Don't You Remember?
Chapter Ten - Pretend It's Okay
Author's Note: Thank you everyone for the amazing response to this story! It's been really fun to write and plan out and I hope you like where it goes - I feel like I have a lot to live up to now (In a good way!) These chapters might get a little bit longer now because there will be a lot happening to keep the story moving and start tying things together. As always, thank you for the reviews, likes and favorites - the support keeps me going! Please enjoy!
Beth returned to the room before Daryl got back, her insides jumping with the information she'd heard from Lori. She couldn't sit still, so instead she wandered around the room, noting the familiarity of it from when she'd been in the hospital. A few things were different though - she noticed some of Daryl's things next to his bed on the table.
Curiously, she explored, finding that he had an extra pair of hospital socks, a bottle of Gatorade, an iPhone with a plain black case that sat silent, and a magazine that one of the nurses must have bought for him: Outdoor Life with the headline Bowhunting Prep: 5 Drills to Prepare You for Your Best Bow Season Ever! She laughed at that, like Daryl needed a magazine to tell him how to shoot a bolt.
She picked it up, curious to flip through the pages, just to see what they held, and from it slipped a small piece of paper she recognized as the one she'd written her cell phone number on and her necklace that he'd shown her just the other day. She'd meant to ask him about it, but hadn't got the chance to. She still had his bandana with her, tied to her wrist. It was a habit now - she didn't leave the house without it.
She fingered the necklace and the piece of paper, smiling to herself and then tucked them back into the pages, replacing the magazine where she'd found it.
"Hi," came a gruff voice behind her, startling her, so that she gave a small squeak of surprise, her face flushing like she'd been caught doing something wrong.
"Sorry," she said instinctually, turning to face Daryl. "I was just…"
"It's okay." He was standing up on his own - no wheelchair. He looked stronger - more Daryl-like, she thought. Square shoulders that led their way into rippled muscles visible beneath that still ridiculous hospital gown they'd given him. This time he had pajama pants on and she let her eyes linger on them a little longer than she thought she should have. She would have never thought she'd see Daryl in anything other than dirty denim or blood-spattered leather.
He came towards her, slowly, not really looking at her, his focus on the bed, so she jumped out of the way, unsure if she should help him or not. She decided against it, knowing his temperament and came to sit in the chair next to the bed.
"How was the cafeteria?" Daryl grunted as he settled into the bed.
"Well," Beth started, feeling excited, "I saw Lori. She said Rick was in a coma - for the past two years. He woke up, just the other day - here!" She looked at him, her eyes shimmering with excitement. He brought his gaze up to hers, a hint of excitement visible behind them. She felt a little surge of satisfaction settle in her belly. "She said he was upset - yellin' about stuff. They had to knock him out again to keep him stable. Oh Daryl," she cried, unable to help herself. "I got a feelin' he remembers too."
"Alright, alright," Daryl replied, putting his hands out to pause her. "We don't know anythin' yet. Let's just work with what we got right now and not move too quick."
"What we got?" Beth questioned him. "We don't have anythin' to work with."
"The necklace. The bandana," Daryl reminded her. "Those are things."
"But we don't know what they mean!" she exclaimed. "You still haven't told me anythin' about how you ended up here!" she said a little louder than she'd meant to. "You haven't said much of anything at all."
Daryl looked down at his hands, his face looking slightly sad, slightly guilty. She felt bad instantly. Maybe he hadn't been ready. Maybe something really terrible had happened to him that made him end up here. Beth - she hadn't remembered much of anything except the anger she'd felt towards Dawn - then she'd woken up. It hadn't been so bad.
The silence was there again, but this time it bothered Beth and she wanted to say something to make it go away, but instead she kept her eyes on Daryl and watched the wheels turn in his head as he tried to think of what to say. She wanted to apologize but she also wanted to pry for information, unsure of what the solution was between the two.
And then, finally, he spoke.
"When you died," he started, looking up at her, his stare piercing and unwavering. He was looking - no, gazing at her, in a way she hadn't seen him do before. Like he still couldn't believe she was there. "It was horrible. That police lady, she shot you. Right in the head." He brought his index finger up to his temple to show her.
