AMERICA

I rubbed mindlessly at my finger nails. The blood that had once encrusted them long gone, but the feeling of the red substance stayed, a ghost of the truth; I'm losing control.

The day replayed in my mind, making my stomach churn. The thought of not being able to control my own mind making me realize how thin the line of sanity really is; to know the thoughts of a nonexistent person. To believe you're that person.

The knock at the door was unmistakable, but I refused to acknowledge it.

"Gwen?" a voice drifted in from the hallway, the door making the sound soft. I didn't respond, I didn't make a sound. "Gwen?" This time the voice was a little louder, almost a little worried, but I refused to speak.

Finally the visitor burst through the door, making me jump. I didn't turn around on my bed to see who the visitor was, I just kept rubbing at my fingernails, trying to wash away the feeling of the dark, crimson liquid.

I felt the pressure of the visitor's eyes on my back, but still I refused to turn around.

"Please, just leave," I whispered, turning around I was met with a pair of pale blue eyes.

"No," Luke used a gentle voice, but I did not mistake that for kindness.

I looked straight into his eyes, the pale shades swirling together, "What do you want, then?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay," he whispered, but still, I could hear the edge of annoyance protruding his words.

"Hell you do," I murmured to myself but not soft enough.

Luke took in a deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth, "Are you alright?"

"Yup, just goin' crazy," I deadpanned.

A small, sad smile played across his face, "I would expect nothing less." And with that he turned on his heels, making his way to the small wooden door at the other end of the room which he most likely had to duck under to get into the room.

Suddenly, I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be left alone. The words came out before I could stop them, "Wait, Luke."

He looked back at me, his pale eyes dancing in the light, but the expression on his face was what scared me; hopeful and sad, "Yes?"

I closed my eyes, knowing I could not look into his pale ones as I spoke, "Please don't leave just yet."

I slowly raised my eyes to look into his, the emotion was displayed blatantly; surprise and what I thought was confusion. He shook his head slowly as if to shake clear his thoughts and emotion, and when he looked back into my eyes it was as if his face was stripped clean of emotion, "No," he whispered. He turned around and left.

And so I laid down, rubbing my hands raw as, slowly, sleep encased my body and ripped clear my mind of its burden.

MAXON

Sitting here, drowning out the conversation happening all around me, an old quote came to mind.

"Eyes, look out for the last time! Arms, make your last embrace! And lips, you are the doors of breath. Seal with a righteous kiss the deal I have made with death forever."

-Romeo; William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

I was always drawn to this play, but never had I felt the way about the ending before that moment; he was one of the lucky ones.

I realized that now.

He left the world knowing love, knowing the extent at which he would go to never to never know the pain that latched onto my body, slowly, but surely, grinding me down until I was nothing but a shadow. The fact looms over my head, leaving with it a feeling of demise and relief. I relished the relief. Soon, I thought, soon. Soon this nightmare will be over. Soon I will be sitting on the stage again, Kriss on my left, her on my right...

My name broke my reverie and for a second I forgot where I was.

I looked up and saw the party sitting at the table staring at me as if waiting for a response.

"Maxon," I heard from my left again. I turned to see Kriss looking at me her eyes void of emotion, but as I looked closer, I saw that her right eyes was slightly twitching.

I took in a deep breath, smiling as I answered, "My apologies."

She let a small smile lightly touch her features, but I could tell she was trying to be patient with me. "Honey, what do you think?"

I made a minuscule shake of my head as if to will forward the answer. I looked down at my hands and then back up, into her eyes, "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

"What flowers would you like at the reception?" she asked.

I squeezed my hands into fists under the table, and soon felt my nails break through the skin in my hand, but I just covered my true emotions behind a mask, "Ohh, I don't care, as long as I marry you."

AMERICA

Maxon. Prince Maxon intruded my dreams.

We sat across from each other, he held one of my hands, looking into my eyes as he spoke the same word over and over again in a lilting voice, "America, America."

I woke up to sweaty palms and a heavy feeling weighing on my shoulders.

I'm not loosing it, I tried to remind myself.

I looked down at my hands, bright red and blistering, and again, my certainty wavered.

I decided to avoid the idea and slowly got out of bed.

I set my feet on the cold linoleum floor. I stood, almost shivering in the open away from the warmth of my bed.

I stepped forwards, but before I could get too far, a deep spike of pain stabbed its way though my scull, knocking me to my knees.

I curled in on myself, cradling my throbbing head between my knees.

A pitiful cry escaped my mouth, muffled by my hands.

A sudden rush of wind scraped against the top of my head as my room was burst into.

Someone knelt beside me, hesitantly a hand came down on my head, beginning a slow, soothing caress.

"Gwen?" Luke's voice came from the intruder as a strangled cry escaped my mouth.

He pulled back his hand, but I lifted my hand and took his in mine without looking up, wanting-needing-the contact.

And so we sat there, just like that, hands intertwined, not speaking, as the sharp pain in my head turned into a dull throb.

You guys must seriously hate for many reasons.

I hate making excuses, but school and my hundreds of after school activities took over my life, but I'm back and here to stay.

Please pay extra close attention to this chapter. I put in a few very important points that will come up again later.

It is okay if you are mad at me. This chapter was not very pro-Maxerica, and I got a lot of hate about it from some of my friends. You know who you are. Cough, cough, Genevieve.

I'll post again by next Wednesday!

Keep on reading and please review and tell me what you thought!