Hi all! I know I said this chapter would be the dramatic one...but it's not. Next chapter, I swear. And I know this is mostly dialogue, but I hope you get some laughs out of it anyways.

Disclaimer: I don't own CoD.

"No, Simon."

"And whyever not?"

"Because I said so."

"It'll be fun!"

"No, Simon."

"It'll be a nice change."

"No, Simon."

"Oh, for Manwë's sake!"

"Absolutely not."

Simon groaned and flopped down onto the couch. "C'mon. Really? It's break, it's four in the afternoon. It'll be fine! Great! You'll love them!"

"I refuse to have a Lord of the Rings marathon. They're okay once every six months, one at a time, but I will not watch all three back to back, at once. Because you know why?" Aubrey hopped on the couch and pointed her index finger at Simon's nose, about an inch away from his face. "You're going to start being a little fanboy and talking in elvish and giving me all this random trivia that I don't need to know, and I'll get so fed up with it that I'll throw the remote at the tv, and I love my tv."

Simon gnawed his cheek slightly. "If I promise to keep fanboying to a minimum, and try not to annoy you, can we watch them?"

Aubrey hesitated for a second, giving Simon just the leverage he needed to wear her down. "Pleeeeease? It's been two whole weeks since I watched them. Please?" He flopped over on his side, bringing his head down on her leg and turning his big green puppy eyes to hers in such a way as to tug at her heart strings. Almost...there...he batted his eyelashes a few times, and that was it. Hook, line, and sinker.

"Fine, fine!" Aubrey exclaimed exasperatedly, throwing her arms in the air as Simon whooped and dove off the couch for the DVDs, racing to put them in the player. "Curse you, and your irresistible puppy eyes."

"You know that's right," Simon answered, clicking the play button and falling back onto the couch.

"Did you just make a Psych reference?"

"Of course I did." Simon smirked and settled backward, nestling down into the cushions.

"You're such a geek."

"Wear it loud, wear it proud."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie."

Aubrey smacked Simon with a couch cushion. Then, while he was still spluttering from the shock, she encircled his head with her arm and proceeded to rub his head with her knuckles, giving him a noogie within an inch of his life.

In the few weeks since Aubrey and Simon had met, they had become fast friends. Even Aubrey, underneath her calloused exterior, had to admit to herself that it was nice to have someone she liked to spend time with (though she would never say it out loud). They ate lunch together, texted during class, fought, hit, laughed, and had a generally good time together. Turns out, Simon was not, in reality, a freshmen, as she had first thought, but was a sophomore like her, though he was in a few higher level classes. They were in the same English, PE, and they had the same lunch hour, though, so they happily convened during those times. What was forged then was a remarkable friendship, which had led to this, the Movie Night of Nights. Mal would be working late, Simon's mother had said it was fine, they had a ton of food, they were situated comfortably in the living room, and it was great.

Aubrey released Simon and he stopped flailing just as the opening credits graced the scene, and Simon began humming along to the notes in rapt attention.

"Simon..." Aubrey began in a warning tone, and he immediately shut up.

Aubrey sighed and settled back, picking up a few Skittles and tossing them back. She was ready to relax.

OoOoO

"Holy shit!" Aubrey screeched, scrabbling back as far as the couch cushions would allow her and launching a pillow at the tv. "What the hell was that?!"

Simon had collapsed laughing, his glasses falling off his nose as he doubled over. Tears of mirth leaked out of his eyes as he pointed a helpless finger at her. "Your...your face! Ha ha ha! That was ha ha ha priceless!" He laughed so hard he flopped onto the floor, body shaking.

Aubrey glared at Simon while, somehow, watching the screen (quite fearfully, actually, though she would never have admitted it). "What was that?" she repeated again, eyes scrutinizing the (now seemingly harmless) Uncle Bilbo, who was tearfully apologizing to Frodo after turning into a demon sent from hell. "Will it happen again?"

"No, you're good," Simon answered, picking himself off the floor and wiping away his tears. "Woo! That was great."

"Shut up, Simon."

OoOoO

Aubrey's eyebrows popped up in surprise. "Dang. What is that thing?"

"It's called a Nazgül," Simon answered, completely enthralled by the screen.

"Why did it stab Forbo?"

"Frodo," Simon amended her statement, "is carrying the Ring of Power, and the Nazgül's boss, Sauron, wants it back."

Aubrey seemed suitable impressed. "Damn. This Aracorn guy seems pretty hardcore."

"Well duh, ARAGORN is a Dunedain ranger! Of course he's hardcore." Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please, Aubrey. Please. Listen. You are making my stomach churn."

"Well sorrrry," she drawled. "It's not my fault the last time I watched this I was ten and half asleep."

Simon scoffed. "Please. The least you could do is at TRY to keep up with the story." He shook his head. "Woman."

"Who's this elf chick?"

"Aragorn's love interest and the daughter of Elrond, the ruler of Rivendell."

"What did she just do with the river?!"

"Watch the movie, Aubrey."

OoOoO

"I don't understand."

"Aubrey..."

