A/N: Took longer than expected, but this is still coming sooner than it might have before, so you must continue to be grateful to scarlett2u! XD (and daretochair who really pushed for this chap, ;) ) Also, thank-you SO much for all your fantastic reviews & for voting on my poll! =D LA is winning by a lot, and it makes me very happy, because I didn't realize it was so loved! =P Please continue to read & review. It does not go unnoticed. ;)
*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
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Ch.10—Multiple Dysfunction
They stared at each other head on, eyes heated, fury simmering between them. He was so angry and she was so frustrated. Both were bordering on panic.
They were so irritated with each other, more than they'd ever been in their entire relationship, that the desire to leave clawed at them with increasing speed, but the need to prove the other wrong was stronger; so they stood their ground.
After hours of fighting it out and trying to distract him from the truth, Serena drew the last card she had to play even if she knew there would be serious repercussions. She just hoped Blair wouldn't hate her after all was said and done.
"Fine, Nate. You're right. Chuck and Blair are having an affair. I didn't want to tell you, but now that I have, what are you going to do about it?"
6 hours earlier…
It started out relatively calm, but he could tell she didn't want to be there. The last time they'd been alone like this he'd nearly hit on her, and the fact that he'd sounded so urgent on the phone had clearly not been lost on her. He was surprised she had shown up.
"So, what's going on, Nate?" she asked, averting her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest. His eyes flickered. "I assume I'm not here because you need my help devising a plan to apologize to Blair."
He looked guilty when she finally looked back up at him. That confirmed her assumption, but it also tugged at her heartstrings a little. She hated to see any of her friends hurting, and Nate had perfected the puppy-dog eyes that always made her crumble.
She sighed. "I'm sorry. You don't need that right now, even if you deserve it." She offered a soft smile that he returned. "What's up?"
He gestured to the couch, but she shook her head and half way to sitting down he decided against it. Best to not repeat the previous scene, not even in similar gestures. It was best to get right to the point.
"I think Chuck and Blair are having an affair," he said simply.
Serena's lips parted. She was shocked and terrified that he would see right through her. Keeping Blair's secret had seemed so easy when she promised it earlier that day. How Nate had even begun to suspect the affair made her feel incredibly wary.
"What?" she squeaked.
He nodded, solemn. "I saw Chuck's phone today. It looks like they've been…sexting each other for weeks."
She swallowed.
He shook his head and scoffed. "I guess I should have known. He never pursued her while we were together, but Chuck's a sex-a-holic. It was only a matter of time before he…seduced her." His face crinkled up. He looked absolutely disgusted with life.
"Nate, stop-" she stepped forward quickly, catching his attention but making sure not to touch him. "This is Chuck we're talking about, your best friend? For all the gross he can be, he would not sleep with Blair right after the two of you broke up."
"Why not? He knew I was feeling less and less attached to her. I was starting to feel trapped. And even if he didn't say it outright, he knows I'm in lo-"
He froze and their eyes locked. Serena took a few steps back. The silence between them settled. It was thick, heavy and uncomfortable.
"I…I think you're overthinking this, Nate," she finally managed. "Maybe you misinterpreted those texts."
"Sexts."
She sighed. "Nate…"
His brooding gaze remained downcast.
"Why don't we go out for a drink?" she offered, regretting it almost instantly but knowing there was no way she could take it back. "Take the edge off."
"I don't think that would be a good idea."
She stiffened, remembering their last drunken encounter. Blair's angry, crying face flashed before her eyes, quickly followed by Dan's disappointed stare and flashes back of the encounter and what followed after.
"I won't get drunk," she said confidently. "In fact I don't even want to."
He raised his eyebrows.
"You need to cut loose, Nate, but I don't think I do. I'll feel better when you do."
He shook his head at her, amused, surprised and confused all at once. "What about Blair?" he asked.
Serena looked slightly panicked but then she reminded herself how happy Blair had looked today, all when the subject of Chuck had come up or he'd been in the vicinity. And technically she was helping her. Keeping Nate occupied would keep him distracted and away from suspecting Chuck and Blair as a…couple?
"I'll make it up to her tomorrow," she said smoothly.
Nate's jaw dropped in shock, but his heart swelled at the opportunity before him. He and Blair were no longer together. He wouldn't resist any longer.
