A/N: Sorry this update took so long I struggled a bit. Thanks for all your insightful reviews. They mean more than you know.
Lo and Maddy, I love you guys.
Sophia
"Deanna? What are you doing here?" Rick was surprised to see his mother in law at his dining table with the boys doing their homework instead of his wife who usually ran point on all homework activities.
"Michonne called, asked me to come stay with the boys until you got home." He heard the sliver of concern in her tone and wondered how long his wife had opted to be alone.
"How long ago was that? Did you check on her? See if she needed anything?" He placed his sheriff's hat on the counter and greeted his sons, careful to keep his voice low from disturbing them as they appeared to be absorbed in their homework.
"I did but I think you're the one she needs right now." Deanna tilted her head upstairs, her fresh bob haircut perfectly coiffed, giving Rick the all clear to check on Michonne.
It wasn't hard to deduce she was having another bad day if she called Deanna over. He had high hopes this tortured emotion she was experiencing would dissipate soon. Three days had blurred into each other other since they received the news she was pregnant. He was still plagued with the guilt of feeling so happy about it while she was suffering through what having a baby meant for her. It was everything they ever wanted and she was too disappointed in herself to enjoy it. It pained him to know she couldn't remember how badly they wanted a baby and how much she believed in his promise that they'd make one soon enough.
"Probably forty five minutes" Deanna responded trying to give her grandsons her full attention.
"I'm gonna go check on her. Boys I'll be back down for dinner soon okay. I'll bring Mom."
He jogged up the staircase, entering their master bedroom with a cautious gait; he didn't want to scare her.
The scent of coconut and verdana lured him to their lavish bathroom.
"Michonne? Babe?" She was soaking in the bathtub, eyes closed and her cheeks tear stained. Soap suds barely covered her swollen breasts but he was drawn to her saddened expression; seeing her in distress broke his heart.
He knelt at the side of the tub and stroked her pretty face, erasing all trace of her tears with his thumb.
Her mahogany orbs, darkened from the absence of light, made way to his face; her eyes were still captivating even though they held some measure of pain in them.
"Baby? Tell me what can I do. Tell me what you want?" He would move the sun if she needed him to, anything that would bring back the smile she wore only a few nights ago.
She sat upright in slow motion, careful not to splash him with any of the water. "I just want a day where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore." There was a crack in her voice when she spoke and she was grateful there wasn't any judgement in Rick's eyes, only empathy.
"I know you do. How are you feelin'? Any mornin' sickness?" The nausea still plagued her and from what he remembered, she told him she was the same way with Andre in her first trimester.
"I wasn't feeling well after the boys got home. That's why I called Mom. I'm sorry I know they need me but…." Her eyes were tired, he knew she hadn't been sleeping which meant he wasn't either. He usually fell asleep after she did thinking of ways to help her.
Before the accident they were soundly rooted in the roles they played in each other's life. He lead their small town with fairness and heart but it was a known fact she led him with the strength of her love and the power of the faith she had in him. It was a firm constitution their marriage had been set up on. Only now there was a contrast in their relationship, a switching of positions somewhat as he deliberated how best to deal with her uncharted insecurities.
"Hey there's no need to apologize. We're all here to help you. Your fingertips are beginning to prune. Can I get you out of this tub? Outta this cold water?"
She had lost track of time since she'd been upstairs but the soak had soothed her stray thoughts for a bit.
She nodded and Rick took her hands, carefully helping her step out of the tub and onto the fluffy bath mat. He took her blue terry cloth robe off the rack and patted her delicate naked body dry before wrapping her in the soft material. He was happy she was no longer shy with him in that sense but he wished she could be naked with him with what she was feeling too. Once her legs were dry he swooped her up in his arms for the brief journey to their bed.
Her unexpected laughter echoed in the room, it was the first time he heard her laugh so genuinely since they left the doctor's office.
"You didn't have to do that. I'm probably so heavy now." She said when he sat her down and joined her on the bed.
"You're light as a feather still."
