A/N: Okay, last chapter was not all that great. This one will be a little short, but hopefully good or at least better than the last one. I have very little I think that can be added on these parts of life, but I want to provide windows into the world, any ways. Please don't shoot me!

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By senior year, Amber was pining. Pining, not for a human being, but for a time. She longed for a day when she could feel complete, fully and wholly content. Every day, she told herself she didn't have that long, that any time now she'd be gone and out of the house. Every thing had spiraled so out of control, but it some how had spiraled so slowly that it seemed like it had always been there. It felt like her dad had always drunk himself to sleep on whatever sort of alcohol he could get, it felt like her brother had always been a spoiled little brat, and it was just so…annoying. She no longer could escape into school and baby sitting, because her mom "needed" her home by a certain time, and she was constantly dreading it- the "How are your grades" and "Why not this" and just…every thing.

Her mom demanded that she cook dinner and keep the house clean for no pay, and insisted she do it a certain way. Of course, Amber- with her need for respect- felt horribly degraded by the demands. But, as of now, there were only a couple of weeks left. Only a couple of weeks left until she could finally bring herself back to the present, until she could be here instead of there because there would be here. Maybe it wouldn't make sense to any one else, but, to Amber, it made perfect sense.

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Graduation passed, and many of the graduating students cried. There was much hugging, talking, exchanging information, and what ever. Not for Amber, she had no ties with any one here. Remy was the closest person she had to a friend, and they weren't very close. But that night would be their final night together; the taller girl was moving, she said, to where ever she planned to attend college. So would she, she thought to herself. She had a place set up, all she needed to do was move in.

She stayed that night with Remy, still on top, still the alpha. It was harder than ever maintain her position, but she did. And, for what ever reason, she was compelled to make this night the best. To make it…memorable, somewhere, somehow. She didn't want this other girl to forget her…but the last person she would admit that to was herself. And they went longer this time than ever before, challenging, twirling, changing, and shifting, almost like high school. It was four years of hormones, pheromones, emotions, and frustration crammed into hours. It was every thing Amber had ever shielded herself from, the pain, the feelings, and every thing that she would still never admit, put into physical form. It was the blood, the sweat, the tears that never fell, the night of intoxication, and it was just…draining.

Amber fell off to the side, nearing collapse. Her muscles twitched and spasmed involuntarily, giving her little shocks of added pleasure to the night. But the thing she really wanted was to stay…a desire she tucked away, to the pocket of her mind, but it was still there. She hid it from the world, because it was the next best thing to hiding it from herself. Remy had been her secret life, there was a thrill there. It was nice to have a secret life; secret moments where she'd lay awake and just watch her sleep until it lulled her off as well. She would miss it, she realized to herself. She would miss it, but it wouldn't bother her.

"Amber," whispered her secret, the secret she kept even from people who knew. She felt the long hand grab her own. "I love you."

The blonde was shocked at the confession, and at that moment, was willing to give it all up and just stay here. She was willing to let every thing else not matter, to just throw it up in the air and let it fall. The moment passed quickly, however, and she was left confused. Three words was an overload of information on her already taxed brain.

"Oh." she muttered, turning over.

Not another word was passed between them, but Amber didn't struggle when she woke up in the middle of the night and found herself in Remy's arms.

She'd never admit it, but she was in love with her, too.

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Amber started med school the following year. At 17 years old, she was the youngest med school Freshman attending Stanford, University. Her growth spurt continued, and for the first few months, she thought of Remy- wondering where she had gone, wishing they could see each other again. She honestly tried not to care, tried to push her thoughts away into her work, but she couldn't.

And then, after a while, it just left- flooded into a serenade of one-night stands for what ever favors she needed. Kind of sad that the only way you're good enough for a favor is to fuck some one. But she was good at it. Hell, she fucked the teacher to up her grade 20% (she had an 80%) in Psychology.

Even now, however, she wasn't happy. Her parents called, still illusioned- some how- that she believed they really cared. Eventually, she stopped answering. She didn't want to know how her brother was running away from home and hanging out with questionable people, she didn't want to know how badly they wanted a divorce, and she didn't want to hear the lectures. She didn't need it. She didn't need any more reminders of how unhappy she still was, of how much she hated her two room mates and sharing a bathroom with four guys.

But the years passed. Slowly, but, they passed. Like a slow moving car, where every thing that passes looks like a blur because you only saw it out of the corner of your eyes and didn't care enough to get a look at it. Finally, she graduated, with her medical degree and specialty in radiology. The internship was hell, but she'd made it, and now every thing was a blur. Every lecture, every one-night-stand, every party, every fight with her room mates was gone. She could no longer access those feelings that had come when they happened, only access that they had happened and that they hadn't mattered. She had her knowledge, and that was all she needed.

It was a few months later, just before her 27'th birthday, that she moved to New Jersey- after being called back from a hospital she'd applied to.

But she knew nothing of what she was getting herself into…