Author's Note: Thanks to all who took the time to read and review. To answer some questions, I did not plan on any other characters from the books showing up in wonderland but I will definitely consider it now that it has been mentioned. I really love hearing your guys' ideas. Reviews are always welcome :) Now, brace yourself for at least six impossible thoughts, one very unlikely situation, and a pair of twins that should never have been allowed to tell such tall tales.
"Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess. "Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it."
-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 9
Hermione squinted at the bright light glaring in front of her. It felt as though her world was in slow motion and every movement was becoming just a little faster than the last. She was forced to cast her gaze downwards as the light changed to a dizzying blue tone.
The bile threatening to rise was nothing in comparison to the splitting headache inhibiting her from putting two thoughts together.
"Keep calm, old girl," she unknowingly said to herself, snapping to her right as she heard the rather loud snort.
"You do that." It was Draco's characteristic drawl that had spoken.
"What happened?" She went to feel the tender spot at the back of her head and found no response from any of her limbs. Her eyes instinctively widened and she forced both her body and her senses into composure. "I can't move!"
"Yes, well, neither can I. See, our predicament doesn't allow for much movement," Draco replied condescendingly.
It was then that Hermione spotted the demented strings tying her arms far above her head and disappearing up into the rather large ceiling. She turned to Draco who was just as bound as she was. Her brow creased as she realized what he was dressed in.
"What in Merlin's world are you wearing?" His vestment had gone from mismatched to completely and utterly regal. It was as if he were a prince that had escaped from a fairytale book, a rather upset prince to be exact.
"I should ask you the same, cream puff," he rebuffed quite haughtily.
Hermione was taken aback at his nickname for her, however, his sarcastic tone led her to look down at her own wardrobe. She gasped and suddenly realized why he had used the term.
Hermione Jean Granger was currently wearing the most obnoxiously pretty dress that had come into existence. The cream material was literally drowning her whole frame and glittered with pretty golden swirls that caught the light only to rebound into a million little lights that made a makeshift starry night on the floor. The sleeves were atrociously missing which left her arms covered in only the elbow length gloves. Unfortunately, for the rather modest Hermione, who never accentuated her shoulders or cleavage by carelessly exposing them, the cut of the dress squeezed her in ways she did not think were possible for her ordinary frame.
"Where are we?" she growled. The feeling of having no control over any of her limbs was causing her great anxiety and she was ready to duel with the persons who had done this to them.
As soon as she had asked the question, the blue light disappeared to be replaced with a multitude of lights slowly lighting a very large theater in front of them into view. A sea of seats all red and lined in unison waiting to be filled with the viewer of a play was the first thing that had become recognizable. It soon dawned on her that they were on a stage tied up to the ceiling like marionettes.
"You have got to be kidding me..." Hermione sighed , wishing she were a thousand miles away and in her room fast asleep and only dreaming of a mad world.
"No, we do not kid around here." The voice belonged to a girl seated at the very front row. She was younger than Hermione but not at all a child.
"No, we most certainly do not." It was an exact replica of the previous girl that had spoken sitting right by the first. The girls were twins. Exact copies of each other that wore the same sharp haircut and the same black hair that clashed drastically with their pale skin. They wore the same sailor inspired dress which puffed out at the sleeves and skirt, however, their voices confirmed that they were at least fourteen or fifteen. Both girls smiled wickedly at Hermione and Draco causing the pair to send knowing signals of escape to each other.
"Oh that won't work-"one started.
"It never does." It was unclear as to which voice belonged to which twin but it did not matter: they both had a sinister tone of voice that sent chills throughout Hermione's body.
"You see, those strings attached to your hands will prevent you from committing such a stupid act when all you have to do is provide us with a little favor in return for both your freedom and belongings."
"And by belongings we mean the pair of sticks and your clothes." The girls laughed like common schoolgirls.
"You can't do this!" Hermione yelled, her bossy voice inspiring a roll of the eyes from Draco.
"Oh but we can and we already have, to all individuals stupid enough to come into our part of the woods." She wished that the twins were porcelain dolls so that they may smash into many pieces as they hit the floor.
"A long time ago we would just recite stories to the travelers in the woods," said the twin on the right. "However, we found that they didn't have an appreciation for our stories, so, we decided to recreate our stories with their help and present them to those willing to show gratitude for our work."
"And what does that mean?" It was about time that someone not waste Hermione's precious time and right now seemed good enough.
"They want us to act out one of their stories," Draco said exasperatedly.
"Correct," they said in unison.
"What? No, I don't have time for-"
"We have to make time because frankly, I can't feel my hands anymore."
"Listen to your partner, it will be a simple skit for the Duchess. Of course, it must be perfect but that is beside the point." The twin on the left pointed a control of some sort their way and the once taught strings went limp allowing for movement.
"We might even point you in the right direction, one that will lead you to where you so long to go." Hermione felt her arms drop to her sides and instead of running off the stage she stood rooted to the floor and turned to Draco who was now massaging his numb hands. He looked at her and grimaced.
"I don't have time for this..." she whispered.
