This is still the sequel to Anything is Possible in the Mall. And I still don't own anything, unless you count Obnoxious Man, Chuck, and Gertrude's Daughter…but why would I want to own them anyway?
PS The roller coaster in this chapter is probably fake…I couldn't remember a real one in Disney so I made one up!
And can any one answer this question? I am honestly curious! Why, in every fanfic that there has a shower scene, that they always say how the water relaxed Bella/ect. Muscles. I mean, I know that it happens, but what ever happened to "I took a shower and got dressed." Now it's all, "I love the shower, the scorching water relaxes my tense muscles. The perfect end to my perfect day." I know that most people write theses parts really well, But I was just wondering….
Okay, I just wanted to say: I am a little dissapointed in the reviewing that has been going on. Are you guys trying to punish me for that hiatus. Because I am sorry, but not reviewing hurt a little...
"I don't have a choice, do I?"
"Not really"
"Great"
APOV
Rosalie had still not returned from her 'Emmett doesn't like cars' depression. And Bella and Edward and Esme looked really bored. Carlisle was so nervous he started twitching, I mean your eye, your arm, and your left leg should not be moving in unison like that.
"So Carli…have you ever heard of…the Rockin' Roller?"
"The what-ity what?"
"The Rockin' Roller, the tallest Roller coaster here!"
"Oh, W-w-w-what about it J-Jasper?" Carlisle was starting to sweat here, we all knew he was afraid of coasters. And Emmett slowly pouring some pedestrian water on his head was making him look like he really was sweating.
"Well, I dare you to go ride to the top-"
"That doesn't seem like a very good dare Jasper."
"I know Emmett, that's why I wasn't finished. Anyway, I dare you to ride to the top, then get out of the coaster and start to dance & sing to the macarana!" (I probably spelt it wrong, but the dance thing that everyone does at parties and stuff…)
"Jasper! Are you possessed? What on earth would make you think I would do that?"
"Because I am daring you to. Duh. Why else, its not like we can get you dru- " An evil grin spread over my husbands face. "Emmett, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"No Jaspers, Eddie's the mind reader, remember?"
"No you idiot, Just come with me!" And with that they left. So from the original eight, we were left with five. Rosalie and her King Arthur self were still no where to be seen.
After waiting what seemed forever, Emmett and Jasper were back with…why the heck would they need tequila shots?
"Here dad, take this."
"Jasper, I know what it is and I am not going to take it."
"Look…Pamela Anderson!" Carlisle looked away, and Jasper shoved three or four shot glasses into his mouth. Esme slapped him once he realized that there never was Pamela Anderson. He crunched down, ingesting the glass and all.
"More Jazzy-poo, MORE!" Wow, it sure didn't take a lot to get my Dad drunk. No one in their right mind would call Jasper Jazzy-poo.
After a few more eaten shot glasses, Carlisle was ready to start his dare. Esme reluctantly 'borrowed' a stereo so Carlisle wouldn't have to remember the word by heart, even though I am pretty sure he did.
We got in the back of the line. And I looked toward Jasper, being my husband, he knew exactly what that look meant. He was to dazzle his way to the front of the line so we could 'join him'.
It worked, sorta. Apparently, the kinds of people who go on this ride are teenagers. Lovesturck hormonal teenage girls with not so happy boyfriends. On the way to the front Jasper must have gotten at least three slaps in the but and one bra with a phone number stuck to it? The girl's boyfriend wasn't very happy, but when he realized that Jasper was at least 7 inches taller than him, he backed away like a dog between his knees.
Toward the front of the line, there was a bunch of old people…lots of old people. Old, elderly, craving excitement, old people. Old people that wouldn't move out of the way for a very handsome husband of mine. Well, one lady moved…and gave Jazz a pinch in a not so public spot. She reminded me of someone….
So we were all close to the front now, dragging a not so sober Carlisle behind us. We handed him the boom box as we got up on the platform to load the roller coaster. The attendant looked at Emmett, drooled a little, and then snapped back to reality.
"Uhm , I am sorry…sir, but I think I am going to have to ask you to please step onto the scale." Emmett raised his eyebrows, obviously offended. He bent over to look at her nametag.
"Uhm, I too am sorry…Regan? But I don't think I want to step on said scale." He was really laying it on thick. Did he think this girl was going to live after this? I mean, she might need years upon years on therapy after her 'dazzlement'. I feel real bad for this girl.
"uhh-uhh, uhh, I am really sorry, but it's the policy. We are not allowed to have anyone over three hundred pounds on the ride."
"Three hundred pound? Do I look like I weigh three hundred pound to you?" Emmett faked the hurt tone he was over using.
"Uhm, muscle weighs more than fat? You still have to step on it." Emmett did so, and smiled because the scale read 250 lb.
"Emmett, you need to put both feet on the scale for it to work right."
"Edward, I hate you right now."
"That's okay, I love yah too brother!" Emmett stepped both feet on the scale and well, the thing kinda cracked when it went past 500 pounds.
