This is probably my favorite chapter. I absolutely love it for some reason.
But my editor, Grace, hates Saniya so much that she is pretty much refusing to actually edit, so it might not be very good grammatically or with spelling and stuff.
I'm so hyped for the next ark now you don't even know.
I really hope you enjoy!
Saniya had been raised to never love. Born what some called a 'main character,' the devastation that trailed her was a given. Her mother's words were so permanently engraved in her mind that they might as well be a tattoo.
"You mustn't love a soul that's not of our blood, child. For all those you love shall never love you back and, when they do find love, your lover shall die," She was only 7. Her mother reminded her of this constantly, moving schools at every sign of close friends. People of the same gender were included, meaning Saniya had no one to have as friends.
The only time she had a friend to keep was at age 13. Her parents, then living in Japan, had made a business deal with another bank in Germany. They'd create a joint business, and aim to spread the name internationally. The children of the other family they'd joined, Emmy and Casper, were her first real friends. Her mother couldn't take them away from each other since they went to the same school, their parents were constantly together, and they lived within walking distance.
Saniya's mom sure did try, though.
It worked for a while, and Saniya was at first only kind of friends with Emmy since they were the same age. Casper, a graduate planning to study psychology after a one year break, was out volunteering when Emmy and Saniya were normally together.
Saniya did, however, become very close to Casper when he started volunteering at their school. Since he was planning on becoming a psychology major at some school in America, he decided that a background with working with disabled children would be a nice place to start. He also just really liked children.
She got to talk to him more often, and he'd help her out whenever she needed it. The age gap between them wasn't too great since by the time she was 14 he was only 17, him having skipped a year. They became very close, and she was at their house constantly.
And against everything she'd been trying to avoid for so long, she fell for him. She ignored it, telling herself that if she didn't believe it, it didn't take effect.
She realized she was wrong the day he said he had a girlfriend.
She realized she was wrong when on that same day, a shooter came into her school.
She realized she was wrong when she heard that Casper had died, standing in the way of a room with a disabled child he'd been working with.
After that day, everything fell apart. She avoided everyone and everything, devoting full time to her school work. She supported Emmy through it, but quickly left her behind when she started healing.
Her mother knew it was her fault, and never let her live it down.
"I hope you know what you owe that poor girl," her mother would hiss, staring at her through her sharp glasses. She was relentless , always bringing it up when the families would get together.
At age 15, Saniya was accepted to Asagao Academy. She didn't want to go to a prestigious school, instead planning on going to a local academy instead. But her father insisted in enrolling, and her mother brought up the genius idea of sending Emmy along too. She made Saniya pay.
Her avoiding Emmy had to cut short quickly, since they were roommates and in the same class. Plus her mother said that it was now her job to look out for her.
She did a pretty shit job at that.
Only about one week in, Emmy was mugged in an alleyway. Since she was wearing the school uniform in an attempt to stretch out the size-to-small uniform, Emmy planned to wear it out to the city when they went for food. Saniya stopped by a shop to buy some food to keep at school, and told Emmy to walk on ahead. She luckily caught her just in time to save her life, but not after she'd been severely injured.
The knife wound on her leg wasn't the only wound. When Saniya found her and attacked the stranger, she had stabbed her in both legs multiple times, the side and, sadly, the eye. The leg wounds included severed tendons, few dislocated bones, and an almost shattered ankle. Her side would missed major arteries, but had a lot of blood loss. And the eye wound caused complete blindness in her eye.
The leg injuries were the worst. Each one wasn't too bad, but the sheer amount of them meant she couldn't walk. A wheelchair was her only option, and since Asagao's layout wasn't very wheelchair friendly, she was out for a while.
By the time she was completely okay with walking, and had enough energy to walk across the length of campus, it was already one month away from the first semester exams. Her education wasn't quite in line with what her teacher had been doing, since he'd just been jumping around the book instead of going in order, so they decided to keep her in the program at the recovery center until the next semester.
Saniya had secretly been hoping Emmy'd just go to a separate school, but she came back right on time anyways. She acted like normal, giving her a warm greeting, but quickly sent her off to buy something for her. She couldn't really remember what.
