Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

More Than One Sort of Prison

Chapter Ten

Nearly another day passed since Cassian first awoke and in that time he continued to recover slowly, while he and Jyn barely spoke to one another in the moments he regained consciousness. When he had come to a second time, he hardly remembered the words spoken between them before, though he remembered enough to know that he had revealed too much about himself to the young woman he had grown a deep respect for and he wasn't going to say more about it. So Cassian simply refrained from talking unless it was necessary for his care.

Jyn understood this about him and while he wasn't able to talk to her, she spoke plenty enough for the both of them as she told Cassian about how she had come to know this city's leader and smuggler, then she told him about the two thieves' deaths and about the attempt on his life. He brushed off her worry for him as though someone trying to kill him didn't matter and it irritated her. However, she didn't press him as she knew doing so wouldn't do her any good. Yet the look on her face told Cassian that she wanted to.

"You can say what's… on your mind, Jyn," he finally said weakly after she had fallen silent for over a minute while she began to pace back and forth alongside his bed, causing him to turn his head to face her as he struggled to sit up a bit higher. "It's o… kay."

"Clearly it's not okay, since you've barely spoken more than two words to me after you started waking more frequently and I told you your life is in danger," she responded with frustration while she glanced over at him. "I understand. I really do. It's just that you act as though it doesn't matter and it's not all right, Cassian."

He laid his head back against the pillows behind him as he closed his eyes to try to collect his thoughts, then he looked over at her while he replied quietly, "I'm a spy for the Rebellion and as such, making enemies is… an unfortunate, but necessary… part of my duty. I don't like it, but it's happened and I… I can't change that."

Jyn took a seat beside him as she answered, "But you don't have to act as though it doesn't bother you at all, or that it doesn't matter. That's what I'm angry about. You may not care about your own life, but I do whether you'd like me to or not."

"I appreciate that," Cassian responded. "I've forgotten what it's like to have someone who… cares about what happens to me. But enough about that. I'm afraid I don't recall coming across a Rodian whom I've offended, but that doesn't… mean I haven't. He might also be working for some… someone else. Either way, your friend, Lando was right that we should leave Cloud City as soon as… possible."

"You're still healing, Cassian," she replied curtly. "You can hardly talk or move because you're still in a lot of pain. You haven't even been able to remain awake for too long. You need to rest and you're certainly in no condition to fly."

The Rebel Captain nodded and then answered, "We don't really have a choice, Jyn. If Kay…"

Cassian fell silent a moment and Jyn could see a flash of despair in his eyes over the loss of his only friend for years until he swiftly shrugged it off and continued. "If Kay were here… I would let him take control. But he isn't anymore. If we're going to get out of here, you'll need to put me back into the bacta tank. I'll re… cover faster. But we need to leave by tonight, whether I'm better… or not."

"And if the tank is still faulty or is sabotaged again?" Jyn asked after she shook her head in frustration. "The assassin already got in here once without setting off alarm with the security officers. We still don't know how he, or she, managed to do it. What if…"

"I trust you to protect me," he interrupted. "You have so far, despite… me being so bullheaded."

Jyn smiled sadly at his attempt to make her feel better about their predicament, but then she spoke again saying, "When we do leave here, I'm not so sure I can return with you to Yavin 4, Cassian. I'm not so sure I really belong there, even if you believe they'll welcome me as you have. Especially not after I went against the council's decision and got a number of rebels killed in a suicide mission."

Cassian weakly reached out to take Jyn's hand as he responded, "A suicide mission that gave the Rebellion real hope that we can actually defeat… the Empire. And the truth is it was me who enlisted them… because I knew they wouldn't believe you without having to listen… to why our plan would fail. I knew those men all felt… as I felt about the things we've done. If anyone's to blame for their deaths…"

"If you say you're to blame, I'm through with speaking to you," she curtly cut him off.

"I was going to say it's the Empire to blame," he replied. "But we got them, thanks to you and your father."

The younger woman quickly corrected him as she stated, "And you too. I never would have been able to rebel against the council if it hadn't been for your belief in me, Cassian. Try not to think so little of yourself. You've done more for me in just a few days, than others have done for me my whole life. And you gave me back the few people I've ever really loved. Saw took me in, raised me, and taught me how to fight, but it wasn't the kind of life I wanted. I came to resent him. I'm grateful that I was able to forgive him before he died. As for my parents, I love them and miss them terribly. However, a part of me was angry with them for leaving me alone when I was so young. I was able to forgive them too when I listened to my father's message, because I understood then why they did what they did."

