Sorry about the long update, school kept me crazy busy and I have been slowly writing this chapter over the past few weeks. Glad that I can finally post this! Enjoy everyone (:
The next morning, I woke up feeling extremely groggy. I didn't have a great sleep at all that night.
At camp, I usually slept great. Many people at camp were not huge fans of the squishy, old mattresses and bunk beds that were probably older than their parents but I didn't mind them one bit. I slept like a baby unless I was upset about something. I was upset about the Campbell thing mainly because I wasn't sure what was upsetting him. One minute he was fine and the next minute it looked like he was about to rip someone's head off. I had laid in bed last night tossing and turning, trying to think about what had set him off this time. I suppose that he and Mark aren't friends anymore. They had been inseparable since they were out of diapers so Mark must have done something to really hurt Campbell. Maybe it had nothing to do with Mark and had everything to do with me. I didn't know.
The last time I had this much trouble sleeping at camp was when I first found out about Katie's eating disorder. It was two summers ago, and I remembered the way it happened clearly. I had heard Katie throwing up at our house during that school year once or twice, but she had told me that it was the flu. Being a young and naive twelve year old, I had believed her, even though she seemed to feel fine ten minutes after being sick. What I saw that summer though confirmed my worst fears.
"I'm just going to the washroom, I'll be right back!" I told my friends. I looked at Campbell and smiled at him before rushing off. I felt bad leaving him since he was left with Taylor, Mark, Noelle and Scott. The six of us hung out a lot together. Taylor and Mark had a thing while Noelle and Scott enjoyed hanging out although they weren't romantically involved. However, the two of them had so much in common and conversation came so easily for them so people wondered how long it would be until their friendship developed into more. Campbell and I were on the fence. I really liked him but I wasn't sure how he felt about me. It was complicated. I rushed off though, not wanting to leave Campbell as a fifth wheel for too long.
I quickly went into the washroom. I went into the first stall and locked the door. Before I had a chance to make any other movement, the bathroom door swung open. I stood still in place, looking through the crease in the stall door to see who it was. It was my sister, Katie. She looked stressed and out of breath. I stood in place in silence as Katie looked around for a moment before she glanced at herself uncertainly in the mirror. Katie took a deep breath and locked the door of the washroom, preventing anyone else from entering.
Immediately, I realized that my sister thought she was alone in here. She didn't know that I was in here, curious as to what was about to happen. Katie turned back towards the mirror. She smiled at herself confidently and tied up her long, brown hair before she walked into a stall and locked the door. Part of me wanted to open the door and run back outside but my feet were frozen in place. I kind of knew what was going to happen but I didn't want to accept the truth. I knew it was too late to leave and the last thing I wanted to do was run out in the middle of all this. My body wouldn't allow me to.
For what felt like minutes, I stood in silence locked in the stall, checking to make sure my breathing was quiet as possible. I felt my body shake as I listened to my sister force herself to throw up. In reality, she was only there for about a minute or two before she flushed, washed her hands and walked out of the bathroom like nothing out of the ordinary had happened but for me, it had felt like hours.
About a minute later, I unlocked the stall and walked out of the bathroom. Part of me wanted to curl up into a ball and cry but I wasn't sure where I could go. I couldn't talk to Taylor and Noelle about this since I knew they would tell the guys and I didn't need all of camp knowing about this. I wasn't even ready to know about this. I wondered if anyone else knew, if anyone here was trying to stop her. I wondered if Drew knew. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying as I numbly exited the lodge.
"There you are!" Campbell exclaimed, coming up behind me right as I stepped outside. "Fifth wheeling gets boring after like, 30 seconds," he added, turning to face me. He immediately noticed that I wasn't laughing and his face softened. "Are you feeling okay?" He asked, looking into my eyes as he spoke.
I continued to bite my lip and nod but it was too late. Tears were already rushing down my cheeks before I could control them. I silently punched myself for crying in front of Campbell of all people. I hated looking like a weak little baby.
There was no fooling Campbell. Right as he noticed me crying, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder in comfort and led me around the side of the lodge. Not many campers came around here and it was out of the view of the field, where everyone was playing right now. I sat down next to him and rested my head against his shoulder, continuing to let my tears fall as he stroked my back. A few intermediate campers ran around the corner, in the middle of a game of manhunt most likely but once they saw us, they quickly turned away. Campbell didn't say anything or ask me anything and it seemed like we were sitting in silence for hours. Finally, I spoke.