"For now." She joked, it was also the first time she made any kind of reference to the child she carried. In Rick's face she saw a joy she didn't catch before or maybe she decided to ignore it altogether because she couldn't match it with anything she was feeling or rather not feeling.
She was too absorbed in the self afflicted agony of not feeling any connection to the child in her womb and how that affected her connection with Rick.
Silence invaded the space where laughter dwelled seconds before creating more unnecessary tension between them. She didn't want to remain so closed off, not with him, not when he did everything he could to open her up again. So she chose sharing over selfishness, needing to shred her volatility and shame of what she was feeling with the one man who loved her in spite of it all.
"I think something is wrong with me for feeling so detached from this baby. I want to feel the joy of carrying this life but it's just not there. I see it now, the subtle changes in my body that I probably ignored in hindsight but I feel like I don't deserve this gift."
He didn't think he'd feel so relieved by the glimpse of her guilt, he couldn't begin to imagine carrying a child you couldn't remember creating or even craving. He thought it took real strength to power through it all and not weakness to acknowledge it like she was doing.
He held her hand in solidarity, her enemy was within and if he could help her conquer it the enemy on the outside, which was her lack of milestone memories would pale in significance.
"This is what we wanted for so long Michonne." He'd been making plans for more children since the day he looked into her eyes.
"I wish I remembered wanting this baby with you Rick. I'm just learning Carl and Dre all over again. Suppose I mess this one up." Her confliction was buried in a misplaced sense of irresponsibility. She couldn't remember anything about the last few months of her pregnancy with Andre, there was no recollection of how he came into the world or what he felt like when they placed him on her chest when he was born. She only remembered her friendship with Carl that solidified over a few Skype calls, she didn't remember the evolution from friends to family and it was a burden in her heart. Her only consolation was how much she knew she loved her boys. She knew she didn't have their memories anymore but she wanted to give them a hopeful future. Did she deserve a baby in the midst of her inadequacy?
Her fears were holding her back from loving this child, from feeling that indescribable bond between the three of them that stemmed from the love they had for each other. He felt he had the power to help her through this one he just wished he knew the right mechanism to employ.
"At least you get this one from scratch, you'll know what he or she are allergic to right away." His retort pulled a laugh from her liabilities that gave him a little hope.
"I'm glad you find that funny." Her spirits were lifted knowing in the midst of such a challenging conversation she and Rick could laugh at something so serious. Their bond was too special to ignore, with everything that was going on, the highs and lows of her mutilated memory, she saw how critical her friendship with Rick was and grew even more thankful it had stayed intact despite all the things that could've so easily separated them.
"Michonne, look at me." He held her chin and guided her pouty face to his own, "You're a great mother and you'll be a great mom to this baby too."
"But how do you know?" She witnessed his face softening towards her and what he said broke her obstination at being happy down to nothing.
"Because...you have all the qualities God knew our kids would need in a mom." He snaked his way under her robe and touched his palm against her cool stomach, creating a deeper intimacy between them. "And that includes this baby too."
Tears glistened in her eyes, she needed to know he had faith in her to do right by this baby despite her malfunctioning memory and his words so softly spoken trampled her trepidation.
He was holding her hand and helping her outrun her restrictions. They were jumping together.
"I'll keep him safe Rick. I promise." She needed him to know he could trust her with something so precious, that she wouldn't screw it up like she had screwed up so many things between them.
He slipped his boots off and sat against the bed frame pulling her robe wrapped body in his arms.
"I know you will Michonne. I never doubted that for a second. " His hand grazed her still flat belly again, "He or she couldn't be in a safer please. You can't beat yourself up over this anymore. We'll miss all the fun parts like you yelling at me for leaving my clothes on the ground when you're in month seven, an unlimited supply of big kat bars and my personal favorite pull out free sex."
"That sounds like some serious points you're making there sheriff."
"Don't make yourself the enemy Michonne, you're not."
"I'm gonna try."
A pivotal thought occurred to him and he didn't deliberate to flow with it. He pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket, zooming in on his saved files he searched for the voicemail she left him the night of the accident and pressed play. He memorized every word and used it often to help galvanize his belief in what they meant to each other.