"Alright," he said, smiling slowly and charmingly. "You've convinced me."
...
It had been days. Four to be precise. She hadn't had more than five solid minutes with Chuck since he hadn't spent the night Monday. Not that she should've expected him to since they'd hardly been inseparable throughout the entire day, but that had quickly become the norm ever since they started their secret affair.
She didn't expect him to quit cold turkey.
But beyond analyzing that to its torturous death was the fact that she didn't have much of Serena's attention either. They still sat together at lunch, and they talked, but when it was just the two of them, and especially when they were in public she often looked distracted. When they were alone together in her house, it was as if she always remembered something she'd forgotten to do and found herself needing to leave as soon as was possible.
It was discouraging to say the least, and the only thing that was keeping her going was the preparations for Cotillion. The ballroom classes had become more frequent, and though while no one had to have a particular partner just yet, she knew she'd have to pick one soon and it wouldn't be Chuck or Nate.
She didn't know when exactly she'd started wanting Chuck so much. She'd been in denial about it for so long that she couldn't pin down an exact moment, or even an exact date. Not even an estimate.
The truth was she was in the same dilemma over when Nate had stopped wanting her. In 7th grade, when they'd first gotten together, it hadn't seemed forced. It was just him and her and they liked each other. He knew about Serena already too; they'd all known each other since they were little kids. So it wasn't as if he couldn't choose her if he really wanted to. She supposed he could have been swayed by his parents since Serena hadn't exactly been easy to tie down then, but it hadn't felt that way. She and Nate – they had felt real.
But time passed and she noticed how Serena started to really catch his eye, much more than his own girlfriend did. When that happened, she got pushy and clingy and desperate for his attention, and it turned him off more than ever before. She tried to tone it down and he wasn't overly obvious about his interest in her best friend, so they were stable enough. They still loved each other.
Finding out from his own mouth that he'd cheated on her had been a slap in the face, a clear sign that for maybe the past year and a half they'd been faking it.
And when he couldn't tell her he loved her, she knew for sure they had.
But that didn't mean she didn't still love him, and that was why it hurt so bad.
Chuck was repulsive, arrogant, leering, shameless, void of a moral compass and any potential of maintaining a committed relationship.
But on some level he got her; he understood her like no one else did. Sometimes more than Serena.
Losing her virginity to him…it had felt so right in the moment, so perfect, like she was throwing all her dreams to the wind because she felt better that night than she ever had in her life. She felt free. She felt the way she was sure Serena did all the time – or the way she had at least, with her partying lifestyle and the trail of guys following her like puppy dogs.
When she'd woken up the next morning, reality had slammed through her. No matter how well Chuck complimented her, he was still Chuck Bass. Aside from the humiliation of how ridiculed she'd be, how she would lose everything if anyone found about this was the fact that some part of her, which she would never admit to, had wanted something to happen with Chuck. Because he'd wanted her. When he pursued her even after her one night stand, time and time again, she knew it wasn't because he just wanted to get laid or something to hold over her head or tease her about in the future if he ever needed it.
It was because he wanted her.
The kind of desire she saw in his eyes… she'd never seen that with Nate.
And that made her all the more scared, because she realized she was becoming attached to Chuck and the denial was becoming less that he didn't mean anything to her aside from the physical but more that he wouldn't want her forever.
No matter how many adoring, lustful eyes she had on her, sooner or later they always shifted to Serena, or to some other girl. Her only stability was believing that she was better, believing that everyone was jealous of her and wanted to be her, and for the most part that was true. She wasn't Queen Bee for nothing.
She didn't want to become to Chuck what she'd been to Nate. And she hated herself every time she had that thought, because she shouldn't want him to begin with.
But she did.
Which made this week all the more troubling, and made her resolve to do the very last thing she wanted to. It was repulsive, that she would actually seek the dirty specimen out when maybe it wasn't absolutely necessary.
But she was desperate.
So, crossing the courtyard, Serena, Chuck and even Nate surprisingly out of sight, she tapped him on the shoulder.
"Blair?" he squeaked, clearly shocked.
She raised her eyebrows and blinked. "Humphrey."
His jaw dropped and he was clearly unable to form any coherent thought.
She rolled her eyes and sat at the table beside him, though a good distance away.
"Where's Serena?" she demanded, more upset by that fact than that she actually had to speak to this…lower class…thing. He was on scholarship for crying out loud.