"Cam, if I tell you something," I sniffled. "Will you promise not to tell anyone?" I asked, lifting up my head to look at Cam while I spoke. "Not even Mark?"
"Of course, M," he replied, pausing a moment before answering. "What's going on?" He asked, concern in his voice.
"It's Katie," I mumbled. "I was in the bathroom and I heard her throwing up," I continued. "I think she's bulimic."
Campbell looked at me closely, hesitating again before replying.
"Maybe she was just sick," Cam suggested.
I quickly shook my head, wishing that it were that simple. If anything, I wished that I could forget this whole situation and move on like nothing had happened. I was scared though, scared for Katie's health. I had noticed her getting thinner and I only knew that these things just got worse.
"I've heard her throwing up before, Cam," I murmured. "I heard her throwing up a few times over the school year," I explained, wiping the tears away from my eyes. "Katie claimed that she was sick, even though she appeared to be completely fine afterwards," I told him. "I had a feeling something was wrong, I just didn't want to believe it."
Cam sat there in silence with me, probably not knowing what to say. I felt a bit relieved now that I had told someone but I was still really upset. I knew that Campbell wouldn't tell anyone but I was still scared of this information getting out somehow. I didn't know how long we were sitting there for but as I rested my head on Cam's shoulder, deep down I knew that everything would work out someday.
I tried to shake thoughts of Katie out of my mind as I dragged my ass out of bed. It was 7:10 and I knew that in 20 minutes, I had to bring Casey down to wellness to get her medication for the day. I knew I didn't have a lot of time to get ready so I rushed down to the staff house to brush my teeth, wash my face and throw a bit of concealer on to cover up a group of angry, red pimples that had appeared on my forehead overnight. I knew I would have to do the rest of my makeup later, knowing that I needed to get Casey to wellness as soon as possible.
As I walked back to the cabin to get Casey, I saw two figures walking down the pathway towards the staff house. It was hard to make out the bodies due to the heavy morning fog, but one was slightly bigger than the other. I we got closer to each other, I recognized Campbell walking down the path with one of his campers. I tried to make eye contact while Cam made a point of avoiding my gaze.
"Morning, Cam," I said with a smile as the distance between us became smaller. I looked up at Cam as he approached us. He had huge bags under his eyes and it looked like he had an even worse sleep than I did. His hair was dishevelled and his skin was ghastly pale. Campbell didn't look well at all. Despite his ashen face, he still managed to look extremely attractive in his plaid pyjama pants and red zip up hoodie.
"Hey," Cam replied, no emotion in his voice. His camper looked up at me for a moment and smiled at me, but Campbell passed by me without another word or glance back.
Pushing thoughts of Campbell out of my head, I rushed back up to Cabin 4 to retrieve Casey. Thankfully, Casey was already awake when I had left earlier and was too young to care what she looked like right after rolling out of bed. Junior and intermediate campers were easy to wake up for the most part. Except for a few intermediates, the younger campers didn't worry about makeup or how they looked at camp. The seniors were a different story.
When I entered the cabin, Jenna and Anya had already left. Zoe had since woken up and was sitting on her bed applying makeup, using a small compact mirror. It was possible to do your makeup in your cabin but the lack of light and a proper mirror made it a rather difficult process and I had soon learned that going down to the staff house washrooms was much easier.
"Morning, Zoe," I greeted. As much as I didn't like the girl I knew that I had to live with her for the summer so being on good terms with her seemed to be the easiest option right now. Looking up from her mirror for a second, she shot me a genuine smile before returning to applying her mascara.
"Ready to go, Casey?" I asked, walking over to the other side of the cabin. I saw that she had gotten dressed and was wearing a frilly, pink tank top as well as a pair of jean shorts. "You might want to grab a sweater for now," I told her. "It's a bit chilly outside."
Because camp was in the middle of nowhere, the mornings and evenings were a bit colder than they were back in the city. It was still quite warm during the days up at camp but I always made sure to bring a sweater or two with me so I could stay warm. Casey quickly grabbed a purple zip up sweater from her suitcase and we headed outside and down to the staff house.
"What are you most excited for today, Casey?" I asked, trying to make conversation with her. I knew that once I got to know the girls better it would be a lot easier to talk to them but camp questions were always a good go to for conversation starters during the first few days. I remembered my counselors asking me stuff along those lines back when I was Casey's age.
"Jake said we were going canoeing today!" Casey exclaimed. "Are you excited? I LOVE canoeing! Do you love canoeing?" Casey added. "Maybe Riley and Zane will let us go swimming after we canoe! Wouldn't that be fun? I love swimming in the lake!"
