Fix Me
Someday
They'll take away the part that hurts
And let the rest remain
Fix me
Jenny
9/1/10
10:26 a.m.
I slowly and painfully climbed the stairs after Madam Pompfrey, and I nearly cried with relief when we reached a bathroom. I set down my mug of the poison concoction and held as still as I could almost completely naked as Madam Pompfrey healed bruises scrapes and cuts for almost ten minutes. Finally, she came around to do my face. The one on my jawline and the other scrapes and scratches weren't that hard for her, but the long scratch on my face gave her a new challenge. She spent two minutes slowly trailing her wand over the cut, and the feeling of the skin mending stung and smarted. "All done, dear." Madam Pompfrey pointed sternly to my drink, then swept out. I heard a shower start upstairs when she left; Lupin must be cleaning up too.
The warm water at first made my back hurt, but when the pounding water numbed it, I relished the warmth. The water was brown for the first minute as I viciously scrubbed off all the dirt on my body, then shaved. When I stepped out of the shower, I saw that all the clothes that I thought had been destroyed were mended and clean. Wondering how I ever survived without magic, even if I couldn't use it myself, I stepped into my clothing, and quickly chugged the tea, pulling a face as the aftertaste slowly faded. Once in the spare room that had become mine, I folded the jacket and put it in the tiny chest of drawers. "I see you survived." Kingsley said coolly from the doorway, but I finished folding the towel and placing it on the desk before I turned around. "But I'm sorry I missed you before hand, Arthur said you looked a fright."
"I managed to come back, just for you," I said dryly, but he raised his eyebrows at my voice.
"Howling at the moon much?" He asked, then chortled, making hot anger seep into me. If he only could know what it was like, especially for someone who hadn't been around magic for as long.
"That is what werewolves do, Kingsley." I said just as passively as before, and his face turned uglier, if that was possible.
"Well, maybe that experience will keep you from disobeying me again." He turned to go, and I almost kept in my retort, but I couldn't help but want to have the last word. If I wasn't so damn sore, I would smash him to a pulp.
"It wasn't as bad as you would think. I want to thank you actually, for helping me get over my fear. In fact," I added, thinking quickly ahead for Lupin, "I probably won't need the Wolfsbane Potion unless you insist." Kingsley looked at me a moment, trying to figure me out, but I looked at him with the same lifeless gaze he would get from now on.
"I'm glad to hear it. It looks like you know your place. Now that you've gotten your little monthly dilemma out of the way, we can assign you a mission." He smirked at me as he left, and only when he was gone did I punch the bed, silently cursing the day he was born. Yes, losing my mind frightened me to a point where I wanted to kill Greyback all over again, but I owed it to Lupin to have the luxury of the Wolfsbane Potion all to himself. "Oh, and by the way," Kingsley popped his head around the door. "The Ferret Boy upstairs would like a word with you." He left as my face turned confused. What the hell did he want?
Despite my stiffness, I was curious. I climbed the stairs slowly until I reached the top floor, where Tonks was, looking sad but brightened when she saw me. "How was it?" She asked casually, like we were talking about a concert.
"Different," I said carefully, and she sighed, obviously reacting to my voice.
"I already heard from Arthur how awful you looked, you don't have to lie." She said, and I sighed too.
"To be honest, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I lied to Kingsley and told him that it wasn't bad at all, so all the Wolfsbane Potions can go to Lupin." I said this in the same casual tone she had used before, but she looked horrified.
"Why? Why would you do that?" She hissed, stepping closer. "Kingsley is experienced and good at what he does, but he's got an evil, twisted heart. He'll try to use this against, you, you mark my words."
"I did it for exactly that reason, but more importantly, it will keep Lupin sane. He's smart, he'll give me space when I'm dangerous, and help me when I'm not. He deserves the potion." I said firmly, my voice dropping to a whisper and it cracked. Tonks looked at me, then started to smile.
"I would swear that you were an Auror if you weren't a Muggle. Thank you." She surprised me with a hug, and that's when I remembered that Tonks and Lupin were sort of…together.
"He'll be furious when he finds out though." I added thoughtfully, and Tonks shrugged. "Sorry to leave you all by your lonesome, but I've heard he wants a word." I looked pointedly at the door, and Tonks suddenly beckoned me over to the banister, the farthest from the door.
"Sorry, he can here us from where we were. But he would not stop asking about you, he bugged Madam Pompfrey, Mrs. Weasley, anyone who came into his room." Tonks whispered conspiratorially and looked at the innocent looking door. I frowned, but nodded to Tonks, and she let me in. Draco immediately looked up and stared at me when it became immediately apparent that I wasn't Mrs. Weasley or Madam Pompfrey.
"You wanted a word?" I asked, and he stared at me with wider eyes at the sound of my voice. When he didn't say anything, I sighed and stretched, wincing. "Look, I'm sore and tired; all I want to do is sleep right now. I climbed all the way up these goddamn steps. If you've got something to say, say it."
"It's my fault." He spoke like the last time he had spoken, so quiet and smooth, it was hard to tell if he actually said anything. "I feel so sick; I wanted to die when I heard you changing." He pressed on as my expression turned stony as he mentioned the transformation. "The only reason I was there that night is because it was punishment for not following the Dark Lord's orders. I'm sorry," he said earnestly, and he sounded desperate, like he had been storing this for awhile.
"You sound a lot like me," I said flatly, making the connection between Kingsley's punishment and mine. Draco looked confused, like he had expected me to beat him up again.
"That's it?" He sounded almost disgusted.
"Yes, Draco, as much as your intimate story of your hard little life was so touching, that's all I can offer you." I turned to go, but his voice stopped me.
"What's your name?" He asked, and I turned around.
"And, why would I tell that to you? So that when you get out you can go and give me up to your 'Dark Lord'? Sorry, Draco, but as much of a Muggle as I may be, I am smart."
"I didn't say you weren't, I honestly just want to be able to address you properly." He said earnestly again, standing up and slowly crossing the space between us. He stopped a few feet away from me, obviously being smart enough to keep his distance.
"How about 'Muggle'?" That seems to work well for most wizards, it should be just fine for you."
"Would you just try to work with me here?" He sounded frustrated.
"Work with you?" I asked, incredulous. "You really aren't in a position to negotiate here. I'll call you 'Dark Wizard', and you can call me a Muggle, and then it will be an honest way to address each other."
"But that's so degrading for you," Dark Wizard looked suddenly embarrassed at what he had said.
"Well, that is certainly out of character for you, Dark Wizard. Caring about Muggles? Shocking." I said sarcastically, turning to go.
"Will you come back?" He asked, sounding lonely and desperate, and I looked back at him over my shoulder. He looked furiously embarrassed again, so I decided to make him a deal.
"I'll come back after each mission, so you can try to get information off of me, Dark Wizard, because I know that's what you're after." I turned and left before he could say another word, and Tonks locked the door behind me. "He was seriously trying to get in my head; that was ridiculous." I yawned and nodded to Tonks who was still looking surprised at me, and I slowly made my way back down the stairs to my room, and gratefully crawled into bed to sleep.