"It's unfortunate that I left my scissors in my other coat pocket." Draco tugged on the string tied to his left hand.
"Oh sweetie, scissors wouldn't even help you off the stage much less to your freedom."
Hermione paused and continued with trepidation. "Just one skit? And you give us your word that we will be set free with our belongings?"
"Of course, you will be set free with your belongings after both of you perform without completely and utterly ruining our story."
She looked to Draco who rolled his eyes and was of no help in making the decision.
"Merlin help us," Hermione said, exhaustion in her voice. "Fine."
"They are tricking us," Draco angrily whispered into her ear.
"Yes well, you should have pointed that out before!" she replied angrily, blaming him with her stare.
"STOP! There are no sweet nothings whispered during this scene! Start all over!" the twin on the left yelled.
Draco rolled his eyes and exhaled deeply. They returned to their starting positions on the stage and he gave Hermione a last accusatory look before they once again started the scene. She turned her back to him and prepared for the silly lines.
"Oh fair and beautiful sir, how thy perfect self makes my heart flutter." Hermione felt stupid at the lines and turned towards Draco. "Why, the moon itself," she pointed to a makeshift full moon, "glows not as much as the hair atop your head. The stars compare not to the sparkle of your eyes nor do they take my attention away from your beautiful self." She continued by wrapping her hands around his neck, a task made almost impossible by the sheer size of her gown.
"Maiden," he stated sternly, "my heart belongs to that image there-" he carefully removed her arms and pointed to a small makeshift pond.
"Image?" she said, feigning resentment. "Can an image kiss like I do or hold you like I do? What must I do to earn your love?" Hermione recalled the myth of Narcissus and inwardly rolled her eyes as she figured it went well with Draco's personality. As she dropped to her knees, something she would implore to him never to discuss to another living soul, she continued. "Shall I continue with compliments until there are none to give?"
"No maiden, I only love myself," he turned his back to her and made towards the small pond. "Nothing you ever say will distract me from gazing upon myself and...and..."
"And I can never look upon you and feel what I feel upon seeing myself." The twins recited together, looking intently at Draco.
"Right." He shifted uncomfortably as they stared at him. Hermione felt as her legs began to go numb under her gown. "Just say the damned line," she said through gritted teeth.
"And I can never look upon you and feel what I feel upon seeing myself."
"And if I devote my entire being to your cause, I plead with you Narcissus, if I go another moment without your love then I will surely be as if I were dead." She felt as if she put a little too much emotion into that last line.
"Then die you must for I shall be unable to procure those feelings for you. I will never love you." He stared intently at the nonexistent reflection in the pond. "You must live without my love, forget that you ever met me Hermi- Echo." The slip of the tongue went unnoticed by the twins but not to Hermione.
"BRAVO!" The twins stood and clapped in unison. It was the one of the few times they showed a positive emotion and even then it came unnaturally. "Now do it again and this time I want you to do a much better job. " Hermione's brow furrowed as the twin on the right pointed to her. She recalled having recited her lines perfectly unlike Draco who was now, with much difficulty because of the massive gown, trying to help her back on her feet.
"Remember, the Duchess is out there and if you mess up, you might as well prepare for your life as a rather dull thespian," one twin drawled and indicated toward Hermione. They had come up on the stage and were preparing to introduce them but had still found the time to try to intimidate her. The twins gave them one last sinister look before going through the closed curtains to introduce the skit to an audience Hermione and Draco had yet to meet. Hermione saw this as another challenge but that did not change the fact that she felt an amazing sense of stage fright while dressed as the biggest cream puff she had ever seen which only incited her feeling of desperation.
"Listen, they won't let us go," Draco whispered, leaving his spot on the stage to be at her side,"Let's just make a run for it now."
"Yes, let's run and be automatically pulled back by the strings." She held up both her hands and reminded him of them.
The lights from the makeshift stars and moon on the fake background formed strange white patterns on both their skins. He rubbed his temples and then took both her tethered hands in his own.
"Listen, I don't know where the hell we are and we might as well call their bluff now. I know I am not getting out of here with just pleasing those twins. " He tried undoing the strings around her hands but it was as if they were made of magic with no beginning or end to the material.
"Draco, we are stuck here anyways I see no point in trying."
He sighed and stepped even closer to whisper quickly as the twins' introduction was close to an end.
"Well I don't want to find out. I promised I'd try my hardest to get you home and not escaping now would not help in me keeping that promise." He had been pleading with her for longer than he had intended, all the while fumbling with the impossible string and his earnest words kept them from realizing the curtains were being pulled open. They were frozen in place as the spotlight focused on the two and the realization dawned on them that they had already made the mistake of looking like lovers and not like the characters given to them. Hermione sighed defeatedly and looked up to him sadly.
The bright light once again blinded them and paralyzed them far more than the strings had. An eternity seemed to pass with them not knowing what to do before an unknown person yelled at them, "Is this a love story? Oh how I love love stories! You twins never told me you do love stories! Is there a happy ending?" It was the voice of an older woman, perhaps in her fifties or sixties.
