A big thank you goes out to Reamhar & Zillanxio who have beta'ed this chapter for me. Again, I totally owe you! Any remaining errors or typos are all my own doing – as always.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

10. Monday Mornings

"Bella, wake up," Jas bellowed, his hands on my shoulders.

"Ugh, what's wrong Jas," I moaned, while I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I glanced in the direction of our window and noticed the weather was back to normal; rain splashed against the glass. "Are we late for school?" I sat up groggily, looking for clothes.

"No, it's pretty early," he laughed, "but you must have had some kind of dream or something. Your were… umm… talking… sort of. I'm gonna take a shower, okay? You can have the bathroom afterwards." I was wide-awake all of sudden. Shit, what stuff could I have possibly babbled on about in my unconscious state?

"Jas, wait!" I screeched, as Jas was about to exit our room. "What did I say?"

"Don't worry, I'm not telling!" he said, turning around to face me with a wicked smile on his face.

"What? What the fuck did I say Jas?" I threw my pillow at him, but the louse ducked and ran into the bathroom, leaving me sitting on my bed, hiding my face in my hands. Jas had mentioned to me before that I sometimes talked in my sleep, but he'd previously assured me that it was mostly just gibberish. For some reason, I had the growing suspicion that this morning it wasn't just gibberish that came out of my mouth. Even worse, I vaguely remembered my dream: the object of my obsession and I rolling around in the grass of a meadow. I could feel my face heating up as I remembered.

I collected some clothes and waited in front of the bathroom door for Jas to finish showering, ready to pounce on him to find out anything discriminating I may have uttered. If Rose found out about my nighttime musings, I'd be toast. She'd ridicule me to no end. I had to make certain Jas didn't spill anything. Fifteen minutes later the door of the bathroom unlocked and Jas strolled out without a shirt on and a towel wrapped around his waist. "So what did I say, Jas?" I demanded as I pushed him back with my hand into the bathroom. "Spill, now!"

"Jeez, Bella, I'm not going to tell anyone, okay, but you were mentioning a certain someone's name over and over again… And frankly, it was a bit too much, so I thought it was a good idea to wake you up."

My worst suspicions had been confirmed; I could feel the blood draining out of my face as I sat town on the closed toilet seat.

"Bella, really, who cares? You always talk in your sleep and you've never been this embarrassed. I'm not telling anyone, I swear, not even Alice and it's not a big deal anyway," he said, leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

I managed to calm myself down a little in the shower, but by the time we exited the front door to drive to school I was a complete nervous wreck again. I started envisioning my encounter with Edward; I'd probably turn red like a tomato the minute I'd see him.

********

Emmett apparently had no dignity left, because the fool showed up at our front door before we drove to school. Though miracles to apparently happen; I almost didn't believe my eyes when Rose walked over to Emmett, kissed him, got in his car and drove off to school with him. Jas and I stared for a while before shrugging our shoulders and driving to school in the truck. The fact that my nighttime chatter had confirmed my brother's hunch that I had a thing for Edward made me feel even more self-conscious about facing him. As if attempting to kiss him hadn't been bad enough…

The Mamas & The Papas were playing on the only radio station of this podunk town.

Monday Monday, can't trust that day,

Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way

Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be

I felt trapped all of a sudden, claustrophobic driving in our truck through the rain along the dirt road to hell. It seemed like everybody knew my deepest, darkest secrets and I couldn't hide or run away from anyone. Okay, maybe only my brother really knew and maybe my secret wasn't really all that dark. Hell, I just had a crush on a boy that half the girls in this town probably also had a crush on. No big deal, right?

I walked with Jas to English and tried to concentrate on class. Unfortunately we were discussing "Jane Eyre" and the name Edward kept on popping up. There was just no escape, and so I was almost happy to see Newton waiting for me outside of my classroom. The boy just couldn't be deterred; you had to give him that!

"Hey, Bella! How was your weekend?"

"Fine, I guess," I sighed. "And yours?" I tacked on to be polite, though my efforts would probably sooner or later bite me in the ass. He'd just get the wrong idea again.

"Great." And then he started babbling on about some football game while we walked to the next class. Briefly I thought I saw a head of bronze, tussled hair near my locker, but then Mike walked in front of me while he continued to ramble at me, and by the time I managed to look over Mike's shoulder, I didn't see him anymore. Must have been a figment of my imagination – apparently I was daydreaming now.

