Usually I respond to your reviews up here, but I haven't this time because I know you are all eager to find out what is going on. See end of the chapter for responses.

As promised, here is where I reveal what is wrong with Spencer.

Sorta Fairytale

Chapter Ten – Now You Know

Ashley wandered into her darkened house, hours later than she had intended. The meeting with her production team had run very late and then there had been a massive crisis with one of her bands, a scandal that threatened to get leaked involving a singer and…well let's just leave it at escort, which she had to deal with. Hours of damage control later and all was good and sorted and she was finally home.

Ashley walked into the living room and immediately it hit her that something was very wrong. She had been thinking about her wife all day and her concern was now expressing itself as full blown terror as her instincts kicked into overdrive. As she walked hurriedly towards the stairs Ashley noticed a folded piece of paper with her name on it in her wife's familiar hand writing.

Opening the note Ashley felt the blood rush from her face to pool somewhere around her feet. She read the note quickly before dropping it on the floor and racing upstairs as fast as she could. It read,

I know you always check on the kids when you get home so I wanted to let you know that they are staying at my parent's tonight so don't worry when you can't find them.

S

Ashley instantly knew that Spencer had gotten some really bad news at her doctor's appointment. The only reason that Spencer would send the kids unexpectedly to her parents was if she felt unable to look after them or needed some time alone, and it took a lot to make Spencer feel unable to care for her children.

Ashley dropped her bag on to the floor and raced along the upstairs hall way into their bedroom. Which is where she found Spencer is lying in their bed staring unseeingly at the ceiling. It was obvious that she had been crying for hours. "Spence…" Ashley began only to be cut off.

"Well it's not good news Ash." Spencer muttered in an emotionless voice, keeping her eyes locked on the ceiling above her as her hands clenched into tight fists as she struggled to keep her composure.

"What did the doctor say Baby? What's going on?" Ashley asked as she moved to sit beside her wife's still form, feeling positively sick that she hadn't gotten home any earlier.

"I have cancer Ashley, Leukemia if you want to be exact. So now you know I guess," Spencer said in a dead voice, devoid of all emotion. Ashley began to cry, violent wracking sobs that shook her petite form. Ashley leaned over and tried to pull Spencer into her arms only to have her pull away.

"Spencer, Baby please…" Ashley murmured tearfully.

"What Ash? What do you want from me?! I'm holding onto my sanity but a fucking thread right now. I have been lying here for hours trying to make this fit in my head. This is too huge for me to cope with, too big for me to comprehend. I can't fucking deal with the fact that I might not survive this, that I might not get to grow old with you or watch my kids grow up. Ashley I might not survive this." Spencer snarled, moving into a sitting position and clenching her hands into fists so tight that her nails were almost drawing blood as they cut into her palm.

Ashley tried unsuccessfully to fight back her tears and whispered, "I'm so sorry my darling. Oh God!"

Spencer froze at the anguish in Ashley's voice and turned to face her wife as tears started to streak their way down her face, "I'm so scared Ashley," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"I know Baby, me too." Spencer began to sob and let Ashley pull her into her arms. Ashley cradled her wife against her chest and rocked her gently as their tears ran in rivers. She had this feeling that if she didn't hold her wife tight enough, if she didn't love her enough then she was going to slip away from her.

They held onto each other as if the other was a life raft and they were drowning in the ocean. Both women sobbed until exhaustion took them over and they fell asleep in each others arms.

Ashley awoke the next morning alone in their huge bed. She glanced at the clock and saw it was barely 5am, a good hour earlier than her wife usually got out of bed. Ashley pulled herself out from under the covers and padded across the room to the door. She was still in the clothes she'd worn yesterday.

Ashley didn't need to search, she knew exactly where to find Spencer. She stepped out their back door and crossed the deck to hop down onto the soft white sand of the beach. She saw a figure sitting in the sand, the tide washing over the seated woman as it rushed to the shore.

Ashley jogged the short distance to her wife's side, tears falling as she took in just how fragile and lost her beautiful wife was and how small she looked next to the expansive ocean. Spencer was staring out at the horizon, letting the cool water wash over her legs as though she wasn't even aware of it.

"Baby, what are you doing out here?" Ashley asked kneeling down beside her wife and laying a tender hand on her shoulder.

