"Like this, Vanille?" Kierra asked, holding the hose over the garden to water it.
"That's right," Vanille nodded, "And once you've watered a spot for about a minute, move over to the next one so you get the whole area evenly."
"What happened to our sprinkler?"
"It broke for now," Vanille lamented. "Sky's insisted she'll fix it. I was going to give it to Hawke, but you know Uncle Sky."
"Ma," Rivera asked in a rare moment of being without Ember, who'd gone back to sleep for a little afternoon nap with her wild-found kitty friend. Vanille gave the little one her attention. "You and Dad are still gonna be mated, right?"
"Rivera, of course we are," Vanille crouched down by the child sitting on the wooden ledge around the garden to be eyelevel with her. "Sweetie, don't be scared. Your father and I just had a little fight. We made up last week, remember?"
"I know," Rivera admitted, avoiding her eyes with a troubled little expression. "But you haven't had sex with her since, Ma." Vanille's cheeks ripened a little bit. Rivera was a lot smarter than her age or appearance would've suggested, and she had wits as quick as a tiger. Situations surrounding her family didn't pass by her unnoticed. Any grown adult could recognize a bit of strain still persisting between her and Sky, and Rivera was growingly as smart as that already. "Happy couples have sex. And neither of you seem happy like you were before either." Rivera went on, seeming to have heavy thoughts on this. "I don't want you to leave Dad, Ma. Dad's been rejected too much already."
"Riv…" Kierra started, almost warning against it like they'd had this conversation before.
Vanille sat down next to Rivera on the ledge to equalize with her. The young one was half her height already. "Rivera," Vanille said, softspoken as she took the little one's hand. "I know things between me and Daddy haven't been perfect of late. Even made up, it's gonna take some time for us to get back to normal, but I'm not going to leave your father, Rivera. I love Sky, and I'm always going to."
"Told you," Kierra claimed, and Vanille waved her over from the garden too.
"Come here, you guys," Vanille summoned, and Kierra sat on Vanille's other side. She looked between both of them to address their young faces. "Did Mommy tell you all of what's going on between us?"
"She said some things." Rivera admitted, "We gleaned off the rest… I'm sorry about your broken baby-maker, Ma."
"Me too, Aunty." Kierra added, and Rivera supplied.
"Kierra cried for you when she found out." With such a painful thing to talk about to the children, Vanille nevertheless felt warmed and comforted by their sweetness. "I still don't want you to break up with Dad, though," Rivera looked her seriously in the face. "I can deal with not having more sisters. Dad's too worried they'd come out like me anyway." Vanille frowned, "But I don't want Dad's heart broken again. She gets too depressed when she's rejected."
"Rivera," Vanille backed her up a step, "What do you mean, 'Dad's worried they'd come out like you?' Your father loves you, Sweetie."
"Yeah, but I have her memory," Rivera filled in, speaking of her biological grandparent, "And that makes her nervous that I'll turn out like Grandna."
Vanille's frown deepened. "Crazy," Kierra filled in, drawing her eyes. Kierra glanced to Rivera in case she'd said too much, but Rivera didn't object or cast her a sharp look or anything, she just kept her head down. "Mom and Uncle Sky talked about it," Kierra supplied. "Rivera told me after. Uncle Sky worries over Rivera turning out like Great Aunt Luna, so she said maybe it was a good thing she couldn't have more children."
"Dad said it was a sign," Rivera corrected, sounding a little hurt by that. "Not a good thing."
Vanille was stricken. Sky had came to her decision and Vanille had followed Jaeger's advice and accepted her for it, she did. Sky had a big heart to choose her over future generations and that was that, they were healing with it, but she hadn't known this sad bit about Rivera. Sky always closed up so fast on the topic of her mother, Vanille hadn't even known she had Sky's perfect memory too. "Rivera," Vanille wrapped an arm around the little one and pulled her in for comfort. "Your father loves you, and nothing would make her prouder than to have another little daughter like you. Nothing, Sweetie."
Rivera's head remained hung. "But my ability…"
"Your memory doesn't make Sky love you any less," Vanille told her in full confidence of it. "It may make her worry more, but it doesn't diminish her love for you in any way. You caught Daddy on an off day saying that; she didn't mean she wouldn't have another you if she could, she was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Don't you ever think you're the cause of your father's choice, Rivera," that was so wrong, it pinched Vanille's heart and stung. "She loves you more than anything, Sweetie."
Rivera leaned into Vanille's warm embrace with her head still tucked, enough for Vanille to kiss the top of her sweet little noggin of deep blue with shining flecks of her mother's amber. "You won't leave us and Dad, right, Ma?" Rivera asked meekly, thanking Vanille in her self-stubborn way, almost sniffling.