Her world was shattering all over again. She spent every waking moment before then trying to avoid what had happened before, yet no matter what it all came full circle.
So she changed tactics.
Planning it out in her head, she knew the world would do everything it could to make someone love Emmy. It would bend people out of place, make people 'magnetize' to her, just like Casper. Before Saniya knew him, he was always on his own, working as an independent painter. Afterwards, however, there was hardly a moment in the day he wasn't around someone, bringing people to his studio or going to parties he didn't remember being invited to.
Saniya knew this would happen whether she liked it or not. So, instead, she'd just have to pull her away from them. She w the first group to approach her on the first day of school. A group of boys in black and yellow jackets that she later knew as the Hidden Block club. One of them, a tall boy with earrings and a cold look in his eyes, looked at her in both confusion and fear. It was the look of someone who knew you were hurting someone.
Later that day, Saniya was waiting by the walls of the school. In class, instead of listening to her teacher, she focused on the talk of students around her. Two boys in the group with the jackets were whispering back and forth through class about some kind of meeting later that day. One of them said something that caught her attention.
"I really don't want to have to be the one to wake Ian up from that damn tree again."
She decided to investigate, waiting by the gate that led out into the field and train station. And, as she'd guessed, another one of the boys was there not long after. It was the boy with the earrings. She got his attention by saying his name quietly, but he just said "The hell do you want?" and started walking off. She didn't want to be seen threatening a student, so she reached out and pulled him against the wall. He started yelling, so she locked his jaw in place.
"Shut up!" she ordered, not wanting to attract attention. "I don't know what you're doing, but I don't like it. I heard you today, talking to her. I don't appreciate you trying to ruin what I've been working on for so long!" she hissed, moving her face ominously close to his. Anything to get him to leave. Plus, if he avoided her, perhaps all of them would. "She's mine, got it?" That was a lie, she knew it, but it seemed to work. When she let him go, he just put a hand to his jaw. Saniya though she may have pressed a bit to hard. "I don't want to see you around her ever again," she threatened, turning on her heel to leave. Before she got far, she thought about him telling Emmy what she'd said, and turned back. He was in the same position she'd last seen him, not making a move to attack or flee. "And if that isn't enough incentive, then…" she pulled the knife she'd stored in her pocket. "Maybe this is." Saniya knew she wouldn't actually hurt him, but she decided scaring him with death was pretty reasonable. He was gonna die if he loved her either way.
Just like Casper's girlfriend.
After he died, she only lived another week. When on a plane ride out to America to tour the colleges, her plane crashed in the ocean. They found no one alive.
Thinking of that made her want to cry, so she quickly turned and stalked away, leaving Ian to run back to the dorms as she headed in a random direction, eventually reaching the tennis courts. She sat there until it got dark, thinking over her decisions.
Can't go back now.
The next one she saw was when Emmy snuck out at night. Even though she thought she was quiet, Emmy couldn't be silent whenever she had her guitar. Her footsteps were loud, and it'd always bump into things. Saniya never slept much anyways, so she was hardly asleep when Emmy left.
Instead of directly trailing her, Saniya just waited around the bend of the boy's dorm. Past it was the soccer field, a quiet place close enough to the dorms to not have to hike, but just fa enough for anyone to hear you if you spoke.
She just waited there for a few minutes before hearing the Bluebell house's door waited for the kid to walk a few steps before sticking her head around the corner.
A boy in another jacket- she was starting to see a trend- was walking right towards the fields. He seemed to be going out on a walk, his hair not brushed like it would be if he planned to stay out.
Knowing now the next person who was going after her, she turned back to head to the dorms. Then the door opened again. Stopping, she turned back to press herself against the wall. This time the kid walked the other way.
Another yellow and black jacket, but this kid she recognized from her class. Caddy. His hands were shoved deep into his jacket, which was odd since it was still really hot out, even at night.
She trailed him.
He was walking to the library for some reason, and walked to the right side of the building where some trees were planted. He looked around, Saniya ducking behind the library to avoid being seen. He then, finally, pulled his hands out of his pockets.
