Jaces Pov
Shes going to leave me and I know she will. I mean why wouldn't she. Everyone else seems to so why shouldn't she. I cant handle it if she does. Shes staring at me with her big green eyes and im scared, I don't want to be the one heartbroken, the one who has to cry myself to sleep. What if im moving too fast? Should I distance myself? What if this is just a game for her and she isn't really in love. I cant help but doubt all these feelings. As we sit here In the library and I look at her reading her book, her face furrowed and concentrating I want her to love me but I.. I just cant believe she does, and I cant loose another person it will kill me,
She looks up and smiles a gentle smile. She leans in for what I assume is to kiss me, but at the last minute I turned away, no I have to stay strong or I wont be able to do this. She looks back at me with a hurt expression.
"Jace.. whats wrong?" she asks
I try to look indifferent and nonchalant "Nothing" I shrug
I stood up and stretched my arms "Im going somewhere ill be back before training"
I started walking away every step feels like im caring a thousand pounds,
I feel a small hand on my shoulder
"Why are you leaving" she asked. When I didn't respond she asked "Jace whats wrong?"
"Did I do something?" she asked. Really, this is harder than I thought, her eyes shine with confusion and hurt. I almost lost my nerve, Snap out of it! I yell at myself. She doesn't know, does she feel anything towards me. hell im in love with her but im afraid it's a game. With past girls there was no fear because I didn't care, but with her I care too much and its killing me, I don't deserve her if she loves me , and if shes lying to me then that will break me. I have to get distance before Its impossible.
I didn't mean to but it slipped out before I could stop it
"You didn't care" I muttered and I turned and left cutting off whatever response she had.
I walked out of the institute and down the street. I need to distract myself.
….
Smack.. smack smack. Our feet made the noise as we kicked and punched the mats at the institute trailing room. We have been kicking these mats for almost an hour because jace is late. Me, Alec and Isabelle have been waiting for him. We cant do partners because of the uneven numbers. Where could he be? He left 3 hours ago and wouldn't tell where he was going. And how he left was so confusing, I want to cry and slap him at the same time. Never the less I ended up crying after he left, why was he being so distant and mean? He said to wait for him but I have work. I sighed and gave the bag one last punch, pretending it was jaces head. I stepped away from the mat. I turned around and took a deep breath. I took off in a sprint and leaped. I grabbed the beam and swung onto it. From there I leaped higher and higher until I was over 30 feet in the air. I looked down to see alec and isabelle staring curiously at me.
"What are you doing C?" asked Isabelle
"I have work Izz, I cant wait around for him to show up. And I want to do something beside hitting a bag" I said and I swung another bar higher.
I pulled out my phone and looked at the time, great I only have 45 minutes til my shift. I sighed couldn't he at least send me a text saying that he wasn't going to make it, and an apology wouldn't hurt either.
"why don't you hit me instead baby?" came a Familiar voice from below. I looked down into golden eyes. His hair was ruffled in a weird was and his cloths looked wrinkly. His face seemed pale and his golden eyes troubled. What the hell? That is all he has to say after leaving me gaping after him. I swung down using then bars to swing quickly to the ground. Jace walked up to me, I could feel his breath and he towered over my short head. He offered a smile but his eyes flashed and I saw guilt. But as quickly as I saw it, it was gone. Is he really brushing this off? How can he just do that? No hes not doing that to me.
I pushed past him and headed for the door. I flung it open and took off in a spring down the hall, when a hand caught my arm bringing me to a halt. I tried to jerk it free but no luck. Damn. I turned to see jace
"What?" I asked with anger
"What do you mean What? You know what? Why the hell did you storm off like that?" he asked his eyes narrowed and his face tense
"I could ask you the same question jace, why did you leave all mad? And where did you go? Are you going to tell me that?" I asked my face felt flushed with anger my hands are shaking
"I didn't go anywhere I had to think" He said defensively
"You were gone for hours Jace!" I yelled
"Im sorry " he mumbled and he pulled me to him his lips crashing down on mine. They were hungry and desperate kisses and his lips tasted like bubble gum.
I got lost in his lips, when he finally pulled back, his eyes shone with pain and grief, and regret.
"Jace" I said softly "Please, whats wrong" I asked I put my hand on his cheek and looked up into his golden eyes.
"Im sorry, I love you so much and I didn't want to worry you I just had a lot on my mind. But im better now I just needed air, Ok?" he said. I sighed and nodded. He pulled me to him again but this time for a hug. I burrowed my head in his strong chest and he buried his face in my hair and sighed. Things seemed okay now but I didn't want him hurting. I hope hes ok.
Jaces Pov
As I stand here embracing her I knew I was wrong, why was I so stupid? She loves me and now I made a mistake that I cant take back. what will I do? This isn't good. How will I tell her? What if she finds out? My mind is reeling and I cant decide what I need to do. My stupid moment could ruin it all.
