Chapter Nine: The Decision
It's five o'clock in the morning and I still can't sleep.
It's hard to believe that one year has passed since the Winter Ball – one year since he left.
I know I've always acted like I hated him. But ever since the Winter Ball, I've felt different. Not only do I feel like I've lost someone important, but I've also missed something important.
I don't understand how I could feel this way for one whole year!
The S.A. in itself is different. No, I'm still number two, because Takishima is still taking classes at our school, only he's in London. But, the environment is very different. Akira still makes snacks and Tadashi still chases after her when she takes the snacks away from him. Jun and Megumi still cling to Ryuu. Now that I think about it, I'm the only one who's changed.
Gah! I turned on my side.
My brain is buzzing a question that my heart refuses to hear. I sat up and entwined my fingers with my hair. I squeezed, so that the slight pain I feel could remove the buzzing in my head. But, even that cannot help me.
I dropped back and stared at the ceiling. Maybe by gazing at it, I could simply get lost and drift to sleep. No, I've tried it. By staying still, the buzzing only became louder.
With my patience wearing thin, I decided to get out of bed. Unconsciously picking up my phone on my dresser and dialling a random number, I waited for someone to answer. I leaned on the wall, my left arm across my torso clutching my side. I was shaking. I didn't know why, but I was nervous. Nervous that who might pick the answer may be someone I don't want to talk to. The phone rang for a long time. Then again who else would be awake at five in the morning? I was about to cut the call, but to my surprise, someone answered.
"Hanazono-san, is there anything I could help you with?"
The deep voice and the slight displeasure of knowing it was me on the other line, it was definitely Aoi.
"Oh, I'm sorry," I started, "I was just trying to uhm...ah..."
What was I trying to do again? Damn it.
"Well, if I cannot be of service to you then I bid you sweet dreams," he said sternly. Aoi was about to cut the line til I blurted out "Wait!"
"Yes?" he yawned
"Can you tell me whether Takishima is in London with his grandfather?"
"That is classified information. The Takishima Corporation does not wish to reveal such information regarding their top executives lightly."
"I see," my heart suddenly fell. "Sorry for bothering you this early in the mor-"
"But," he interjected, "for you, an exception can be made."
I felt my heart pound hard, as if marching along to the beat of a happy song.
"Yes, Kei-sama is in London with his grandfather finalizing the papers for takeover in six years."
"I see." So he really is staying there then.
"He is also engaged to Lilibeth Masters, the heiress to one of the coporation's largest firms."
I think my heart just skipped a beat. Why should it?
"But, the problem is that this is Kei-sama's fifth engagement in one year, and since his grandfather will not have any more of his engagements broken off, the wedding will be next week."
"That soon?" Yes, I think my heart just stopped permanently.
"The head of the corporation needs to have a spouse as tradition."
"Is that all that's happened so far?" I asked, hoping there would be no more news just to compose myself.
"Yes, that is all," he replied.
"Thank you, Aoi" I sighed in shaken relief.
I closed the phone and threw it on the floor. I leaned my head on the wall behind me. I slid down into a crouching position.
I am pathetic.
No questions asked. I am stupid. Why did I just do that?
My body works without consent to my mind, but works in synch with my heart. I place my hand over my chest. I can hear my heart pounding. What do you want me to do? I've been trying to listen for a year, but you haven't given me an answer. I don't know what to do. I'm about to lose one of the most important people in my life and all you could do - all I could do is to stand still and watch as the events just fly by me.
You're an idiot, Hikari. Remember, you brought this on yourself. All these years, you called him an idiot. But in the end, it was just you unable to see how things really were. Everyone else could see, but why couldn't you? It was because you close your eyes to everything. You never saw past beyond your own nose, past your own ambitions, that you shut yourself away in your own world.
It's time for you to wake up and finally open your eyes. One year has passed. Only you would know what to do.
I guess even my heart is pissed off with me. I laughed weakly at the thought.
With my head throbbing and my heart about to burst out of my chest, I crawled back into bed and slept. Surprisingly, this night's sleep seemed bearable. But, I'm afraid what I might see if I close my eyes and drift off. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. I'm just too afraid. Well, it's high time I face my fears. I close my heavy eyes and drift off.
Everything was black. Nothing. Then, a table with a lodge light above it appears. Two chairs were placed opposite each other. I took a seat in one of the chairs. I looked around for anyone I knew - or anything for that matter. Still nothing.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back to see nothing. I looked in front to find someone seated opposite me. Hair short hair accented her face and the mole on her cheek gave a feminine touch to her rather tomboyish features. Akira!
I opened my mouth to greet her, but no sound came out. My hands reached for my throat. I tried coughing, not even that helped. I lost my voice.
"Hikari," she started. "Why?"
Why? I don't know why? Why what, exactly?
"Why do you act that way?"
What way?
"Why do you act so childish?"
Childish? I don't think I do. I wanted to protest, but I had nothing to say - literally speechless.
She stood up and started circling the table, my eyes only followed. She stopped behind me.
"Don't look back," she said. I followed.
She cleared her throat. "Now," I heard a man's voice, "why do you always act so carefree?" I know that voice – Tadashi!
What do you mean by me acting so carefree? That's you! I could only answer them back in my head – pathetic isn't it.
I looked back only to see someone different. Her long wavy hair that ends just below her bust and her soft child-like features. Megumi had appeared. I surveyed her carefully only to find that she does not have her magic slate board. Oh no! Her voice, i—it's explosive – literally.
She opened her mouth, and my hand flew automatically to cover it. I shook my head vigorously. Her brows furrowed and she slapped my hand away from her face.
"Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot say?" she said in a soft spoken manner. Although you can sense the anger burning inside of her. I shouldn't have done that.
"Hikari, why do you always assume?"
Assume what?
"Why do you always assume that what you see is always true?"
I stared at her.
"Why did you assume that if I spoke, everything around you would explode?"
I didn't mean to assume, but isn't that how it's always been?
"Why do you assume that Tadashi is the only one that acts so carefree in the S.A.?"
Why isn't he the only one? I don't believe I act all that carefree. Maybe I do.
I looked away from Megumi and when I looked back, I saw Ryuu.
"Good evening, Hikari," he greeted me with a smile.
I smiled back, finally someone who wouldn't attack me. At least, that's what I think.
"I'm here to give your voice back." He snapped his fingers and I felt something warm in throat.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hi," I replied. Yes! My voice is back.
He snapped his fingers again and a chair appeared facing me. He sat down and crossed his legs.
"So, how are you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"How have people been treating you in this dream so far?"
"Well, they all seem to be angry at me. I don't remember doing anything to offend them. I wouldn't do anything to offend them. Well, maybe I offended Megumi for covering her mouth thinking this whole place would explode. I think that's about it."
"Really?" his right brow rose slightly.
"Well, I guess there's me thinking that Tadashi's the only one acting so carefree."
"Is that all?"
"Well, there's Akira saying that I act childish. I don't really think that she minds that. But I guess it's something I've done wrong."
"Right," Ryuu said, "that's all right?"
"Wait," I thought for a while. I didn't do anything to Ryuu or Jun. So who else? I'm so stupid. Taki –
" –shima" Ryuu finished.
"He is never in your mind," he said.
"What are you talking about Ryuu? You know he's always on my mind. I always want to beat him."
"Yes, him," he placed emphasis on the last word. "'Beat him, be ahead of him, him, him, him, him!"
"What do you mean?" I asked perplexed.
"It's always about him and never about Kei," he said with finality. "To put it simply, he is never in your mind, it's always him."
"Wha –" I'm still not getting it.
"You see," I think he's getting pissed, "it's always about beating Takishima the rival, but it was never about knowing Takishima the person. Tell me, when was the last time you actually took the time to know Takishima the person?"
"I always give him gifts on his birthday because he's not only my rival but my best friend. I know what he's going through but I can't say I've ever felt the same because we were always so different – even now."
"True, there are those. But notice, isn't he significantly nicer to you?"
"You're kidding right? Him, nice?" I retorted.
"Again, that is Takishima the rival. What about the person?"
I opened my mouth to talk, but he raised his finger. I immediately closed my mouth.
"Think," he said.
I just thought like he said. I can't think of anything. That's not true!
"Given up?" he taunted.
"I," I started, but I ended up shutting my mouth again.
One thing I can say is that no matter what I do, no matter how I hurt him, he still comes back to me. No matter how much agony he's going through inside, he doesn't show it. Only because he knows I'll worry about him and he doesn't want that. He wants me to be as I am. He never wants to see me frown and I don't want to see him that way either.
"Congratulations," Ryuu said. He stood up and hugged me.
"You finally get it." That voice, that's not Ryuu's or Jun's or anyone else in the S.A. at school.
He slid his arms off my body and placed his hands on my shoulders.
Light was coming from behind him making him unrecognizable, but I know who he is.
"Hikari," he kept repeating my name over and over as his face came closer to mine. I closed my eyes. I still heard my name only, this time the voice was different.
"Hikari!"Somebody shouted my name. I woke up to see Jun nose-to-nose with me.
"Finally," he said as he pulled away, "you're awake!"
"Jun," I said, "what're you –"
I looked behind him to find Ryuu and Megumi. Ryuu greeted me while Megumi scribbled.
"What're you guys doing here?"
"Not just us," Jun started.
"Akira's helping your mom with breakfast and Tadashi's down there with them," Megumi scribbled.
"Really!" I hurried out of my room and headed down stairs.
"My, my, my! If only my daughter were as talented as you in house work I think I could die peacefully," my mother really likes rubbing that in my face.
"Oh, no, your daughter is way more talented than I am than you think," Akira replied.
Akira flipped the pancakes and my mother flipped the omelet.
"Hey can I have some of those?" Tadashi asked holding a spoon and a fork in each hand ready to dig in.
"NO!" My mother and Akira said in unison. Both of them hit Tadashi with their spatulas at the same time as well.
Tadashi was now sucking the heat out his hands. He looked at my direction and I smiled.
"Hi, Hikadi! Goo Moning!" he said still easing the pain.
"Oh, Hikari good morning!" Akira greeted.
"why are you guys here exactly?" I asked.
"Daughter! That is no way to talk to guests who know how to cook!" My mother scolded.
"It's okay. We came uninvited anyway so it's our fault. Anyway, Aoi called us and said that you have something important to tell us."
"Aoi?"
"Yeah, didn't you guys talk last night?"
"Yes."
"So what is it you have to tell of us?"
I thought for a while. It's time I decide and here it is.
"Pack your bags guys and bring your best weapons, we're crashing at London."
"Father, your daughter's a terrorist now!"
"Oh now she's my daughter?"
A/N:
Sorry Everyone!
After a one year hiatus, I now present to you the latest chapter of "A Little More Dense". I know you guys have been waiting for it for a long time (that's an understatement), but here it is.
I just had a lot of things on my plate. But, that should not have kept me away this long. I will post the next chapter as soon as I can!
Thank you so much for all your support. :D
~randomnessonhigh