Following his lead, Beth brought her hand up to touch her forehead, her fingertips grazing her skin, trying to find something. Any indication that what Daryl was saying was true - but, there was nothing. No broken skin, no scar - hell, there wasn't even a scratch. Nothing to indicate she'd been shot point blank in the brain.
"It happened so quick - we couldn't do anythin'. I thought at first, you might be alive. You looked like you were sleeping. But the blood," he shook his head. "There was so much blood."
"Daryl," Beth said, her voice shaky, "You don't have to," she wanted to say go on, but the truth was that she wanted to know. She wanted to hear what happened after she'd gone, so she let let him continue.
"I lost you," he said. "They stole you right outta my hands and it was my fault you died and I didn't know what to do after. Had to explain to Maggie what happened. Had to go on, push through, pretend it didn't matter." Her own words, echoed from his mouth. "When I lost you, I…" he paused, shaking his head, like he couldn't find the words.
And then, like he'd realized he'd gone too far, he cleared his throat and met her gaze again. "I'd just lost so much. The prison. The funeral home. You. I sorta gave up." He said it in an embarrassed sort of way, looking away from her, towards the opposite wall.
"Stopped carin'. Stopped trustin' everyone. Noah, he brought us up to Virginia. There was a town called Alexandria. Things seemed like they might be okay, for everyone else, but for me - everythin' kinda stopped." He let out a slow breath through puckered lips, looking back at Beth, finally meeting her eyes. Blue on blue, a steady gaze, both of them feeling something, a flighty feeling in their bellies, but neither of them knowing what it meant.
Beth had a sudden urge to be closer to him. To touch him, be next to him, to feel his skin with hers - embrace him with her arms, but she didn't dare move towards him now. Daryl didn't respond to things the way that Beth did, she knew that - but she couldn't help but want it.
"But you're here now," she said slowly. "With me." She didn't want to pry. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself. "Tell me how you got here."
She peered up at him apprehensively, through her eyelashes, but he didn't meet her gaze.
"Things got bad. We met some bad people. Got in some bad situations." He looked back at her again, his eyes boring into her. His gaze was penetrating - intimidating almost, but he looked somber. "We lost people. I think..." he swallowed, "I think I died too."
Beth felt like crying as she looked at him. He was real, in front of her. This world, this place - the details of it, the smells and sounds, the time, it was all real. As real, maybe even more real, than the world she'd left behind.
"So, where are we then?" she heard herself asking.
Daryl brought a strong hand up to rub his shoulder absentmindedly. "Dunno," he replied. "Can't be heaven or I wouldn't be in so much pain from that damn surgery. Can't be hell cause, well," his face flushed ever so slightly, "you're here."
She forced a small smile at him, but her mind was spinning, her thoughts jumbled, and the tears did come, but she brushed them away quickly with her fingers.
"We should find Rick," she said impulsively, breaking the silence. "Talk to him too. Maybe he can help us piece more of this together."
"When the time is right," Daryl said steadily.
"But he could remember," Beth breathed.
Daryl nodded. "I know. But, Lori said he's knocked out, yeah?"
"Yeah," Beth answered, feeling slightly frustrated.
"So we gotta wait for him to wake up anyhow," he said very rationally. "Don't know how long it will be, but at least we know he'll be at the hospital for a few days. After two years out in a coma, he ain't goin' nowhere."
Beth sighed loudly, knowing what was coming. When Daryl was angry, he was anything but rational, but at all other moments, he was the most rational person she knew. In the moment, she was angry at him for it, even though she knew he was right.
"Alright," she said slowly.
"You," he said forcefully, "Gotta get back home and pretend everythin's okay. Talk to Hershel about that job. Go to work tomorrow. Should be out tomorrow night or early the next day. Then, we can deal with Rick. Might be nice for him to see some friendly faces." He gave her a little smile then, and she smiled back, the butterflies escaping again.
"You think he remembers?" Beth urged.
"We'll see," he replied, but she knew him better that he thought she did. She could tell that Daryl thought Rick remembered too.
It was late afternoon when Beth got back to the farm. She could smell fresh biscuits baking the minute she'd stepped out of the car and she knew instantly it meant that a guest was coming for dinner.
Glenn.
She raced into the house, feet on fire, passing Annette in the kitchen and ran up the stairs to Maggie's room. The door was barely open, but she pushed in anyway having known no boundaries with her sister after the world had come to an end.
