CH 10: Favour

Ally Note: Warning: Jealousward likes to swear.

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter holidays. Some wonderful reviews from all of you and some great fan art beginning to appear for this story. Thankyou shackle_me, robrator and angelmarie1211. Check out the blog for links. (On my profile)

With special thanks to

Larin20 for her review on http(colon)//bfffersoffanfic(dot)com

5ctbauble for her review on http(colon)//ffanonymous-5ctbauble(dot)blogspot(dot)com

Kstew411 (411 and Bestie) for her review on http(colon)//robmyworld(dot)com/2010/03/30/these-fics-are-owning-me-ff-recs-by-kstew411

Team Guardian, you rock as always.

If Twilight was mine, I would have explained how Edward can *ahem* you know, rise to the occasion despite having no blood in his body ;)

EPOV

Fuck.

I fisted my hair, berating myself as I paced the room, watching the door she had left me through slam violently shut.

Damn.

If only I had fucking worked out she was a virgin.

There was no way I would have planned her first time like that. Jesus fucking Christ, what am I thinking? Planning her first time.

God I was in deep; much deeper than I thought. What the fuck was I thinking upstairs? I should have been comforting her, protecting her after a day like yesterday. Not mauling her and devouring every inch of her...inside and out.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

How the fuck did this get so messed up?

Bella was mine. She had always been mine. Even if I was realising it only now.

Letting her leave was one of the most difficult things I had ever done in my life. My emotions twisted at the thought of losing her again, reliving the fears of that night all those years ago. There was no earthly way I would lose her; to no one and no-fucking-body. I would never ever let that happen. And I sure as hell would never willingly walk away from her, no matter what she thought. No one else was going to fucking touch her …

How the hell I didn't chase after her, hauling back into this house and up those stairs, I'd never fucking know. Every fucking inch of me wanted to finish what we started...needed to finish. I craved the sight, sounds and smell of her.

So young. Too young really. But damn she was hard to resist.

I had spent four fucking long months in conflict, torturing myself with thoughts of her. Such a stunning woman; inside and out. Her blooming sensuality caught me by surprise; a beautiful soul always so connected to mine now luring me with a glorious body that no man could resist.

Looking back I could see that when I set eyes on her during my fleeting trip back from Chicago, it was one hell of a wakeup call. Gone was the coltish child-woman with big chocolate brown eyes, a mischievous sense of humour and sweet smile. There was no evidence of the thinnish straight up and down body, almost flat chest and gawkiness that were present just a year before. In their place, was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life - all grown up. Sexy. Confident. Adult.

Fuck if I wanted her. Well I didn't know I wanted her when I arrived at the club but my body sure as hell announced it within five minutes of seeing her naked back on the dance floor. And those gorgeous hips and backside swaying to the music, crying out for me to hold them, palm them and caress them. If I knew then the torment waiting for me over the upcoming months of separation, she would have been off that dance floor, in my car and in my bed within thirty minutes.

And I would have been buried deep inside of her.

Fuck this.

I was sick of it. I barely knew which way was up around her. There was no logic. My body ruled my brain, acting on its own when in her proximity. All I had done in the name of protecting and caring for her ended up hurting her anyway. Leading down a pathway that dead-ended in confusion and misunderstanding.

For both of us.

I needed to talk to her, to come clean. About everything.

But there was no way in hell I was letting another man have her. Not now. Not ever.

I needed to find her.

Now.

BPOV

My hands were shaking as I sped along the I-101 back into Forks. It had taken me a full ten minutes to calm down from the latest adrenalin charged encounter with Edward. My nerves were shot and even though my words might have sounded brave I was anything but. There was no need for soul searching; I knew I didn't want anyone else. I never had and I could not foresee a time when I did.

The tears running down my face increased in volume and intensity, making my vision blurry. Concern for my safety had me pulling over to the shoulder of the road, turning off the engine, and finally collapsing on the steering wheel to give vent to the emotions bubbling inside of me.

So many thoughts flitted through my brain; Edward being so tender and caring last night, consoling me about the threats at the house, promising me a compromise in regards to the merger and showering me with passion as the morning dawned. Until that brutal withdrawal. Why my sexual status was of importance to him had left me confused and frustrated. His physical and emotional whiplash was searing my confidence and heart with every strike.

Somehow I needed to find the strength and conviction to let him go, though the very thought of that sent physical pain streaking through me ending in a convulsion of tears which drenched my blouse and fogged the car windows, creating a cocoon-like effect. How long I wept was unmarked by time until a sharp knock on the driver seat window had me jumping out of my skin.