"This was the last thing you said to me before the accident. I um...I listen to it sometimes…"
"Hey babe, I'm outside the house waiting on Andie. I know you're probably on the couch waiting up for me which probably means you're using my Netflix. Again. Don't you dare watch another episode of Blacklist without me Rick, I mean it! And If the boys wake up please no sugar! ….You know I was thinking about what you said tonight, you're right Rick. You've always been right about us even from the start. We're not like them. We can handle anything because we always do it together. I love you so much Rick. Don't fall asleep. We have some more baby making to do. Ok Andie's coming. You know I'm gonna give her piece of my mind right? See you in a bit."
Listening to the conviction in her words as she spoke so assuredly to Rick gave her deep pause. They were supposed to tackle everything together. Through everything Rick never left her side even when she thought temporary separation would help their impasse. They had been working on a baby and they had been finally granted their wish.
Who was she to question a miracle?
"We wanted this baby." Hearing her own voice and the transformative power of her certitude they were going to create life that night pushed any lingering doubt out of her mind. She molded herself into him out of a necessity to be close. She wasn't going to find anyone in this lifetime to love her like Rick did and she wanted him to share in the reciprocated feeling. Why be in love with a memory when she had Rick right in front of her?
They had made a new life on the same night a marriage ended and another life had been so tragically snuffed out; she had so much to be grateful for.
She could see why it was so easy to love Rick. His arms were always strong enough to hold her when it was too difficult to stand up on her own two feet.
"We did. We do."
"Rick?"
"Yeah."
"Can we go see the doctor tomorrow? I wanna….I wanna make sure they're ok in there." she couldn't do it before but the voice note shifted her reticence making way for some delayed confidence in what she and Rick were trying to build.
He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, she was being brave and that's all he ever wanted. "Thank you."
August 2013
"Michonne?" Rick called from the staircase.
"In here." Her voice was faint as though she was trying to conserve her energy.
"You're still not feelin' so hot? Maggie said she grabbed Carl from school, she'll bring him over later." His wife of two weeks was lying down on her side, her face to the window.
He decided to leave work early today on a whim. When he left home that morning Michonne wasn't feeling her strongest and because she was three weeks away from her due date he didn't want to be away from her longer than necessary.
She maneuvered to face him taking her time to move slowly, her big belly not allowing her to be as agile as she used to be.
"I'll be okay. You know I was doing some thinking." He kissed her cheek and she waited for him to sit at the edge of the bed to continue.
"Do you think people are gonna make a big deal over the fact that Andre doesn't look like you?"
"I don't care what other people think Michonne and neither should you." He didn't know what more he could say to let her know he already thought of Andre as his own.
"You're right. Your amazing Rick. Andre will be lucky to have you as his dad"
"I'm the lucky one Michonne, meeting you has been the best time of my life. I promise you Andre won't lack for anythin'...anythin'." He touched the swell of her stomach needing to convey their connection. "I love him because I love the hell out of his mama. The four of us are already a family."
From content to tone his confidence in his consolidation spurred Michonne on, she felt a new wave of credence and she removed any fear or doubt from her mind. Rick was always so sure about them, even from right at the start.
"You think we'll ever have more kids?" She asked wanting to have a baby with Rick's eyes and his heart one day.
"I want that, only if you want to." The visual of Michonne rounded with his seed gave him a primal urge to make his dream come to life one day.
"You like me pregnant huh?" She said it with traction knowing how much he worshipped her pregnant body.
"Maybe I just have a thing for pregnant Michonne." The smile on his face was a tease but she believed every word he said, After all that's how they fell in love.
Just as she was about to speak a ripple of pain shot through her stomach and her moan caught him by surprise.
"I'm okay. It's probably just Braxton Hicks. Been doing that all day. I'm just tired and my back is killing me. Can we order take out? I didn't make anything for dinner."
His fears weren't abated by her relaxed stance but because he knew how stubborn Michonne could be he opted to monitor her instead of mandating that they leave for the hospital right away.
"I thought ahead and bought Chinese. I even got those fortune cookies you like so much." Her smile was limited, her hand crawling to her lower back to massage the pain into submission.
