A Lifetime to Cherish Chapter 10: Need for Chocolate, a harvest moon fanfic

I should've been happy, but I was just plain moody. Emotional. Not rational. Grrr! If you are confused, let me state a few lovely little facts.

1. At the horse races, I was subjected to stress of an emotional nature.

2. I could not stop thinking about what happened with Jamie

3. Memories that I had wanted to suppress, particularly memories of my father's death, came flooding back to me

4. Because of said aforementioned memories, I had an answer to the Jamie conundrum but no solution.

5. Why couldn't I get Kurt out of my head?!

It was almost that time of the month, which incorporates mood swings. It was precisely 12:01 AM, and fortunately, this fun sleepover's conversation topics had not yet drifted to the relationship between Jamie and I. Of course I could never tell them about what had happened so long ago in that house by the sea. Even Jamie didn't know that I had finally remembered, and I had no idea hows to tell him, or if I should tell him at all. Unfortunately, I felt everyone's' eyes on me as Gwen had innocently asked about the purple-haired rancher leaving the racetrack in a huff yesterday evening. She, being the horse fan she was, had come on the day of the races to celebrate her first day living here. Gwen and I had become fast friends. Truthfully speaking, she became fast friends with everyone. Yes. She. Was. Nice. I have been able to keep up my cheerful demeanor, though a few people have commented that I looked tired. Which was not precisely true. Notice the staccato sentences of my self-conscious?

I. Feel. Stressed!!!

Best thing is that this stress is one of those bouts brought on unexpectedly. It's ungrounded. No reasons. Maybe a bit of provocation (Jamie and Kurt incidents,) Though I wouldn't normally get worked up over such things. This was just a Kachi-being- moody moment. Everyone has them, right? A bad day or…. Not really. Just when you feel like breaking down and hitting something. An almost-that-time-of-the-month mood swinger. As everyone pretty much stared at me, I innocently popped a chocolate in my mouth. Ahhhhhh… A bit of relief, there.

"So," began Nina (quite predictably), "What ever did happen with you and Jamie in that broom closet?" Those who had not heard the tale responded in their own way. Gwen lifted an eyebrow (very Jamie-like!) and smirked. Ellen blushed and covered her face with her pillow as she tried to smother her grin.

I chewed the chocolate slowly, and all the ladies of the village watched me with the eyes of hawks. We could all be honest with each other here, and it was a good feeling. I was just in one of those moods, and they all seemed to sense it. Patiently, they watched. I swallowed.

"Well," I began as if I were about to go on and on. A few had their breath caught in their throat. One. Two. Three empty seconds. "We talked." I supplied with a shrug.

"I must try harder, then!" Cried Nina with a vengeance.

Chuckling and shaking my head, I threw her a chocolate, "Eat another and calm yourself!"

In just this one sleepover, I really felt connected to everyone. It was… amazing, really. Everything had started with the usual conversation, of course. Maria, Gwen and I had discussed literature for a while and everyone else mingled about. Afterward, we had dinner and got into our pajamas. Now, we sat in a circle of sisterhood!

"That's all?" Gwen teased.

Blushing, I smiled and shook my head in the affirmative. But then …-

"Jamie…" I said hurriedly, "If the door opens, we're going to fall."

I realized…

It was true, for all my weight was upon it. I wasn't facing it, either, and he was pressed against me. It was the domino effect! I felt Jamie scoot back as far as he could.

The blush grew more prominent upon my cheeks…

His hat fell off and between us as he tucked his head and pulled me close to him and away from the door.

…pulled me close to him and away from the door.

I hadn't noticed it much then, but he… hugged me!

Smiling lightly, Maria raised a brow and asked, "Methinks you have come to a realization, Kachi?"

Looking over to the questioning librarian, I replied, "Or, has the realization come to me? Therefore it would not be something that I would think consciously of. It could be about my breakfast, for all you know."

Maria continued, "Ah, but what if said example is merely to distract from my interrogation?"

"By that question aren't you then letting me win?" I asked with a quirk of brow.

"Win in what manner?" Asked the kind Maria.

"Well, has not the subject been successfully diverted?" I plowed on, "Or is the diversion of the subject merely an illusion? Do not the thoughts continue on in our minds as streams of unconsciousness that we must grasp and bring to the surface?"

Finally, Ann cut in, "This is intriguing, really, it is. But I think you two need to… uhhhh… relax a bit, y'know?"

Maria probably knew that this was a loosing battle, anyways. Smiling, she responded, "Yes, yes, alright. What shall we do next?"

Score! Subject successfully diverted.

Let me tell you, Milano cookies are REALLY good. Coupled with chick flicks and an overnight slumber party where we could all relax, they were heaven. I drifted hazily from my place on the rug at about 9:00 AM so that I could return to my own abode. I petted my egg as I came in, fed Hoshi, and collapsed. Hey, no one actually sleeps at slumber parties, y'know? It seemed like it would be a lazy day! After grabbing a quick lunch at about 2:00 (when I got up,) I grabbed my watering can and proceeded to care for the breadfruit.

