"Halie it's time to wake up," a voice gently sang.
"I don't think she's going to wake up," another voice whispered gently.
"Of course she's going to wake up, she's not dead," a third voice replied sarcastically.
"Would you three please shut up?" Halie groaned turning over. Her three best friends Rose, Jenna, and Sophie were all sitting on her bed, watching her. "Why are all of you here?"
"You have some explaining to do missy," Jenna answered holding out two aspirin and a glass of water. Halie sighed as she sat up and took the aspirin, ignoring the glass of water.
"What do you want to know?" she asked sullenly.
"Everything you can tell us." Halie looked at her three friends faces carefully, deciding what to say.
"Fine, but this doesn't go any further than the four of us, promise?"
"Promise," the three girls chorused eagerly.
"His name is Patrick, and up until two years ago, we were dating. On my fourteenth birthday . . . well let's say that breaking up with him wasn't a problem. However, he still expects to know where I live, and if anything happens to me that he doesn't know about or like he reacts the way you saw last night. Every year on my birthday he gives me a present and a – reminder of what I am," Halie explained emotionlessly.
"And what are you?" Sophie asked, tearing up.
"Worthless property."
"Excuse me?" Rose asked sounding completely offended.
"You wouldn't understand, even if I explained it to you."
"Maybe we would," Jenna objected.
"No, you wouldn't," Halie argued. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Until you live it, you won't understand it."
"Why did you date him in the first place?" Rose asked, still very confused.
"He was different then. Patrick was the guy every girl wanted, and every guy wanted to be. It seemed like nobody was good enough for him, he was charming and funny, and he would listen to me for hours without complaint. We dated in secret of course, nobody would have even looked at him if they knew, but I didn't care. Little things would change, he'd get angry for no reason, but then he was wonderful again.
"I would tell myself he was just having a bad day, then . . . I can't talk about this anymore." Halie hopped out of her bed and stalked to her bathroom. Sophie walked up to the bathroom door and knocked gently.
"Halie, we're sorry, please come out again."
"I'll be there in a minute," Halie replied a few moments later. She emerged slowly from the bathroom, and faced her friends.
"Wow! How did you do that?" Jenna asked coming closer to examine Halie's face.
"Make up, how else?" Halie asked laughing at her friend's reaction.
"Magic of course," Rose replied, smiling.
"Yes, well I don't want magic to solve all my problems for me. Have you three eaten? I'm starving!" without waiting for an answer Halie swept through her bedroom door and down the hall.
"She really doesn't like talking bout herself does she?" Jenna asked, not really expecting and answer.
"No," Rose answered pulling her two friends behind her as she followed Halie. They found Halie in the kitchen drinking what looked to be her second or third glass of milk. Ginny was the only other person there.
"Good morning girls, guess what we're doing today?" Ginny asked brightly.
"Shopping?" Rose asked suspiciously.
"Correct," Ginny was gleeful, almost to the point of insanity. "Now Halie, you go get dressed, and then we'll go." Halie sighed and rolling her eyes to her friends went up the stairs to get dressed. "Girls did she tell you anything?" Ginny asked once Halie was around the corner.
"Can't she hear us?" Sophie asked.
"No, I cast a spell, but she's quick," Ginny replied.
"He's her ex-boyfriend, she didn't say why they broke up, but he acts like she's his property, and she doesn't see anything wrong with that." Jenna explained.
"You're kidding!" Ginny replied, lapsing back into girl mode instead of mom mode. "How can she feel like that?"
"How can she feel any different considering her previous life?" Rose countered. That made Ginny pause and think, just then they heard Halie coming back down the stairs, so Ginny hid her emotions, flawlessly.
"Everybody ready?" Halie asked standing in the doorway. They all nodded and came to join her so she wouldn't notice the spell that had been cast. They shopped for hours, coming back only in time for supper, to find the house full of guests from the night before. "What are you all doing here?" Halie asked quite rudely as she walked through the door.
"Checking up on you," Luke Heartman replied sullenly.
"Why?" Halie asked setting down her shopping bags.
"We were worried, you know, after last night," Jessica Weasley sounded surprised by Halie's attitude.
"I told you all last night that I'm fine, nothing to worry about. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make dinner," Halie continued before anyone could ask more questions. Halie grabbed her bags, and stalked into the kitchen, everyone sitting in the kitchen vacated when they saw Halie's expression.