The Captain smiled as he answered, "You always had it in you. Listen, Jyn. It's time to do what we need to do right now. We've already wasted too much time talking."

"You're right," she responded. "But thank you for making all of this possible, Cassian. I mean it."

"You don't… owe me anything," Cassian replied uncomfortably as he struggled to sit up again, then moved his legs around the opposite side of the bed and attempted to stand and walk towards the tank without Jyn's help until he suddenly started to collapse.

She immediately rushed to him and caught him before he could hit the floor as she asked curtly, "What do you think you're doing? If you really expect to heal properly, you can't try to do everything by yourself. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not, remember?"

He nodded as he struggled to answer, "It's just… I'm not used to having help… after a mission. At least not from… someone with compassion… and sympathy. Kay was… a good friend, but… he didn't have capacity for that."

"I know that you must miss him," Jyn whispered sadly. "And that you're not used to someone caring about you, but it's no reason for you not to take any sort of compliment or accept that you deserve more than what you've always been given from everyone else."

"It doesn't matter," Cassian replied again. "I don't do… what I do… for gratitude, or for a sense… of self worth."

When Lando walked into the med bay then, followed by Lobot and the two medical droids, he rushed over to help the two rebels as they moved to stand in front of the tank while the droids moved in to prepare the tank for their patient as they had done before. Finally they took Cassian from Jyn and began to secure him inside.

Just before they fastened the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, Cassian motioned for the droids to pause for a moment, then he looked into Jyn's eyes and said quietly, "I do appreciate all you have done… for me, Jyn. And what you're saying. If… If something does go wrong, and I don't make it… I want you to know that I hope… for the chance to become the man you believe I am, even if you do… decide not to stay. But I wish you would. I'm better with you… at my side."

Jyn couldn't say a word as she simply stared back at him fearfully while the droids finished and the tank slowly began to fill with the bacta waters that would hopefully heal him as much as it's able, then Lando stated, "It's good that you've changed your mind about his treatment. I'm sorry for intruding, but I've come because I've got some more news. Though I'm afraid it isn't the news you want to hear. It seems as though my timing in coming to see you both is always wrong."

"What's the problem now?" she asked despondently when she finally turned away from the tank to look at her other friend still standing beside her. "If it's not about the assassin who tried to kill Cassian…"

"Actually, I'm afraid that this weapon you called the Death Star, has targeted another world and this time the entire planet was blown apart," the Baron Administrator continued with remorse. "One of my own spies I sent out to gather information just after you arrived reported that the Empire's attack occurred a few hours ago. Alderaan."

Jyn looked at him in disbelief as she uttered, "Alderaan? That is where one of the only council members who believed going to Scarif was the right decision to make resided… Senator Organa I think his name was. He wasn't…?"

Lando quickly interrupted, "I don't know. I doubt we'll ever know whether or not he was on his homeworld when it was destroyed, unless you and Captain Andor do decide to return to your base. Are you at least considering it?"

"No offense, Lando… but I've said way too much about what was meant to remain between me and Cassian already," she retorted angrily and walked across the room to one of the beds, then collapsed in frustration and exhaustion as she laid her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she added when she finally lifted her head to look up at the man who remained silent after her outburst to give her the space she needed. "I didn't mean to snap like that. I'm just…"

In understanding, he answered before she could finish, "You're afraid for him. And with everything the two of you have been through… Honestly I'm surprised it took you this long to come undone. You were right. What you do is none of my business. I suppose I just wanted to make sure that you'll be alright once you both leave here. Despite the kind of guy I am, I still consider you a friend, Jyn. I do have a few, surprisingly. Lobot here is proof of that. He would agree with me if he could."

The man with cybernetic implants smiled at him and simply nodded, then Lando spoke again saying, "I told you. I need to go speak with some of my people, but I still hope for the chance to actually meet Captain Andor before the two of you have to leave."

"So, you'll be there then?" she asked. "At the shuttle before we leave."

"Of course," the leader said as he gently tapped her shoulder, then left the room while Lobot remained with Jyn and Cassian like before.