"Ah, why yes, it is," one of them said uncertainly, "we had initially planned on the previous skit mentioned but it seems that we have found exactly what pleases you. They are forbidden lovers and...and they are preparing to escape."
Both Draco and Hermione would have been fools if they had missed the hints in the twin's voice. She had never even thought of the idea of improvising and he looked to her as if searching for some sort of idea.
She realized her hands were still in his and she gripped his tighter, staring at them as she spoke the first thing that came to mind.
"Your father would kill us if he knew what we were doing." His eyes grew bigger but he could not poke fun at the honest words.
"I would never let him harm you." Hermione brought up her gaze to meet his and searched for profound words.
"They will never let us be. You are betrothed to another and I cannot hurt her by being the cause of you breaking your promise of marriage."
He hesitated and then found an idea to continue with. "She will find another. Come away with me, we will travel the world, be free from our social status, and live amongst those that care not for our past lives. I will be happy as long as I am by your side and if you love me as much as I do you." He sounded as if he had run out of breath for his last line.
"I have only known you for no more than a month sir, and yet you speak as though love in of itself will suffice in keeping us together. We cannot simply live on love alone-"
"I would risk everything for you and all I ask is that you simply trust me," he placed their hands higher between them and continued, "if you will have me then I will devote my whole being for your sake. Just say the word and I will leave all my riches, all my comforts, behind me and work for your own comfort. It will never amount to the comfort you have now but I promise to serve only you, love only you, and devote myself to you."
Hermione withdrew her hands from his and turned her back to him. "We must not confuse infatuation for love, sir."
"I see that perhaps my feelings cannot be reciprocated-"
"No," she turned to face him again and cautiously placed a hand on his cheek. "I loved you the moment we danced and you forgave me for stepping on your toes, it's just that-" a moment passed and although the suspense was building for the audience, Hermione was at a loss for words. "I am afraid."
"Afraid that I do not really love you and that I will only hurt you, leave you stranded, leave you for another? I cannot even fathom the idea of doing such a thing but I, too, am afraid of such things-"
"I would never-"
"Yes, I know, and that is why I am willing to risk it. However, you do not trust in me as I do in you."
"It's all so sudden. I...I-"
"I will not force you into doing something that you do not wish to do. But, if you do want to, do not keep us from being with each other out of fear." He spoke a bit more passionately than she was speaking and she figured it was his competitive side taking over. She felt as his hand stroked her hair.
"I never knew I could love someone as I do you...I will go with you and love you until my dying breath." It was a good way to end a rather cheesy and unplanned act. It was not, however, enough as she heard one twin hiss "kiss" twice. The idea of kissing Draco for the second time in this world only seemed logical as they were all bloody mad here. Well, I have done it before so that would be two kisses, one partial night sleeping in the same bed, him making me tea, riding on the same horse as he, quite a few embraces and-
The twins cleared their throats loudly and Hermione instinctively moved forward and met him halfway. It began as a light and soft kiss. He smelled of new parchment and tasted like strong tea, something that reminded her dearly of her times spent at Hogwarts. She felt her knees go weak as he placed his hand on her neck, which she suddenly noticed was slightly calloused, most likely from the hats he had created by hand, but it only made her skin prickle and grow hot at his touch. She placed her hands on his chest and felt as his heart beat just as quickly as hers did. It was something they both reassured to themselves they didn't want but to the audience, they were the nameless forbidden lovers who had just decided on a lifelong adventure to be carried out together.
"EXCELLENT! Oh MAGNIFICENT!" The words were spoken by the Duchess and she rose from her seat to clap. They broke apart and held each others' gaze intently, both gasping and shaking in each others' arms. They fumbled a little when two strings had tangled with
Their eyes adjusted as the stage lights were dimmed and the theater lights illuminated the audience. There stood the Duchess, clad in regal attire and a ridiculous hairdo that resembled a bird's nest. She approached the stage and looked lovingly at Hermione and Draco. They reluctantly let their arms fall to their side and slightly moved away from each other. She brushed the front of her dress off and straightened her back.
"We want to be let go now and for out things to be returned to us." She spoke with no insecurity in her voice. Her hands were held out as if expecting the twins to cut the strings right then and there.
"Our agreement," one drawled, "was for you to be let go. He stays." Hermione realized what she had agreed to and mentally scolded herself for not realizing her mistake earlier. She turned to Malfoy who gave her a look that reassured her they could not hold him for too long.
"Nonsense, nonsense, nonsense," the Duchess repeated. "Give them their belongings and let them go!" The twins looked from her to each other and then back again. "Yes, you heard me. You will let this couple go and live their adventure."
"But, Madam, they are nothing but a pair of unskilled act-"
"YOU WILL NOT BREAK THE ILLUSION!" The twins cowered as the Duchess let out a screeching tone of voice. She composed herself and continued. "Now, return their things to them."
The twin on the left furiously took out the wands and clothes from under her seat and held the items out for them to take. Hermione quickly reached for them and stepped back as though they might be forced to return them. "And I will aid them on their journey." A loving smile spread on the face of the older woman which was, now that they could see her clearly, scarred from burns. "Cut them down, twins!"