"Tell me about this back pain." He asked, his hands taking over the job.
"It's just been persistent all day. I guess my body is getting ready." There was also a cramp throbbing along her left leg but she didn't want to panic over nothing. She still had three weeks to go before her baby boy arrived. She was still trying to acclimatize to being Rick's wife and Carl's step mom while trying to redecorate the beautiful house Rick had purchased for them. They were still so many rooms to unpack. The only room that was completed was the nursery and that was courtesy of Rick, Daryl and Glenn.
"I told you, you've been overdoin' it. We have all the time in the world to unpack everything. I just want you to rest for the next three weeks. Is that too much to ask Mrs. Grimes?" He never grew tired of calling her by his last name. She was irrevocably his and soon Andre would join and complete their family of four.
She touched his face when he scooted on the bed next to her, his blue eyes pleading for her to loosen her reserved compliance. He rubbed her stomach which was now bigger than a beach ball, it had become his favorite thing to do.
"We should go get Carl. I don't want him to think we abandoned him." Carl had been her shadow over the past couple of weeks. Even before their small wedding their bond had deepen. Now that their dynamic had shifted she don't want him to feel neglected especially as they were bringing a new baby into their family.
"You think you're up for that?"
"Yeah I think I need to get out the house. I'll just go take a shower." She eased herself off the bed with his eager support.
"Can I help with that?" He asked, no mischievous intent behind his offer.
"I think I can manage." She tried her best to be independent but she was thankful Rick knew her so well. He helped her out of his oversized T shirt; she grew accustomed to wearing it because of its comforting feel and the scent of Rick that lingered on it even after it came out of the dryer.
He couldn't help but gape at Michonne's body, she was ripe and round with child and he couldn't think of a more beautiful sight.
Still in her bra and underwear she leaned over the white porcelain tub to turn on the shower when another intense surge of pain struck her, making her stagger.
"Ooohhh."
"Chonne! What is it?" Rick rushed to her side and she clutched his arm to steady herself as the pain raged through her belly.
"I don't know. I think...that was a...contraction." It was too soon.
Rick broke out in a light sweat at her admission. Michonne still had three weeks before she delivered. He did a mental checklist of the things he needed to do.
"I'm calling your doctor. We're going to the hospital." He yanked his phone while doubling to take off the shower and guide her back to the bed.
"First babies take their time to come. Or at least so I've heard." Her panted breath didn't give away the concern in her tone.
"I'm not taking any chances Michonne. We're going!" He glanced at his watch to time her contractions and saw her double over in pain. His heart rate sped up, his birthing experience was limited, he missed Carl's birth because he had been out of town when Lori went into labor, by the time he got word and returned home Carl had already made his debut and he and Lori were resting comfortably. Lori never really got over him missing Carl's birth but he was here with Michonne now and he wasn't going to leave her side.
They moved together trying to get her some fresh clothes, after picking up their pre packed baby bag they went downstairs. She sat on the couch working through a contraction while Rick called their parents to let them know to meet them at the hospital.
She knew the word would spread like wildfire given the express grapevine their clan operated with.
Rick reached for her on the couch prepared to lift her in his arms when a gush of water soaked through her leggings darkening the rug on the floor.
"Rick!" Michonne hadn't felt a pain so intense in her life. The pressure built at her centre and her knees gave out. She had an urgent need to push, pain and fear launching her into hysterical breaths.
"I think I need to push Rick. I can already feel something down there!" She sunk to the ground desperate for a place of support. She realized she was unable to wait for a twenty minute ride to the hospital. The pressure was building between her legs, it looked like her son didn't want to wait. Andre was coming and he was coming now.
"Michonne! We can't have him here!" He needed her around the best doctors and nurses and medication should anything go wrong. He didn't want to chance her and Andre in less than stellar circumstances like the floor of their living room. He had brief medical training at the academy but he never delivered a baby in his life. Certainly not one so important to him.
"I'm scared Rick." Michonne said reaching for his hand and gripping it like a lifeline. His fluster would've been cute under different circumstances but she was panicking at the unexpected, they both were.