…
2 days later
Jace and I were sitting on my bed at the institute studying the material we were learning for the week. Jace seemed quiet. I nudged him with my arm snapping him out of his daze
"Don't think so hard youll explode" I said with a smirk. After a minute his face slipped into a deep in thought expression. I sighed and continued working. About an hour later
"Clary, ive been thinking" he said his brow slightly furrowed.
"What?' she asked slightly wary, was this a break up or something. She played nervously with her hands in her lap and finally raised her eyes to his
He sighed and begin "You, … you have these songs playing and it has me thinking, clary. I need an anthem. A song for me. Me being this awesome means I need a song to project who am." He looked up at her seriously no joke in his eyes.
Okay, why does he want this all of a sudden?
"Well what do you want in a song" she asked skeptically
"Well" he paused and thought "I want a song that represents my attractiveness as well as my charm." He said
"well, let me turn on the radio and if you hear a song you like then good." She said and hopped off the bed and turned it on. They listened while they studied
They studied for another few hours until jace pouted in frustration
"this is hopeless, ill never find a song. And im starving" he said dramatically as he held his flat stomach
"Cmon lets go get dinner. Ill drive" they walked outside and got in her bug. She turned the radio to a random station and began driving. Takis was too busy tonight so they headed to a Italian restaurant down town.
"AHHhhhhh" yelled jace causing clary to swerve. Horns Blared around me and I quickly swerved back into her lane. What the hell is wrong with him?. I opened my mouth to speak but he shushed me. Idiot
"This is the song!" he yelled. I listened to the lyrics and recognized the song. Crap oah please anything but this song
Ah... Girl look at that body When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok) I'm sexy and I know it Yeah
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it
When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off
And when I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
This is how I roll, come on ladies
We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)
Jace was singing along in his own world, he didn't even notice me pull over,
"Im sexy and I know it " he was singing banging his head around. I put the car in park and simply stared at him. This was ridiculous. He ran his hands over his abs and swiveled his hips against the seat. Oah god this was embarrassing. I shielded my face from the onlookers who were laughing while walking on the sidewalk. They couldn't see my face but my red hair was a give away. I sighed, I heard booming laughter and that was enough. I smacked him hard on his chest. I turned my body in the seat as his eyes widened and he put his hand over his heart with mock hurt
"Clary, that's the song" he said smirking his signature smirk. "it sums me up"
I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms and just stared at him. He cant be serious.
"What?" he asked
I sighed and shook my head. "C'mon lets go eat" I said. I reached for the door and swung out of the car. We walked towards the restaurant some people were still chuckling at the display earlier. And some girls were ogling him like a piece of meat. Great now all he needs are the animal neon Speedo and it will be the video in real life. I shot the death glare at the girls and grabbed Jaces hand.
"Jealous?" he asked. I rolled my eyes
"Don't worry I cant help it, im sexy and I know it" he said, his walk turning more into a strut
"oooy" I sighed
I couldn't help but giggle though, he has been so funny and open for the past few days it is unreal. I smile as we walk in and sit in a booth. This place is huge and crowded. There is a group of loud girls a few tables over, laughing probably drunk. That's going to get old. as were looking at the menu one of the girls yells out
"Jace!" she squeaks. I look up and jace tenses. His whole body goes rigid and his face is a mixture between shock and fear. What?
The girl saunters over and lookie here its Aline I roll my eyes to jace but he still stays rigid
"Heyy" she slurs and she put her hand on his shoulder
"Go away" he says roughly
She looks confused then smirks "Aw Jacey" she whines out
"Leave" he says glaring
"You weren't saying that to me Friday night at the club" she said loudly "Such a good kisser" she mock whispered into his ear
I froze, Friday? The night he was gone for hours? I feel sick, I look up at jace and his face confirms it, he looks overcome with guilt but I cant see anything anymore, my eyes fill with tears, and I gasp. Why would he do this to me? I love him how could he cheat?
"Clary… I" he began his eyes pleading and full of sorrow.
"No" my voice came out as a whisper "How could you?" my voice was quiet and muffled.
"I Loved You!" I yelled and pushed out of the booth and ran for the door
"Clary" he pleaded. He grabbed my wrist, but I wasn't having that this time. I kicked my foot up and brang it down on his arm he pulled it back in pain and I ran off into the street, I jumped in my car and ignored the yells for my name as I drove off into the night, and as the tears streamed down my cheeks.
Sorry its been a while ive been super busy. I couldn't think about what to write but this chapter is kind of a filler that's going to lead to more action and I can finally put in the twist ive been waiting for. I know it was kind of random and a shocker chapter but I hope you liked it, there is better to come I promise.
Thanks so much for reading lemmie know what you think.