Startled out of my reverie and self pity, a little fear washed over me until I reminded myself it was the middle of the morning on a major highway. Tentatively wiping the foggy window, I cleared enough glass to see the form of Jake Black peering down at me with a fond smile on his face. As relief quickened through me; I beamed back, releasing my seatbelt and rolling down the window. A little embarrassment flushed my face as I recalled that in all the angst of the emotional showdown with Edward, I had entirely forgotten the death threat or Jake's request to make my way to the Forks police station this morning.

If I was being truthful, my mind prickled with unease at the thought that anyone could seriously mean the cruel words splashed all over the elegant drawing room at my parents' home. I coped by pushing the malicious and vindictive words to the darkest recesses of my mind, desperately hoping that the sun would not shine in that corner, and all grief resurfacing at the death of my parents would slowly sink beneath the conscious line.

"Hey Bells." His familiarity still unnerved me but I put that to one side to greet him.

"Hi Jake. Is Seth with you?" Craning my neck, I searched the police vehicle parked behind me only to come up empty.

"Err, no Bells." A bashful smile came over his face. "I was out getting us a bit of breakfast from Laurent's bakery when I got a call from Leah saying you were heading out of town. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss you."

"Leah?" I was a little puzzled as to whom he meant. Who was Leah? And how did she know my whereabouts this morning?

"Sorry Bells. Leah is Mrs. Clearwater's daughter." Jake stated as if it explained everything. But the name still failed to register. Seeing the still confused expression on my face, he laughed. "Sue, the Cullens' housekeeper. She got a call from the house to say you had left and could she come back to shut the place up until summer."

"Oh." My stomach suddenly lurched at the thought of Edward calling Mrs. Clearwater. If he had done so, he would be on his way back to Seattle, following not far behind me. The thought of having to deal with him so soon entirely shattered what remained of my nerves. At least if he caught up with me I was here with Jake, which offered a small modicum of comfort; safety in numbers and all that.

"Oh Jake. I am so sorry." I shook my head in apology. "It completely slipped my mind that I needed to head into the police station today."

An almost astonished look plastered Jake's face. I knew what he wasn't saying. How the hell could anyone forget a death threat?

If only he knew, I mused internally to myself. "Would you like me to follow you now?" I trailed off apologetically.

"Aw Bells." Jake purred, leaning one hand against the driver's side door, to move his face closer. "There is no need for that. Why don't you just step out of the car and I can ask you a couple of quick questions."

I was a little taken aback at his request but pleased as to his willingness to accommodate me.

"Okay. No problem. If that works for you that would be great." I offered a grateful smile. "I really would love to get back to Seattle before this weather breaks."

"Sure thing, Bells." Jake paced backwards as I pushed the door open, cautiously stepping out onto the highway.

"Fire away, Jake." I rubbed my hands together in their leather gloves, desperately trying to keep them warm.

"Alright. Well I had a quick think last night and talked it over this morning with Seth and my dad." I nodded in appreciation at his dedication to the job. "We definitely think that whoever wrote those words knew you were coming to Forks yesterday. So rack your brain. Who knew?"

The question caught me off guard as horror at the very idea swelled through me. My eyes flashed wide with shock even as my head dropped in denial. "No…no...It can't be." Nausea sat in my stomach like lead, weighing me down with its presence.

"Bells! Come on. You need to tell me." Sensing my distress he urged an answer. "I am not saying that they were responsible but we have to start there."

"Oh." A little sigh of relief bubbled to the surface. "Okay." I hesitated for a final moment before answering. "Well the only person I spoke to was Alice. Alice Cullen."

"Yes?" Jake pounced on the name, pulling out a small spiral notepad and furiously scrawling hand written notes."Anyone else? Anybody?" He asked without even looking up.

"Umm. Edward. Edward Cullen, Alice's brother." I nervously relayed a little self conscious as to my next words. "He...um he arrived here last night. I guess Alice must have told him." I suddenly recollected the conversation in my car on the road up to Forks just yesterday. "And of course my lawyer, Demetri Volturi."

Jake's brows shot the top his hairline. "Your lawyer?" A chuckle followed. "Man, you rich Cullen kids, you have everything don't you?"

For some reason, Jakes word stung, resulting in a frosty retort. "I am not a Cullen, Jake. I am a Swan. The Cullens are my guardian, that's all!" The defensive tone of my melodramatics must have signalled a raw nerve, as Jake appeared to take great care with his next sentence.

"Sorry Bells." He soothed. "No offense intended."