I smiled to myself as Casey rambled on and on. She was a sweet girl and very easy to talk to because of the many questions she would ask while we were having a conversation. Her meds would help calm her down a bit during the day according to what Holly J had told us and thankfully, she didn't have any behavioural issues; she was just very excitable.
"I'm definitely excited to go swimming in the lake," I replied. At camp after canoeing, they usually let the groups swim in the lake for awhile. Normal swimming happened in the pool so being able to swim in the lake was a real treat. It usually only happened after big, group games. "Maybe if we ask Riley and Zane very nicely they'll let us."
"Yeah that'd be so cool!" Casey squealed. "I love Riley, he's so cute. I definitely have a crush on him!" She grinned. "I'm going to give him a ring pop today and see if he'll marry me!"
I giggled to myself as Casey and I reached the staff house. Casey was obviously too young to understand, but Zane and Riley, the two waterfront lifeguards, were actually dating. None of the campers knew about any of the staff relationships, except for a few very trustworthy senior campers who earned their counselor's trust over time and learned to know some of the gossip going on at camp. Campers sometimes figured out the couples on their own though since some were very obvious and made no real attempt to hide the fact that they were together, such as Drew and Katie a couple of summers ago.
As Casey and I walked into the wellness room, Damian, the wellness guy was inside as well as Campbell and his camper that I had seen him with before. The camper once again waved at me but Campbell avoided eye contact at all costs. Casey quickly took her pill and told me she would be back up at the cabin after she had gone to the bathroom. I headed outside, Campbell and his camper following closely behind me.
"I'll see you back up at the cabin, buddy," Cam told his camper as the young boy raced ahead and up the trail that led to the cabins. I could almost feel the lack of energy in Campbell's voice as he spoke and I turned around to face him, he looked drained in every possible way. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
"Not now, Maya," Campbell growled as he almost shoved his way past me before I even had a chance to open my mouth and speak. I saw that he was heading down the road and away from the cabins.
"Cam, can we talk?" I asked, trying not to sound too hurt by his words. I swallowed nervously as Cam continued to glare at me. As he tried to look angry, all I could see was the hidden sadness in his eyes.
"I'm going for a walk," Campbell grumbled, rushing away from me. "I need some air." As Cam spoke, his breathing was becoming more uneven and he was almost panting like a dog. That was when I really started to worry for him. I felt a lump developing in my throat and I could feel my eyes filling with tears.
"Campbell, stop!" I shouted, trying not to sound loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Surprisingly, Cam froze in place and began to tremble. In an attempt to give him some space, I didn't step any closer towards him. "Are you okay?" I asked, speaking from where I was already standing. I tried to keep my voice from cracking as I spoke.
Neither of us moved for a few moments. I was tempted to move closer to Campbell to see if he actually was okay but I thought better of it. I even felt bad asking him if he was okay since that was a question that I didn't even know how to answer myself sometimes so I always felt guilty asking others the same thing.
"I need you to leave me alone, Maya!" Campbell snapped, finally turning around to face me. "I want space and what I need is for you to stop constantly bothering me here," he shouted. "We are NOT friends," he screamed. As Cam spoke, I could feel tears running down my face. I was too upset to even try controlling them. "We never were friends," he yelled. "You mean nothing to me and we are nothing. We never were. The sooner you realize that, the better. And-"
"I think that's enough, man," a familiar voice echoed behind me. I spun around to see Miles standing about ten feet behind me, Zoe by his side, her brows knit in shock at Campbell's outburst.
Campbell immediately softened his gaze when he saw how upset I was. He put his hands on his forehead and sighed, taking a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.
"Oh my god, Maya," Campbell exclaimed, rushing over towards me. "I'm so sorry, oh my god." Just as he approached, Cam stopped dead in his tracks. I turned around to see Miles holding his hand out, motioning for Cam to stop.
"I think she needs some space right now," Miles grumbled, clearly not impressed. "Leave her alone."
Cam stood still for a moment, a blank, unreadable look on his face, as if he was confused about what had just happened. A moment later, Campbell spun around and took off down the road without another word. Still stunned at what had happened, I was frozen in place and no matter how badly I wanted to move right now, my feet were not letting me. I continued to sniffle and tried to wipe the tears off my face. I silently thanked myself for being lazy and not applying mascara yet or else I would look like a raccoon right now.
"Zoe, you want to go after him please?" Miles asked. "Make sure he gets back to camp okay?"