"Mum, why are all of you here?" Ginny asked Molly, who looked more flabbergasted then the rest of them.
"Why shouldn't we be?" Molly asked indignantly.
"Because Halie will recover from this faster if nobody fusses over her, she doesn't like the attention." Harry replied coming from the kitchen where he had just seen Halie furiously cooking. Taking the hint, most of the family left waving goodbye to Halie. In the end only the Lupins, her friends, and Molly and Arthur stayed.
"Dinner is ready," Halie announced at the study door, interrupting the hushed conversations.
"Thank you Hal," Dan replied striding quickly into the kitchen. The others followed a little less enthusiastically, but as dinner progressed they all became much more lighthearted.
"Halie, what's that on your arm?" Sophie asked when Halie's sleeve was accidentally pushed up.
"Oh, just some scratches I got last month."
"What?" Jenna asked at the same time Rose asked, "Again?" Everyone looked to Rose to see her blush in shame.
"Thanks, Rose," Halie stated sarcastically.
"Sorry," Rose replied quietly, everyone was looking at Halie expectantly.
"Sometimes I scratch myself in my sleep," Halie explained nonchalantly. "Well since all of you are just itching to talk about what craziness I'm up to, I'm going to bed." Halie kissed Ginny and Harry on the cheek,
"Good night," Harry told her as Halie left the room, she waved absently behind her.
"Rose how long has that been going on?" Lupin asked, he seemed to be concentrating very hard on something.
"Well Scorpius and I noticed it a few months ago. She made us promise not to tell anyone," she added quickly in her defense. "I don't know how often it's happened since then."
"Lupin, what are you thinking?" Harry asked watching his old professor.
"Just idle fancies," Lupin replied vaguely. Harry and Tonks exchanged a glance, they knew that tone. "School starts up again tomorrow, all of us should get going," Lupin abruptly added standing from the table. His family and the students quickly followed his lead and left. Term started the next day, and Halie found that once again her family was watching her very closely.
Weeks later Luke made his second move, cornering Halie in the library, hoping that violence wouldn't ensue. "Halie, I have a question for you," Luke began.
"No," Halie replied not looking up from her book.
"You don't even know what I'm going to ask," Luke objected.
"Heartman, next week is Valentine's, you're going to ask me out again, and my answer is no. You are my brother's best friend," Halie held up a finger to stop Luke from arguing. "Okay, I'll make this simple, and listen very closely. I DO NOT DATE!!!" Halie slammed her book shut, and stalked out of the library. Luke stood stock still in shock. Heads turned toward him to see what had happened.
"Halie, what's wrong?" Scorpius asked when Halie slammed her book down onto the dinner table.
"Heartman just asked me out again."
"Did you kill him?"
Halie laughed, "No, but I think I finally got my point across."
"Did you stab him?"
"Do you really think I'm that violent?"
"No, you're just being very vague, and I'm trying to illicit a reaction."
"Okay, well I told him, point blank that I don't date."
"Why not?"
"Did you not see my ex on new year's?"
"That jackass was your ex?" Scorpius incredulously, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. It's hard for me to trust people . . . you know, that way. It was really hard, you don't know how hard, for me to trust my family, and all of you. I don't know if I could ever trust anyone to come any closer than that."
"Hey, you don't need to justify it, and I'll put up a sign so no more guys try to ambush you," he finished flippantly.
"Thanks," Halie rolled her eyes, and shook her head. Late that night Halie lay awake in her bed, wondering what she was going to do. The full moon was coming, in two days, and she still didn't know how to combat her little side effect. Library again I suppose, she thought drifting off to sleep. Over the next few days she spent all her free time in the library pouring over books that she never let anyone see the titles of. She also had to stave off several invites from boys to go to Hogsmeade.
"Halie, why are you spending all your time in the library?" Rose asked two days after Halie had sequestered herself in the room of books.
"Just doing some research," Halie replied evasively.
"On what?"
"I'll tell you some day Rose, just not today," Halie smiled at her cousin and best friend for a moment before going back to reading yet another book. The next morning Halie woke up bleeding from several long scratches down her arms. "Not good," Halie grumbled. Her sheets had several blood stains on them, so rather than let anyone see Halie pulled the sheets off her bed and took them into the bathroom where she took a shower; then tore the sheets into long strips to create bandages for her arms.