I heaved a sigh. Of course he didn't. I had overreacted, the showdown with Edward still fresh in my mind. "That's okay Jake. I tend to be a little oversensitive about it." Tears started to form in my eyes as I purged myself of the truth tormenting me. "It's just that's it: the house, the firm and my name. That's all I have left of Charlie and Renee."

"Oh Bells. I am sorry." Jake enveloped me in fleeting bear hug, the warmth emanating from his large form, hinting at comfort. I hung on tight, soaking in the unexpected relief, finding that being hugged by a virtual stranger was not as awkward as I anticipated. After a few moments, he leisurely pulled away to hold me at arm's length. "Hey, I have one more question for you? Are you..." His voice trailed off as his head shot up to take in the sound of an approaching vehicle on the road.

I swung around to see the latest model grey, gun metal Maserati that Edward drove pull up behind our vehicles. Before I could even register the multitude of emotions that swam through me, he was out of the car in a flash, calling as he approached. His face thundered a black scowl as he moved swiftly to my side.

Nodding tersely at Jake, whom he obviously recognised from summers surfing at La Push beach, he came to a halt inches away from where we stood. "Black."

"Cullen." The greeting, while not overly friendly held little hostility; just two men much the same age with a long history of friendly sporting competitions.

Without a further word, Edward yanked my weight from Jake's loose hold, swinging me around to face him, gripping my forearms with his hands to hold me in place. Imprisoned to his satisfaction he began firing questions. "Bella? What the fuck?" Scanning my body up and down impatiently, as if seeking a sign of injury, he growled. "Did something happen, baby? Why are you pulled over? Are you okay? Hurt?"

The concern riddled in his face prevented me from launching into nuclear meltdown at the pure nerve of him. In all honestly if I could have slapped his handsome face at the belligerent possessiveness and complete dismissal of my request to keep his hands off me, I would have. But mindful of the presence of company, I restrained myself. After all, Esme would be absolutely appalled if I made a scene in front of anyone let alone a law enforcement officer making inquiries as to whom might want me dead!

Instead I schooled my riotous thoughts, settling for a muted plea for release. "Edward, please." I peeped at Jake, noiselessly petitioning for assistance. To my chagrin he merely smiled broadly and nodded his head in approval.

With no hope of winning the war, I stayed my restlessness, hoping a measured answer would calm him. "I'm fine. I promise." It came out as a soft whisper, an almost seductive tease in response to the worry locked in his green eyes as he stared intently, his focus entirely on me. I could see panic unfurling even as he did his best to hide it beneath a gruff exterior.

"Jake just stopped me to ask a few questions about last night." I glanced at Jake once more, seeking confirmation of my words, hoping Edward would follow my line of sight. "In fact, I think he had only one more question and then I was going to head back to Seattle. Isn't that right, Jake?"

"Err. Yes." Jake chortled, possibly at the protectiveness that Edward displayed, sharing my amusement at the complete overreaction. "Bells...but before we do, are you happy to proceed with Cullen here?" It was evident that Jake was providing an opportunity for private discussion but the involuntary tightening of my hands in Edward's coat hinted that I needed him here for the difficult questions to come.

"Black." Edward growled

"Damn it Cullen, you know I have to ask!" Jake fired back, in no way intimidated by Edward's presence.

Eager to prevent further escalation of tension, mostly between Edward and myself, I indicated my assent to the questioning.

"Alright then Bells, if it is okay with you, I just need to know one more thing." Sweeping over both of us with a hawk-like gaze, he probed. "You see, last night I went through the evidence of your parents' murder…."

I gasped for air as the words spoken aloud knifed me with searing pain. The dull thud of acceptance buried deep inside of me in regards to my parents' death flared brightly to the surface, transforming to blinding sorrow. Sensing my anguish, Edward gathered me closer to him, turning his body to shield me from the grief of the words and offering solace through his strong physical presence. Slow flames of heat coursed through me at his nearness even as I clung to his suit jacket, greedily accepting the reassurance, knowing that all too soon battle stations would be resumed.

Some tacit silent agreement between Jake and Edward was exchanged before further questioning ensued. "I'm sorry Bells. I need to ask…" He waited until I gestured my acceptance with a single nod.

"We think that the words on the wall may be linked back to your parents." He paused a moment letting the meaning sink in. "I combed through the evidence yesterday after we left you and everything seems in order. Well everything except for the fact that your father's brief case was missing. It has never been found."

I jerked my head up in astonishment. "What?" I was certainly surprised that this was the first time I was hearing of this fact.