"UH" Emmett smiled sheepishly.
"I am terribly sorry, but you cant ride this coaster, I don't think you can ride anything, It's a safety hazard." We all got into the car, leaving Emmett pouting and behind. While we were starting along the track, Regan moved closer, ever so slowly closer to Emmett, who tried to back away and cracked the…well it didn't look much like a scale after Emmett cracked it into a million tiny pieces.
Up, up, it seemed forever until we reached to top. At a flat spot, Jasper grabbed and pushed Carlisle out of the cart, gathering gasps from the other patrons here.
We kept passing him, so Jasper threw the boom box at Carlisle, which accidentally hit him off the side of the head.
In no time at all we were back where we started, the ride over. Carlisle was still there, and Regan was getting cozy with Emmett. Emmett was flirting back, maybe trying to get her to let him go on the ride.
All of a sudden, a little kid yelled "OH NO! A MAN! HE IS STUCK UP THERE!"
Carlisle was bent over, fiddling with the boom box, trying to get it to turn on. The next thing you know, all you can here is "Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena !Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena !Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Ehhhh, Macarena" at full blast.
DANGGGG! What kind of boom box did we get? Was this thing designed by NASA or something? It was loud! Almost simultaneously Carlisle started shaking his hips and flailing his arms in the air. Drunken vampires don't dance well at all!
He kept going even though he began stumbling. He was almost done with one rotation of the dance, when he began to jump to turn to his right, and fell, holding on to the roller coaster by one hand. If he fell, he would be okay, but our secret would definitely be blown. Hopefully he could think clearly enough to see that.
He pulled himself up and started dancing again! By now, Regan, the attendant had called for paramedics and security, and a few news vans showed up. I briefly heard one reporter saying "Here, at the Happiest Place on Earth, a man, whose identity is yet to be discovered, is what appears to be dancing, but could be performing, what has been called an ancient ritual to awaken the dead ancestors of us Floridians."
Wow, they were off. If only they knew he was drunk and carrying out a dare from his vampire children.
All of a sudden a bunch of microphones were being shoved in our faces. Emmett was attacked first, but refused to say anything. We were all backing toward each other, when we formed a group, and the reporters decided to ask questions at once.
"Who are you?"
"Do you know the man at the top of the coaster?"
"Is there a reasoning behind his acts of stupidity?"
"Why are you so pretty?"
"Will you go out with me?"
Emmett, thinking he was the man in charge, pushed us all to the back with a little more force than necessary, and "took the lead, as a hunky man such as himself should for his family."
"Listen People of Florida! It is I, the amazing Emmett who shall meet your information-deprived needs!" He said this in that kind of fake announcer voice that you here on cartoons all the time, when the introduce the hero, or report the news. (spongebob squarepants…)
"UH, Why do we car- "
"NO INTERRUPTIONS! Now, I, the amazing Emmett, Shall tell you all you need to know. We are innocent bystanders, and though we make look related, we do NOT know the crazy loon ontopofhtecoaster!" He said the last bit in a hurry and then ran. We ran after him, not wanting to be left alone with a bunch of reporters…
He hid behind a tree resembling the one Obnoxious Man hid behind and then decided to point to Carlisle and have us watch. Apparently they were going to get Carlisle down by using a helicopter. The had a hook of some sort attached to him and were dragging him along like a work on a fishing hook.
After twenty minutes, they were safely on the ground. Reporters swarmed Carlisle. I could briefly here
"Who are you?"
"I am…Monty…Chubby CHEEKS!" He put his hands up to his face and smushed his cheeks together, sticking out his tongue and drooling a bit more than necessary.
"Mr.…Monty Chubbycheeks, What were you doing up there?"
"I was dancing the freakin MACARANA! What did you think I was doing?"
"Uhm…"
I decided to get Carlisle out of there. I had Emmett create a diversion by dancing the can can (spelling? O well) so Jasper could grab Carlisle and steel him away from the limelight.
"ThanksguysIwasstartingtothinkyouabandonedme!" Carlisle was obviously still drunk. So much for father figure…
We slowly sneaked away, though we could here the reporters finishing their newscasts:
"And so the Mr. Chubbycheeks has left the building! Er- the park? We are not sure of Monty's exact location…it seems he has scurried off to somewhere…"
Scurried? Did he resemble a squirrel or something? Carlisle turned to Edward, a little more sober than a few seconds ago and said
"Truth or Darey Sonny?" Wow, we need to get this guy back too normal…it was starting to scare me!
Chances are vamps can't get drunk, but we are just going to overlook that fact for now…
Remember: freerice . com (without the spaces)
17 reviews! I think my guideline for reviews shall be at seventeen. So yah, its not a permanent number, just a guideline. So review! 17 happens to be my favorite number && Edward's age! Isn't that a freaky coincidence?
Okya, I personally liked this chapter..but that just my opinion. Do you agree?