"I don't know," he said, his brows furrowed. "I thought she was with you."
She suddenly felt sick. "No…"
"Do you think she's alright?" he asked, worried.
"I'm sure she's fine." She plastered a big, beautiful, fake smile on her face. "Maybe she's studying somewhere quiet."
Dan nodded, seeming to accept that. As much as she despised him, she knew well enough this was not about Serena's well being and that the fact that neither of them had seen Serena much that day had to do with her being sick or sad. Blair would know if that was the case. She'd be the first to know.
"She did say she had a chemistry test today…" he pondered.
"Right."
"Did you study for it?" he asked, inquisitively.
"I have to go," she said suddenly, rising from her seat, because this so wasn't going to turn into an actual conversation. She did not converse with the inhabitants of Brooklyn. "Let me know if you see her."
He nodded again, but she had already started walking away, inwardly fuming.
She walked straight past her minions with no explanation. Just as she was reaching for the door, a hand grabbed her arm and her heart sped up at that moment, because she truly thought it might be Chuck and she was already preparing herself to contain the glow and giddiness that would no doubt appear instantly.
But it wasn't.
"Have you seen Chuck?"
She frowned and pulled her arm roughly away.
"Nate."
He released her and stepped back.
"Why would I have seen Chuck?" she asked, still aggravated. "And the even better question, why are you talking to me?"
He sighed. "We're all friends, Blair."
She widened her eyes and looked at him doubtfully, but he didn't take back his statement.
"I haven't seen him," she said.
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he held his tongue. She didn't bother to ask him what it was. Because he'd hurt her, and she didn't want him, and she didn't care.
But that didn't mean she couldn't be polite. Every proper lady was.
"If you'll excuse me," she said, pushing past him.
Pushy polite was still polite.
She got inside the building, made it down the hall and to her locker, bringing out the supplies she needed for her next class and analyzing herself harshly in the little mirror that stuck to the inside of her locker.
She looked up at the clock standing guard near the ceiling and sighed. She still had fifteen more minutes until the bell rang to go to classes, but no one else ever appeared in the hallway. No giggling, whispering blonde by her locker, no strong-armed, seductive brown-haired boy sliding his arm around her waist and pushing her into a dark corner to hungrily devour her lips and roughly caress her skin.
She slammed her locker door shut and headed for her next class. Early.
…
So, Serena had called her after school and told her why she'd been MIA during lunch. Apparently she was studying for their upcoming chemistry test. But she'd been with the professor due to her lack of success in class, she was actually asking for tutoring. Under normal circumstances this would've looked suspiciously scandalous, especially since she hadn't told her devoted boyfriend, but Blair wasn't about to press for details. It was clear her best friend was anxious to get off the phone, some family dilemma apparently.
She wondered if that was true.
Serena's behavior just wasn't making sense. She had to hold her tongue to ask if she had seen Chuck. She didn't want to seem needy or desperate or…well, just anything that would look odd on Queen Bee Blair Waldorf who might or might not be still hung up on her cheating ex-boyfriend.
So, Serena had hung up, promising some girl time tomorrow, Saturday, since she'd 'reluctantly' refused a sleepover tonight – Friday night, their most often frequented sleepover night.
But it was fine. It was the weekend now. She wouldn't let Serena make any more excuses.
And if Chuck didn't want her anymore, that was fine too. She'd live through it just like she did with everything else.
Six hours later, after watching Breakfast at Tiffany's three times over, the clock told her it was midnight. She found it hard to believe.
Going off of what she'd occupied herself with all afternoon and evening though, she supposed it was possible.
She was feeling lazy and depressed. Even Audrey didn't make her feel better. It would probably be best to go to bed. Tomorrow would be better, despite the fact that the last four days hadn't exactly proven that to be true. Tomorrow would be different.
If she had to she would stomp over to The Palace herself, demand Serena hang out with her and end things with Chuck – or threaten at the very least. If he was as desperate to be with her as he had been at the beginning of their affair, it shouldn't be too hard to make him more present in their day-to-day lives.
But just as she was about to switch the lamp off and tuck herself into bed, her phone went off. If it was Serena again, she decided she would be hard on her. And if it was Chuck? Well, she didn't know what she'd say. Maybe she'd hear him out – if he decided to explain himself, which honestly, she deserved at least that.