"Yeah Bells, the only thing missing from the crime scene." Jake corrected himself rapidly as he recalled the distress he had inflicted with a poor choice of words just moments before. "Err... missing from your house was your father's brief case. We were wondering if you had any idea where it might be."

Jake very kindly paused, giving me a moment to absorb his request. "We think there might have been something he was working on when he died. If we could confirm all his possessions, we might have a good lead to who was responsible. May be whoever it was, is trying to scare you now. It is definitely a lead worth chasing."

I frowned, trying to recall a distant memory. A faint clang of a bell in the hidden recesses of my mind tolled some mention of Charlie's brief case. Even as I delved to pinpoint the details of the memory, an instinctive cautiousness stealed into my thoughts advising that it was perhaps wiser to keep all knowledge to myself.

"I don't think so." I hedged my bets, attempting to evade the whole truth. "But can I call you if I do?" I pressed hopefully in the appearance of co-operation.

Edward's grasp of me firmed as if he sensed I was holding back. In supporting my sentiments, his subtlety signalled what lay between us was much more than familial affection. "Black, I can promise you, if Bella and I discover anything in relation to Charlie's brief case, we'll let you know. Alright?"

Sensing a dismissal, Jake handed over an official card to Edward, completely bypassing me in the exchange. "Yup, that would be perfectly fine Cullen. Here's my card. All the numbers are on it."

My mouth fell open at the sheer outrageousness even as my mind spun at the absurdity of it all. It was, as if I didn't even exist. I seethed wordlessly, impatiently waiting to be alone with Edward. I no longer feared his presence but rather craved an opportunity to give him a piece of my mind.

"Great. We'll be seeing you." Dropping a fond gaze to me, Edward cajoled. "Come on Bella, time to get home."

Like an obedient child I relayed my farewells to Jake, watching as his car headed back into Forks. As soon as he was out of sight, I spun at Edward, raging my disgust. "Let. Go. Of. Me. You. Bastard." I pushed with all my strength to find myself being released, Edward's grip gently slackening.

A warning note fired through his voice. "Bella."

I was furious at his intentional disregard of my emotions. "How dare you!" By this time I was shrieking at him, my temper at boiling point, and an angry tantrum about to ensue if I didn't calm myself immediately. "Who gave you the God given right to manhandle me and take over a conversation that I was perfectly capable of having? Who? Huh? Who? Tell me?" I poked his chest repeatedly in time with my words, fury raging through every inch of my being.

A warning escaped Edward's mouth. "Bella. Don't be stupid." Anger edged into his tone, his whole demeanour poised for combat. "I have told you this before. And I am telling you again. Everything to do with you is my business. Mine."

The words resonated in my ears and swam hazily before my eyes. I could have stayed to fight the battle, despite knowing deep down that Edward was going to win the war, helped every step along the way by my traitorous body.

Recognising a lost cause, I retreated to Alice's Audi warily eyeing Edward from the corner of my eye in the event he pounced. Gathering a sense of dignity I composed myself, desperately hoping that dismissal was evident in the nuances of my voice. "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want Edward but I meant every word I said back at the house. Stay the fuck away from me."

A ferocious growl was my only answer. "And I meant what I said Bella. This." He shot back, anger darkening his countenance, his finger thrusting firmly at me only to turn to point at himself. "You. Me. This is not over. Not by a long shot." He strode back to his car, dominance screaming from every muscle in his body.

Swinging open the car door, he paused looking me straight in the eye. One last word was his.

"I'll see you at the house for Christmas tomorrow but for now, just get in the fucking car and follow me home."

The next morning I slept late, exhaustion commanding a lengthy twelve hour rest. The sounds of movement below and the familiar smells of Christmas encouraged me to laze in my bed and enjoy the peace before hoards of family arrived. As I had arrived last night, the housekeeper had kept a late lunch warming in the oven for me as instructed by Esme. As soon as I sat down to eat Esme appeared, flowers in hand, obviously mid- arrangement to spend a few minutes chatting, plying me with news from the Seattle social scene and poking questions as to my time at Dartmouth. Throughout the conversation I learned that Emmett had finally won over his Rose and to Esme's absolute delight, she was joining the family for Christmas lunch.

Rose was a cool, no-nonsense blonde that at first appearances was extremely intimidating. But the mere fact that she had made Emmett dance a merry tune before she allowed him to catch her filled me with admiration for her spitfire personality.

Jasper unfortunately was not joining us as he had returned home to Texas to spend Christmas on the ranch with family before scooting back to Seattle for the annual Cullen-Swan New Years Eve Ball. The ball remained a highlight on the Seattle social calendar, an event which he was on the pain of death by Alice if he missed it or if he turned up in a non-designer black tie suit.