When I arrived at math, Jessica was already sitting at her table with a big, fat smile plastered on her face. With normal people I would have wondered what had her in such a tizzy, but she seemed to be permanently happy, so I didn't suspect anything, until she moved her chair closer to me, as I sat down. She leaned in close and conspiratorially whispered, "so I heard you went out with Edward Cullen on Saturday. How did that go?"

"What? I just went to the movies with him, his sister and my brother. No big deal." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to sound nonchalant. I contemplated briefly whether the information supplied would satisfy her, or whether she would be probing for more. One look at her face told me we weren't done with this conversation.

She promptly rambled on, "so are you two dating? I thought he just didn't date. I mean, Lauren asked him out once and he said he was too busy studying. Personally, I think she's still miffed about it. But then, the Cullens are kind of weird, you know? I guess the mother is okay, but his sister is crazy. She told my mother once it would be safer to postpone a long-planned trip to our grandmother's until the next weekend because the weather was going to be bad."

I shrugged my shoulders, scrunched my eyebrows together, looking at her. What was she getting at?

"So get this," she continued, "the bus going to my grandmother's town got into a terrible accident that weekend. My mother didn't go because my dad was sick that weekend, but imagine, half the passengers on that bus died - creepy, right? I still cannot believe you are dating him!" She said, almost clapping her hands with enthusiasm.

"Mmmh, yeah, about that, I hate to break it to you, but we're not dating," I answered blandly, my brain unable to process all the gossip she threw at me while being insulted all at the same time. What exactly was she suggesting with 'I can't believe you are dating him?'

"What? You guys went to the movies and he didn't kiss you? Or he did, but you are not really going out with him again?"

"It's none of your business, Jessica," I snapped, furious about her questions and sensing that I was unfortunately sporting a bright red glow on my cheeks.

"Maybe Lauren is right?" she puzzled, twirling her curls around her finger.

"What could Lauren possibly be right about?" I asked briskly, tired of the innuendo, its implications, and the questions.

"Well, Lauren does think that maybe he prefers, you know," she giggled, "boys. I mean you have to admit, Lauren is really attractive and he told her he wasn't interested in taking her to the movies. God, she practically threw herself at him. At any rate… You know the other stuff she says about the Cullens, but she's also been telling me he's weird and probably a homosexual." The last words were barely audible, as if she could catch cooties from saying them.

"So let me get this straight: Edward is gay because he doesn't want to go out with Lauren and his sister is a clairvoyant because she read the weather report? Unbelievable!" I rolled my eyes at her, but secretly I was confused. It hadn't crossed my mind that Edward might not be interested in me in that way, because I had a vagina.

Marcus, one of our neighbors in San Francisco, had been a 'flaming fag,' as Renee so lovingly put it, but other than that I had limited experience, you could say, with men who preferred other men. And Marcus was such an obvious case. I mean, he spoke in this high-pitched, affected nasal voice all the time and went out with feather boas around his neck at night. Some of his boyfriends, however, did seem pretty normal.

Could Lauren be right, or was this just one of those ridiculous mean rumors? If half the town called my mother a slut because she'd left my father, this might just be one of those stories cooked up by the people here to make themselves feel better. Or maybe they needed just something nasty to say about everybody. It's not like Renee had slept with half this town, or had done anything else that would have merited the comment from Emmett's father.

I was busy analyzing Edward's behavior to see whether I could come to any definite conclusion about his sexual preference; so he read a lot and was bit of a loner –did that say anything about him other than he was smart? Not really. There weren't any feminine traits about him that I'd come to associate with dear Marcus and his friends.

Lunch hour eventually crept around and I entered the cafeteria looking for at least one of my siblings, or even just Alice. I scanned the room and noticed that Jas and Alice were MIA.

I was still searching for Rose, when I heard a familiar voice behind me say, "Hey, what's going on, Bella? Do you want me to get you anything to eat?" I turned around, to find myself facing dimples and brown eyes.

"I got a sandwich, no worries," I responded, smiling up at Emmett. I figured if my sister could forgive him, so could I and followed him to a table. Unfortunately walking behind the giant Bear turned out to be a bit of a mistake because I couldn't really see who else was sitting at that table until it was too late. Apparently, I was having lunch with Rose, Emmett and Edward. "Hey," I whispered, feeling my blood pool in my cheeks.

