Chapter 10

I ran down my list of ingredients for chocolate chip cookies I was baking for Frankie's class.

Melted butter….check

Brown sugar…..check

White sugar…...check

Patrick had been here today.

I mixed the three ingredients and set them aside. In a separate bowl I added dry ingredients.

Salt………………check

Baking soda……..check

Flour…………….check

My eyes turned to the manila envelope laying on the table in front of me; almost taunting me.

I set the dry ingredients aside and cracked open two eggs adding them to the butter mixture.

Patrick returned the letters. My heart ached a little from what had happened at Marie's. Baking right now seemed the only thing to comfort me. That was the thing about baking; it was one of the few things in my life I actually had control over.

I shook my head and tried to concentrate on what I was doing.

I added the dry ingredients to the butter mixture, scraping the bowl.

Why did he return the letters? Why now?

Absently, I mixed the contents, adding vanilla and chocolate chips.

In my heart I knew the answer. I messed up.

The Next Morning

"There he goes again. Third time around," Cindy told me gazing dreamily at Patrick through the window. Cindy sighed,"He's so very…"

I couldn't stand it anymore. "I know, Cindy. Toothsome. He's very toothsome. I get it!" I snapped at her.

Cindy turned around and eyed me suspiciously while I busily wiped tables. "What's with you?"

I didn't reply.

Cindy smirked. "Ohhhhhh." She cocked her head sideways narrowing her eyes at me. "I get it."

I wouldn't look at her.

"You have a thing for the toothsome fellow, don't ya?"

"Cindy, ya don't know what yer talking about."

"I think I do. You get really jumpy at the mention of his name. And yer always looking at the door as if yer expecting him to walk through," she declared with one accusing finger while nodding as though she had solved some great mystery. Sherlock Bloody Holmes, so she was.

I shook my head in denial as I filled the napkin holders.

"Well don't look now. It looks as though he may be coming in," Cindy announced backing away from the window.

Patrick stood there in front of Marie's with hands on knees, catching his breath. He was a sight in his shirt and jogging shorts. He stretched his long muscular legs and walked in.

Cindy had hurriedly gone behind the counter trying to look busy. Patrick looked at me and simply nodded hello then walked up to Cindy and asked for a bottle of water.

"Are ya still going ta school, Cindy?"

She nodded. "I'll graduate next year."

"Perfect. And how's that boyfriend of yers?"

"He's fine. He's almost finished his probation for the fire department."

"That's great, Cindy. Sounds like he's got a good head on his shoulders."

Feeling quite left out and with an armload of napkins I went to the back to put them away and stood unseen behind the door unashamedly catching the tail-end of their conversation.

"You might apply, Patrick. I hear they're hiring."

What? Who? I wonder.

"So are ya coming in today to do inventory?" I heard Cindy inquire.

"That's right. In a couple of hours yet," he replied, his voice sexy as ever.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't know why. Maybe because I felt this discomfort between us may go away if we got a chance to talk.

Patrick did end up coming in two hours later but we were very busy up front and Marie had him occupied in the back taking stock of supplies. To my knowledge blue jeans and a t-shirt had never looked so good.

I was finding it difficult to concentrate on helping the customers knowing he was just a short distance way. I kept wondering how to make things right.

Dump Thomas, my heart said. But my mind told me that I really didn't know anything about Patrick.

No past, no present, no future.

At least with Thomas I knew where my future was headed.

But Patrick's embrace made me feel whole.

Finally, it was time for me to go home so I decided to go talk with him in the back room. I opened the door to find him high up on the ladder. I just stared up at him silently watching him in all his masculine glory. I don't know how long I stood there before he finally noticed me.

"Oh Lizzie, hello," he told me with a smile; his turquoise eyes boring down into mine.

Thump thump. Thump thump. I could feel my heart pounding. "Hello, Patrick," I replied feeling the heat rising to my cheeks.

"Have ya been standing there long?"

Enjoying the view, so I was.

"Nnnnnooo," I stammered like a right schoolgirl. "Listen, Patrick," I requested and found myself unable to meet his gaze. "We need to talk."

His mouth was set in a line. "Right, Lizzie. We do need to talk," he agreed as he descended the steps from the ladder.

Thump thump. Thump thump. He stood there in front of me just inches away and we gazed at each other. How many times had I looked upon his face in the picture?