This year was the official attendance of Rose and Emmett, Alice and Jasper as Cullen couples.

As usual I attended alone, slinking in a dark corner, obsessively watching Edward with whatever flavour of the season he had deigned to invite. My mind wandered to exactly what he had planned this year. All the encounters between us over the last months leaving me confused and dazed as to his true feelings for me.

I was sure he was attracted to me physically. I knew he cared deeply. Our connection in spirit was strong like it had been all our lives. But what he truly felt for me was a puzzle. The veracity of his exact emotions was veiled.

After another half an hour of lolling in bed, endlessly tormenting myself with scenes from the summer house, I finally emerged from my shower, to dress in a silver knee length shift dress that modestly covered my figure and provided sufficient winter insulation. Slipping on tights beneath knee high black boots, I placed a smattering of light makeup on my face and styled my hair to curl loosely in large waves over my shoulders.

A mix of excitement and trepidation zipped through me at seeing Edward again. At least we were on neutral territory, his family a sufficient barrier to mood swings and physical acts of possessiveness.

I rapped on Alice's door hollering my movements, as I traipsed downstairs to the library where the family gathered prior to important social occasions. Swinging the heavy wooden door open, I hovered at the entrance as it appeared that I was one of the first to arrive. However, the room was not empty.

Edward dressed in black dress pants, Italian shoes and cream cable knit sweater was seated in front of his father at the study desk, giving the appearance of casually sipping on a beer and indulging in aimless chatter as he waited for family. Neither one of them registered my presence as I lingered in the doorway. A thick tension hung in the air between them, the stiffness in Edward's body indicating something of great importance was being discussed - a matter that did not meet with his approval, if the rigidity held in his shoulders was any signal.

Before I could announce my arrival, Edward lunged forward in his chair, slamming his fist down on the table with force. "No way Father. Absolutely no way am I doing that." Ranting with fury he snarled. "Fuck. You have got to be kidding. There's no way you can make me do this, right? You know that? You must know if I had to choose, if you made me choose," His voice lowered as he threatened. "I'd always choose…"

"Bella! My child." Carlisle interrupted, spying me standing in the door way. "How lovely you look my dear. I hope we haven't been keeping you waiting?" The question was no doubt a subtle interrogation as to how much I had exactly heard.

My eyes dashed from Carlisle to Edward. He had risen to his feet and was now unhurriedly surveying my appearance, lingering on my waist and the swell of my breasts before homing in urgently to capture my eyes. The pure electricity that sparked through me as our gazes connected interfered with my ability to string a sentence together, let alone construct an intelligent reply to Carlisle.

After moments of pause, I made my way to Carlisle's side, gently kissing the cheek of my adoptive father. "Merry Christmas, Carlisle." Avoidance was the key as I was certain a matter of business had been the topic of discussion. My inability to determine the exact issue at hand plagued my thoughts as I turned to mutter a minimally polite greeting to Edward.

Not one to let opportunities slide by, Edward skulked towards me, wrapping an arm around my waist to assertively swoop closer in order to lean down and place a soft kiss on my cheek. A gentle salutation was whispered in my hair as the thumb of his hidden hand crept up to stroke the sensitive skin beneath my breast. "Merry Christmas, baby."

For one fleeting moment I melted, enjoying the powerful physique against which I was trapped before self-respect saw me liberating myself from his hold. Edward stared briefly, his green eyes flaring with a message so crystal clear, the same as the day before, a word I frantically desired to ignore.

Mine.

Stepping away I accepted a glass of champagne as idle chit chat was partaken until the noisy and dramatic entrance of Rose, Alice, and Emmett. A happy party, I counselled myself to ignore the latent flashes of heat that blazed through me at any casual touch or glance from Edward.

After half an hour of escalating noise and bickering as to the performance of football teams, Esme bustled in with a champagne glass in hand to request our presence for lunch. By this time, it was past three in the afternoon, the soft Christmas lights and darkening skies outside cocooning the house in Christmas spirit.

As we seated ourselves to eat, the relentless noise of the Cullen clan rang through the house. Voices raised and dipped as excited questions were posed and answered about the happenings in our lives. It was a happy family party but this year there was a slight undercurrent of tension. So many things were off the table for discussion; the firm, the threats at the house, but mostly the reason why Esme seemed so brittle, almost glassy eyed as she continued to drink her champagne.