"I won't," Vanille promised as her heart blossomed out for Sky's child, who'd be partly hers by adoption when she mated Sky. The precious child made her crave one of her own so much, "I promise, Rivera," Vanille vowed, half pained and full of love in her heart at the same time. "I'm not going to leave you and Ember or Dad or any of you."
Kierra caught her eye from her other side with a tentative smile, and Vanille pulled her in too. "Come here, you." She hugged them both, "You girls are my favorite kids. Nothing's ever going to change that, okay?"
"Thanks, Aunt Vanille," Kierra said, and Rivera agreed if only by duck-snuggling against Vanille a little more.
"Vanille!"
Vanille looked up to see her ex and closest friend, Fang, approaching, and by the mere way she walked towards her, Vanille gave a little 'damnnn' –in her head, of course, there were children around—of admiring.
Since her dark lapse into withdrawal and misery when she lived in a very dark place in her head, Fang had blossomed out of it quite beautifully. She didn't shake anymore or show any other severe symptoms of her withdrawal from the addiction—no seizures, night sweats, howling for medication, or fevered hallucinations anymore— and she'd fleshed out quite a bit. Vanille knew she embarrassed she still was over her body, but compared to the utter twig Fang was when she'd come in, she'd gotten a whole lot healthier inbetween. No more gaunt features with skin clinging to bone that could be felt just by touching her anymore. No, this Fang was a bit thinner, but growing back into her body beautifully. She'd just need a little extra kick and would get back to her old self; as of now, Vanille saw her on her way to gorgeous again. She'd always loved Fang's features, most of all that puppy look she could give with her eyes. Vanille loved her.
"Fang," Vanille answered back with lifted spirits, happy to see her friend outside in the sunlight where she belonged most of the time. From the time they'd had since getting back to Gran Pulse, Fang's natural tan had developed again, and it was a healthy shade away from the pale, frail thing they'd first brought home from Cocoon.
The kids hugged at her sides started to pull away. Rivera gave Vanille a grateful smile as she did.
"We'll water the garden," Kierra said, standing and fetching Rivera by the arm to stand too. Vanille gave her a smile as she stood along with them to greet Fang and the children rushed off behind her to tend to her garden.
"What's this?" Fang complained as they scampered. "Uncle Fang shows up and we all run and hide to tease her?"
Kierra grinned guiltily. "We're got a garden to tend, Uncle!"
"Yes, yes, tending the garden instead of giving your favorite uncle a hug. I see how it is."
"Fang," Vanille smiled as she came up to Fang and wrapped her in a great big hug to warm her where the children had scampered. "You're looking so good."
Fang flushed adorably, not quite at the stage where she could believe that yet, but Vanille had meant it wholeheartedly. "I don't know that I'd say that…"
"I would," Vanille pulled back from her with a smile. "How are you, Fang?" Vanille asked, then followed up. "Does Anya need help in the kitchen?"
"Not that I know of," Fang settled her, "I just saw you outside with the kids, thought I'd pop out to see what you all were up to. Training up the children to be Dias, I see!"
Vanille blushed, "Kierra wanted to see," she explained, "And Summer must've gone out early for some trading because I haven't seen her since yesterday."
"She's not out."
"She's not?"
Fang shook her head, "She came in to heal me last night. Practically passed out from exhaustion afterwards. She's still sleeping in now."
"Sleeping in?" Vanille asked, befuddled with confusion. "But she wasn't with Ember when Ember went to nap with her new kitty."
"Oh, I meant in my room," Vanille's eyebrows went up, but before she could say anything, Fang continued on to ask. "And kitty? What kitty? When did Ember get a cat?"
"She found it yesterday," Vanille explained, "The little cub must've drifted from her mommy and was left… and what do you mean, Summer's in your room? Did she sleep there all night?"
"It wasn't serious. She just tired herself out healing me."
"In your room, in your bed? Did you sleep with her?" Vanille's eyes popped, and Fang chuckled. Fang hadn't had sex with her or anything, of course, but if she had slept in the same bed as Summer—that spoke loads of her comfort levels improving, which made Vanille extremely excited and happy for Fang.
"I miss talking to you, Vanille." Fang unexpectedly admitted. "We haven't talked in a long time."
No, they hadn't. Vanille missed it too. Even after their breakup, Fang had stayed with her, and they always talked. "Well, we've both been going through stuff…"
"Which should be reason for us to talk more," Fang pointed out, "Not less. I've been so smothered in my own shit, I haven't even asked you about Sky."
"You've got some pretty serious…" Vanille glanced at the kids, indicating, "Stuff to be smothered in, Fang. It's okay. I know you've been real hard at work trying to heal, Fang."
