Happy new years everyone, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did making it, as even though it took a bit to come out, I had a lot of fun writing and rewriting it a few times. If you're wondering about the character inconsistency of MG hating herself for killing a pokemon and yet earlier letting Nyx kill and eat tons of bugs. Well, it's because she isn't disgusted with killing a pokemon, that's just nature. No, she's disgusted with killing another trainers pokemon. After all, her closest and only real friends in this world are her pokemon and she hates the fact that she was the one to take that away from someone else.
Also if you're wondering why there were no authors note in the last chapter and it's at the top of this chapter, it's because I hate ruining the end of a serious chapter with me talking so from now on all AN's will be at the top. Cheers, I'll see ya later and here's to 2019!
I was a killer…
That's all I could think about after that match. Sure it was Nyx that killed that Cacnea but I gave the order, I killed it, I was a killer...
Even as I made my way to the center of the arena, and claimed the fifteen hundred dollars and moonstone prize, I couldn't really celebrate, as all I could do was keep on replaying the horrific pop and squelch sound the Cacnea made as it was split in half. In a trance I just found myself working through the motions as the stadium cheered and roared, the sadness and anger in Zach's voice mixed into that horrific scene and I could feel my own heart begin to race and pound faster and faster. I couldn't take this, my chest felt like it was gonna explode and my body began to shake. I needed to get out of there, I needed to get out now, everyone one was looking at me, looking at a killer and they knew it too. So I ran.
I ran as fast as I possibly could before the announcer finished his final words or a single spectator left the stadium, I did. I ran out the stadium doors and just kept running, I didn't stop at a pokecenter, I didn't stop at the pokemart to resupply, I didn't plan out anything at all, I just knew I had to keep running and so I did. I ran and I ran and I ran and I just kept running. When I hit forest I kept on running, and it wasn't until I nearly collapsed that I finally stopped. Only then alone in the forest did my heart stop pounding and my body stops shaking and yet the scene kept replaying anyways and I collapsed to the ground and began to sob. I don't know how long I was out there for, nor how long it took them to come and find me but when they did I was still crying, even as I was brought back to town and to the pokecenter. Even as the nurses checked me over to make sure nothing was wrong physically and as they took my pokemon away for healing I kept sobbing and replaying that scene, over and over again and I just kept thinking that one thought… I was a killer. Eventually, after my pokemon were healed they took me up to my room and I collapsed in bed and still, I cried.
I don't remember when I fell asleep, I just remember it took a long time and that I was plagued by nightmares of that exact scene the entire night.
I was a killer…
That was my only thought as I woke up and as I got ready for the day the Cacneas death kept replaying through my mind over and over again. Today though I didn't cry or shake, today I just felt an empty pit inside myself, like no emotions could ever touch me again. I hadn't felt this way since I was seven years old and my mother beat me for asking if I could stay and watch television with her and my dad. Since before I had found my passion for pokemon battling and I hated feeling this way, feeling so… Empty.
Yet despite all that I continued my motions, I had a deadline to hit and I was already behind. So I made my way out of the center and to the Pokemart. I stocked up on potions, antidotes, a few ropes and some climbing equipment, pokeballs and of course lots and lots of food. I decided to save the rest of my winnings from my tourney so I could hopefully afford some nice TMs later, mainly I just wanted to get out of Marigold. Then I made my way out the main route opting not to go through the wild this time.
I made great time, reaching Union cave only an hour after leaving Marigold town and encountered no trainers along the way. However, Union cave was what I was truly scared about. See, statistics show the cave ventures are responsible for sixty-three percent of all trainer deaths in the wild. The rough and dark terrain meaning nearly anyone can fall and knock themselves out easily, with little other people climbing or traversing the same way as each other, a person will rarely get the medical attention they need. Combine the resultant concussion, with the dark and rough ground and that person, will probably never find there way out and starve to death. The other reason they're so dangerous is that caves often are home to the most amount of major or higher threats. Often containing Ursaring dens, Geodude and it's exploding family, the massive and town destroying Onix family, Rhyhorn and Rhydon and sometimes even Rhyperior and of course, caves are the only place in which dragons make themselves home. It often takes an Elite or ex-champion to patrol the caves often and some places like Mt. Silver or Mt. Mortar are so completely infested by high-level threats that even the league has given up on patrolling them and instead simply works to keep them from spilling out into other cities and towns. Luckily for me, Union Cave in one of the safest and most traveled caves in the entire region and anything even remotely dangerous or cool is often caught immediately when found. As I made my way in, I wasn't gonna let my guard down, I had read to many horror stories and statistics to let myself do that, Besides I could handle this… I was a killer.