"Can't you go, Miles?" Zoe grumbled. "He's such a hothead and I really don't feel like getting my head chopped off like Maya just did, thank you very much."
"Please, Zoe?" Miles asked again, wrapping his arm around my shoulder in comfort. "I think he's calmed down a bit, just make sure he comes back, please?"
Realizing that her only option was to stay behind and make sure I was okay or to go after Campbell, Zoe chose the latter, knowing that the last thing both of us wanted was for her to comfort me. Not that I was a huge fan of either of them, I was beyond thankful that Miles had stepped in to help me out back there. I definitely wasn't on board to open up to Zoe, but Miles was my group co and I felt like I could trust him to some extent. I knew that I had just met Miles and I couldn't judge him solely on his actions before, but today he had really helped me and I could see us becoming friends.
"Come on Matlin, let's walk and talk," Miles said, leading me away from the main area.
"I just don't know what's into him lately," I told Miles after briefly explaining Campbell and I's background. "He's just been so...off this year and I don't know why. He was never like this before, ever," I added. "It's just a really confusing situation."
After Zoe had taken off after Campbell, Miles had taken me down to Mary's Point so we could talk without anyone interrupting us or walking by. The morning staff meeting was closing up and all the staff members and counsellors were beginning to wake up their campers or begin their daily duties so Miles made sure we were in a location where no one would walk by and ask us what had happened. The whole situation was confusing for me but I didn't want any of the staff to know since the last thing I wanted was to tattle on Campbell. Thankfully, no one else had seen or heard his little outburst, or from what we knew at least. I had calmed down now and I wasn't crying anymore, I was more or less just trying to make sense of the situation.
Miles listened intently as I told him about Campbell and I's friendship two summers ago. I told him about how he was always there for me and how I felt like I could tell him anything. How he wasn't the guy Miles had just seen yell at me back there. I told Miles that all the things Cam had said about us not being friends weren't true. I had no real evidence, but I did know that Campbell Saunders gave a shit about me at some point, whether he did now or not was questionable but I know he did two summers ago. I could feel it in my heart.
"So you guys weren't, romantic or anything?" Miles asked.
"Never," I replied, without hesitation. "My friends all thought we were together secretly but we never were. I was always too scared to make a move and now I think he might have been too scared as well," I explained. "It's just really complicated."
"No kidding," Miles chucked. "What about last summer?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, confused at what Miles was asking me.
"You always talk about two summers ago," Miles explained. "What about last summer? Were you guys friends then or anything or did you even talk at all?"
"Oh!" I exclaimed, realizing immediately that I had forgotten to mention the fact that Cam was not at camp last year. "He wasn't here last year," I told Miles. "I saw him show up here this year and I was really surprised. I didn't see that coming at all."
"Well, didn't you guys stay in touch and stuff?" Miles asked.
That was a question I got a lot about Campbell. We didn't stay in touch. At the time, I didn't have a cell phone so I couldn't text him. We had each other on Facebook but we had never chatted on there. Right after camp two summers ago, I had been waiting for Campbell to Facebook message me for a few days after camp. Those days quickly turned into weeks and months and I was too shy to start up a conversation with him myself because I was getting the impression he didn't want to talk to me because he had never messaged me. Last summer, my Facebook account was deactivated so I had no way to get into contact with him even if I had wanted to. I had soon accepted the fact that Campbell Saunders was no longer going to be in my life and I was okay with that. It was just weird having him back now. I wasn't prepared for it at all.
"We didn't, Miles. Basically, we were young and I was awkward...well, I'm still awkward, but it just didn't happen," I explained. "I thought he was going to message me but he never did. I had let go of him a year ago and I was not expecting him to show up here this year. That kind of threw me for a loop."
"And let me guess," Miles said with a smirk. "There's still some feelings deep down in your heart for hockey superstar?"
I nervously looked down at the ground. Maybe there were some feelings there still, as much as I tried to deny it. However, I was not about to admit that to Miles. I kind of trusted him a bit now but not nearly enough to risk telling him who I liked.
"No, not really, no," I replied, not making eye contact with Miles.
"You're a horrible liar," Miles chuckled, shaking his head.
"Huh?" I mumbled, trying to still avoid the topic. I continued to look at the ground in hopes that Miles would not notice how awkward I was being.
"I won't tell anyone Maya," Miles said looking at me with a smile. "Your secret's safe with me."
After my talk with Miles and after I had calmed down a bit more, I returned to the cabin to get ready for the day. The counselor meeting was done and we had about 15 minutes to get campers up and ready for breakfast at 8:30. When I walked into the cabin, most of the girls were down at the staff house brushing their teeth but Jenna and Anya were there waiting for me.