"That's no reason to ignore my best friend," Fang countered sweetly, then put a hand to her shoulder. "Van, how have things with Sky been?"
Vanille couldn't help it, her best friend was being such a sweetie, which was so much of Fang coming through, she hugged her again. Fang "Hoh!"ed at first like she'd taken her by surprise, but Vanille felt her hand descend onto her back a moment later to rub in comforting. "Let's sit, ya?" With Vanille still clinging, Fang sat backwards to the grass and only then did Vanille release to look at her with heartfelt eyes of love and compassion. "I missed talking to you too, Fang." Vanille admitted, opening the little tender spot in her heart over her best friend again.
"So?" Fang prompted, attentive and sweet as Vanille poured her heart out to Fang, who sidled next to her to hold her in her lap like she used to. Vanille told her everything from not sleeping with Sky yet to building doubts, but undoubtable love still flowing between them. She told Fang all about how hard it was getting and knew the children were probably eavesdropping, even if it was by accident, but didn't care ever so much because it felt so relieving to mention all her struggles like this to someone so close and friendly. Fang could be the perfect listener when she really needed to be at rare times, and this was one of those times she sat with Vanille and let her pour out her heart of struggles and difficulties, leaps and bounds, feats accomplished and those she and Sky were still trying at.
It wasn't perfect; Vanille probably still lived in the most turmoil she'd had of her life, excluding Fang, but she was trying and Sky made it as easy as she could on her. Vanille even leaked the quiet part of her she kept to herself, about being a little relieved that she hadn't burdened Fang or her family with this, to which Fang utterly balked and told Vanille about how much better she was of a person, too good for her, and she would've made the same choice Sky had if they'd still been together. Vanille didn't know if it was completely true, but it made her feel better and hug Fang, who's arms were warm around her when she hugged back, so safe. It felt like it used to and how it should be between them, and by the time she'd finished pouring out her heart, Vanille was exhausted, comforted, and warm in Fang's soothing lap the way she used to hold her when they were friends and lovers both, so careful and precious.
Fang held her in those warm arms and spoke to Vanille like she'd be okay. And when Fang said it, Vanille could believe in those words. Fang made her rest just a little easier than before.
"Thanks, Fang," Vanille said at the end of it all.
"For what? Letting this pent up all inside you?" Fang gave her a little squeeze. "I'm sorry I didn't come out earlier for you, Van."
"You have now," Vanille easily forgave because there was hardly anything to forgive. Fang might take the blame, but Vanille hardly faulted her for getting caught up in healing.
Footsteps on the patio lifted Fang's head to the sliding-glass backdoor where the always-fair and beautiful Summer stood with a light breeze carrying pillow-ruffled hair that still fluttered perfectly with her every step. If the Goddess walked among them, Vanille imagined she'd have a pretty damn big rival in that woman. And when she looked back to Fang again, it was to find her eyes still captured, following every trace of the otherworldly beauty Summer had and emanated. "I heard my children had ventured out here?"
"Summer," Fang breathed almost reverently before Vanille could at her entry, which always seemed to be epic. When Summer turned her way and smiled, Fang's brilliant viridians lit up in a way Vanille recognized from first-hand experience. "How did you sleep?" Fang asked, and Vanille was half-impressed she'd managed the question in her growing state of trance.
"Very restful. Thank you for sharing you bed for the night, Fang."
"Mommy!" Little Kierra started running over and latched as high as she could around Summer. "You didn't come to bed last night," Kierra complained, hugging her. "We didn't know where you went after Fang."
"I'm sorry, Kierra, Rivera," Summer apologized as the other child came to her too. "I got so tired after Fang's session, I fell asleep right there. I'm sorry for worrying you."
Kierra parted to look up at her mother and told, "Ember got a kitty, Mom."
"I saw," Summer smiled, patient as ever. "You'll have to help her name it."
"She's going to notice if you keep staring at her," Vanille whispered to Fang very quietly. "If she hasn't already…"
"Huh?" Fang asked, only then breaking of it to look at Vanille in confusion. "Staring, what?"
Vanille's head dropped to Fang's shoulder in defeat. If Summer hadn't noticed till that point, which was doubted, but a possibility, she certainly knew now with Fang's loud mouth. "Nevermind." And true enough, when Vanille's eyes fell back on Summer, there was a little half-knowing quirk to the edge of her lips. Vanille sighed in mock-defeat. "You're hopeless sometimes."
Fang's features drew together to pout. "What'd I do?" Smiling, Vanille hugged her.
XXX
"Fang!" Jaeger called from the back doorway, lifting Fang's head her way. "Getcher skinny little ass in here," Jaeger summoned, "It's time to fatten you up again."