In this world though, Maggie was pressing different outfits against her figure in a mirror, turning sharply as Beth flew into the room.
"Don't you knock?" she asked with a frown, turning back towards the mirror.
"Sorry," Beth said, flopping down on Maggie's bed. "Glenn's comin' tonight?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
She saw Maggie grin in the mirror. "Yeah," she answered. "And I'm nervous as all hell."
"Oh, don't be," Beth said, watching her sister. "He'll be fine."
Maggie turned to smile at her and Beth felt small again. Back at the farm. The little sister, watching the big sister admiringly. She questioned her strength again, almost forgetting who she had been. Would it really be that easy to forget? The confidence she'd build with Daryl and at the hospital? She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting that part of her to stay with her forever. She was almost afraid she'd lose it.
"Purple dress?" Maggie held up a lavender sundress against herself, "or yellow?" Another, similar, sunflower yellow dress came up in front of it.
"Purple," Beth chose, though she knew Glenn would like any dress Maggie chose. The old Glenn hadn't ever seen Maggie all dolled up in a dress anyhow, and he loved her just the same. "Won't matter anyhow. You look good in everythin'."
Maggie looked over her shoulder at her sister and smiled. "Well thanks Bethie - ain't you awfully sweet?"
Beth shrugged. "Gonna go help Momma with dinner. See you down there?"
But Maggie was already on her phone, responding to a text, so Beth left the room, closing the door behind her, feeling happy, but like she was missing something. Someone. The words from earlier today with Daryl, echoing in her head.
Annette refused Beth's help as she puttered around the kitchen, ushering her into the living room with Hershel, which Beth appreciated. She wanted to get his ear about Daryl taking the job as the new ranch hand.
"Hi Daddy," Beth said, sitting on the couch next to him. Hershel had his head buried in a book, Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. She thought it an odd book for him to have chosen - Hershel was more of a William Faulkner advocate than anything, so a story about a girl falling through a mirror into another world seemed odd - until, maybe it didn't seem so odd after all.
"How ya doin' Bethie?" he asked her looking up from behind the pages, his reading glasses having slid down his nose.
"Good," she said, bringing her knees up, so that the heels of her feet were on the couch. "Great, in fact." She paused for a minute, looking around the room. It was familiar. She'd grown up here - but it still felt slightly foreign to her after so much time away.
"Glad to hear," Hershel responded.
"Listen, I forgot to tell you the other mornin', someone called for that ranch hand job. Told him to come around next week to meet with you and Shawn."
Hershel's eyes lit up. "I told Maggie that people still read the newspaper!" he exclaimed. "She was tryin' to convince me to post some ad on the Internet. Then we'd have God knows who showin' up on our land." He smiled. "I already like whoever this is, if he still reads the paper for his news." He nodded with finality, as if he'd already made up his mind and Beth smiled, knowing she'd planted a good, firm seed in Hershel's mind.
There was a knock at the door and Hershel stiffened on the side of her and Beth turned around where she sat and Annette peeked her head out of the kitchen, but all of them heard Maggie upstairs, scrambling out of her room and down the stairs to get her fingers on the door, so that she would be the person who would open it.
Maggie pulled the door open and everyone pretended to resume their normal behaviors, while still listening towards the front door.
"Hi," Maggie breathed, a hint of panic and a hint of excitement in her voice. "Come on in."
"Thanks," Beth heard Glenn say as he stepped into the house. Hershel got up from the couch and Beth followed suit, heading towards the front foyer.
"Glenn," Maggie brought him over towards Hershel. "This is my Daddy - Hershel."
Hershel eyed Glenn up and down and Glenn looked at him nervously. He was wearing plain khaki slacks and a blue button down shirt, his hair shorter than Beth ever remembered it being. His face was still handsome and young looking - the old world had aged even Glenn's features. He looked noticeably nervous as he and Hershel shook hands.
"This is Beth," Maggie introduced them and Beth smiled widely at him. "I believe you two have already met."
"Hi," Beth said to him, almost apologetically. He nodded at her and then he and Maggie turned towards the kitchen to greet the rest of the family.