Normally, I would be heartily engaged in wild discussion of music or politics, fashion or movies, soaking in the familial banter and bluster as we passed the food around but today two of us had little to say. Edward and I remained lost in our own world of memories until Esme's light hearted teasing brought my whole house of cards crashing down around me.

It was a conversation that was so innocent in its inception, yet so painful in its conclusion.

"It's so delightful to see my children settling down." Esme beamed. Her prayers for happily ever afters for her four children like a religious mantra, intoned at every festive occasion and family dinner. With every new boyfriend or girlfriend introduced, Esme's pronouncements of weddings and babies would follow. Fortunately, years of skilfully deflecting interrogations into love lives found us relaxed at the banter about to commence.

As Esme's eyes swept around the lavishly decorated Cullen Christmas table, she claimed a maternal pride in her ever growing family; Carlisle, Alice, Emmett at long last with his captured Rose, Edward and me.

A mischievous smile came over her face; a twinkling gaze resting adoringly on her eldest son. With a theatrical hesitation, full combat was initiated.

"Of course, while it is lovely to see my younger children so happy, I can barely wait until the day that my eldest, my first born, my heart's desire, Edward… yes Edward...you." She waggled her finger playfully as she continued. "Brings home someone special…very special."

While others looked on with merriment at Edward's discomfort, his alarmed eyes locked onto mine, intently communicating a message that I had yet to translate.

Every inch of my body screamed to look away, to run not walk away, violently breaking his hold on my heart which thundered so loudly in my breast, that I was sure its thumping beat was not lost on any of the festive revellers.

Time and space seemed to drown out the sounds of the family party around us. Edward and I lingered on each other only to be rudely awakened from our dream state as loud guffaws snapped the invisible chain winding between us.

"Yeah, Ed….ward." Emmett mouthed his name slowly, obviously having found something to chuckle heartily about. "Mother has spoken… when are you going to bring Tanya home so we can meet her?"

The words hovered in the air, giggles and laughter in accompaniment. However Edward remained quiet, no answer forthcoming as his eyes ensnared mine in silent beseechment.

In contrast, confusion crashed over me. Words were jumbled, scrambled, holding no meaning.

As the blood rushed to my face, instinctively I knew those words were no cause for humour.

For a brief moment, I thought or hoped I had misheard. Then understanding dawned.

Tanya? Did he mean Tanya Denali? Wait. What the hell did she have to do with Edward?

Edward and Tanya?

Tanya and Edward? I replayed those two names silently in slow motion in my head. This couldn't be what they meant. Could it?

No. No. No. No. No. A cold clamminess snaked over my skin and crept down my spine as I fought to push back the rising tide of confusion and nausea. Everything inside of me hungered to rise and scream at Edward, to shout my fears and frustrations, giving him one final opportunity to convince me I was wrong.

Swallowing the foul taste of betrayal down my throat, I peered around the dining table. Tears welled as I realised how truly alone I was. No one, nobody had thought to mention even once that Edward was in a relationship with Tanya Denali - that while he had been making love or hate with me, he had a commitment to another woman.

Looking everywhere but at Edward, I dropped my head ever so slightly, hoping the tears slipping from my eyes would go unnoticed. I had thought my feat was successful until a small hand gripped mine ferociously, squeezing tightly as if in consolation. I twisted to take in an anxious Alice; a frantic Alice who was attempting to impart a message with a negative shake of her head. Vibrating with tension, I snatched my hand from her grip, conveying my anger as I silently resumed consumption of the beautifully prepared meal.

There was no room for rage. The shock of discovering the truth absorbed every weeping pore of my skin, consuming all my energy and emotion. Rage could come later, sweetly followed by revenge. At the far reaches of my mind, a faint thought of what this meant for the merger slinked to the surface, to be filed away for a later time when I had the courage to face the consequences.

Around me, the noises and jokes of a typical Cullen family Christmas continued. The loud banter between Rose, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme satisfied any uncomfortable lapses in conversation.

Only three people remained outside the mainstream of conversation.

Alice, my best friend, somehow endeavouring to reach out to me even as she assessed the devastation her lapse in friendship had caused. Edward, never once removing his glance from me, concern lining his face as he took in my quivering form. And myself, slowly breaking into a million little pieces from which there was no recovery.

"Bella."

I ignored Edward's plea to meet his gaze as I continued calmly imbibing my champagne and chewing on the delicious turkey, falsely denying that it tasted like wet cardboard in my mouth.

"Bella." He urged more forcefully, the depth of his voice dropping as he saw my shoulders shake in silent misery. Once more I evaded his request, blocking out the sounds of his melodious voice by concentrating on the white swirls in the 1000 thread cotton napkins.

