Chapter notes - None again really... So far no one has told me to change to the M rating. I guess I should try harder! Eiri seems to be lightening up a bit. Wonder how long that'll last? Hmm... I was not too pleased with the last chapter, probably because I didn't have the energy to do a lot of cleaning up. Hopefully I'll be happier with this one, and so will "you"!

I've been toying with the idea of writing a piece for Mushishi. Should I give it a shot? I'm not sure... and now I am just rambling.

Read and review and if you like this story still, be sure to check out the beginning of the story that is being published separately.

In the morning Shuichi sat up in bed, listening to the city waking up and Eiri still breathing slowly in his sleep. It was all so different now. It was what he had dreamed of, and more really. The worries of Eiri changing back to his cold and distant self were fading completely. Only a little twinge of it remained. He still felt like being careful with what he said in case he might cause some of that old anger to arise in him. He was being remarkably patient however, no matter what was going on.

"You're up with the dawn." Eiri mumbled, face still half buried in his pillow.

"Yeah… I have a lot to think about."

"Like being a super star…" He yawned.

"Nah… I just want to sing. I love to sing, to perform for people, whether or not I'm famous… I have a question for you, and I don't want you to get mad…"

"I won't. Ask it."

"Why do you want to keep your name away from the band? Are you embarrassed? Maybe of me? Is it demeaning to have your name associated with a pop band? Do you think it will hurt your career? Or maybe--"

Eiri interrupted him before things could get too out of hand, "Do you want an answer or would you like to give me all the possible choices first?"

"I want an answer. I guess I was just trying to tell you everything I thought it might be." He smiled, hugging his knees to his chest.

"It will be faster if I just explain."

"Okay."

"Do you want people to say in the future that your band was successful because of the involvement and support of famous novelist Eiri Yuki? Or do you want people to say that your band was successful because of its own talents? Because if you put my name closer to your band than it already is, you will have the former and not the latter."

"Oh…."

"The media are already starting to say that your fame is not you, it's my involvement… A result of the fans' excitement over our very public and unexpected relationship. I don't want you to ever look back and think that you couldn't have made it on your own."

"You don't want me to feel like Fujisaki does… Only making it because of someone more powerful and influential…"

"Correct. You have made it this far without me so you can do the rest… But I will be here to help you if you want me to… Believe me… the closer we become, the more I want to ensure your success… and the more I want to write for you. I want to hear the words I write coming from your voice set to music from your mind… But that is selfish."

"It's more beautiful than selfish… I want that too. I want to be partnered with you, doing things we love. What you did write for me was incredible, but way too personal for me to ever sing anywhere other than here at home in the shower." He smiled down on Eiri and stroked his hair, "I want that one to be just for me."

"It is just for you. I'm happy that you won't sing it anywhere else."

"Okay. I understand your reasons now. I'll have to decide whether or not I want to take that chance."

"Yes, you will."

He stroked Eiri's forehead now, "You're getting more comfortable with us…"

"Yes… I'm glad you're seeing that."

"Yeah, a lot… Last night was the first time that I ever…" He stopped, blushing hard.

"Relaxed enough…" He finished Shuichi's thought for him with a smirk.

"I guess I've always been too worried about it hurting… And you said I was being a baby the first time… It just hurt."

"Sorry… I shouldn't have been so mean to you."

"Yeah." He frowned and poked at Eiri.

"Ouch… Eventually, I will make it up to you."

"You think so?"

"I hope so anyway."

He pulled Shuichi down onto the bed and gave him a good example which left him gasping. Eiri sat up and leaned over Shuichi at last, smiling wryly and drawing a finger across his lips.

"I think you might need a shower before going to the studio today."

"Aaaa…"

"A vowel. I guess I didn't do well enough. I figured you would be mute." Eiri kissed his open mouth, "Take your time." Then he got out of bed and pulled on his robe, leaving Shuichi there alone to recover at his own pace.

It took a while but he managed to get up to go shower and dress before joining Eiri on the sofa for coffee. He shivered from lingering sensations and took his first sip of the day.