"Hal, you okay in there?" a knock followed the voice. Halie threw the sheets into the shower a second before the door opened.
"Fine," Halie replied smiling easily. Over the next few weeks Halie became more and more withdrawn from her friends and family, the only one she would talk to was Dan, and even then it was about frivolous things. It wasn't until March that she began to join in again, laughing and talking with her friends. No one knew why she had become so isolated, and she never told anyone that it was because she was trying to learn occlumency on her own.
It wasn't until almost three months later that she found out that her weak attempts had come no where near where she needed to be. It happened one night in June a couple weeks before school ended and they all left for home. It was the most powerful full moon all year, and as Halie felt the pull of a familiar mind she decided to sneak down to the common room.
At the bottom of the stairs Halie's vision clouded, and she lost a moment of time. This frightened her she didn't know what would happen if someone came to the common room while she was there, so she broke the rules, and went out into the main school. It was cold, but she didn't care, she was too worried about what she might do to herself, or to anyone else. As Halie wandered the halls, she lost ever increasing minutes of time, eventually she found that her arms were bleeding, and there were deep gashes along her legs as well.
Fearing passing out Halie made her way to the Hospital wing, just before she arrived, her vision clouded once again, and she was trapped in a mind troubled by the past.
Nurse Peri whistled as the left the Hospital wing, to go down for breakfast, but she paused when she heard herself step into something wet. She looked down to see it was a puddle of blood, alarmed she searched for the source and found Halie lying in a pool of her own blood, there were deep wounds all over her body. "Oh dear Merlin!" Nurse Peri rushed to the girl's side. She saw Halie's eyes flutter open. "Thank goodness!" Nurse Peri tried to tend to Halie, but the girl gripped her hand fiercely.
"Don't tell my family," Halie gasped urgently.
"But – "
"Promise!" Halie demanded.
"I promise," Nurse Peri replied, then Halie's hand slipped from her grip, and she fell back into unconsciousness. Moving as quickly as she could Nurse Peri got Halie into the hospital wing, and stopped her bleeding, then she rushed down to the great hall to get the headmaster. "Professor Lupin!" Peri called out.
"Nurse Peri, I was just going down to breakfast, care to walk with me?" Lupin replied, smiling.
"Sir, I need you to come to the Hospital wing, something has happened to Halie Potter. I found her this morning lying in a pool of blood."
"What?!" Lupin asked alarmed. He followed Nurse Peri as she led him back the way she had come. "Do you know what happened?"
"No, I just had time to stop the bleeding before coming to get you. I didn't want to alarm the school."
"You did the right thing." Lupin replied, they were silent until they reached the Hospital wing.
"Ms. Potter, you shouldn't be up!" Nurse Peri scolded the girl when she saw Halie trying to get up out of her bed.
"I'm fine," Halie grumbled, still trying to push herself up.
"No you are not," Nurse Peri objected, forcing Halie to lie down again.
"Halie who did this to you? If it was a student, I must now." Lupin asked sternly.
"No, it wasn't another student, I did this." Halie added quietly.
"What do you mean?" Lupin demanded.
"Nurse Peri, could I have some food?" Halie turned to the nurse, it took her a moment, but she understood that Halie wanted to talk to the headmaster alone.
"Stay put," Nurse Peri ordered as she left to get Halie some food. Halie waited until the nurse was out of earshot before answering the Headmaster's question.
"Last night was the full moon, and I connected with your mind. The wolf's bane potion may help you keep control, but it doesn't stop you from remembering. Also, last night was the most powerful full moon of the year, so the pull was twice as strong." Lupin stared at Halie for a long minute before sinking into a chair.
"I can't believe it . . . but why didn't you scream, I didn't hear a thing, when I used to transform I couldn't – "
"I learned a long time ago, that screaming only makes things worse. I never scream." Halie gazed at professor Lupin placidly, and he couldn't understand it, most of all though was the all encompassing guilt he felt for having caused this. "It's not your fault you know. You were bitten when you were a child, you couldn't help that nor could you help the fact that there was no potion to make you safe when you were younger. We are both the victims of circumstances we were born into, blaming yourself isn't going to make anything better."
"I suppose you speak from experience."