"To be honest I don't really know. I just needed to get some air, God I have no idea what I'm doing," Spencer murmured as she stared out at the water. Ashley sat down beside her on the damp sand and wrapped her wife up in her arms. Spencer leaned heavily against her and rested her head on Ashley's shoulder.

"It's ok Baby, it's going to be ok," Ashley murmured, kissing her wife on the crown of her head.

"You don't know that Ashley, you can't," Spencer muttered her eyes still locked on the horizon.

"You're right I can't know that, but I believe it. My Darling, you and I are going to live a long and crazy life together and nothing, not cancer, not anything is going to take that away from us. Our journey is not ending, Baby its still just beginning. I love you so much and we are going to get through this," Ashley said softly.

Spencer turned her face and buried in the crook of her wife's neck as her tears started to flow once again. Ashley held her closer and murmured soothing words into her silky hair. They sat like that for a long time until Spencer began to shiver, sitting in the cold ocean in boxer shorts and a tank top on an overcast morning will do that to you.

Ashley helped her to her feet and then led her inside and upstairs to their bathroom. Helping Spencer undress and get in the shower Ashley left to call her in-laws to check that the kids were alright to get to school.

Ashley dialed the number she had memorized back in high school and waited for someone to answer. "Hello?" Paula Carlin said as she picked up the phone.

"Hey Mom its Ashley, how are you?" Ashley said. It had taken about five years of marriage and countless orders from the Carlin matriarch for Ashley to call her Mom, now it felt totally natural.

"Hi Ash, we're ok, how's our girl?" Paula asked in a worried tone.

Ashley sighed, "She's not great. I think she's still in a bit of shock and to be honest so am I. I don't know how to help her through this Mom."

"Ashley all you can do is be there for her. Just show her how much we all know you love her, let her know that no matter what she will not be going through this alone. She will never admit it, that damn Carlin stubbornness, but she is really going to need you. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself too, this is going to be hard on you too," Paula said kindly.

"I promise Mom. Thank you." Ashley murmured.

"You're welcome Sweetie, and you know that all of us will help you in anyway we can. I've already been on the phone to Spencer's doctor and we have found the best oncologist in L.A. and we organized an appointment for her first thing next week so they talk about treatment options. She also has to go into the hospital this afternoon to have some more tests done. Can you take her?" Paula said in full doctor mode. Ashley felt truly blessed that her mother-in-law was a doctor and able to help them get the best possible care for her wife.

"Yes I'll take her, I'll call the office and tell them I'm not coming in. Mom do you think you could look after the kids for us and we'll pick them up tonight?" Ashley asked.

"Of course Sweetie, Arthur is just driving them to school now and Glen will pick them up when he collects Clay, I think he's also picking up Emma so we'll have them all here today," Paula said kindly.

"Thanks Mom, look I'd better go so I can call work. I'll see you tonight."

"Ok Sweetie. If you need anything at all call me. Love you," Paula said.

"Love you too, bye Mom." Ashley hung up the phone and quickly called the office. They were told in no uncertain terms that if they bothered Ashley that day they would all be trawling the classifieds and/or dead.

Once the call was made Ashley headed upstairs to find her wife. She found Spencer getting dressed for work in an almost robotic manner. "Spence, what are you doing? You can't go to work you have an appointment at the hospital this afternoon," Ashley said as she walked in.

"I know, I'm going to work and then I'll go to the doctors from there. I have too much to do for this movie to miss an entire day. You should be getting ready for work too Ash," Spencer said tiredly.

"Baby I'm not going to work, I'm coming with you to the doctors. I already called the office and I am not going in so don't even try to convince me to," Ashley said, preempting Spencer's inevitable attempt to make her go to work.

"Ash," Spencer said shaking her head.

"Don't 'Ash' me Spence, this is not open for discussion I am going to this appointment with you. Hell after all the blood tests and stuff you are not going to be able to drive home so you'll need me, plus I need to know what the doctor says. Spencer I need to be there," Ashley exclaimed, her brow furrowed with desperation.

Spencer nodded and sighed, "Ok, but I still need to go into work. The appointment isn't until 2.30 so I'll go to work and then meet you at the hospital."

"Or how about I drive you to work and then hang around while you do your thing and then we go to the hospital. I've got my laptop so I can do some work while you're at those auditions," Ashley suggested, not keen on being separated from her wife today, she had a feeling if she let Spencer make her own way to the hospital she wouldn't get there. Some crisis would come up, it inevitably did.

