Shoebox of Lies

By GirlX

Chapter Six

No one got the Title refrence (although that thing about Aragorn and Legolas was a cool guess). It's actually the name of a Barenaked Ladies song (which is actually a group of fully clothed Canadian men). One of my most favorite bands. :D Anyway, here's the long awaited tenth chapter. Enjoy!

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Jack glared up at the worried woman as she re-entered the room. "Wot the hell just happened?"

"Al kidnapped Will. Dana is gonna freaking KILL ME." Mare moaned, slumping onto the bed.

"Another instance of Will taking the top spot in a woman's heart. How very unexpected." Jack muttered.

"Is that all you're worried about?" Mare replied. "The fact that some fangirls prefer him to you?"

"Yes."

Mare rolled her eyes. "Okay, bigger problems here, including the fact that Dana is about to tear my head off."

"She'll only do that if she finds out." Jack replied slyly.

Mare took a deep breath. "I'm going to regret asking this…do you have a plan?"

"Aye."

Mare waited a few seconds. "Which would be?"

"I'll only tell you if you take me along." Jack replied. "It's a fair trade."

"You son of a-"

"Do you want my plan or not?" Jack cut her off.

"…Yes, damnit."

"Alright then. When Dana comes into check up on the situation, I'll say Will fainted from the stress and is now asleep. You suggest that I say with him while the two of you go to the wossname-"

"Renaissance Festival."

"Aye, that. Then you sneak me along and the two of us will get back young Turner while Dana isn't looking, and return home at the end of the day with you, savvy?"

"And you're not going to try anything funny?" Mare asked skeptically.

"Not even remotely humorous." Jack said seriously.

"I don't think it's a good idea that you come along."

"Well if you'd rather I tell Dana what transpired in her absence-"

"Alright! You can come. But so help me God, if you try even the slightest bit of trickery with me I'll…I'll…do something of a fairly unpleasant nature!" Mare struggled vainly to find a proper threat.

"…Right."

-

The psychological dust kicked up from being kidnapped had finally settled back down in Will's mind. He was taking survey of the wondrous carriage Al was piloting. The tops of trees were visible from the small part of the window he could see. Al was talking about all the shows and events the Queen's party would be attending while at the festival.

"…And we end every day with a joust on the Field of Honor. Then we'll head back to Dana's." She finished.

"I don't suppose there's any real danger in that." Will murmured.

'Even if there were, I'm in no position to do the slightest thing about it.' He thought glumly. At least he was no longer to terrified to move or speak.

"The only problem is how to carry you around without letting anyone see you…" Al frowned slightly. "Will, if I had you in the open, could you mostly hold still? No huge flailing movements I mean."

"I think so." Will replied.

"Then maybe I can put you into the queen's basket, since I'll be holding it." Al said. "You'd have a great view of everything and if you needed to hide you could just duck down"

"Um…alright." Will said unenthusiastically. Al was much to excited to notice the blacksmith was still fairly disoriented by the whole situation.

"And I can slip you a piece of fried turkey leg if you get hungry."

"What?"

"You're gonna like it." Al grinned. "In fact, I think there are a ton of things here you'll get a kick out of."

-

By the time Dana had finished toasting the waffles and pouring the juice, Mare and Jack were chatting innocently.

"Where's Al? Did she leave already?"

"Aye."

Dana spotted the lump in Will's bed. "What happened to him?"

"Fainted." Mare replied. "The fawning was just to much for him."

"Well, I suppose it's the best I could have hoped for." Dana sighed, handing one plate to Mare, and a saucer with a waffle segment to Jack. The Pirate, already familiar with the edible delights of Dana's era, eagerly dug in.

"Hey, leave some of that for Will when he wakes up." Dana cautioned.

"Yeah, since you're gonna stay anyway." Mare added a tad overtly.

"I don't see why I have to stay." Jack argued, trying to gloss over Mare's performance.

"I'm not having this fight again." Dana replied. "And it's about time we got dressed."

Dana opened her closet and took out a leather bodice. Jack's eyebrows rose.

"Red dragons on black leather? Very stylish, might I say."

"Matt bought it. He has a matching Pendragon." Dana replied.

"May I at least see you in this outfit if I'm to be denied the festival?" Jack wheedled.

Dana sighed, but nodded. "I suppose I can give you that."

She gathered up a few more articles of clothing and accessories, including a plain tri-corner and an obviously fake (at least to Jack) pistol.

"Going with a nautical theme are we?"

"You haven't seen the best part." Dana said. She opened a small wooden box on her dresser and drew out a huge golden coin on a chain.

"Is that-"

"It's a replica." She replied, fastening the cursed Aztec gold around her neck. "I'm not gonna turn into a zombie."

"A wot?"

"Never mind."

While they spoke Mare had gotten her own renaissance gear together. "I'm gonna change."

"I'm not changing in here either." Dana squinted down at Jack. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Can't blame a man for his natural instincts Love."

"That's gonna change in nineteen seventy or so." Dan replied as the two exited the room.

Jack took the opportunity to finish the waffle and hide the saucer. It wasn't as if Will would complain.

After ten minutes Dana and Mare re-entered, completely decked out in festival gear.

"The sword is a tad overt, but otherwise you look suitably piratical." Jack nodded in approval.

"Coming from you that's a great compliment." Mare grinned forcefully. She was still pissed at the captain, but needed to play 'adoring fan girl' until they were at the festival.

Jack eyed Dana's pronounced cleavage. "Very nice indeed."

"Watch it." She said. "And while we're gone, just stay in here. Will needs to be filled in about the Dogs, my parents, and pretty much everything else about modern life."

"Aye, I'll 'fill him in'." Jack replied. He was starting to pick up quite a lot of her modern terms.

"Good. We'll be back in about five hours." She placed a plastic baggie with roast beef onto the dresser. "That should hold you guys over from lunch till dinner."

"Its much appreciated." Jack added, lying back onto his bed.

"Okay. See you later." Dana took one last glance around the room to ensure there were no overt dangers and left with Mare in tow. As Dana got into the car Mare smacked her forehead.

"I left my purse! I'll be right back."

"Uh-huh." Dana replied, occupied with finding her Wicked CD.

Mare scurried back into the house. Jack stood, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Wot took so long?"

"That was thirty seconds!" Mare picked the leather satchel up and held it to the dresser.

"Honestly?" Jack pleaded.

"I don't have anywhere else to hide you." Mare replied. "If you wanna go this is the only way."

Jack gulped. "I hadn't thought about that."

"If you wanna stay here-"

"No, no, that's alright!" Jack waved his hands about. "It's fine."

He stepped into the satchel.

"Okay, now just be quiet!" Mare hissed as she eased it to her side. Jack found himself jostled by loose coins and other womanly brick-a-brack in the darkness.

'Maybe you should have thought this through a little more.' His conscious spoke up.

'You have a very annoying habit of speaking about twenty seconds too late.'

'You know what they say about hindsight.' It responded cheerfully.

Jack sighed unhappily. This plan was not off to the best start.

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