He had to be strong for the both of them, the last thing he needed was fear of the unknown clouding his decisions. Michonne and Andre needed him.
"Look at me." He touched her face and assured her with one sweep of his eyes.
"We can do this."
Faith renewed, she answered, "I know we can." After making a quick check he discovered she was right in what she was feeling, she was almost fully dilated and that deduction was based only because of the forty something birthing videos she made him watch on youtube over and over again.
Rick took his phone out while running to the laundry room to get some clean towels. He called Maggie to let her in on the update; Michonne was in labor and the baby had already positioned itself. Maggie promised to let everyone know and to send an ambulance to his address stat.
"I need to push Rick!"
He stationed himself at her entrance, she had taken off her pants and hunched up on her elbows trying to see past the round ball that was her belly.
"Shit! I think I see somethin!" He sounded more in awe than anything else. She wished she could laugh at their delirium but the crushing pressure she was experiencing sent her body in a strained push, backed up by a painful grunt. She didn't know if she would have the strength to do it again.
"C'mon baby breathe. Remember what we learned?"
"Forget the damn breathing Rick! I just want him out!" She collapsed against the floor, no longer able to hold herself up. She had to distribute her energy wisely. Andre's head felt as big as a watermelon and at the moment he was trying to come through a lemon size portal.
Her contractions had decreased which was why she was ready to push, everything was happening so quickly. "I gotta push. I gotta push."
"The ambulance should be here soon if you wanna…."
"If I wanna what? Wait? No. I can't...I can't…" She spoke through gritted teeth.
Rick's hands were between her legs and he felt the crown of Andre's head and knew they really didn't have any time to waste. He grabbed her hand and held onto her thigh giving her encouragement to push.
Michonne had so much strength, he couldn't begin to tap into the heights and depths of it. "I love you so much Michonne." She almost broke two of his fingers with her pushing but she was such a powerful sight.
"His head is out! C'mon babe one more push and that's it! You can do this Chonne! I'm right here. You can do this!"
"Oh my God. " Her breathing was chaotic but the tightness in her abdomen had subsided greatly when her body thrusted forward and Andre slipped out with a plaintive cry at the disruption to his home for the past few months.
"Rick marvelled at the sight in his hands. Counting ten fingers and ten little toes, the beautiful ball of perfection looked up at him with the most mesmerizing brown eyes he had ever seen, his loud shriek announcing to the world he was finally here.
"Hey buddy. We've been waiting for you?" Rick said his voice almost to a whisper.
Michonne fell in love with Rick again watching him hold her son.
"He's beautiful Michonne. You did good kid." He teased placing Andre in the crux of her arm. The sweet baby boy latched onto her index finger as Michonne sprinkled soft kisses all over him.
"He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Hey Andre. I can't believe you're here. We've been waiting for you. That guy with the blood all over his shirt, the guy whose face you first saw and voice you first heard when you came into this world? That's your daddy..." Michonne saw Rick wipe a tear from his eye and she too had cried out of sheer joy and the raw emotions that had gripped the room.
"I love you too Daddy" She was exhausted beyond measure but Rick had been her rock and she couldn't have asked for a better partner to walk through life with.
"I think I hear the ambulance." Smiling was easy now knowing his wife and precious son were safe.
Now that the boys had left for their fun sleepover at the farm and she had some time to herself Michonne decided to watch the DVD Sasha presented to her after the wedding rehearsal. Sasha advised her to watch it when she was alone. She was intrigued by what could be on the DVD once Sasha confessed it wasn't a war movie; her sisters favorite or a copy of somebody's sexcapades. She cleared her day to focus on its content. Rick was due home in an hour or two and she decided she'd view it before he got home so they could have the rest of the evening to themselves.
Wrapped in a brown wrapping she tore off the paper and chortled when she read the highlighted label.
Title: You had me at 'Im pregnant with another guy's baby.'
Popping the DVD in she settled on the couch, clutching the pillow to her chest as though she knew she needed some kind of anchor for what she was about to witness.
Without preamble Rick, Daryl and Sasha appeared on the screen, she wasn't sure what was happening yet but she was already laughing and preparing herself for the antics about to be showcased.