My first response to entering the cave was to simply gasp in awe! I couldn't believe how big the opening cavern was. It much has stretched high enough to fit a fully grown Steelix and was wide enough to fit at least three fully grown Wailord. My second thought when I entered the cave was immediate dread as caves this big wasn't made naturally and I began to freak out being stuck in the dark with whatever made this possibly digging around directly below me. Then I took a few calming breaths and flipped on my flashlight, I hated the dark.
I made my way forward through the cave, I kept Pan in his pokeball as he'd be very useless against the multitude of rock and ground types within this cave and I preferred to keep him safe, besides Nyx seemed to have near perfect vision in here anyways and she was using it in spades to harass the local Rattata and Paras that live in these caves. However, when she quickly snatched one up I bent over and empties my breakfasts contents all over the cave, it reminded me too much of the fucking Cacnea.
Not trusting myself not to vomit again, I forewent refilling my stomach and instead just continued forward where the map told me too and soon enough my hesitation swiftly changed to boredom and boredom to depression as I began continuously replaying that scene through my head again and wondering what I could have done differently. I could have commanded Nyx to not drop him on a rock but we hadn't trained that as a possibility and she didn't know where to drop someone. I could have recalled her when that needle ripped through her face but the Cacnea would have still dropped. I didn't know what I could've done but I wished I had done whatever it was.
Cursing I realized in my own pity I hadn't even looked over Nyx yet, I couldn't let myself get sloppy like that. So after stopping and a quick whistle she reluctantly came flying over and situated herself on my shoulder and I began examining her face. A long jagged scar ran down along the ride side of her face, right below the right side of her eye and down below her beak. An inch higher and she would have lost that eye, for the first time I was not sad but angry and glad we killed the Cacnea. That anger quickly turned into disgust at myself for thinking such a thing and I vomited again causing Nyx to fly off in a huff. Then noticing Vortumna still limping I got down on one knee and whistled for Vortumna to come and she slowly made her way to me an obvious limp in her right foreleg. I saw her try to hide it like a scorned child would when she came over to me, causing me to smile at my adorable little starter. I started by picking up her leg and she yelped and whined which caused a sad pang in my heart. I then began pressing down lightly all around the leg seeing where pained her and where did not and the answer was pretty much her entire foreleg. I sighed and grabbed out a potion and sprayed it on her leg, she yelped and jumped away but I had done what I needed to, and I knew I would probably have to do that regularly over the next few days if I wanted her to heal properly.
I recalled Vortumna because of the injury and let out Pan. I still didn't like his matchups within the cavern but I wanted to make sure I always had two pokemon on me in here. We continued through the cave for a while more before stopping for lunch. I ate very light, being prepared for my meal to leave me at any moment. Nyx had no problem hopping around eating anything she could find and Pan was content wandering around nibbling on the little amounts of shrubbery and fungi that were found within the cave. I also let Vortumna out so I can spray some more potion on her wound and so she can eat and get some fresh air. When she came out however she acted very standoffish and careless to me. It was as if she was pouting and I couldn't help but giggle at my starters adorableness once more, which made her even poutier and made me laugh even harder. Eventually, I was able to calm down and with a few soft words and the promise of food I was able to get Vortumna to forgive me. There surrounded by my mismatched team of a mischievous bird, an adorable fox, and a carefree shape, I think that was the first time I ever began to feel ha-BOOM!
Out from the ground emerged a twenty-foot rock snake mouth opening and closing in a sickening crunch around Pans startled and unprepared body. I stood there in complete and utter shock and then I ran!
I wasn't the only killer...