Robert
1. Give him an appropriate nickname- Courtesy of glitteredvixen06- 'Rob The Snob'.
2. Not to mention that he's another candidate for the 'armor in the rain' thing.
3. Make fun of his helmet hair.
4. And it's purple. BLUE is what's totally in. Aha.
5. Act as uncouth as round him as possibly, mainly in public places.
6. Everytime be makes the simplest mistake or the smallest fracture of perfection, call him his favorite insult-Uncouth.
7. Make it clear to him that he's NOT high and mighty. He's actually quite unpopular.
8. Then make it clear to him that the popular one is Johnny.
9. Follow him around with a pen and paper. When he asks what you're doing, decide you are going to write a biography on him since he was so famous.
10. Blur all the details SIGNIFICANTLY.
11. Then, after he reads it and flips at you, start to follow him around again. This time, you're writing a bio on his ANCESTORS that he loved so much, all based on the long speeches he gives. 'Be sure you get all the details right, Robert. I'm copying word from word'.
12. Publish BOTH said biographies.
13. Since he loves chess so much, offer to buy him a human chess board: make sure he's a knight and not a king.
14. Better yet, get him a human chess board in the style of the Harry Potter movies- Wizard's Chess.
15. Sell him. On ebay. And you found a buyer who offered the highest bid- $10.
16. Said bidder was Sanquinex.
17. Compliment that George Bush does a better job of being 'couth' than he does.
18. When you are in his presence, push up your nose with your finger.
19. Be totally honest-for someone with the money to make himself look good and all, -he doesn't.
20. Accuse him of being a coward for various reasons. I believe nothing pisses him off worse than that does.