But it wasn't either of them.
It was bad. It made her feel sick. It made her want to scream. Because this wasn't supposed to happen. Not twice. Not without laying down ground rules over if they were going to be monogamous or not. And Serena – wasn't she supposed to be the devoted girlfriend to Dan? Hadn't she changed? Had she literally taken her best friend at her word when she insisted it was only physical between her and Chuck?
She didn't stop in her thought process to deny the fact that it wasn't, not to her.
With shaking fingers, she scrolled back up past the picture to the text, the Gossip Girl blast.
Hello Upper East Siders. Friday night's all the rave and I'm not the only one that thinks so. Aren't Chuck's dad and Serena's mom getting serious? What would they think to see their children in this compromising position? Chuck and Serena getting down and dirty on the dance floor in upstate New York. Sorry, Lonely Boy, guess some things never change.
-Gossip Girl
Blair slid her phone shut quickly, her fingers shaking. A moment later it buzzed and hesitantly she went to see who it was.
Serena.
Ignore.
After the buzzing stopped, it started again, and angrily she grabbed it.
Her eyes widened.
Chuck.
"Blair-" he said quickly before she could hang up on him.
"We're done," she snapped.
"No, Blair, wait-"
She shut her phone off and threw it across the room. Then she went under her covers and angrily forced herself to go to sleep, sobbing into her pillow.
…
Laughter echoed down the hall as they stumbled into their hotel suite and collapsed onto the couch.
"It's probably not good for us to be drunk," Chuck laughed, his head falling back onto the cushions.
"Someone might catch us!" Serena burst out laughing.
He laughed some more and then sighed.
"This was a good idea, S. And you know, I think we even covered up pretty well."
She raised her eyebrows in amusement at her drunk step-brother.
"Oh, yes…" she managed. Slowly though, her common sense and brain waves were starting to function again. "Though maybe next time just for one night. Not the whole rest of the week."
"Nah," he assured her. "I'm sure nothing went wrong."
It was the alcohol talking, she knew. In the morning when he'd slept it off he would probably start to worry, just like every other morning this week. Maybe it had been bad to encourage this. She would let him have this moment though. He needed it, and she did too.
"Though…" he began again, disgust starting to take over his face. "We are not ever grinding again."
She rolled her eyes, but flushed slightly. "You'd never done it before. I just wanted to show you how."
"I didn't ask you to," he insisted, though he was still slightly giddy.
"You wouldn't shut up about how you could have gotten so many more lays if you'd known how!"
He avoided her wide-eyed stare.
"And that – as I recall – you refused to attempt with any of your one-night stands because you didn't want to look stupid if you were doing it wrong." She couldn't fight the smile that crept onto her face, because it was so very amusing to see him try to fight his embarrassment and the conversation had been hysterical.
"It would have damaged my reputation," he finally said seriously, bordering scandalized.
She blinked and laughed again.
"And it doesn't even matter now. You know I only want Blair."
He'd become so serious that she was too. It was a topic she'd tried to avoid while they were away from Manhattan.
"Go show my younger self!" he said. "But…go back before I slept with Blair. You know, before she tainted me."
Despite the laughter that the latter half of his comment might have ensued, she found herself scrunching up her nose in disgust.
"Ugh. No. Your younger self was always hitting on me. I wouldn't be able to stand it."
He smirked and his eyes twinkled even as she closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch.
That was when both their phones went off.
Serena's eyelids were heavy though and refused to open, so she waved her hand around for Chuck to check her phone.
He didn't say anything for awhile, but his breathing altered.
Finally, she opened her eyes to look at him. He was staring at both of their phones, holding one each hand.
"Chuck?" she asked warily, everything inside her tensed for the worst.
"Shit," he finally cursed, a quiet harsh sound under his breath.
"What is it?" she demanded, anxious now. Her hands were starting to sweat. "Did we get the same message?" she gulped, and he looked up, well aware of what she was implying.
Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he handed her phone back to her.
Anxiously, she took it quickly and scrolled down the screen, falling back onto the couch when she saw it.
"Shit."
…
A/N: Not sure if this one will be updated consistently like before, but I promised an update to a friend awhile ago and I promised you all two updates right away MONTHS ago, so it's my bad. Hope you enjoyed this. Please review.