into, her mouth went slack when she realised that it was Emily. The brunette looked down at her with startled eyes.

"Ali, I was going to – "

"But you didn't," Alison finished the sentence for her before she pushed her way past Emily and out into the open. Her earlier strong will had deserted her and she wanted a quick exit. She was surprised to feel Emily's fingers wrap around the top of her arm keeping her in place.

"I know and I'm sorry about that," Emily fidgeted with something in her pocket as she let Alison's arm go, she still hadn't made eye contact with the blonde. "I really was going to call you back today," she added truthfully.

Alison clocked that the thing in her pocket was probably the little box that had the pills in it. She was surprised when Emily produced a half empty bag of butter popcorn, she could smell it in the air between them now. The thought of it made her mouth water, even at this time of the morning.

A silence settled around them as they both looked between each other. Both of them wondering who was going to speak first, who was going to make the first move. It was Alison who bit the bullet first. Journalists always did, they never could hold anything in.

"I deserved a phone call at least."

Emily nodded sullenly. "I know and I want to apologise for that, but you have to know that this is strange for me. I haven't done this in a long time."

"I haven't done this at all," Alison replied quickly, her voice raised, "with a woman I mean. I haven't done this with a woman." She watched as Emily's eyes widened slightly. If she hadn't scared Emily off already she probably had now. Fucking fantastic Ali.

"Okay," Emily said quietly. "I guess we are kind of even then." She looked at Alison again. Fully this time, taking the whole length of the blonde in. God she was beautiful.

"Em," Toby interrupted as he popped his head around the door. "The mayor wants to see us for some reason. And he wants to see us pronto." Emily smiled in his direction as he retreated back inside and her attention dutifully fell back onto Alison.

She shrugged apologetically in Alison's direction. "I will call or text you when I am back from whatever this is," she motioned with her hand back towards the door. "And Ali, I really am sorry I didn't call you." She smiled before she put her hand back into her pocket. "Take my popcorn as a token of my apology, I can tell you want some."

Alison grinned to herself as Emily walked back into the old bank. Emily glanced back and smiled at Alison once as the blonde popped a piece of the butter popcorn into her mouth.

- x -

Alison wrapped a towel around her midsection as she exited her bathroom. She'd taken a bath and her blonde hair hung wet around her shoulders. She could still smell the butter popcorn on her, it was strangely reassuring. Emily had text her regularly though out the afternoon and she could tell that the brunette was sorry for not calling her. It made her feel guilty.

There was a reason Emily was the way that she was. The buck stopped with Jessica Jackson and Alison resented her for it. Emily deserved to be happy. She stared at the silver MacBook that sat on her bed, she had convinced Parker to allow her to write about a spate of petty burglaries, it was better than nothing. After her run in with Paul MacKay, Parker looked at her if she was about to break. She wrung her hair out and yawned.

The door to her room edged open and for a second Alison's breath caught in her throat until her Mom came into view. She was carrying a delicate cup of tea on a tray, it was all very fancy. It was all very DiLaurentis. Her Mom looked at her the way Parker did. The only person who hadn't, she noticed, was Emily. She wondered if it was because they had both experienced being taken by a maniac.

"I just wanted to bring you some tea, I'll sit it here," Her Mom said as she placed the tray onto Alison's desk. She turned before she looked down at Alison, who was still sitting on the bed. "Have you been eating popcorn?"

Alison had moved back into her childhood home with her parent's months ago. She couldn't afford anywhere else by herself but this was not how Alison described it to anyone who would listen to her. She explained to them that she was just staying with them. Staying being the important word. It suggested impermanence to the situation. She shook her head. Twenty six and still living at home.

"Yes, I had some earlier with Emily." Her Mom smiled fondly before she walked out of her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She had told herself over the past few days that she would get an apartment when she got recognition for her profile on Emily Fields. Parker had told her that there was positive views coming from it already. She hoped that it would lead to some sort of money windfall so she could actually get an apartment by herself. She could dream.

Alison dried herself quickly before she reached over to her desk for her tea. It was hot enough to drink, but not hot enough that it burned her taste buds. She'd done that a few times in a journalistic haste and it was never fun. She lay back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling but it soon became a blur and she surrendered to the darkness of sleep.

Alison was aware, she could hear the land line phone ringing downstairs. Her Mom or Dad almost never answered the phone, she didn't know why they still had one in the house. She rolled over to attempt to hear the conversation but after a few seconds she was lulled back to sleep. Her bed was too comfy and warm.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she felt her Mom's presence at her side. She mumbled incoherently as she tried to pull her duvet up and over her head. She could hear her Dad clattering about in the kitchen downstairs, she registered that it must be dinner time or just after it.

"I don't want any food just now," she said.

Her Mom pressed her hand gently onto her shoulder. It was something about the touch that made her know something wasn't right. It was too firm and too particular. She pulled herself up onto her elbows. Her Mom's face had furrowed. Something had happened to something. Alison's heart thudded in her chest.

"Jason?"

Her Mom reached out and smoothed a strand of blonde hair. "It's Emily, honey," she replied. "Her friend Spencer called, she told me she tried to get in touch with you but your phone was off." Alison glanced at her phone on her bed side table, the screen was black. It must have run out of battery.