The camera focused on Rick who was about to speak.
She grew quiet when the person holding the camera, she was yet to deduce who, focused in on Rick's face. He was dressed in a black shirt and his usual black jeans, he added one of his famous cougar hats to the getup and his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. He looked like he was made for the big screen; like a celebrity caught doing something mundane and was being reported on E News.
She could envision him playing a role in a movie; someone with authority and control but plenty of heart; a hero type maybe. He fit that role perfectly in her eyes but Rick was modest and humble, he would never adapt to the celebrity lifestyle. Plus he had bad style sometimes, there was a certain yellow sweater he defaulted to every time they had to go out and she had to shut it down; she loathed the thing. The media would rip his wardrobe ensembles apart.
Snapping out of her daydream about her husband as a not so stylish celebrity she returned her attention back to the home movie at hand.
"Hey babe. I know you've been having a hard time lately with everything, including things you can't remember but really want to. So we all got together and did this...umm..movie of how we met. It was an ordinary day, nothing exciting to write home about but it was one of the best days of my life, rivalled only by our wedding day. I hope when you see this...play or whatever you wanna call it.." He let out a dry laugh as though he couldn't believe they were really doing this. "You'll get an idea of how things were in the beginning and you'll see it's okay to make new memories from here on out." He closed off his opening commentary with a sexy wink.
Rick moved out of the view of the camera and a surprisingly neat and tidy Daryl costumed in Rick's sheriff hat was walking towards Sasha, who Michonne assumed was supposed to be her. Her sister had a misshapen pillow stuck under her blouse trying to recapture her four months pregnant state when she met Rick.
Michonne was in awe. She couldn't speak if her life depended on it. Lucky for her she had the house to herself because she was moved to tears and the movie was only past the introduction. What she saw overwhelmed her heart. She took up the remote once her excitement had abated a bit and increased the volume.
She wasn't sure whose home they used for the production or even when they all found the time to come together for their drama but she was deeply touched by the lengths her family never failed to extend themselves to for her.
This was absolutely ridiculous but so perfectly sweet and hilarious.
"Hey girl. I think you're fine wanna ride on my bike?" Daryl said adjusting Rick's sheriff's hat on his slicked hair.
"I don't speak like that." Rick said from off camera.
"That! Is how you talk to a woman?" Sasha exclaimed clutching her chest and breaking the fourth wall.
"Hey I'm trying to bring my own take on my character." Daryl said in his defense of his artistry.
Sasha slapped his arm, "This isn't the Daryl and Rosita love story! it's Rick and Michonne you fool!"
"Hey! Don't call my man a fool!" Rosita said coming from the side wearing a self made hat with the word director on it, she was sure to include glitter embellishments. Michonne laughed at how serious everyone took their roles for the homemade video. Everybody had a critical role to play in their flick.
In trying to shake down Daryl for him to focus, Sasha's pretend baby bump fell out from underneath her top. She stopped and stared at the ground as though the floor had kidnapped her fake bump, then shouted "Wardrobe! Come fix my fake belly!"
Michonne threw her head back and laughed at her sister's clowning. The camera shot to Rick, he looked defeated at the disorder of his good intentions. His hands went to his hips as he stared at their friends.
Despite his unrest he looked good enough to eat, she wanted to kiss him into a smile seeing him with that frustrated scowl on his face.
"You know...we don't all look alike! Why do I have to be Michonne?"
"Guys can we get back on track here?" She heard Rick's voice again.
"Yes from the start people! This isn't what we rehearsed!" Rosita snapped her hands together like a clapperboard.
Learning they had rehearsed and things still came out so chaotic sent Michonne into a fit if giggles.
"Fine." Daryl adjusted the hat and focused his feigned attention back to Sasha.
"Hey Michonne, I think you're beautiful. Can I take you out?"
"Rick I would love to but I'm four months pregnant with someone else's baby." Sasha who was always up for flare and dramatics pressed a hand to her forehead.