"Hey," Edward murmured, but that's where our interaction ended. A second later he pulled out another book and starting reading, while Emmett and Rose flirted tirelessly the whole lunch period. Any hesitation Emmett might have had about my sister must have evaporated overnight. They even fed each other French fries. I winced as I ate my sandwich, darting glances in the direction of Edward, who just kept on reading his book. To say that the lunch break felt awkward didn't even cover it. Had I inadvertently developed a crush on someone who'd never in a million years be interested in me? Before the break was over, Edward packed his bag, got up, and before I could decide on what to do, he headed toward the exit. I took a quick look at Rose, who was just about to kiss the Bear straight on the nose, grabbed my bag and bolted in the direction of the cafeteria door, where I could still catch a glimpse of Edward.

"Edward, wait up!" I yelled, running in his direction, hoping that I wouldn't stumble and fall flat on my ass in front of the entire student body. He stopped walking and turned around.

"Hey," I said, almost out of breath as I reached him, "I thought we could walk to bio together."

"Fine," he answered curtly, as he started walking briskly down the hall, so that I had a hard time keeping up with him.

"So, did you guys watch the game yesterday?" I asked, walking faster to keep up with his pace. Do homosexuals watch sports? Marcus never did, but neither did my brother really.

"No." Before I could come up with a response to his short answers, a door in front of us opened up abruptly, and Jas and Alice came stumbling out of the small, dark space behind it.

"Edward, Bella, what's up?" Jas nodded in our direction, while Alice pulled her shirt down. I looked at the sign on the door my twin had just stumbled out of, before my eye darted to his disheveled hair, her un-tucked shirt and I felt sick. The sign read 'Janitor's Closet.'

"We're just heading over to bio. Later, Jas." I said to Jas and followed Edward, who'd already started walking at an incredibly fast pace again.

"Wait up! Why are you running? We're totally early for class," I finally said exasperated, hoping to at least slow him down. Instead, Edward stopped walking altogether. I walked around him to face him and he looked at the ceiling for a second before his head snapped back down and he glared at me.

"Look, Bella, we don't have to hang out because your brother is dating my sister, okay? I know I'm not going to win any popularity contest at this school and you don't have to feel obligated to hang out with me, or even go out with me." He sighed and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Ahemm, yeah, actually Edward, I totally wouldn't mind being friends and I'm definitely not interested in hanging out just because Jas and Alice decided to hook up. As for the popularity contest, I don't care. I mean, half these people say pretty shitty things about my mother, so it's not that they really like me either." I sighed. What I really wanna say, you idiot, is that I like you! Do you like me? I like you even if you prefer to kiss boys, but I might have a hard time accepting it. Before I could make a bigger ass out of myself, he gave me his crooked smile and my knees turned to Jell-O.

"I'm sorry. I was rude and I didn't really mean it. Friends?"

"Yeah, definitely," I said, relieved that we were okay, though his mood swings were starting to irritate me. On Saturday he was nice but today he assumed I only hung out with him because my brother was hanging out with Alice? What gives? Gay or not gay, something wasn't right with him.

"So you watched the super bowl game yesterday?" He asked, with a slight smile on his face.

"Actually, only parts of it, but I think it was the most football I've watched in my entire life. I mean, nobody in our family really ever watches sports, but Charlie does. He kind of seems to like it a lot, but apparently that's not a trait you can pass along to your kids by blood. And the other way– you know by exposure– well, I think it's too late for that now."

"I used to watch a lot of games when my Dad was at home more, but I haven't in a while." Edward responded.

"So, what do you do? I mean aside from studying and reading books and stuff?" I asked.

"Not much else. Sometimes I play the piano." We'd reached the classroom and sat down at our table. "Sometimes I go hiking with Emmett on the weekends," he continued.

"Yeah, Emmett said something about camping trips and hiking. He actually sort of invited us. Although, I'm not certain I should come along. I would probably just slow you guys down."

"No, we should totally go on a camping trip. I'll wait for you and we can pick an easy trail," he said. As I watched, I was surprised when his eyelashes fluttered and I detected and faint blush on his cheeks.

"If you like," he added hastily.

I wanted to just sit there, stare at him and talk to him.

"Okay, I'll come along, but I'm not so certain you'd ask me if you'd seen me in gym class." I answered.

He laughed, his eyes crinkled and his lips stretched over his teeth and I was so hooked. He couldn't be gay; no way, no how.

