Chapter 10: Avowal

A rather breathless Mr Darcy arrived at the carved wooden door after having run very indecorously through the courtyard, having taken the stairs two at a time and then skidding to a halt where he was now standing. He took a couple of steadying breaths and knocked more strongly than he felt. Mr and Mrs Gardiner were attending her and he felt his courage falter. Elizabeth looked heartbreakingly distressed and Darcy suggested a quiet walk on the patio to calm her. It was clear to the Gardiners that this invitation was directed solely at their niece and they excused themselves to get ready for dinner.

"You look very beautiful tonight, Elizabeth," he murmured, his courage returning. She had taken a bath and her hair seemed to glow with the delicate arrangement of flowers that her maids had accomplished. She blushed at the compliment and made to thank him of his generosity in a matter that had been revealed to her in the form of the letter from her youngest sister that she had received this afternoon.

"Mr Darcy, I have just heard of your involvement in the Wickham affair. I cannot help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Were it known to the rest of the family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express."

"I am sorry, exceedingly sorry," he replied "that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think the Gardiners were so little to be trusted."

"You must not blame them," she begged. "Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been present at their wedding and I, of course, could not rest till I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."

"If you will thank me," he replied sincerely, "let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you."

Elizabeth remained silent at such an open declaration of affection. She forced herself to look upon his countenance, and found herself unable to turn away. His beautiful hazel eyes seconded his words and she was too overcome with emotion to speak.

"You are too generous to trifle with me. Speaking with Georgiana this afternoon has taught me to hope, as I had scarcely allowed myself to before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."

Elizabeth could hardly believe what her senses were telling her. That he would risk his feelings after such an emphatic refusal in April was most surprising, and she felt both lucky and joyous to have remained in his esteem and regard through such a tumultuous courtship.

"Oh, Mr Darcy," she began. "My feelings are so different - in fact they are quite the opposite!" She saw the expression of heartfelt delight diffuse over his face and thought how it became his handsome features.

"In which case, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth," he smiled, quite unable to believe he could address her so. "You have bewitched me, body and soul and I love you. Would you do me the extraordinary honour of consenting to be my wife?"

"Yes." She replied simply. The joyous expression on her face conveyed all that she was unable to say. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure."

Overcome, and in the private intimacy of the balcony setting, Mr Darcy leaned in for a kiss. Lizzy kissed him back with all the ardour she felt. Breathless, they stood with foreheads touching, basking in the late evening sunlight and smiling at one another. He righted a stray curl as he had done when she was sleeping and yet again marvelled at his good fortune.

"You have made me the happiest of men," he said boldly. Taking her ungloved hand in his, he thrilled at the sensation of her skin on his. It was so different to before, when he was so unsure of his actions and her reactions.

"Your hands are cold," she stated softly, as if not wanting to break the happy quiet. She raised their joined hands to her lips, with a "let me..." He was overcome with joy and kissed her anew. She felt that she could become quite used to such passionate addresses.

"Fitzwilliam I..." she began. It seemed her coherence had been lost alongside both of their inhibitions. He took great pleasure in the way his Christian name sounded on her lips. Barely anybody had addressed him so in recent years but it still excited him to hear his fiancée utter it. She noticed the continued joy on his features and wondered at how they would maintain a charade of indifference at dinner. She tried again.

"Fitzwilliam I love you," she said simply. He pulled her to him ecstatically for the third time.

"I could get used to this," he remarked softly.

"Me too," she said, though he heard the tone of jest and pulled away to better see her face. She sighed her protest. "The view from this balcony is spectacular. I am very much in love with it already." Only one who had studied her countenance as often as Mr Darcy had would recognise the adoration behind the mischief.

"Well thank goodness for that," he teased back. "It wouldn't do for my fiancée to be disappointed with her new home before she were even Mistress of the house." She smiled subconsciously at the thought that she would soon wake up to this view, handsome fiancé included. "Though I think I originally meant that I could get used to holding you in such a fashion. The time until we are wed is going to be torturous."

"I do believe my father is coming soon. You may ask for his consent and we could be married within a month," she replied seriously. "Surely we can both manage admirably for such a time. We have our whole lives to hold each other after that." Her heart leapt at the thought. She had been trying to comprehend the evening's events since they had transpired. He still loved her, and he would be hers! Such happiness she had never known.

"So we do," he replied wistfully, caught up in his long-founded dreams. She was to remain at Pemberley, as his wife! Such happiness was inconceivable. Such joy he had never allowed himself to hope for. He yet again expressed himself as properly as a man violently in love could be expected to. "I hope your father arrives soon, I cannot contain such happiness for much longer. May we tell my sister after dinner?" He asked hopefully. Squeezing his hand affectionately, she declared that little else would bring her more joy. Only on their wedding day would she be happier!

Feeling that he was monopolising his bride-to-be, he placed his hand on the small of her back. His heart lurched at the beautiful blush that painted her cheeks and she remarked that she rather liked the feeling of his closeness. Side-tracked once again by her exquisiteness, he tried to be good and return her to her Aunt and Uncle.

"My dear Lizzy," he whispered to the hollow beneath her ear. The deep timbre of his voice and the way he had called her Lizzy made her shiver. "I fear that if I do not return you to your Aunt and Uncle immediately, it is unlikely that we will make it to dinner with our virtues intact. I love you, so I do not want to compromise you in any way, but you are far too beautiful for your own good."

"Fitzwilliam!" If it weren't for the mischievous glimmer in her eyes, he would have thought her offended. "I suppose we ought to go in search of my future sister then – we have some very important news to inform her of."

So it was. He offered her his arm, which she gladly accepted, and they entered the house as coolly as they could manage given the circumstances.