"You okay?" Eiri inquired after a protracted silence.

"Mmmmh, yes… How did you learn to do that so good?"

"I'm not going to say."

"It's gonna be a really good day." He sighed and smiled happily.

"Don't forget… Suit."

"Right. I'll be home by 3."

"Good. This is the last possible time for it… otherwise you're going to go in your ratty 'Punisher' T-shirt and whatever neon tiger-striped pants you pick out from your extensive collection."

"You think they'd be impressed?" He tilted his head.

"I think they'd pass out… Now get going. You're going to be late."

He went into the studio feeling especially dreamy that morning. Fujisaki groaned at his expression, "You will be useless today, won't you?"

"No. I'll be useful. Just reeeeeally happy."

Then he hurried home just before 3pm and found that Eiri was also just coming in, held the elevator door for him.

"Hi! Where were you?"

"Hospital." Eiri replied simply.

"Whaa?? Are you all right??" He started to panic immediately.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Why did you go then??"

"Can't you wait until we are in the apartment?" Eiri's forehead started to crease with annoyance so Shuichi backed down.

"Okay…" He said in a small voice, but inside his heart was still thumping quite loudly.

"Don't worry." He sighed at Shuichi's pout, "You're going to get an ulcer and you're not even 20 yet."

"It'll be your fault…"

"Probably." He agreed with a nod.

The moment they were in the door Shuichi was bothering him about the purpose for his trip to the hospital.

"Quiet…" Eiri took him by the shoulders, "I went to meet with the counselor. That is all."

"You said you wanted me to go with you though!"

"I do. It was simply an initial meeting to talk about what was going on with me overall. The counselor in New York pretty much filled this woman in on my background so… we just talked a bit about my present state of mind, what happened since I left New York, how the new medication was treating me… and that I wanted to bring you along to some other sessions. It would be rude of me to simply show up with you out of the blue..."

"So… is it really okay for me to go?"

"We will go together next time. Are you more relaxed now?"

"Not really."

"I didn't think so." He smiled slightly, "Shu… go put your backpack away and get a soda."

"Okay." He stood there just looking up at Eiri instead.

"I'm not hiding anything from you." He said at last.

"I know… I believe that… It's just… strange." He stood on his toes and kissed Eiri, "Thanks."

"Yeah. Welcome. We'll go find your suit when you've rearranged your brain."

"That might take forever!"

"I hope not. We don't have that long."

Shuichi went off to the bathroom, washed his face and straightened his hair, dug in the closet to put on a different shirt so he wouldn't stand out quite as much when they went out… Then, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, he realized it was pretty useless. He would always be who he was and unless he dyed his hair black again, he was going to stand out in a crowd no matter what he was wearing. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the bottle of pills on the counter there.

"I wonder if you'll ever be able to stop taking these…" He sighed and wandered off to get a soda from the kitchen and join Eiri in leaning on the railing of their balcony where he was having a smoke, "It's getting warmer out, huh?"

"Spring is coming." Eiri agreed.

"A good time for weddings." He smiled.

"Don't get any clever ideas of you in a white kimono."

"I was thinking a more colorful one…" He waved his hand in the air as though painting.

"Shuichi… you are crazy." He shook his head, flicking his ashes into the breeze.

"A really bright uchikake with long sleeves… Something to match my hair… And you in a crisp black kimono and haiori. Beautiful… Yeah, I can see it now… You and me under the cherry blossoms."

"Chh… I suppose you would invite the entire family too."

"My sister would definitely come."

"So would mine… and laugh the entire time." He actually smiled a bit at the thought.

"Where will we go for our honeymoon?"

"New York. I promised you, after all."

"That would be good."

"In the mean time… we will clothe you as a male." He reached over and pushed Shuichi's head to the side playfully.

"I prefer that. I am just kidding you know."

"About the wedding or the uchikake?"

"The latter. I definitely want the honeymoon."

"Agreed. Now let's go."