"She told me to tell you not to worry, but Emily was at the hospital. Her and her partner got into some sort of car accident but it wasn't serious and she's going home. She just wanted to let you know. I think Emily's phone got broken or something so she couldn't call you herself."

Alison picked up her iPhone and pressed the home button. The screen remained black. She guessed that it was the first time she'd ever let her phone run out of battery, as a journalist it was unthinkable. Rookie mistake. She reached quickly for it before she hastily plugged it into her MacBook, the Apple logo flashed onto the screen.

"I'm going to see her," Alison stated simply as she manoeuvered out of bed. Her Mom moved, allowing her space to swing her legs out of her bed. She looked at her Mom as if telling her to get out of her room so she could change. Her Mom got the message as she nodded in Alison's direction.

"She's fine, Alison," she said as she hovered in Alison's bedroom door way.

"I know. She always is," Alison replied as she picked up the dress that she had worn earlier in the day. She grabbed her phone, it was at 4% and three iMessages from an unknown number popped up, she guessed they were from Spencer. She would have to charge it in her car.

She didn't even brush her hair before she picked her car keys up off her desk. It was just leaving seven thirty in the evening. She'd been asleep for nearly three hours. If the traffic wasn't bad she could be at Emily's apartment in less than thirty minutes.

"But I still want to see her."

- x -

Emily looked at the reflective panel on the elevator. Nothing about her was different. An elderly driver had driven into the back of Toby's car and as a caution they had both been taken to hospital to be checked over. Emily didn't have a scratch on her. Her phone had died in the hospital. She would call Alison when she charged it up, she was glad Spencer had called her. She didn't want the blonde to think she was ignoring her again.

When Emily got out of the elevator on her floor, she was surprised to see Alison sitting on the floor in front of her apartment door. She stood up when she saw her and gave Emily a little wave with her hand. Emily guessed that she had either just woken up or she had been crying, she wasn't wearing make up and her blonde hair was curled loosely around her shoulders. It didn't look as if it had been brushed.

Alison leaned her head against Emily's door as the brunette fumbled for her keys while she walked towards her.

"I need to sit or nap, I'm tired and so are you by the looks of it. I can just tell," Emily stated with a smile as she approached but when the brunette got to Alison she leaned her head against the door near the blonde's and ran her hand sheepishly through her hair.

"Are you okay?" Alison asked. Her eyes were glassy, filled with tears that were ready to drop. Emily could see her struggling not to blink. She was full of affection for the blonde. That's why Alison had come to her apartment. Alison was worried about her. Emily lifted her hand and gently touched Alison's cheek with her thumb.

"Yes."

Ali's eyes widened and then she blinked the tears from her eyes. Emily moved her hand from Alison's cheek into her blonde hair and pulled Alison towards her. Alison lifted her mouth to hers and she could feel the blonde's tears against her face, the warmth of her mouth, the warmth of her tongue.

Alison's hair was thick under her fingers and she moved an arm around to the small of Ali's back while Ali's arms reached around the back of her neck. She kissed the blonde gently but eagerly. It took a lot of self-control.

Her body was hungry for Alison and finally being there; tasting her, the smell of her fruity shampoo and the subtle hint of her skin, she had to consciously hold herself back. Emily didn't want to be rough with her. She didn't want it to be like anything that she'd ever had before.

But Alison seemed to have other ideas. She lifted herself up onto her toes, pushing her tongue deeper into Emily's mouth, she was dominant, her tongue circling Emily's. Her fingertips scratched the back of Emily's neck and then along the edges of her jaw.

Emily moved her hands down the blonde's body to her hips and backed her up against the wall, and then lifted her and pressed her body against Alison's, so that Alison was supported between her and the wall. Emily could feel Ali underneath her, the slightness of her, her hip bones, her dress scrunched up under Emily's hands, barely covering her. Emily's brain felt like it was buzzing, her hands were clumsy.

Her whole body was trembling. She kissed Alison deeper, willing herself to stay composed. Alison's hands glided along her cheeks pulling her closer and then she felt it properly. She wasn't the only one shaking; Alison was too. Emily let herself forget sometimes how vulnerable she was at times. She pulled her mouth from Alison's gently.

Alison looked at her, confused, cheeks flushed and lips still parted.

"I'm sorry," Emily mumbled.

"Why?"

Emily pressed her forehead against Alison's and tried to figure out a way to say it, how to explain to her. She took a deep breath and then lifted her eyes to look at Alison face to face. "Because I care about you."

Alison looked happy. She was glowing, even. She laid a hand on the front of Emily's chest. She could nearly feel Emily's heart beat surging against her chest. Emily could feel Alison's warm palm against her scar. It made her swallow.

"I know you do," Alison said gently.

"I can't do that right now, I'm not ready for that step. I'm sorry, I really am," Emily repeated as she looked down the hall away from Alison.

"Em, it's okay," Alison turned her face with her finger. "There's no rush. I'm not ready either but I'm not going anywhere. Even if you do ignore my calls again."

Emily smiled before she stepped back and pushed the key in the lock. "Do you want to come inside? You can stay for the night if you want...not like that obviously...but you know what I mean." Emily cringed inwardly at her stutter.

Alison nodded before she reached up to press her lips gently against Emily's. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt Emily respond gently. The brunette's hands gently gripped onto her hips. She pulled away before she looked up at the brunette through her blue eyes and long lashes.

"I'd like that, Em."