"How is there snow? Just this random snow!"

"It's a mountain, Aubrey. A MOUNTAIN. It's a place of high elevation, meaning it's perfectly logical for it to be SNOWING."

"And now they're in a cave."

"The Mines of Moria."

"Oh look. The Pirates of the Caribbean."

"That is NOT a kraken."

"Hey look, it's

Jared."

"That's a trol-" Simon paused and gave a proud smile before holding out his hand for a fist bump. "Well done."

"Oh my. Aliens."

"Goblins," Simon amended her dangerously.

"Dude, what is that?!"

"A balrog," he answered, a low tone entering his voice.

...

"That's it. They can't go on without the old guy. They're all gonna die."

"Well that was unfeeling," Simon sniffed.

"It's true."

"Your heart is made of stone."

"Always."

OoOoO

"Ah, I liked that guy. It sucks he died."

"Yeah, he was pretty cool."

"And that little guy's screwed. And so are the other two."

Simon turned to peer at Aubrey. "You do realize the other two movies are about how they keep FROM getting screwed over?"

Aubrey shrugged and downed the last of her Coke. "Hey, the dead guy said it best."

"Huh?"

"One does not simply walk into Mordor."

Simon paused a minute before reaching his fist out for a fist bump. "That was well done."

"It was, wasn't it?"

"Mmm."

OoOoO

About halfway through the second movie, Aubrey stood up and dusted herself off. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back."

Simon nodded by way of reply as she walked out of the room. He took out his phone, only to see it was low on battery. Remembering that he had his charger in his backpack, he stood up and crossed to his backpack, kneeling down and rummaging through it to find it in his front pocket. After finding it, as he hummed 'Concerning Hobbits', he stood up and began unlooping it.

Unfortunately, that was the precise moment that Mal walked in.

Mal Fallon, dutiful police detective, had had a long and arduous day chasing criminals and dispatching bad guys. He was tired, cranky, and not in the mood to be crossed. So when he walked into his house to find some young "crook" rummaging through (what he assumed) was his sister's backpack, he did what any self-respecting cop would do.

He whipped out his gun and pointed it at poor Simon, who had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"Drop the charger," Mal barked, aiming his gun at Simon. "Get on your knees, hands on your head. Now."

"W-w-what?" Simon stammered out, dropping the charger like a hot coal and obeying slightly. "L-look, sir, I don't know-"

"Where's Aubrey? How did you get in?"

"She's in the b-bathroom," Simon managed to squeak out. "Please, I was just looking for my-"

"Shut up," Mal bit out. "What did you do to her? She'd never let a thief in."

"I'm not a thief," Simon interjected, "we were-"

"Did I say you could talk? Zip it." Mal frowned, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Stay there. Don't. Move."

Simon swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously as he did what he was told, murmuring some prayer to Manwë under his breath.

Thankfully, at this point in time, Aubrey came out of the bathroom. It was a funny sight she saw. Her brother, in the living room, was pointing a gun at the head of her only friend, who was shaking, on his knees.

"Mal!" she hollered, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I caught a thief in the house, he was rummaging through your backpack. You're welcome," Mal shot at her, tone biting. "I was just about to handcuff him and take him to the station. I thought he'd knocked you out or something."

"Please, by him? You insult me," Aubrey scoffed. She crossed to poor Simon and, gripping him by the arm, helped him up. "No, this is Simon, Mal. Simon, this is my brother." She paused, a horrified expression upon her face. "Oh my god, that sounded like an introduction before a date. Simon is my...acquaintance, from school, and we decided to have a movie night because we were bored and it is not a date," she finished decidedly.

Mal, still not thoroughly convinced, holstered his gun, allowing Simon to take a deep breath of relief. "Aubrey, much as I'm glad you're making friends, since when are you allowed to have boys over to watch movies in the dark?"

Aubrey shrugged. "Never said I couldn't. Besides, even if you said I couldn't, I'd do it anyways."

Mal sighed and rubbed his temples. He was done. Done, done, done. "You know what, I don't care. Just don't be loud, and no funny business. Got it?"

Aubrey saluted with two fingers and flopped onto the couch. "Got it."

Mal passed by Simon, pointedly not apologizing for scaring the boy. Simon, still cowering, quickly plugged in his phone before sitting on the couch.

Aubrey had one scary brother.

OoOoO

It was in the third movie, during the part where Arwen was dying and Elrond was pleasing with her to go to the West, that Aubrey and Simon found themselves somehow piled on top of each other. Aubrey had her legs in his lap, her arm haphazardly thrown on the couch behind his neck, and Simon had his foot on her stomach and was playing with her feet absentmindedly. Also, that was the time that Mal decided to exit his room. He, rubbing his eyes, walked out, caught a glimpse of the two friends, and sighed irritably.

"I said no funny business, Aubrey."

Aubrey glanced up at him. "What funny business?" she questioned, unhooking her foot from his lap and putting them on the floor. "It's just legs, Mal."

"And what does legs lead to?"