Class started two seconds later and I'd decided on ignoring the gossip. I was too far gone at this point anyway– I liked him. No way to resist this – whatever it was.

After class ended, Edward walked me to gym. I admit, I was grinning from ear to ear as we walked side by side. Who gives a shit what Lauren thinks!

************

After school, Jas and I met up with Jake at the hardware store to get additional supplies for our closet biology project. He also helped us set up the plant in the closet better to increase our chances of actually one day harvesting it. The afternoon was a complete contrast to my day at school: relaxing and easy-going. Jake fit in with us effortlessly; he never asked any weird questions about Renee or where we lived before Forks and he seemed to share our taste in music.

The only person that wasn't entirely enthralled with Jake was Rose. The two of them were bickering from the moment he entered our house and helped us with our plant. I guess she was kind of annoyed at him for helping us. According to Rose, growing the plant in our closet was the dumbest idea we had ever come up with.

Upon Charlie's insistence, Jake stayed for dinner though and I could tell from the expression on Rose's face that she wasn't pleased about it. I'd made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner; the second I finished putting all the food on the table, Jake loaded up his plate and started eating.

"Jeez, Jake. Were you brought up by wolfs or what?" Rose asked snidely, while dropping some mashed potatoes on her plate. Jas and I rolled our eyes in response.

"Don't worry about it, Jake," I said, trying to assure him that it was okay to start eating. He just winked at me with the knife in his hand.

"So, Rose, if you don't mind me asking, what were the flowers and chocolates for yesterday?" Jake asked, with an innocent smile plastered across his face, once he had finished his plate of food.

"Why? You never bring a girl chocolates and flowers? Typical!" Rose huffed, instead of waiting for an answer.

"Probably not if the flowers end up in the garbage and the chocolates get eaten by someone else. Sort of defeats the purpose, I imagine, don't ya think?" Jake responded.

"Let's just say, Jake, I had my reasons for tossing the flowers into the garbage. And I was taught never to waste food, so I offered the chocolates to other people. If I remember correctly, you enjoyed eating them!"

"So did Emmett and you make up?" Charlie asked all of a sudden, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, they did," I added. Rose didn't like my comment and gave me the stink eye in response. "At least it looked like it from what I could tell during lunch." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, it's good that you forgave him, I think. Emmett's a nice kid with a lot on his plate. His dad has high expectation and he kind of has big shoes to fill. I mean his older brother was a local football legend. I'm sure he told you all about it," Charlie said, nodding in Rose's direction.

"No, actually he didn't. I didn't even know he had an older brother." Rose answered. Charlie raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm surprised he hasn't told you. Eric McCarty, Emmett's older brother, he wasn't much of a student, but he sure could play ball. He was the high school quarterback about three years ago. He had a college scholarship and all, but then last minute he decided to forgo his scholarship to marry his high school sweetheart. He couldn't get into any schools based on his grades and I kind of doubted he really wanted to. Unfortunately that made him eligible to be drafted and he died in Vietnam over two years ago.

"His father took it real hard and then shifted all the dreams he had for Eric to Emmett, even though I think those two couldn't have been more different. Don't get me wrong, physically Emmett is just as strong as Eric ever was, but I don't think his heart is in the game the same way."

"I had no idea," Rose said, looking down on her plate, before she got up and started doing the dishes noisily.

Jake headed home on his motorbike after dinner and I helped Rose clean up the kitchen. Charlie stopped by to take another beer out of the fridge.

"So Rose, Bella, are you gals interested in getting a job for the weekends or in the afternoons maybe?" he asked. He opened up his beer and took a sip before quickly adding, "I mean you don't have to. I have groceries covered and if you need money for anything, like clothes or stuff, you can take it from the can over there," he said, pointing. "But the diner is looking for staff. Someone in the kitchen and a waitress, I could put in a good word for you, if you were interested in applying."

"Yeah, that sounds like a really good idea, Charlie. I was already wondering where to get a job in this town. I'm definitely interested in the job for the kitchen," I answered, happy about the possibility of extra income.

"I'm definitely interested as well. Let us know when to come by that place to introduce ourselves," Rose added.

"Okay, I'll let you know tomorrow when to come by to meet Betty, the owner. I'm sure it's just a formality to meet with her."

"Great!" Rose announced cheerfully. She was probably already planning a new outfit to buy from her earnings.