She'd been expecting something like money, something stolen, or even alcohol or something. She had not been expecting a gun.
But she wasn't gonna complain.
He'd moved some sort of cover to a box under the tree, and he placed not one, but two, guns inside. One of them looked non-lethal, but the other was ominously familiar. Way too familiar.
Another gun of the exact same type was in the hands of the police taken in from the crime scene of a murder. One Saniya was far too familiar with. Casper had been shot by a man using that kind of gun.
The only difference was the faint words etched into the side of Caddy's. The non-lethal, most likely lazer, gun said Salvage, while the other one said Slaughter in red. She stood there as he got up, placing the cover back on. As he turned back in her direction, she hid around the corner again, waiting for him to pass.
She stayed on his trail until they passed Poppy Hall, where she relaxed like she hadn't been there, and called out, "It's a bit late to be walking." The by reeled around, his hands out infront of him.
"I'm sorry I was just I-ah, uh… oh," he started making excuses just to realize it was another student. His gaze hardened. "What?"
She chuckled menacingly, her mind still on the gun, of which he had labeled Slaughter. "I thought firearms were prohibited on school property," she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. She looked up to see his terrified expression. "Am I wrong?"
His hands started shaking, his eyes wide in fear. "B-b… wh… h-how…?" she stammered, his legs twitching like he wanted to move but his feet couldn't. "Y-you… followed me?"
Saniya put a finger up to her mouth. "Details don't matter. What does matter is, I know a little secret and…" she took a step forward, straightening her back. "...you're gonna have to pay for me to keep it."
Caddy's eyes were flickering all over her face, still not moving. "W-wi… with what? I don't have any…" he trailed off mid sentence. "O-oh."
Saniya was smirking, her hand rapping against her leg. "I quite like the name. Slaughter. It just…" she leaned down to look him in the face. "Rolls off the tongue." She straightened her back to look down at him. "Now, I must be going. This was fun. I'd like my payment on my doorknob tomorrow. If it's not there… I think you know what'll happen," she started walking away just to quickly turn around again. Caddy visibly jumped. Laughing quietly, Saniya walked back to her dorm.
Emmy asked why she was still awake when she came back, to which Saniya just said, "You have your reasons, I have mine." Emmy started to go back to bed when Saniya asked one more thing.
"Hey, my phone's not working right and I can't access the notes. Can I use yours?" Emmy just shrugged, pointing to her desk.
"Sure, why not. You know the passcode anyways," Emmy replied, rolling onto her bed. "Just make sure you plug it up."
She used that opportunity to put the newest phone number, labelled only "Shane", into her own phone. Emmy'd only sent two messages, Hey, it's Emmy! And Gn! 3. The last one made Saniya tense. She sent a chain of messages that, if he'd gone to sleep, he'd see in the morning.
The first two she just told him to back off, and, since Emmy had his phone number, she guessed they'd been talking. The one after it, however, was far more threatening.
Don't think I won't kill you. Or her. Either one works.
It was true. If he didn't back off, Saniya would kill him, even if it wasn't by her hands. It'd kill Emmy too. He, of course, wouldn't understand what she meant, but she wasn't lying.
She turned her phone off after sending one final text.
You're choice, Shane. Choose your path.
Before this all went down, Saniya had been dragging Emmy along to practice to keep her away from them. It seemed to be working too, since when Emmy was allowed to go to lunch since Saniya's coach tried to keep Emmy from coming along, Saniya didn't see Ian, Caddy, or any of the other club members nearby, and everyone around her was tense.
She also realized a bit later that she'd been getting a bit too physical with the students. She'd been called down to the office after multiple complaints, but she managed to easily get out of any punishment by bringing up how her father's bank was one of the major sponsors of the school now. She was quickly sent back to class.
She'd always been pretty aggressive, but never to the point where people parted in the halls to let her pass.
Emmy was always by her side now, probably trying to avoid the people Saniya had turned on her. Apparently Shane had yelled at her in the middle of the hall, and Ian and Caddy were nowhere to be seen when she was around.