Dinner was delicious, as it always was in the Greene house. Annette Greene was a stellar cook and tonight was no different. The menu featured fried chicken and biscuits with gravy. Plates and plates filled with food. Glenn's nerves seemed to settle and Maggie seemed to smile more and Hershel stopped asking questions the minute Glenn and Maggie's eyes met and she seemed to melt into her chair.
Everyone laughed and ate and enjoyed themselves and even though Beth was happier than she'd been since she'd woken up in this world, she noticed there was an empty chair next to Shawn and she couldn't help but think and hope and pray that soon enough Daryl would be the one to fill it.
The next morning was Sunday and Beth was woken by a loud knock at her door. "Beth honey?" It was Annette. "We're leavin' in twenty minutes."
That was right - it was Sunday. And on Sunday's the Greene's went to church.
Beth hadn't been to church in what felt like years. She'd remembered the chapel being one of the last things left open once everything else seemed to have shut down and disappeared, and Hershel and Annette and their kids went to pray to the Lord up until the very end. They kneeled in the pews, along with anyone else who had shown up, the number growing fewer by the day, reciting verses from the Bible and Beth had remembered how very pointless she thought all of it seemed.
But, she was going to listen to Daryl and pretend things were okay and play along with the world and go to church. She chose a white sundress and braided her hair, making sure to stuff her wallet and her cell phone into her bag before she climbed into the car with the rest of her family as they made their way down to the chapel only a few miles away from the farm.
Andrea was there, and Beth took the opportunity to run up to her quickly and tell her she'd be coming in to work today. She looked relieved and grasped Beth on the shoulders, squeezing her into a half-hug before she said, "See you later," and wandered off towards a pew.
Beth sat next to Maggie who sat next to Shawn who sat next to Hershel who sat next to Annette, reciting hymns and prayers and shaking hands with their neighbors saying "Peace be with you," until the service was over. Beth was going through the motions, not really listening, her thoughts wandering off into the distance until she realized she was still thinking about Daryl.
Her cheeks flushed, realizing the inappropriateness of her thoughts, but he couldn't help herself. There was something there and she couldn't shake it from her mind.
"When I lost you, I…" he had paused, not knowing what to say next. She wanted to know what he was going to say next. She wanted to know what happened to him, how he felt. Was he in pain? Had he missed her? Or was he happy he didn't have to look out for her anymore? Part of her wondered if maybe he felt these feelings - this confusion, too.
"Beth?" Maggie's voice hissed in her ear. "Go on," she said to her and Beth looked around, realizing the crowds of people were moving from the pews and out towards the doors at the back of the church.
"Oh," she said, surprised. "Sorry."
When they got back to the farm, Beth got into her own car and made her way to the coffee shop, parking in front of it, seeing Andrea inside, scrubbing the counters clean. She instantly felt guilty, knowing she'd left her here on her own for the past few days to take care of the shop while she'd been off seeing Daryl. She'd needed that time though, and knew, in the old world, the old Andrea would have understood that.
The bell chimed as she entered the cafe, announcing her presence and Andrea looked up with a smile. "Hi Beth," she said gladly, her fists on her hips as she took her in. "Glad you're back."
"Glad to be back," Beth said, feeling like it was the right thing to say.
"How's everything going? How are you feeling?"
Beth had almost forgotten she'd even been in an accident. So much had happened since then. "I'm good," she said. "Getting better."
Andrea nodded at her kindly. "Good. Well, grab an apron behind the counter and get on makin' that coffee if you don't mind. I'll finish wiping down the tables."
Beth did as she was told, finding a forest green apron behind the counter and draping it over herself, typing the strings behind her back to cover her outfit. She took a bag of coffee beans and after finding the grinder, poured the bag inside of it, listening to it make smaller grinds from the beans to fill the coffee filters with.
The bell jingled again and Beth looked over, across the counter to the door.
"Hi Philip!" Andrea said cheerfully. "How're you doin' this morning?"
"Andrea," a solid voice said, sending instant chills through her body. "Good morning. I'm doin' just fine. Lookin' for a cup of coffee."
"Well, that's somethin' my girl Beth can help you with."
The man came towards the counter then and Beth looked up, her mouth dropping as she realized who it was. It was the man who had taken a sword to her father's neck. The man who had destroyed her whole world. Or at least the world she'd left behind.
It was The Governor, and he smiled at her like he knew her.