"Food," Fang recognized as the familiar call and alerted the rest of them to it too. Vanille squeezed her hand in support sweetly and followed on in.
"That's a girl," Jaeger stood by the door until she came in and followed Fang through the family room and hall to the kitchen. "Anya and I got something to tell ya, midget. Sit down."
"I'm taller than you, Dad."
"Sit down an' shut up, smartass."
"Jaeger," Anya reprimanded as Summer came in with her two elder kids.
"Smart butt." Jaeger corrected, making Kierra giggle a bit.
"Grandpa curses like a Water Yun." Rivera voiced, making Anya give Jaeger another sharp look with a silent 'see what you did?' accusation attached.
"Come on, Sweeties," Summer chuckled, "Let's wash our hands in the bathroom before we eat."
"Do you need help with something, Anya?" Vanille offered, giving Fang a little space with Dad.
"What's going on, Dad?" Fang asked, watching everyone depart for the moment with a worrisome eye. "Did something happen?"
"It's nothing like that, Fang," Jaeger eased, or tried to anyway. Fang never felt really completely at ease with her father of late, even with her getting a little less thick-skulled after her outburst at Anya. "Ahn and I have been measuring your progress of late, as you know," Jaeger scratched at the back of her neck. "And you've cured up of your addictions pretty well. Haven't seen you try anything stupid in a little bit now, and no more quakes for months now, eh?"
"Yeah…" Fang asked, eyes furrowing as the wonder came. This almost sounded like a preface for a good thing.
"Well, I been tracking it," Jaeger admitted, "And keepin' a good eye on you. I like to think you're ready for somethin' that might help move along your healing an' getcha a little more ready for Orca fest."
"Something like what?" Fang sat completely oblivious to what her father was getting at.
"We thought it a bit too early before," Jaeger went on to tell, "But of late, you been better 'bout it, physically and in a better head space. So, we think you're ready for it. Anya and I have discussed it, and if you feel comfortable enough with it, we think you're ready for some Regen, Fang."
"Regen?" Fang's eyes widened at the name of the herb. Regen was a well-known curing agent in these parts. Not shared with Cocoon, it was Gran Pulse's herbal agent that could be beat to a paste or ground and served up. It was one of, if not, the most powerful healing agents on Gran Pulse and even rare enough there, but the component had to be used sparingly. Too much in even one serving could induce a high, and over just a few uses, it had addictive properties to it like a drug, which Fang had become addicted to in Cocoon. Fang hadn't heard of side effects happening like she'd had when she'd come off her dosage, Gran Pulse medicine wasn't harmful like that, but it was easy to fall prey to Regen's happier states. And Fang had been the worst of the offenders when it came to that in Cocoon. The airy feeling of lightness or not feeling at all, she'd groveled for that.
Regen would undoubtedly help speed healing along, as a curative agent, it gave constant, directed attention to ills and wounds, but the risk for addiction seemed so great, Fang had never even brought it up as an idea. The mere thought screamed Anya, who knew how especially hard she'd been working to recuperate for the festival time. "You think I'm ready, Mom?" Fang asked, leaning back in her chair to take in her mother. Even with a softer heart, this was so big of a thing to even suggest. It couldn't have come lightly at any cost.
"Don't look at me," Anya shook her head, "Your father knows medicine better. She came to me suggesting it." Fang blinked, eyes turning back on her dad in shock. "I agree with her that you can take it," Anya added more softly, "But she brought it up."
"Dad?" Fang asked, almost croaking.
"You been good going on twelve weeks, Fang. An' Anya and I both see how hard you've been workin' to get better. Ya beat the shakes and withdrawal, put on some muscle, been stickin' to the frustratin' training with Hawke. We're proud of you, kid. An' if you feel safe enough yourself to try it, you've got our support. Anya and I will measure out your dosages, slip it in your meals, so you don't have to worry none about the amount and— hey!" Jaeger barked as, unable to help herself, Fang slid across the table and hugged her.
"Dad…" Fang's heart wallowed in it. It was one thing to have Mom's trust and sympathies because she'd always had a softer side when it came to Fang, but for Dad, who'd been stubborn, moody, and critical of her this whole time, especially pertaining to Fang's judgment— it meant the world to her that her father would trust her with this, something so sensitive that she'd failed so epically at before… Fang had to hug her. She wouldn't say she didn't disserve Dad's lack of faith in her, but this grudging, insult-cracking affection felt so much more like Dad again, before she'd stopped trusting her. It overflowed in Fang.
"Yeah, yeah," Jaeger hesitated to hug her back the first few seconds, then gently raised her hands against Fang's back in her lap. "I love you, Fang," Jaeger said more seriously, "You should know that."
For the first time in months, Fang felt it.