Aubrey fake gasped. "Oh my god, Mal, we're gonna have sex during the battle scene. You're right. I'm gonna go to a convent now. Forgive me father, for I have sinned!"

"Shut up, Aubrey, people are sleeping. Jesus." Mal sighed and crossed to the kitchen, taking a beer out of the fridge and opening it. "I mean it, Aubrey. Paws off."

"Why, Mal? Come one, we're just spooning." And with that, Aubrey hooked an arm over Simon and flopped onto her side, bringing him down with her with a squawk. Their bodies pressed together on the thin couch, it made Mal practically cringe.

"That is not needed."

"What's not?" Aubrey asked innocently, her fingers entwining themselves in Simon's hair.

Mal exhaled heavily, took a swig of beer, and fled to his room. As soon as the door slammed, Aubrey released Simon and sat up. "Sorry about that. Gotta irritate him when I can."

"It's cool, it's cool," Simon told her awkwardly. They started the video once more, and sat in heavy silence before Simon queried, "About that spooning-"

"Absolutely not."

"Okay."

OoOoO

"Not bad," was Aubrey's verdict when all three movies were over and done with. "Not bad."

"Not bad?!" Simon practically shrieked. "Are you kidding?! They're masterpieces!"

"Dowwwn, Bessie," Aubrey ordered, waving at him nonchalantly.

"Dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your cow-"

"You're a cow."

"Your mom's a cow."

"Well done."

"I try."

Aubrey sighed and tipped the rest of her water down her throat. "Well, we have time for at least one movie of my choice. Aaand I pick... Paranormal Activity. Bam."

"Nooo," Simon pled, "I don't do too well with scary movies, please, Aubrey?"

"Tough. You picked the last three. I get at least one."

"Nooo," Simon moaned, digging his face into the couch.

"Suck it."

"You suck it."

"Suck IIiiIIIiit," they chorused at the same time.

"Oh my god, I cannot believe I just did that," Aubrey stated.

"I have trained you well, my young padawan. Soon you shall come to the dark side."

Aubrey cut her eyes at him. "Put the movie in."

"Fine, fine, fine," Simon groaned, stumbling over melodramatically towards the player. "I think you should know I will hate you forever more after this."

"Fair enough," Aubrey answered cheerfully. "I'm cool with that."

OoOoO

"That...was slightly creepy," Aubrey observed carefully as the final credits rolled.

There was no answer.

"Simon?" She glanced over at the opposite end of the couch, where Simon was huddled under a blanket, murmuring something over and over again under his breath. "Simon?"

"And power, and glory, forever, amen," he finished, sighing and opening his eyes. "That was probably one of the freakiest movies I've watched. Lets do this again never."

"Good idea. Let's watch G. I. Joe. Get some mindless action."

"Sounds good."

"But first..." Aubrey held the empty popcorn bucket out. "Please?"

"Does it involve going into the dark kitchen?"

"Yes..."

"Then no. I will not be caught by a kitchen demon."

"There is no such thing as a kitchen demon, don't be silly. ...a couch demon, on the other hand..."

"I'm going, I'm going," Simon yelped, snatching the bucket and making a beeline for the kitchen. "Get in, get popcorn, get out."

Aubrey popped the movie in, sighed, and settled back into the cushions of the couch, lack of sleep finally starting to affect her. She began to drift off slowly, her eyes dropping, when she suddenly felt something cold grab her ankle and pull. She screamed, flailed, and, snatching up the nearest weapon, smashed the remote on her attacker's head. The 'demon' stood up, and, holding its head, began to laugh and groan in pain at the same time.

"Mal?!" Aubrey exclaimed, fury replacing the terror that had just seconds ago been infiltrating her very veins. "You idiot!" She raged, snatching up a pillow and smacking him. "How dare you?!"

"Your face!" Mal cackled, "that was priceless!"

Aubrey glowered as Simon made his way back into the room, holding the bag of popcorn and a steak knife at the ready. "Aubrey?" He asked uncertainly, "You okay?"

"Fine," she snapped, hitting her brother once more, "I'm fine. Go ahead and put the knife back."

"Pssh, bitch please," Simon exploded, "this knife is staying right by me."

Aubrey shrugged. "Fair enough." She pointed back towards Mal's room. "Leave. And don't come out again. Ever."

Mal obeyed, still chuckling, and the two settled back to watch the movie. Aubrey chose not to comment on the fact that Simon held the knife at the ready in his hands.

OoOoO

At 6 o clock the next morning, Mal couldn't help the slight, fond smile that overtook his lips as he surveyed the living room. Aubrey and Simon were sprawled over one another as they slept soundly. Her leg was hooked up over the couch, the other on his chest, and her arms were flung over her head. He has one foot on her stomach and the other foot set on the floor, his arms curled in protectively. They snored quietly in unison, completely out after their long night. As Mal crossed the living room floor, littered with wrappers and bits of popcorn, he stooped to pick up the discarded steak knife.

"Kids," he murmured amusedly, and couldn't resist himself from ruffling Aubrey's hair fondly.

Sometimes, when she wasn't irritating his brains out...it wasn't too hard being an older brother.

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