"Morning, Maya," Anya greeted. "Did you get Casey down to wellness this morning?" She asked politely.
"Yeah, I did," I replied, trying to sounds as enthusiastic as possible despite all of the drama that had happened this morning. "How was your meeting?"
"Good but I'm so tired," Jenna replied. "I'm not used to being up this early at camp, I'm totally not a fan," she grumbled.
"You'll get used to it," Anya said cheerfully. "Have you seen Zoe?" Anya asked, turning back to me.
Before I had a chance to reply, the door to the cabin swung open and Zoe stormed in, looking less than pleased.
"That boy needs help," she scoffed. "You said you were friends with him, Maya?"
Jenna and Anya quickly exchanged a confused glance, wondering what was going on. They took a quick look around to make sure there were no campers in the cabin before continuing with the conversation.
"Who are you talking about, Zoe?" Jenna asked.
"Campbell, my group co," Zoe answered, rolling her eyes. "He flipped at Maya this morning for no reason and lucky me got to bring him back to camp after he took off down the road."
"Is he okay?" I asked before Jenna or Anya could say anything. As annoyed as I was with him right now, I still cared and wanted to know if he was okay of not.
"Ugh, I guess," Zoe said with a shrug. "I knew Miles would kill me if I didn't bring him back so I waited with him while he freaked out at me and finally after smoking 3 cigarettes he was able to come back."
"He smokes?" I asked in awe. Back when I knew Cam, I never would have pictured him as the type to smoke. He was an athlete, into hockey so he must know how bad tobacco was for his health. I didn't know what had turned him into a smoker but this was just another wake up call, showing me that I really didn't know Cam anymore. Maybe I never really did.
Just as Anya opened her mouth to say something, the cabin door opened and Sophie, Chloe, Ally and Laura quickly entered the cabin, rushing over to their bunks to put their toiletries away. Immediately, we ended our conversation and began to focus on the campers.
"What time is breakfast at?" Chloe asked as she pulled her long, blonde hair into a ponytail. I noticed that the older girls had spent some extra time applying a little bit of mascara and eyeshadow that morning. I definitely had the girly girls in my group but I was okay with that, as long as they behaved and didn't create problems, things would work out just fine.
"Ten minutes or so," Jenna replied. "If you girls are ready, you can start heading down to the dining hall! Maya and I will be down shortly," she added.
"Cool!" Chloe replied as her and her friends quickly headed out of the cabin. As the girls ran out of the cabin, Anya turned towards all of us for a second.
"We can talk more about this later, but are you girls okay?" She asked, turning towards Zoe and I.
"I'll be okay," I replied. "I'm a bit shaken up but I'll survive," I added confidently. Now was not the time to dwell on the past though, I had today and my campers to focus on. "I'm going to make my way down to the lodge for breakfast but I'll catch up with you guys later," I said with a smile as I headed out. Everyone seemed to sense that I wanted to be alone so no one followed me thankfully.
I made sure to walk down the path slowly enough to not catch up with my campers who had left moments before me. Thankfully, none of them had looked back to see if anyone was behind them. Right as I reached the field, I saw Emma quickly run up to me.
"Hey Maya!" She greeted. "How's your morning going?"
I almost laughed in her face right there. "Hi Emma, the guy I kind of like just had a massive temper tantrum and screamed at me for no reason. He's gone kind of crazy and I just learned that he smokes cigarettes. Yeah, my day is going great how about you?"
"It's good, how about yours?" I replied, pushing thoughts of Campbell to the back of my mind.
"Good! I actually have some pretty good news as well," she grinned. "We discussed it this morning and we found a solution to canoeing later today!"
I gulped. Right. Canoeing. I had completely forgotten about that. It had completely slipped my mind following the events of this morning.
"Manny and I discussed it and we figured that switching you and Zoe for group activity today would work out perfectly! You won't know the guy campers but the girls in the group will be the girls from your cabin," Emma explained. "You're also friends with Campbell so that's a bonus! Does this work Maya?"
"This is perfect," I said with grin, although I was screaming on the inside. On my list of people I wanted to be around right now, Campbell Saunders was sitting dead last.
There's now some tension between Maya and Campbell so that will create some drama! More secrets will be revealed soon! Chapters should come quicker now that I'm done school. I'm gone for most of May but I'm hoping to post a chapter before I leave!
Thanks for reading, reviews are more than welcome :)
~Lauren