Then one night, while walking in Poppy Hall, she heard her talking with the boys from class. The boys or, more specifically, the one boy who always fought with Mr. Patrick, and his brother. Apparently they were in Emmy's orchestra. Saniya had hoped she wouldn't have to worry about any of them, and it seemed she'd be okay. Ethan seemed more like a brother or a child, and James, according to Emmy's rare talking, had a major crush on another member.
Saniya had been on the roof, contemplating whether she should go through with the next step of her plan. It'd either be a major success or fail horribly. She had to get Emmy to both break her guitar…
And marry her.
She didn't want to do it, but it was the best plan. If they were married then no one would try to take Emmy away, and if Emmy broke that guitar, Saniya wouldn't have to deal with the most constant reminder of Casper there was.
Casper would always play her music on that guitar.
She sat on the roof, waiting for Emmy to come up. She knew she would. Emmy always played when she was frustrated, and the roof wa the most secluded spot. The clunky footsteps of Emmy bolting up the stairs came from inside. It was dinner time, so something must have happened when she'd bought her food.
Since she was leaning against the building the door to the roof was on, she felt the force of the door swing open. Emmy's shoes made light clinking sounds as they hit the metal of the ladder.
Saniya waited for a while, letting Emmy play for a while longer before finally climbing up the ladder.
Emmy sat on the top, facing the now setting sun. She was just a silhouette, but she was obviously disheveled. Her shoulders were unnaturally slumped, and the hair that once was in a neat bun now lay half around her shoulders.
Sniya took a breath. "Emmy," she whispered, keeping her voice as steady as she could. "Come here." She backed down the ladder, each step heavy with guilt. The wind chilled her face as she watched Emmy slowly step down the ladder. To keep herself steady she knotted her hands together, standing up straight. Her index finger tapped slowly against her knuckle as Emmy looked quietly at her. "I know you're upset right now, but please, I need you to listen," she begged, keeping her voice calm. Emmy was tense, her only response being a nod as she looked away.
She contemplated telling her everything, but she knew Emmy wouldn't- no, couldn't- understand. "There's so many things I wish I could tell you, but I can't. But what I can tell you is this:" she trailed off a bit, and she felt the weight in her eyes grow heavy. "You need to stay away from them." She felt her voice crack on the last word, and as Emmy looked up Saniya felt the tears burning lines down her face.
"And…" her head throbbed as she thought the words over and over in her head. How could I do this? "I need you to… to…" her throat tightened as if it was trying to hold back the words. "To do two things. And I want you to listen before you react." Saniya waited for Emmy to respond with a slow, hesitant nod. She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes locked on Emmy's. "I need you to marry me."
Emmy was visibly taken aback. "W-what? Are you kidding?" Emmy looked angry and confused.
Saniya's heart ached as she spoke, "I know it sounds bad, but I promise," she said, slowly moving forward. Emmy's whole body was tense. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't for the best," she whispered, trying her best to keep herself from falling apart. "I just want to protect you."
Emmy's eyes flashed around for a second before she responded, eyes wide. "Wh… what else did you want to ask?" Saniya realized she was oddly calm for the situation, which just made her feel worse about what she was going to say next. "I need you to… break your…" she couldn't finish, and was only able to stare at the guitar on Emmy's back.
"My guitar?" Emmy whispered, shifting it into her arms. Her eyes were distraught. "But I can't!" her sudden change in volume made Saniya jump. "I can't do any of this! What the heck are you doing, asking me all these questions? Are you trying to mess with me?"
Saniya felt her heart shatter. She never realized she'd pushed Emmy to the point of thinking she'd ever do this for fun. She started sobbing, her eyes closing for a moment. "I'm sorry okay!" she yelled, her crying growing louder. Her hands clenched together, her nails digging into her palm sharply. "I just… I need to…" her voice trailed off into sobs.
She let Emmy remain silent for a while, her face in her hands as she cried. She felt awful, but it was for the best. If they were engaged, there'd be a much lower chance of anyone loving her. And maybe, just maybe, Emmy would fall in love with her instead.
She thought Emmy'd say no. It seemed like the obvious answer. She didn't expect for her to say, "Okay."