However his latest plea earned stares as the sound of Edward's angry voice floated above the dining table noise. Cullens of all shapes and sizes glanced back and forth between Edward and I, struggling to determine the true nature of the events unfolding.

"For fuck's sake, Bella. Enough!" He roared at my lack of response. "Look at me."

Without waiting for an answer, the sound of a chair scraping back registered as I was hauled to my feet by the elbow and dragged from the room. Stunned into submission, I frantically sought assistance, heaving a sigh of relief as I saw Carlisle spring to his feet.

"Edward!" His stern voice issued commands. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Bring Bella back here. Now!"

But once more, my best friend failed me. Alice jumped lightly to her feet, catching her father by the arm. "Dad, please. Let them be. They..." She stammered the next words, almost too nervous to utter them in front of her parents. "They need to discuss a few issues and we need to give them the privacy to do so."

Carlisle stared at his youngest child for an age. Having been wrapped around Alice's little finger since her birth, he gracefully conceded without a whimper, slowly sinking to his seat and picking up his utensils to complete his meal as if nothing had occurred.

"Stop. Edward. Please stop." My breaths came in short shallow pants as I dragged my boots, hoping to grab on to the carpet to slow Edward down as he half carried me through the house. Opening doors and slamming them violently shut as we passed through them, he mouthed not a solitary word in indication he had heard my pleas - not until we found ourselves on the balcony of the Queen Anne house that was blessed with magnificent views of the Seattle skyline.

I stumbled as he released me, reeling across the wide marble space to rest against a pillar in a dark corner. Gripping it as if it were a lifeline, I raised myself to my full height, turning my back on Edward to escape into the glorious sight of Seattle by dark. The sound of my heart hammering wildly in my chest was the only accompaniement to the city lights.

Gutted at the situation we found ourselves in, I had naught to say to him. Nothing to ask that could make this better, silence was the key.

"Talk to me Bella," His voice was low, the absence of anger replaced by an almost imploring tone.

No.

"Ask me Bella," Full blown anger emerged as his effortless words provoked a storm of emotions that swirled within me, desperate for answers. "Anything."

Yet still I remained frozen.

I hate you.

"So that's it. No questions? No reasons? Just everything is fine?" he sneered, taunting me with ridiculous emotions. "So it's all just hunky dory by you if, say, I had been seeing Tanya these last four months while touching and kissing you like that? All okay?" An acerbic smile accompanied his words.

You lying, double-cheating bastard.

The sheer ludicrousness and sarcasm of that last statement had me wallowing in agony. The emotions I had so vigilantly walled up through dinner now burst through the dam walls, causing rage and bitterness to flood my thoughts.

I could no longer restrain the sense of injustice and abuse streaming through me.

"So Edward, did you? Did you fuck her?" The ruthlessness of the words launched from my mouth astounded even me, clearly indicating the depths of my fury.

"No."

Liar. "Tell me, Edward." My patience was fast running out.

"No."

Cheat. "Tell me the truth, you bastard." I hurled the accusations at him, screaming at the top of my lungs. "That was why you wouldn't touch me, wasn't it?" My hysterical half truth allegations flew between us. "Because you were with her all along, all this time, weren't you?" I clung to the pillar in a death grip, knowing all too well, any small distance from it would see me collapsed to my knees, a broken shell of the youthful happy woman I had been but months before.

"Fuck, Bella." It was Edward's turn to yell. "I haven't waited around eighteen years until you were old enough to touch." He yanked at his hair in frustration. "I have fucked a lot of women but none in the last four months." His voice gentled as words whispered were dragged from him. "Not since that night in the den."

My eyes shot up to meet his, the faint sounds of truth ringing in my ears. Was he telling the truth?

"Then why?" I couldn't help the question. I needed to know and Edward instinctively recognised the question I was asking.

"Emmett?"

"Yes."

He walked towards me, perhaps instinctively recognising the worst of our discussion was behind us. Standing a hair breathe away, he closed his eyes before providing me with the response I needed.

"Bella, when I first moved to Chicago, Tanya was very kind." I grimaced at the expression Edward used but patiently awaited further explanation.

"She showed me the sights, the town. I reciprocated. I took her out a number of times." I gasped with pain at hearing those words from Edward's lips. "But you need to remember baby, it was before anything happened between us."

He clasped my hand to his in a gesture that sought understanding. "Carlisle got wind of the dates and decided we were a perfect match. He won't let it go…hence all the teasing."

"So you've never touched her?" I enquired hopefully, my heart resuming its beat.

