Title: Which You Think You Cannot Do

Author: atlantis child (Command Dynamics), innocent choir girl When Elizabeth Weir doesn't answer any of her calls and doesn't show up in her office, Atlantis' security is about to start a search team out to find her. But John Sheppard finds her first, and what he finds shocks him.

Genres: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Abuse, Rape, Torture, Violence

Rating: M

Chapter: 10 "Earth to Elizabeth"

Author's Notes: none.

Everything from getting up from the stand and being walked to get something to eat was a blur, everything that was until her arm was prodded by Kate Heightmeyer. "Huh?" Elizabeth blurted unintelligently. She hadn't even been listening at all…it had been completely in her own head… Elizabeth was thinking about Atlantis and how she missed it. She knew that her time on Earth at the time seemed long, but not in comparison in how long she had been on Atlantis. She blinked her emerald eyes for a minute to move her concentration to the group around her.

"Earth to Elizabeth," John said and then raised his eyebrows at her when she looked his way. "Kate's been poking you and calling your name for the past five minutes or so…" he informed her. He knew it was all taking a toll on her. He could see it in her eyes, how her eyes were more of a dulled darker color than their normal bright shiny sparkle green. Her face showed her state of sleep deprivation, her make-up wasn't able to cover all of the dark circles under her eyes, and he was sure that it had washed away also when she had been crying on the stand. Her shoulders were slumped instead of back and straight. And obviously her mind was wondering…

"I'm sorry," she apologized looking down at the small salad and picked up her fork to poke around it pretending like she was actually eating it. Her day so far hadn't gone so great. At least she didn't think so. Elizabeth just wanted to go home. At this point, she didn't care if Caldwell got away; she had hated her name being slung around how it had been. She felt ashamed and dirty… She had washed her body clean of him some time ago, but yet she could feel that feeling wash over her again.

Frowning, Kate looked to Agnes and then back to Elizabeth, "You're doing great up there," she tried, hoping that Elizabeth would believe her. Elizabeth's state, Kate could tell, was starting to roll downhill. She could only imagine how hard it was on her, to be carrying all the shame that Caldwell was trying to put onto her…all the lies…and all the hurt that she still carried inside.

John looked to Kate and Agnes for answers, "How much longer do you think that this all will take? I mean, we all have that fun two to three week journey back to Atlantis to look forward to…" He was asking more for Elizabeth's sake than his general sanity. It was their home, and he knew it had to be more of Elizabeth's comfort zone than their current quarters.

"I doubt it will be much longer. Hopefully, we can wrap things up today and then tomorrow we can do closing statements and then we can get the verdict," Agnes informed him. She looked over at Elizabeth and reached out and squeezed her hand, "You are doing wonderful up there. I know it must be hard…but it's almost over…"

Elizabeth just produced a small fake smile. It was just something to entertain Agnes, nothing that she felt deep down. "I can't wait to return to Atlantis…"

"Well," Kate said, "If you don't eat then you're going to end up under Carson's care when we get back to Atlantis." When her eyes met Elizabeth she added, "You need to eat. I know it doesn't seem like anything's going to help, but eating is going to make your body feel better. And it's what's going to fuel it so that you can finish this trial so we can all return to Atlantis."

"My stomach is just churning," Elizabeth explained. "I think I'll eat better tomorrow…" Dropping her fork, she sighed quietly. "I'm tired…"

"You need sleep, too," Kate added.

John frowned, "Maybe we should ask to continue to tomorrow…"

Elizabeth's head shot up, "No…I want to get this done with as soon as possible…" she told him sharply. "I just want to finish this…" Her eyes were pleading with John. Yes, she was tired, but she would rather sleep in her own bed a day sooner than sleep there. "I promise, I'll sleep tonight…"

"Maybe a sedative?" Kate offered.

Nodding a bit, Elizabeth agreed, "Might be a good idea…"

When they returned back to court, Elizabeth took the stand again and Major Everfield crossed her again, this time with fewer interruptions from Agnes and the Judge Advocate General. She didn't let it get to her this time. The only thing on her mind was getting home to Atlantis. His questions where trying to get her to admit to some kind of misconduct and he was trying to feel for any relationship she may have with John.

The whole thing was depression, she thought afterwards. She and Simon had something before she had gone to Atlantis. Before she thought they would be married, but now…now there was nothing for her to return to. Simon was with someone else, and she was happy for him no matter how much it hurt that it seemed like a relationship she had thought would go somewhere had been taken away from her so quickly. Maybe that's what lay ahead for her? A life of loneliness, of pure professional relationships…not something she had always dreamed of, but she figured at least she had friends…that was something. Not much, but she could count herself lucky for at least that.

She sat at the table in the court room that had been set up. Listening partly to what was going on, but then thinking about how her life hadn't turned out exactly the way she wanted. They were wrapping up for the end of the day…tomorrow would turn out exactly how Agnes had said…there would be closing arguments and then the final verdict.

"How about we go out to dinner?" Agnes offered Elizabeth as she cleaned up her things and packed them away into her case. "It'll be a nice change from these dreary grey walls…"

"Not today," Elizabeth said quietly not looking at Agnes.

"Tomorrow then…it'll be like a celebration diner…for putting Caldwell away," she said leaving it as a definite rather than a question. "One more day, Elizabeth. Then, you'll be able to return back to Atlantis… I'm sure you've been missed…"

A small smile formed on her face, "I'm sure John and I both have… No one's there to really reign in Rodney like we can. But Ronan can put the fear of God into him…so hopefully that's worked thus far."

Agnes smiled, happy to see some true happy emotion from Elizabeth. "Why not give them a call? Let them know that day after tomorrow you'll be coming back? Check up on things…"

"I think that sounds like a good idea," she said thinking about the whole idea. She had felt so disconnected from Atlantis…from Pegasus…seeing Teyla and checking in would do her some good, she knew it would.

TBC…