"It doesn't matter to me. I still want to be with you. Carl already loves you." Daryl said taking Sasha's hand. In creeped Glenn in a baseball hat and a few comic books in his hand.
"Please Michonne marry my dad. I think you're so cool!" Glenn's high falsetto was a shock to everyone, they couldn't comprehend his need for such a high tone to pretend he was Carl.
"Glenn! You're Carl not an opera singer!" Maggie called from offside. Michonne thought she was the executive producer of the circus show, it fit her sister in law's personality so well.
"C'mon man! I need to get outta this damn sheriff uniform! Why do I even have this on? Michonne met you in the city?" Daryl was complaining, his muscles were testing the strength of Rick's uniform.
Calvin Harris 'When I met you in the summer' began to play from speakers she couldn't locate on the screen.
"Abe! What are you doing here?" Sasha exclaimed as her fiance graced the lens with his burly presence, a bluetooth speaker in his hand.
"I came to rescue you from this slimeball!"
"We're acting you idiot! Now you've ruined the whole thing!" Sasha looked around and her eyes sought Maggie, "I'm sorry I can't work like this!" She threw her baby bump pillow at Daryl's head and stomped off screen.
Rick pinched his nose bridge, accepting that things weren't going to go as planned, not with the big, crazy ass family they had.
Just as the camera focused on him again Sasha returned to the focus point and looked directly at the lens and said. "Hey sis. Sorry things didn't turn out the way Rick wanted to but I think what we're trying to show you here is that Rick loves you and any fool could see you two are meant to be." Sasha touched his arm much to his surprise at her unsolicited praise.
"There isn't anything he wouldn't do for you and Carl and Dre and the new baby."
"New baby? Michonne's pregnant?" Glenn's shocked face peaked out in front of Sasha.
"Shut up you dumbass! I told you it was a secret!" Maggie's hands widened in displeasure at Glenn's running mouth. They were all a jumbled mess in front of the camera, Michonne wasn't sure if she should be laughing or crying. Were they trying to produce a drama or comedy?
"As I was say-ing!" Sasha said trying to regain the focus on her. She knew the disaster they had on display came across like a country version of the real world and she needed to salvage the purpose of it, at least for Rick's sake. There was no way in hell she was doing another take of this mess. It was safe to say nobody was going to be winning any awards for their acting performances.
Sasha took Rick's hand and hooked his elbow with hers.
Now Michonne could stare directly at the man who made her heart quicken.
"This guy loved you right at the start! and I know how hard it must be because you don't remember how much you loved him but you're so much more than just your memories Michonne. You have so much people here for you. So be brave because you and Rick have far more ways to go." Sasha winked at the camera and walked off to argue some more with Abe. Rosita entered the frame next.
"Hey chica! Look I know things are tough right now but you're tougher than any woman I know, well besides me of course but Rick is a real one. I know I don't have to tell you this. Remember when I just started cosmetology school and we were doing your eyebrows and waxed it all of by mistake? Rick still went out with you! If that ain't love girl…." She sashayed off the camera, her two pigtails and large hoops highlighting the fact she was no basic chick.
"Yeah Chonne. What she said!" Daryl said giving the camera two thumbs up.
Rick came back into focus, his blue eyes looking like HD quality staring back at her.
"So ummm...that's how it went. Well...not really but I hope you get the point. I'm ready to make new memories with you whenever you are. I love you."
The movie blackened out and she was filled with an overwhelming lightness in her heart.
As comical as it was she was in a sea of her own tears thinking that she didn't deserve Rick. He was right, they were right. Their past wasn't as important as the exciting future ahead of them. This baby she carried that was half of her and half of Rick was that future, it was the thing that was going to bind them all together even tighter than before. Even if she couldn't remember conceiving this baby he was still an incredible gift. She thought about Andrea and Shane who wanted a baby so desperately and how their loss was the caveat for the death of their marriage, she had to cherish the gift of life inside her.
Life wasn't meant to travel backwards, her past was never supposed to be a place of residence. She decided she wasn't going to stay locked in the past, not when there were so many opportunities for love and family waiting for her to embrace it. Pain was given an eviction notice. She wasn't going to let it reside in her mind where memories used to live.