We finished doing the dishes and I went to bed shortly afterward. I heard Rose come upstairs and close the door to her room a little later and I was tempted to knock on her door. Since Rose was a well of information when it came to the opposite sex, I thought she'd be able to give me some pointers in how to figure out whether a guy was into you, just not into you, or just not into girls. But then I chucked it aside as a bad idea. I mean it's not like the information would change anything. What could I do? Attempt to kiss Edward again? Yeah, not likely!

I pulled my hair up into a bun, walked to the window and lit one of Jas's cigarettes as I leaned out of the window. The tree in front of me looked almost scary at night, its dark branches reaching the house. The porch light from the front of the house created a faint yellow glow on the grass next to the tree. I took a puff from the cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the crisp night air, when I heard Jas enter the room behind me. He leaned out of the window beside me and motioned for me to hand the cigarette to him.

"So we are all set for next Sunday," Jas told me. "We'll pick up Alice together in the truck and Emmett is taking Rose."

"Sure. Sounds fine."

"Maybe you can ask Edward if he wants to come along?" Jas asked, smiling as he handed me back the cigarette.

"I'll ask him, but not if that means that he's driving, so that Alice and you can make out in the backseat." I answered grumpily.

"Don't worry, sis. I'll definitely drive and may I just say, how very progressive of you to volunteer to ask a guy out."

"It's a party everybody is attending and it's not like it's a date. He's a friend I guess, so please, get over yourself!"

"I don't know, neither of you look like you're 'just friends' when you're together. I hate to break it to you, but you're permanently tomato red and he keeps on staring at you. What's your problem, sis?"

"Mine? I don't have one. Whatever, Jas, I'm really not having this conversation again; every night it's the same story. Give it break. Why are you so eager to set me up with him anyway?" I was beyond annoyed at my brother.

"Okay, I give up." He shrugged his shoulders, stubbing the cigarette out on the wall next to the window and leaving the cigarette butt lying on the sill.

"So are you planning on spending every lunch break in the janitor's closet from now on?" I asked.

"Mmmh, I don't know. Meeting up with her after school kind of doesn't appear to be an option. Apparently her dear mother shares the same sentiments about Renee as Emmett's father and she's kinda always at home. She says she has to wait until her Dad comes home one of these days to talk some sense into her to let me come over or for her to come here."

"Really? Man, I had no idea. So did her mother know that we went out on Saturday?"

"No. Apparently Edward told her that they were just going by themselves. She says her dad is cool though and likes Charlie. She thinks he'll take her side."

"Weird. This town is weird. Don't any of these kids just defy their parents and sneak out? Well, I hope for your sake that the dude shows up soon. Why doesn't he come home anyway? Port Angeles is not that far away."

"It's because they fight like cats and dogs whenever he's around, so he basically doesn't come around anymore. From what Alice tells me the fighting got to be really bad at one point, like a year ago. I mean, like dish-throwing-screaming-and-yelling bad. Ever since then her dad only comes home every other weekend. Alice kind of hates her mother, I think," Jas explained.

"Jeez, sounds shitty. Makes you kinda wonder, ya know? I always wished Renee would have just stayed here or found someone, but then really, who wants to live with two people who fight all the time?"

"Yeah, it could have been worse. Trust me, after the stories she's been telling me, I think Renee was actually okay. Apparently, other than going shopping with their mom, they're not really allowed to go out much. Charity functions–don't even know what those are–are also okay."

"Weird. Only normal person I've met so far is definitely Jake." I commented.

"Yeah, he's cool. I bet the kids on the reservation are cooler than the people that live in Forks. Sunday should be fun."

"Mmmh," I mumbled, yawning. "I think I'm going to bed now."

I closed the window and we both went to bed. I really wanted to confide in him and tell him about my botched attempt at kissing Edward, how he'd run away from me, how he was weird sometimes but then invited me on camping trips, how Lauren thought he was gay and all the rest… but somehow I knew I had to try to figure this thing with Edward out myself. Never mind that it just seemed too odd to discuss stuff like that with my brother, even though he pretty much knew everything about me.

Then it dawned on me: it wasn't my brother, and it wasn't Rose who I needed to talk to. It was Alice! She would be the best source of information for anything related to Edward. Considering the shit that I could dish out on Jas, I don't know why this hadn't occurred to me earlier. Now the trick would be to catch her alone.

Can you hear the lyrics of Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit yet? Go Ask Alice….

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