It was the eighteenth of Spring. At the slumber party, I took down the dates of every ones' birthday, so I knew that the 20th was Nina's! She might be a bit mischievous, but she was still my friend, after all. I realized that really the only person's birthday no one knew was… Jamie's. That made sense though, didn't it? He usually kept to himself…

No, don't you dare think about that!

Grrr. I need chocolate.

Tenderly, I stroked the fuzzy undersides of the breadfruit leaves. They had awhile to go yet, but they were wonderful all the same… Yeah, the whole "calming myself bit?" It wasn't working too well. I then realized that when chicky hatched, it would need a place to run around in. A chicken pen! I would need to chop wood for that, right? Good. I needed some more stress release. As I went back to my house to fetch my axe, I couldn't help but notice a purple-poncho wearing figure standing on the beach once more. He looked so aimless that I almost envied him. But… maybe the sea would bring me peace as well? I made my way to the edge of the beach right in front of the small cottage I called home. With the sea breeze playing so lovingly through nature, I really did feel… calm… sort of.

Promptly, I began to walk into the water until it was ankle height. I plopped down onto my knees, which seemed to puzzle Jamie beside me. Hey, it would puzzle me if I saw myself, too! Sighing, I literally dunked my head into the water and then scooted backwards to plop back onto the sand with a sigh. My hands spread and sea salt tickling my nose, I simply watched the great expanse above. Irritably, I flipped over on my left side and watched the sun upon the blessed sand. No, I wasn't bored. I was just… Grrr!

My hazel hues drifted upwards, and I then saw Jamie's intense hues trying to figure me out. "What are you doing?" He asked casually.

"Feeling miserable and irritable for no apparent reason," I replied stoically.

"Ah," He nodded as he turned out to sea. He seemed loose and relaxed, just like I wanted to be at this point. So… casual.

I thought silence would reign, and I gently closed my eyes. Much to my surprise, however, Jamie spoke again. "Now, is that an account of a most likely sleepless slumber party or because it's just one of those…" He paused for words as I opened my eyes. I quirked a brow and… wait a sec, had we changed positions? "…things…" He finished inconclusively with a helpless shrug and sigh.

Smiling gently, I looked up at his features that gazed so gently forward towards the sea. "A thing," I supplied as I tried to push myself up. I was unsuccessful for two reasons. First, the blood rushed to my head. Second, I didn't actually want to get up. Defeated, I plopped on to my back only to find that I had an unmistakable cramping in my lower abdomen. "Argh!" I winced as I curled up into a ball again. Massaging my stomach as best I could, I knew that no position would be comfortable. It was a joyful occasion, wasn't it? Well, I did know that exercise was my best bet. I would go inside and grab my foraging basket and my ax. As I stood (somewhat painfully,) I noticed Jamie's gaze upon me. Remembering his standing in various matters, I supplied sweetly, "Being a human might be bad, but being a human girl is worse." I couldn't help but notice the grin that quickly made itself present upon his face. I shut the door, my own expression mimicking is.

KLUNK----RIP

I was getting better at this, wasn't I? Swallowing my initial depression following the realization that Jamie had left the beach, I had come out to cut stumps. It was kind of funny how amazingly well this relieved one's stress. It also made one feel hot and sweaty and sticky though, which wans't the most pleasant thing in the world.

"You seem to be getting better at that," Noted a liquid voice.

Propping the axe on my shoulder, I turned about to meet Kurt's disinterested gaze. "Yeah, thanks!" I replied cheerfully. "How was your visit?"

Kurt stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Looking up to the sky, he pondered for a moment before saying to it, "It was a nice visit, I suppose. I'm just a bit sad to be gone. And you," He shifted his gaze so it once more took mine, "How have you been these past few days?"

I smiled, "Recently I've been pretty well… yeah." Why did I lie like that? I have no idea. It just kind of… fell from my mouth, y'know?

Kurt nodded, "That is good, then."

SILENCE

"Oh, hello Kachi, Kurt," Voiced a calm voice to our side. Emerging from the brush, Ray the fisherman smiled as he approached. It wasn't an awkward silence that Ray broke... Really! It was a reflective silence where one could reflect upon what had been said. It was a beautiful day on top of that. I waved and Kurt nodded to the new arrival.

Before anything much could be said, however, Kurt looked at the sky and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to leave now. Goodbye." My heart kinda… sank a bit there. But that was to be expected, right? Kurt was nice to talk to and everything.

"Bye!" Chorused Ray and I.

"So," I turned to Ray as I placed my ax on the floor. That thing was heavy! "How have you been doing? I haven't gotten much chance to talk to you, lately."

Ray smiled, "Yeah, that's true. Everything is… well, pretty much the same!"

I replied, "Well, there has to be some notion of sanity in one's routine to provide for insanity."

The blue-eyed vagabond nodded, "Yeah... makes sense."