"Yeah I guess I do. Listen, I would really appreciate it if this stayed between you, me, and Nurse Peri."
"I should tell your parents," Lupin objected.
"Please don't, I would really rather they never heard about this. And if we don't tell them they'll never know, they won't notice a few new scars."
"Nurse Peri can make sure those don't scar – noticeably."
"In a strange way, I'm proud of my scars. They remind me of where I was and the difference between where I am." Halie replied looking at her scars reflectively.
"You should stay here for the day, at least," Lupin looked at Halie sternly when she started to object. "Nurse Peri would kill me if I did anything less, and it would make my mind easier."
"Fine," Halie sighed lying back in the bed.
"Very good," Lupin encouraged her. Nurse Peri came back then with a tray of food for Halie, Lupin smiled and left the two women alone.
"So Ms. Potter, am I going to hear a satisfactory answer as to why you are covered in lacerations?" Nurse Peri asked snappishly.
"I'm afraid not Nurse Peri, but I think you should know that Professor Lupin said that I could leave tomorrow." Halie took a bite of her eggs to avoid looking at Nurse Peri, whose mouth had become a very thin line. That day was very boring for Halie, she didn't have any visitors, and Nurse Peri was occupied with other matters for the school. It took some careful engineering in the morning to get Halie's uniform to cover all of her bandages; she had taken the option of slow healing.
"Alright Ms. Potter, I think that's the best we can do," Nurse Peri announced as she finished tying Halie's tie. Halie was wearing her full winter uniform, long sleeved shirt, vest and tie, her skirt with thick tights, her shoed and school robes over everything. The only way she would have to keep her cool was putting her hair up, but it covered every bandage.
"Okay, well, I better go to breakfast. Lots of questions to answer," Halie sighed picking up her book bag.
"Be careful dear," Nurse Peri cautioned. Halie nodded, and left the room quickly. Her family and friends stared at Halie as she sat down, completely baffled as to why she was wearing her winter uniform when it was almost summer.
"Halie, where were you yesterday?" Jenna asked suspiciously.
"I wasn't feeling well so I spent the day in the hospital wing, I asked Nurse Peri not to tell anyone because I didn't want any of you to worry." Halie replied easily, and it was technically true, she hadn't been feeling well.
"Well, we did worry, we didn't know where you were so we were concerned," Sophie explained almost angrily.
"I know, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again – promise," Halie assured her friends, she went on eating, and ignored all other questions about the day before, until finally everyone gave up. That night, as promised, Halie checked in with Nurse Peri, some bandages had to be changed, and then she was free to go.
As Halie walked through the halls she got to thinking about how she could avoid her friends seeing her bandages as she got ready in the morning. Her conclusion is that she would sleep in the common room, wake up earlier than everyone else, and get ready before they all woke up. She was a little paranoid about her friends checking up on her in the middle of the night. She didn't think they would, but it was a possibility she wanted to avoid.
The next morning she woke to someone shaking her, "Halie, Halie, wake up," a familiar male voice urged.
"Scorpius?" Halie asked drowsily.
"Yeah, could you let go?" he asked, Halie opened her eyes, confused and realized that she had his pajama shirt in a vice like grip.
"Oh, sorry," Halie released him, and then realized that her bandages were showing on her arms and legs. "Crap," she groaned, then sat up.
"Are you going to explain those?" Scorpius asked gently.
"Let me get dressed first," Halie replied. She rushed off to her dorm room and was back within ten minutes. "So do you want the how or the why?"
"Both," Scorpius replied smiling indulgently.
"I did this to myself because I connected with a werewolf's mind on the night of the strongest full moon of the year." Halie explained succinctly.
"That's why you were in the hospital wing the day before yesterday?" Halie just nodded. "You're not going to tell anyone else are you?"
"No I'm not, in fact none of you would have known if you hadn't gotten up so early this morning."
"I promise to keep the secret, but I do it under protest."
"Understood," they shook hands with mock formality, and Halie smiled slightly at the silliness. It was another week before the bandages came off, and then the summer holiday was just around the corner. Her friends were going off to far off exotic places with their family, so Halie would be left at home, which she almost preferred. The last week at school passed slowly for most of the students, it was almost too quick for Halie, but finally the last week of school came. A lively train ride home followed and then, it was summer.