"Baby, you need to remember this was before anything happened between us." He groaned knowing full well the potential damage from his honesty.

A sick feeling enveloped me. He had touched her. Exactly how much remained yet to be seen.

"Tell me Edward, please." I needed to know the facts before deciding whether we would have our happy ending. His history before me strangely becoming increasingly important with every second.

An unusual reluctance overcame Edward but he grudgingly provided my answer. "Did I sleep with her? No. Did I kiss her? Yes." He hurried his words, desperate to explain fully. "But it was only the once and it was before you Bella. I'm not interested. Not in her...not in any way."

But the words wounded, my heart accelerating with anxiety. The truth hurt and I needed time to think, to process this information further, to deal with the enduring emotions of betrayal and loneliness, again at the hands of the Cullen family.

Eventually I concluded that I had no choice but to stand on my own two feet - reliant on no man for love or money.

I collected my courage to ask one final request. The lifeless, flat tone of my voice relaying neither happiness nor distress.

"Please Edward, I need to be alone. I can't deal with this. Not now. Not with everything going on."

"Bella." His plaintive whisper hung between us even as I sensed the anguish coming off him in waves.

I dropped my head to my hands, not stirring until I heard the soft sounds of shoes departing.

I was alone. Just as I had requested.

Three days after my earth shattering exchange with Edward on the balcony of the Cullens' Queen Anne home, I was no closer to resolving my inner turmoil.

As I walked through the doors of Volturi Law I remained cautious as to the path I chose, conflict tearing me apart as to the potential consequences of a concealed action.

As promised, I had faxed all relevant papers to Demetri after his secretary Gianna had telephoned to request them. During the same telephone call, she coolly gave instructions as to how to find the offices and advised that Demetri had booked lunch for the two of us at Aria at the end of our business appointment.

As I pressed the elevator button for the twelfth floor, following the directions given, I seized a moment to compose myself. The business could not become a playground for petty personal games between Edward and me. It was crucial that a cool head dealt with the business side of our relationship. I required sound counsel of a reliable attorney and by all accounts, Demetri was an excellent lawyer; hard headed, with a strong sense of justice and a long history of killer instincts in the courtroom.

My nerves were already wound tight from my previous meeting with Edward and Carlisle over Cullen-Swan. Coupled with the emotional fallout from Christmas day, I greatly desired something to go my way, to be easy, comfortable and reassuring. Something that would not drain any life left within me. I was steeling my nerves in preparation for the upcoming boardroom face-off, all the while fervently praying I had not made a disastrous mistake in pursuing this path.

I had two days in which to plan, organise and prepare options. I needed to be ready for the biggest fight of my young life. I implicitly trusted Alice to keep her cards close to her chest and hoped Demetri Volturi was the right man to prevail upon as a worthy companion for the journey.

As I stepped out of the elevator, I entered the starkly presented offices of Volturi Law. Chrome, silver and white ruled every surface, giving the impression of a hospital clinic or professionalism at its minimalist best. A rather attractive icy blonde, dressed in what could pass as a 1940's outfit stood to greet me. "?"

"Yes?" I smiled warmly, extending my hand in greeting. After all, this could be the beginning of a long working relationship. "Gianna?"

To my amazement, my hand and smile were ignored. Without catching my eyes, a dismissive voice informed. "Mr. Volturi will see you now. Please go through." I wasn't easily intimidated but I had obviously unwittingly done something to offend her, so I calmly followed eager to make minimal waves.

As I walked through the silver door she held open for me, a large, maybe six-foot-three strapping dark haired man rose to his feet. Immaculately dressed in an expensive black wool suit, he prowled around the desk, blue eyes twinkling in a handsome face, their colour deepened by the matching sea blue of his shirt.

My heartbeat increased ever so slightly as he approached.

"Isabella Swan." A charming smile radiated, hints of mischief adding to his all too evident sex appeal. Reaching for my hand, he clasped it slowly, within his warm grasp, drawling "This is definitely my pleasure."

Ally Note:

o..0 Hello Demetri!

Dun Dun Dun… So Edward was never with Tanya….huh, you say…but? Dying to hear your thoughts…

Leave me and Jealousward some love…..

Quick Note about the Fandom Gives Back. I have agreed to do an outtake of Guardian in order to raise money for FGB. (at)aRedi has kindly organised a bid team -Guardian's Angels where any interested readers can donate any amount to the cause and receive a Guardian outake on auction win. More details on this later but if you require any information please email aRedi411 (at) gmail (dot) com to express an interest.

Cheers

Ally

Next update: 18 April