Spencer looked like she was going to argue but then just sighed in defeat, "Fine, but I have to leave in 20 minutes so you need to be ready."

"I'm on it Baby, I'll just jump in the shower and meet you downstairs," Ashley leaned in and gently kissed her wife on the lips before darting into the bathroom. Spencer let a small smile cross her lips as she watched Ashley walk away. She was lucky to have such a wonderful woman in her life, lucky that this wonderful woman loved her and wanted to be by her side during one of the most terrifying times of her life.

Twenty minutes later Ashley was driving them towards the New Line Cinema lot where Spencer was working. Spencer had her eyes closed and was leaning back against the smooth leather seat of her Lexus. "You ok my love?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah I'm alright, just tired and feeling kind of achy. Don't worry Baby, I'm ok," Spencer said with a reassuring smile.

Ashley reached over and took her hand and gave it a tender squeeze. Spencer smiled lovingly at her and stroked her knuckles with her thumb. After a fifteen minute drive they arrived at the lot and drove through to Spencer's designated car space. Spencer showed Ashley to her office and then headed down to the meeting room to meet her producers and Sophia Bush, who had already been cast and was attending the call back auditions that day so they could work on getting the chemistry right between the cast.

Spencer walked in and greeted everyone with a kiss on the cheek. "Ok let's get these auditions underway, like I told you yesterday I have to leave here at 2 at the latest today."

Everyone nodded and they got to work. After about four hours of auditions, they had narrowed down the main roles to two different actors per role. Sophia, Len and Kerry (the producers) and Spencer were now in Spencer's office discussing the actors.

"Ok Spencer I really think that Rachel McAdams was the best for this part, she just brought a vulnerability to that character that I think you need so you don't get lost in the cockiness and swagger that she displays," Sophia said as they looked down at the photos of the two actresses they had in mind to play Sophia's co-star.

"You know what I absolutely agree. You two had a real chemistry in that reading, I think it will work," Spencer agreed as the producers nodded enthusiastically. "Ok so that's settled, we cast her. Moving on…"

The next hour was spent making final casting decisions that would now go up to the studio heads for input. Spencer was certain they would be ecstatic with the choices so did not foresee any problems there.

They were just finishing up the meeting when Ashley knocked on the door and stuck her head in, "Sorry to interrupt, but we have an appointment we really need to get to Spence."

Spencer smiled at her wife and got to her feet to pull her fully into the room, "Len, Kerry this is my wife Ashley. Ashley this is Len and Kerry who are producing this movie. You've met Sophia of course."

Ashley shook hands with Len and Kerry and then kissed Sophia on the cheek, "nice to meet you both and lovely to see you again Sophia." They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Ashley dragged Spencer out to the car.

Settling into the soft leather car seat Spencer let out a deep breath, "I guess I have a date with some needles!"

Ashley smiled softly and grabbed her wife's hand. Both of them fell silent, trying to prepare themselves for the upcoming appointment.

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So now you know what is wrong with Spencer, many of you guessed cancer and were right, a few of you even guessed leukaemia.

Thank you all for reading it truly means more than I can say.

MrsMusgraveTNG – So as you already knew the outcome of this chapter my friend, what did you think?

somthgIlike2do – So was it what you thought it would be? I can promise you many more emotional updates…and maybe some hot and heavy ones (although those might be in one of my other fics)

2bz2breading – Thank you. It was important for Spencer to confide in Ash, I wrote Spencer to be very like me in that I often pull away from people when I'm scared or hurting to protect them and myself…not always the brightest thing to do but sometimes you can't help it

ilovemyself26 – You don't need to say it…but I kinda like that you did. Thanks heaps. You would be right, this story is already planned out but knowing me I will change my mind along the way

mutt009 – Yeah I figured I made you guys wait for long enough lol

grangergirl22 – Spencer is like me in that we tend to withdraw when scared and hurting. Its something I have always done. I can't wait to hear you thoughts on chapter 10

Coachkimm – hmm well I guess if you say not to kill her then I probably won't…or then again maybe I will. Hmm just a little something, there is a common theme among my fics and its called a happy ending. So I guess the question is will I conform to my usual style or will I break the pattern?

Palexobsessed – Thanks, I'm taking those tears as a compliment. I have a pretty good idea where this story is going…that's all I'm gonna say

LoveAsh87, slushhy, Shanemmac16, P.A.M4Life, FadeToLife, huggbuddy13 & 0A – Thank you for reviewing