Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society... I am just inspired by it.

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I wake up with an unfamiliar warmth and weight across my chest, and smile to myself as I realize it's Todd's arm. My own arm is a little sore from being under him, but I don't want to wake him just yet. I squint a bit at the light coming in the window, guessing it must be 7:30 or 8:00. We've got a little while before we'll have to get up for chapel. I watch Todd for a moment, smiling to see him looking so relaxed and peaceful for the first time since... well, since the night of the play.

Todd stirs a little, snuggling closer to me. Then his eyes open and he blinks at me in astonishment. "It... it wasn't a dream?" he asks a little uncertainly.

"No dream," I reply softly, brushing my lips against his cheek.

He blushes and sits up. "I didn't... I thought... you... you're not mad?"

I sit up as well. "Not at all, Todd. Although I think we're going to need to talk. Somewhere we won't be overheard. The cave, maybe? Or does that have too many bad memories now?"

"Not the cave," he says. "Nolan knows about it, after... after everything. Knox and Meeks and Pitts... they broke. And whatever you told him, of course."

I flush, looking down. "Right... I forgot about that. He'd know to look there, then. Um, how about the bell tower, then?"

Todd thinks about that, then nods. "After chapel, then? But before lunch?"

"That's probably the best time." I stand up, then offer him a hand up as well. "I... call me a wimp if you want, but... last night... meant a lot to me. I don't want anything to mess it up."

He smiles then, taking my hand as he stands and pulling me into a quick hug. "Me either. So we'd better go start getting ready." He grabs his clothes from his wardrobe, then ducks out the door, heading for the showers.

I make up my bed, then get my own clothes and head off to shower. Todd passes me in the hallway as I return to the room, obviously heading down to breakfast and chapel. I hurry along to the dining hall as well, finding a seat near the fringes of where Todd is sitting with Meeks and Pitts. Those two are going on and on about Amy and Tina and the wonderful time they had last night. I grin to myself as they announce with some awe that Amy is going to arrange for them to meet her father, the integrated circuit fellow. Oh, and that Amy and Tina are going to meet them at the soda shoppe on the next town pass weekend. I can't help but wonder which event they're anticipating more... dates with real girls, or meeting a man who is apparently some sort of leader in the engineering field that I know they're both interested in entering.

After I finish eating, a better than usual breakfast thanks to the presence of the female guests who aren't scheduled to leave until after chapel services, I wander off to the chapel a little early. I have some thinking to do. Why is it, I wonder, why is it considered so wrong to have feelings for a member of one's own sex? I continue to ponder throughout the service. And I finally decide: it's only wrong because society says so.

I hang back after the service is over, sneaking to the staircase leading up to the tower. I climb to the top, smiling to see Todd waiting for me as I emerge through the trap door. As soon as I shut it, he gives me a kiss. I can't help but smile and kiss back.

"I still can't believe last night really happened," he smiles, huddling close to me for warmth.

"I just can't believe you gave me a chance, Todd," I tell him, brushing his cheek with my thumb. "I... you know as well as I do what will happen if word of this gets out."

"Yeah," Todd frowns. "Is that what this is about?"

I nod. "I meant it when I said I didn't want to lose you, Todd. But if we get caught..." I grimace. "We'll both be expelled. And God only knows what will happen with our families."

Todd laughs mirthlessly. "My father is already convinced I'm worthless," he says flatly. "He always calls me five ninety-eight... the value of the raw chemicals in the human body. He'd praise my brother's accomplishments, and tell me I'd better bust my ass to be more like Jeffrey, or all I'd ever be worth in this life is five ninety-eight. He wants me to be a doctor like him and like Jeffrey, but at the same time, he expects me to fail at it. The only thing that would bother him about finding out I'm queer is that someone might question his masculinity, for fathering a queer."

Dear God, I think, what kind of hell has Todd lived all his life? I pull him closer to me, trying to comfort him as best as I could. "Damn it, Todd, you are not worthless," I tell him. "You're worth ten of me. You're caring and understanding and forgiving... and how you got that way in spite of your father is beyond me. And you're strong. You're the only one of the Society that didn't break. I broke... I broke first. Granted, I was lashing out, but I still broke."

"You were trying to save us, though," Todd says softly. "I think you just didn't realize how much Keating meant to us... to you, even. I saw you stand on your desk with the rest of us that day."

I nod, still red-faced. "Anyway... I just... I have an older brother too, but I know my father will be horribly disappointed when he finds out I'm queer. I'll probably end up thrown out, so I want to try to keep it quiet until graduation. I can work my way through college somehow, if I can just get through Welton."

Todd nods in understanding. "So how do we manage, then?"

"Well... senior year, we get to choose roommates. Maybe we could... get to be friends... for public purposes, I mean... so that no one will think twice if we request each other as roomies next year?"

"That might work. But how...?"

I think fast. "Umm... well, you're brilliant in English. I'm good in trigonometry and chemistry. We started being civil to each other at the dance last night, so maybe you decided to ask me for some help? Or I could ask you, either way. English is my worst subject anyway."

He smiles warmly. "That's great, Richard! I'll let you ask me, though. Meeks is good at trig as well, and he might wonder why I went to you instead of him. And we probably shouldn't use first names in public, since we never did before."

"I hadn't thought of that, but you're right," I say.

Todd smiles and gives me a kiss. "I'm also freezing. Are we done for now?"

I laugh. "Yeah, we're done for now. Go warm up. I'll come asking for help tonight when everyone is studying. Ignore it when the others give me the cold shoulder. They'll come around or not, on their own." I open the trapdoor and peek down. "All clear... get out of here."

He smiles and gives me a thumbs-up as he drops through the hatch. I wait a few minutes, then follow. I wonder if there's anything special I can do for him, that won't get us caught. After a while, I think of something that I'm sure he'll like. There's a serious risk, but I know how much it will mean to him if I can pull it off. Instead of heading back to the dorm, I stroll casually towards Nolan's office.

I'm going to find out Keating's new address.