"Oh, we have to make time to go fishing some time again, don't we? That was really fun last time, and I think I am getting better!" I quipped. Ray simply nodded. He was a nice person to be around, really. He kind of… emanated something, and not only that, but he was a kind soul who no one could dislike. "Well, now I have to go foraging. The doctor needs herbs, after all!" I grabbed my scattered belongings and put everything but my basket in the rucksack.

Ray nodded, "See ya later then, Kachi."

"Bye!" I sang as I went off into the woods. It would be a pleasant rest of the day, right?

"ARGH!" I winced as another cramp attack presented itself. Ray was almot nothing in the distance at this point, but he still heard this.

"Are you okay?!" Ray called, now running up to me worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah. FINE!" I yelled back as I waved again. He stopped, apparently puzzled. I flashed him a big, bright, reassuring smile before proceeding to the forest again

I sat down at the base of a tree, awed by the beautiful sunset. Beside me, a basket lay full of herbs and such. What a lovely, lovely atmosphere. As my own chocolate eyes observed the beautiful display, I idly wondered, who else could be watching this? I can imagine the doctor drinking a cup of tea and looking out his window. Nina and Liz come out of their store and home to sit in the fields together. Little Hoshi wouldn't notice much, but he would be playfully yapping at the waves like before. Ann and Michael would exit the junk shop to watch it, and maybe they would be reminded of the lady who once blessed their family. Ellen and Hank would chat and watch it at the table while Blue would be content to gaze at it from the fields. All the animals, and the plants and people. Maria… Mayor Theodore… Bob, Ray, Gwen, Woody, Joe… Kurt…I wonder how Kurt would respond to such a lovely show? The aspiring Café owner, Carl, would this touch him? How many people would realize their dreams? And Jamie, what would he be thinking of?

What… would…

"Kachi! Kachi!"

"Kachi! Wake up!"

"Yeah, wake up!"

"Yeah!"

Blearily, I opened my eyes. Blackness and shadows greeted them. Was it… night already? A little face appearing right before my nose shocked me into sitting up straight.

"Harvest Sprites?" I asked as I sat up against the tree.

"Yeah! We want to show you something!"

"Yeah!"

"What is it?" I replied to their exuberant exclamations. (Haha, best alliteration EVER)

"Close your eyes!"

"Close 'em, yeah! Think of the Harvest Goddess!"

Obediently, I closed my eyes and thought of not the statue but… the lady I saw in my dream! That was her, wasn't it? Powerful, powerful eyes, and yet… so gentle… There was a… what was that? A melody began to form in my head… That instrument was unfamiliar to me…

"Whenever you close your eyes and concentrate on her like this, you'll be able to see if you have enough notes!"

"Enough memories!" Chorused another.

I saw five notes come pop into my vision. I reached out my hands, surprised that I could, and caught the first rainbow-ish bubble I saw. The note struck something in me, which I felt travel up my spine. It began to form in the bubble… and, "First Step Note" was engraved upon it. There was also a "Cooking Note", "Night Owl Note", "Sun Note" and… hey! "Poor Note?!?"

"You have five!" Chirped a Sprite.

"That means… well, can you hear the instrument?" Asked another.

He was right, I could. I didn't know exactly what it was (Jamaican drum?), but…

"This way, you can see how many notes you have and if you hear an instrument, you should come to the Harvest Goddess's spring right away!" Said another.

"Come on!" They all chorused, and I hurried after them.

I had forgotten how powerful that spring was. I had lifted my notes high into the air, and what the sprites called a "marimba" appeared before the Goddess. For me, it was just one of those awesome things that I played in elementary school chorus class on a few occasions.

"Get more notes!" They all smiled and shouted.

I left the dancing Sprites to their fun after a nod and wave goodbye. As I traversed the path home, though, whom should I find but Jamie standing directly in my path? Based upon his expression, he had heard the music…

"Jamie," I said with a smile, "We only have forty-five left to go! Well, actually ninety-five to get absoultely all of them, but forty-five to revive her!"

He looked at me for a moment, those piercing blue eyes unreadable. What was he thinking? Did he feel guilty again? Helpless that he couldn't do anything? Or was he still angry at me…? Irritated by me? Did he still need me to… Jamie turned around after a few seconds without a word.

Hate him?

I didn't know what to say. How could he be feeling right now?

"Wait Jamie!" I asked as I stood stationary, "Please!"

He stopped… without turning around he voiced monotonously, "What?"

For some reason, that hurt more than any of his poisoned words could. I paused and contemplated before speaking. "Please," I said softly, "What's wrong?"

I was irritated, and I was getting moody again. My chest felt… hollow. I was usually able to keep from getting this feeling around anyone but my closest friends and family. You know what I mean when I saw that it's so much easier to get angry with your parents than your friends? I've always wondered about that. Is that just because you know they'll forgive you? Why was Jamie somehow included in this category, then? He could snap at any moment and never speak to me again. Why was my inner self so sure that he would forgive me, even if a moody state came over me and I said something I didn't mean?

Jamie walked away.