Bellamy POV. Clarke and Bellamy fantasize while they wait for the rain to stop.
We're laying down. My hand is behind my head and I'm staring up at the ceiling. Clarke is laying down beside me. I can feel her warmth against me under the sheets. Our bodies barely ache anymore. The burning is almost gone. The pain was pretty bad but feeling her so close to me, almost as if the world is slowly peeling away is mending a small piece of my heart at a time. I know she can feel it too.
Peace.
"What would you do if we came down here and everything was safe?" she asks.
"What do you mean?" I ask with concern. I want to respond, tell her everything I have wished that I could say for so long. But that wouldn't let my heart heal. That would take a small part of it away.
"What if we came down here and the Grounders weren't attacking, the world wasn't dying and neither was the Ark. What if we had peace? What would you have done? Who would you have been?" she asks.
That is a dangerous question. It can also be a beautiful one.
"I would have saved my sister from becoming what she is. I would have found a beautiful woman who loved me. I would have married her in the woods. White dress, black suite, flowers in her hair, petals on the grass. I would have kissed her with a vow." I get lost in thinking about it. "I would have built a house out of the ground. I would repurpose the items we had into a bed, a soft couch, a nice kitchen where we would cook and bake together. We would celebrate birthdays and exchange presents that we mad for the other person."
I am already smiling as I think about it. I can't stop the smile. It makes me feel warm inside. My heart is warm. I can almost feel everything being put back together inside of me. Peace. I can almost feel it.
"I would have been happy, peaceful, quiet. I would have loved life."
She turns her face to me and smiles.
"What about children?" she asks.
"Of course," I say with a smile. "I would have had a few. Not just one. I always loved having a sister. I can't imagine what it would be like to have more. Maybe three or four children. A couple of years apart so that they could really teach each other, like O and I."
I pause for a second.
"We can protect them." I realize what I said as soon as I say it. I shake my head. I shouldn't have. I try to fix it. "I would protect them. I would never let anything happen to them or to the woman that I would love. I would make all of their boyfriends shake my hand and give them a good talking to." I smile at that. She smiles too, so big I can feel my heart clench. I try not to let it hurt so bad because I know it will go away.
"I would make sure that my sons were noble and honest and kind. I would make sure that my daughters were strong and safe."
She puts her arm across my chest and rests her head on my shoulder. I can still see her beautiful face. We look at each other. I can feel safety. I can feel warmth around my heart. Everything is okay now. We can be safe if we just stay here in this perfect piece of bliss.
"What about their names? Have you ever thought of that?" she asks.
"Wait a minute," I say. "What about you?"
I want her to feel as healed as I do right now. I put my hand on her back and look her right in the eyes.
"What's your dream?" I ask in a voice so deep and far away, I wonder what happened.
"I would life in a house that was kind of like the outside. I would be with a man that I loved. I would live close to Wells so we could be neighbors. I would teach my kids how to hunt. I would teach them how to love. I would teach them to be the good guys. I would tell them stories, remind them of the beauty of life. I would die their hair when they wanted or played games when they wanted, make up stories. I would pick berries and go fishing, hunting, build our home together. Make it bigger as our family got bigger."
I can feel the happiness in her tone. She thought she might be able to feel the real joy that I feel talking to her right now. She has no idea that I pictured her in that white dress with those flowers in her blonde hair. I stop the thought there, letting it sit in that special part of my brain. Instead, I make myself think of where we are right now. We're okay.
She smiles.
"What about names?" she asks. "You never answered."
"Right," I say. "I don't know."
She laughs and then looks at me.
"Come on, Bellamy Blake. With the names like your family, you have to have some ideas. I mean, you seemed like you really thought about it."
I nod. But I am reluctant.
"We have nothing else to talk about, Bellamy. Your my best friend…more than that. Come on, just tell me," she says.
More than that. I don't know what that means but it makes me smile and hold her a little tighter than before.
"Octavia had a brother…he was sometimes cruel but always made the decisions for his people. He was aggressive but I always loved how the name was somehow elegant, like maybe if he were born in another time, he would've been different."
"What is it?" she asks, curious with a wondrous look on her face.
"Augustus," I say with a smile. "For a girl…I'd want it to be after my mom. She taught me to be good. I would try to teach my children the same."
"Aurora," she says with a smile.
I nod.
"What a beautiful dream," she says.
"Beautiful dream," I agree.