Saniya was frozen as she watched Emmy walk to the edge of the roof. Her feet wouldn't move to stop the guitar, now outstretched by one arm, from falling to the floor below. Emmy was frozen even after the sound of the guitar shattering rang through the air. Saniya approached slowly, Emmy's arm never moving from where she was.
"It's okay," Saniya reassured. "You won't regret your decision." She then slowly guided Emmy through the halls, the atmosphere cold. She still heard the shatter of wood against the smooth sidewalk below.
When they made it outside, she saw one of the Hidden Block boys, unrecognisable from where she was, sifting through the now broken guitar. She didn't pay much mind to it, however. She was more focused on getting Emmy back to the dorm.
When they entered the hallways, she got a few strange looks from the girls in the hallway, which she responded to with sharp glares. Emmy seemed completely out of it, especially when they made it to the room. As soon as they walked in, Emmy just walked over to her bed and layed down. Saniya st on the edge, pulling out the ponytail that kept her hair together. She ran her fingers through Emmy's hair until the girl had fallen asleep, and she pulled a blanket up to her shoulders.
Moving away she walked to her dresser, opening the top drawer. Inside was a white box tied off with string. It was a gift from her father.
Pulling the string off, she opened it to reveal a small black box. She already knew that inside sat an unused engagement ring, one he bought for her mother before she ended up proposing instead.
Taking out the box, she gently moved it onto the neighboring dresser, and grabbed some paper and a pen from her desk. She neatly wrote a note: If you want some closure that this is, indeed, real.
Placing the card on top, realizing that she might need some of that closure for herself.
She silently changed clothes, turned off the light, and whispered a quiet 'Goodnight' before rolling over to fall asleep.
…
Protecting Emmy was hard. In a school full of guys who seemed almost scripted to date girls, keeping Emmy away from pretty much all of them was hard. This school also seemed to have a lot of bisexuals and/or lesbians, so girls wouldn't work either.
But after that night on the roof, Emmy seemed to almost give up. Saniya couldn't bring her to tenning practice for a few weeks since the coach was throwing a hissy fit, so she let her go to lunch. And every day she came back to find her, she'd always be alone. She went into the lunchroom with her for lunch and dinner to buy food, but at lunch she always had to run off. Emmy tried sitting at the Hidden Block table one day, but she soon was sitting off on her own, normally scribbling on sheet music or looking over notes.
She'd also fallen into sewing, and made about 20 shirts in the span of three days. Saniya could smell the hint of ash on her one day when she walked in- it wasn't from smoking though. She'd burned something of hers, and Saniya guessed it was the sweater she'd been knitting.
Emmy must not of realized until afterwards that Casper had owned a sweater exactly like it.
Emmy had always been tense about reminders of Casper. It was the only thing that really got her upset. Saniya guessed it was PTS, but she wasn't sure.
Everything was going fine for a while. Emmy was slowly getting used to Saniya's constant company and Saniya was the nicest she'd ever been.
Until Shane had to go and fuck it up.
It was the morning of a tournament game, so she'd have to be up early. She couldn't sleep very well- she almost never did the night of a big game- so she easily heard Emmy leave. It was most likely to get food, she realized, and Saniya, of course, wanted some.
She slowly got changed into her tennis uniform, and left to find wherever Emmy went. She usually made breakfast in the dorm kitchen on weekends, especially since she had a major problem with buying too many eggs from the farmers market since they're cheap. Emmy wasn't in the kitchen, however it did smell like pancakes. Saniya walked to the door out of the dorms, and was about to leave when she saw a familiar color outside.
Or, more accurately, two familiar blobs.
The windows were distorted, so she couldn't make out the exact figures. But she knew instantly the recognisable strawberry blonde and the turquoise-green of the Normal Boots jackets.
"Damn it," she whispered, leaning her head against the glass. She could just barely make out words, but she caught enough to realize Shane was apologizing.
She heard Emmy say one thing that broke her heart. "Saniya was just waiting for me to be at a weak point."