"You go first." We both said simultaneously.

Chicken, I told myself. "Go ahead," I said with a nervous chuckle.

"Right. Well…uh…I wanted to...uh..."

Just say it Patrick, I think. "Wanted to what?" I asked nearly breathless, feeling like I was hanging on his every syllable.

"I wanted to ask if it was alright to take Frankie over to the football field on Saturday. I told him I used to play in school and I could show him a few things."

OH.

This wasn't what I expected at all. Frankie would love it, though. Still, it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"That sounds great, Patrick," I responded, trying hard to hide my disappointment. "Frankie will be very excited."

He looked relieved. "Glad to hear it. I actually was a little nervous about asking you."

I laughed nervously and hung up my apron.

"Okay so then 10 am tomorrow I'll be there to pick him up."

"Right. See ya then," I replied; my heart feeling a little heavy. "Bye, Patrick," I added as I made my way towards the door.

"Bye...Oh wait...Lizzie?"

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. I turned around to face him. "Yes?" I asked hopefully.

"What did ya want to say?"

Right. More cheerfully than I felt I told him, "We're so happy that yer back."

He looked at me for a moment then smiled, nodded, and climbed back up the ladder.

Marie had a long list of items that needed to be brought down and accounted for. This would go on for a few weeks. I was happy to help. Also, I was anxious to get back and be able to face Lizzie with some degree of my pride intact.

When I saw her this morning after my jog I avoided her altogether because I just didn't know how to act so I focused all my attention on Cindy.

Now as I stand here counting napkins, utensils, and salt and pepper packet boxes my thoughts drift to the woman behind the counter. I also think about Frankie and how much I enjoyed our conversation on the way to the library from the other day. My infatuation with his mother should not take away from him. He deserved a male figure in his life. He waited his whole life for it.

I closed up the box of utensils carefully accounting for them on my list and reached over for the next box.

What did Lizzie see in this guy anyway? Sure he was okay-looking. And he was a successful restaurateur and could provide her and Frankie with anything they could ever want...

Okay stop right there, Patrick. I knew I had nothing to offer her. Here I was almost 38, nothing to show for it. Nothing to give her but my heart. I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to be near her so I would accept the next best thing...being her friend.

I sighed to myself and thought I heard a noise. I looked down and found Lizzie there looking up at me. How long had she been standing there? "Oh Lizzie, hello. Have ya been standing there long?" I inquired.

She looked and sounded nervous. "Nnnnooo. Patrick, listen. We need to talk."

Uh oh. Here we go. Nothing ever good comes from 'we need to talk',so I've heard.

I climbed down the steps. "Right Lizzie. We do need to talk."

I looked into her beautiful, brown eyes and wondered to myself how it was I ever left her that night.

"You go first." We said at the same time. Please let me go first. I don't think I could bear the rejection.

"Go ahead," she told me with a chuckle.

"Right." Her eyes seemed to enchant mine. "Well…uh…" What was I going to say again? Oh right. "I wanted to …uh." She might not think this is such a good idea after all.

"Wanted to what?" she asked me, nearly as a whisper.

C'mon Patrick, spit it out. "I wanted to ask if it was alright to take Frankie over to the football field on Saturday. I told him I used to play in school and I could show him a few things."

Uh oh. This reminds me of when I asked for that second day. Her eyebrows crinkled charmingly but she looks confused for a moment. Then she smiles.

"That sounds great, Patrick. Frankie will be very excited."

What a relief. My worst fear had been that she would cut off all ties with me because of this guy she's seeing. "Glad to hear it. I actually was a little nervous about asking you."

She laughed, shaking her head and went to hang up her apron.

"Okay so then 10 am tomorrow I'll be there to pick Frankie up," I confirmed with her and hoped she wouldn't change her mind.

"Right. See ya then," she said. "Bye, Patrick," she told me as she headed towards the door.

"Bye." Wait a second, supposedly there was something she wanted to tell me. "Oh wait...Lizzie?" She turned around and gave me a puzzled look. "What did ya want to say?"

"We're so happy that yer back," she told me with a genuine smile. It made my day. Hearing her say that made me want to grab her and kiss her.

But then I remembered Thomas.

I smiled back at her, nodded to the fact that friendship is better than nothing and climbed back up and resumed my work.

A/N: Please let me know what you think!