Her metamorphosis was all because of Rick, because of his selflessness and his total embodiment of what love was. She would never get over how patient he'd been with her or how good of a dad he was to their two precious boys. She couldn't wait to see how much he was going to love the new baby too. Her heart felt like it was soaring out of her chest, bouncing from cloud to cloud as she let herself loose in the emotion she was feeling. Rick Grimes had filled her heart, touched the deep recesses of her mind and touched her soul more than he touched her body.
She wasn't going to spend any more time convincing her mind what her heart knew all along.
She loved Rick and she didn't need a working brain to know it, to believe it or to feel it.
She wanted to be everything he saw in her.
She looked at the clock on the wall; it was 5:30. She had an hour max before he got home and she needed all sixty minutes of it to conduct her own shenanigans. She dried her eyes with the sleeve of her t shirt and got to work.
Tiredness ate at him, taking bites of his feet first. He all but dragged inside the house. For a minute he forgot about the sleepover at the farm, he and Michonne were alone tonight. He was dead on his feet but if she wanted to go out tonight he would do it. It would be good for her to get out of the house. As he walked up the tiled driveway and walked around to the back as was his custom; it was an easy way to secure the parameters while walking into the room his family occupied most days around the time he was arriving home.
Michonne?" He called, silence permeating the spotless kitchen. His nostrils flared as the scent of steak and potatoes enticed him to the stove. She had cooked and it was another one of his favorites. She created a feast; garlic steak with asparagus and cheesy potatoes. His mouth watered, ready to dive in after the day he had but he needed to check on her first before he stuffed his face. Maybe they could do dinner and a movie Grimes style tonight.
Before he could proceed further into the house his peripheral vision caught tiny yellow flashes of paper on the cupboard, on the counter and the fridge door. Someone had created a sticky note fiesta in his kitchen and he missed it upon entry. Curiosity made him scan a few and he recognized Michonne's sexy, cursive penmanship before he could comprehend the words.
What he read made his throat dry and his dick hard. He swallowed and read a few.
The honor of your presence is requested in bed. There was an arrow pointing to the yellow paper trail and he took two steps where he read the next one in line.
To do list. You. You again.
He walked to the arrow pointing to the note on the fridge.
I love you, even more so when you're naked. He read another one stuck on the fridge. The hairs on his body stood still, he wondered if he was daydreaming of Michonne again.
Grab the ice cream. Just in case, bring two tubs.
He got the ice cream out of the freezer and a spoon under ten seconds. There was no time for deliberation. He didn't know what was waiting for him upstairs but he was too excited to linger down in the kitchen while his mind was filled with suspense.
He followed the last arrow that lead to the staircase. On the wall were three more post it notes all in ascending order, he tried to take each step on steady feet but arousal was blurring his vision.
His hunger for food had dissipated, he now had an insatiable need for his wife.
Hurry, don't want to start this party without you.
His eyes blurred from his intense arousal and he managed to read the last one and almost fell down the stairs, surprised by Michonne's welcomed boldness.
By the time you get up here, you better be naked.
He took off his shirt and under shirt and left them hanging on the balcony. Next he unbuckled his belt and zipped his fly down feeling instant relief as his erect dick sprang free.
Feeling like he had climbed mount Everest because it took forever to get to their room, he leaned on the doorframe, grateful that the column was there for support because he wouldn't have had the strength to keep himself upright at the vision in front of him.
Michonne was naked in their bed, her chocolatey skin in stark contrast against their white sheets.
She was a masterpiece, a Renaissance painting come to life. Only her image would forever remain in his mind, untouched and unblemished. The slight swell of her belly turned his swollen member to a raging hard on.
"Welcome home Rick. What took you so long?" She spread her legs wide as he stood at the bottom of the bed, there was no questioning if she was wet for him. He couldn't recall walking in the room once his eyes absorbed her. It was her magnetic pull that had brought him to her courts.
"I'm here now" he said slipping off his pants. She smiled and bit her lip like she knew a secret and he didn't.
Whatever was about to happen he knew it was a night they were never going to forget.