Saniya wanted to open the door, to tell her that she just wasn't brave enough to tell her at any other time. But instead she remained where she was, pressed against the glass to the outside. The mumbled voiced barely made out sentences, but Saniya realized quickly that Shane was asking her to come somewhere.
She opened the door slightly to see Emmy walking off towards Bluebell house behind Shane. She waited until they reached the door to step outside, walking through the shadows the same night she'd approached Caddy. Quickly she pulled up her phone, tapped a name, and put it to her ear.
The phone ringed a few times before a groggy voice answered. "What do you want?" he muttered, obviously woken up. Saniya could hear his roommate mumbling in the background, but ignored it.
"I need you to listen in on someone for me," she started, and could hear the boy's quiet No from under his breath. "West, listen to me. This is important. You know Shane?"
"Gill? Normal Boots? British?" West listed off, and Saniya just made a sound of agreement. "What you need me to listen for?"
Saniya smirked a little. "Anything about Emmy. He should be bringing her to his room to tell her something," she ordered, and could practically feel West's dread.
"Why am I doing this again?" he muttered, but he knew exactly why. Saniya's family's bank sponsored the school, but more specifically, the track team. West, unbeknownst by pretty much anyone not on the track and/or soccer team, was the track captain and midfield of the soccer team. In soccer he was only on field when the ball just wouldn't leave their side of the field since West could run. And he couldn't just run.
He could run fast.
That's why Saniya singled him out; he could easily listen in on conversations and run off without anyone noticing. And he was so unknown around school that even if he was seen, no one would know who he was.
"I'll call you back later," West muttered, and the call ended. Saniya turned her phone off, walking back to her room to wait.
She was about half way through some random kid's croissant when West called her back.
"They started by talking about some broken guitar he found, and then he gave her something. My guess is it's a new guitar. Emmy's voice was really muffled, so she was either crying into her arm or into his shoulder, but she was saying thank you a lot. It had something relating to James, Ethan, and an orchestra, I think? And he's keeping what I assume is a guitar in his room so you don't see it. No if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed."
Saniya just set the phone down in shock. Her plan hadn't worked. At all. And she knew now that Shane was the main problem here, the one most likely destined to steal Emmy away.
But she wouldn't let him.
She wouldn't let Emmy die.
And if Shane had to die to keep Emmy safe… well, Saniya would rather spend life in jail then have another one fall because of her.
So that night, she snuck out. Grabbing the gun from where she'd stored it in the closet, she ran her hand over the engraved lettering. Slaughter. It seemed so fitting now with what she felt. That she'd slaughter anyone to keep her safe.
What the hell had she come to?
It wasn't like she could turn back now. This was the path she'd chosen.
Where had she made the wrong choice?
Or was this where she was supposed to be from the beginning.
The rest of what happened passed by in a blur of movement; threatening Shane, being stopped by Emmy, stabbing Caddy in the leg. She didn't remember any of it.
Her senses returned only after she was looking down the barrel of a gun. The gun that she could've sworn was just in her hand was now in Emmy's. Her entire life, instead of passing by, turned into a single phrase.
I want to go back.
I want to go back.
I want to go back.
And with a sharp crack of the gun…
She did.
She was back, a young child on the day Casper died. The day everything fell apart.
But Emmy wasn't. At least, not her Emmy. She was somewhere else. A different timeline, universe, she didn't know.
All she knew was that she couldn't leave.
She was stuck here.
Forever.
Then she forgot everything.
Just like she had a million times before.
This ending was literally unplanned until I wrote it. And I love it so much better than what I had.
Saniya's life is kind of this paradox where her spirit is always switching- between worlds or timelines no one knows- and every time she switches, she forgets her past life. Her decisions change, and the outcome changes, but she always ends up dieing, either by Emmy's hand or for her.
This time she just didn't make the right choices.
I kind of took this idea from my headcanon for Hana, where every time you reset you aren't a new Hana, but instead the soul of the last one. But every time you do a new route, she forgets, but the world she was just in moves on.
This headcanon is canon in this story, but the only reason she's still here…
Will be revealed later!
Come back soon for the next Ark, Grafitti Hearts Bleed Out!