They went to a high end store where Eiri usually bought his better clothes and Shuichi put up with the fitting process so he could look suitably formal for the upcoming family encounter. It was way different from shopping for T-shirts and fashionably torn jeans.

"Except for the hair… you almost look normal." Eiri looked him over where he was still standing statue-still, trying to avoid being poked with one of the many pins that were in the suit he was modeling.

"Do you think I should dye it black? At least for this trip?"

"No. We will be proper in some ways… but you are who you are. It's not as though they have never seen your bright hair before."

"Okay. It's your call… You sure this looks okay?"

"Yep. It's fine. Perhaps you can wear it to a wedding soon."

"A couple maybe!"

Shuichi smiled even more when the guy came back to finish fitting the suit, finally setting him free again. They were told to come back in a couple hours to pick it up. Shuichi's mother called while they were out for dinner, asking if everything was going all right. She had seen the interview as well so she knew that Eiri was back and announcing that they were together.

"I… just wanted to check in to make sure you're all right."

"I'm fine. Everything's going really well. We're going to Kyoto tomorrow."

"Kyoto? Isn't that where he's from?"

"Yeah. We're going to meet with his family. I'm not looking forward to it and neither is he."

"Be careful, Shu… His family must be furious."

"I will be very careful… but I'm not too worried. Eiri will take care of things."

"Well, maybe you can have some fun while you're there. It's a beautiful place."

"I hope so."

"You could always try dating a girl… Then things wouldn't be so difficult."

"Mom, please… I love Eiri, so try to… I don't know… Try to be all right with that. Okay?"

"I suppose I might feel better if he didn't seem like such a cold person. He has been very hard on you, despite his writing skills."

"It's all okay now. Trust me."

"If you say so."

"I do. Maybe you can come over for dinner next week?"

"I will think about it… I am a little uncomfortable…" She sighed and Shuichi could almost imagine her worried fidgeting.

"I know… Maybe in time?"

"If he is good to you I will work hard to be good to him."

"Yay." He smiled, "I'll talk to you later."

"Take care, Shu."

"I will. You too. Love you!" He closed the phone and turned his smile toward Eiri.

"Your mother is far more patient than mine."

"Lucky! She still thinks I should try dating a girl though."

"If she is going to come over to have a meal with us, please do not cook for her." He clapped his hands together and bowed his head in prayer.

"Funny."

"We should keep alive the only family member who does not curse us every night."

"I will do my very best."

"And don't mention the uchikake to her… That would kill her by just putting the thought of it into her head "

"No fun!" He smiled broadly at Eiri before waving down the waitress to order dessert.

The night was peaceful, Shuichi working on his arrangement for the Tokyo After Dark piece, Eiri working on his new novel and emailing his editors and publisher.

"Let me hear…" He said after a long while and Shuichi shared the ear buds, watching Eiri's face as he listened, "Na, Shuichi… You do have a good voice."

"Do I?"

"You do." He plucked out the ear bud and looked over at Shuichi with a serious expression on his face, "Don't be worried tomorrow."

"I will be anyway, even if you tell me not to." He shrugged.

"I have to try." Eiri reached out and stroked his cheek, "I will be angry tomorrow. Try to ignore it as much as possible. I will not be angry with you."

"I know, and I will do my best..."

"It will be over before you know it."

"I totally doubt that."

"You're not making the business of reassuring you very easy, you know."

"I give you many points for trying though!" He gave Eiri a thumbs up, "Ganbatte!"

"Baka, ne…"

"Crazy enough to love you, at least!"

"Go text Hiroshi that we will collect him at 7am."

"Too early! Augh."

"It wouldn't kill you to go to bed a little early."

"Phhhttt…How do you know for sure?"

"I'm willing to risk it… I'm going to bed now." He closed his laptop, putting it on the coffee table before standing up and stretching, "You can join me if you like…" He winked and wandered away down the hallway.

"Hmmm… You win!" He laughed and hurried to send a text to Hiro before racing down the hallway after Eiri.