New Age

Chapter Ten Rewrite: Meetings

Varric stomach grumbled loudly and he sighed setting aside his book. Everything seemed to be late; his partners, his meal, and of course Hawke. He got up and headed to the Hanged Man kitchen. A single swinging door separated the small kitchen from the rest of the Tavern. Varric pushed it open to find the kitchen empty of it's usually resident, Eiger the cook.

"Eiger! Eiger, where's that meal I asked for?" Varric called, as a strange smell assaulted his nose. "Why does it smell like burnt meat?"

He moved through the kitchen looking for the source of the smell. There was no smoke lingering in the air. The smell got stronger as he reached the rear entrance. Varric peered outside to find Hawke healing an injured Eiger. The cook was a large man, even sitting he was a head taller than Hawke. He held a hand to his forehead, blood seeped through his finger tips. But Varric could see that Hawke was already healing the wound.

"Hawke!" he said in surprise.

The dark hair boy glanced over his shoulder at him, and said, "Varric, sorry I'm late. Eiger was having some trouble with some thugs."

Varric noticed the smoldering piles of ashes scattered throughout the alley, and asked, "Trouble?"

"Hardly a problem, they didn't even put up a fight." Hawke replied as he stood up, dusting the ashes off his cloak.

Varric hummed in his throat, "Hawke, you need to learn the definition of a problem. But I'm glad you save our cook. I would starve without his meals."

At this remark, Eiger stood up, and towering over the two of them. He headed directly into the kitchen and Varric quickly stepped out of the way of the big man. Eiger took out a large wooden spoon and began to stir the stew on the fire.

"Looks like our meal will be salvaged and we'll get to eat." Varric said with a chuckle. "Come along, Hawke." Hawke walked into the kitchen and saw a pair of giant knives on the rack.

"Eiger, I suggest wearing those all the time," Hawke said pointing to the knives. "You're already big enough to be intimidating. But those will give people's pause before attacking you."

Eiger huffed, and Varric interrupted, "You don't have to use them. Just wear them. Appearance is a key tactic to protection. Look like a target and people will attack you. Look like you can tear a man apart, and people will avoid you. Think about it."

The giant cook didn't say anything but Varric didn't expect him to. Hawke followed him out of the kitchen and up to his room.

"Do you know why Eiger is being attacked by the Sharps Highwaymen?" Hawke asked as he flung himself into Varric's dwarf sized chairs. Hawke liked the wooden chair because his feet could touch the ground.

Varric sat at the head of his table, and replied, "Heard a few whispers about a debt. But I think the gang is trying to force Eiger into doing something. And the big guys refuse to fight back."

"Hmm," Hawke said and he began to think deeply. Varric knew that face; Hawke was going to throw himself into someone else problems again.

"So how are you, like being free of servitude?" Varric asked, hoping to distract the lad long enough for him to forget his plans.

"Boring, and pennyless. If this keeps up I might go back to Athenril to get some paying jobs for once." Hawke replied, trailing off.

"I hear a but in that sentence."

Hawke waved his hands animated, "I want to get out of Dark Town more. I need to set up a better base for the children away from the toxic fumes. So I need clean money. But I'm not sure how I'm going to do that."

Varric plastered his fingers together, "How about you start working as a messenger?"

"A messenger?"

"You already know all the back ways of Kirkwall, and have an internal map of the city. You could easily run deliveries all over Kirkwall," Varric said seeing Hawke thinking about it. "You could offer your services to those who don't want their messages known. It allows you access to information to the shadier side of Kirkwall and secret dealing."

Hawke smirked, "Which you would then have access to."

"I would never ask such a thing," Varric returned the smile. "Without payment that is."

"This is a very good idea, Varric." Hawke nodded. " I assume that you would be willing to help me get started?"

"It's a deal." Varric confirmed. "But before we get started on that I have another request for you."

Eiger chose that moment to delivery the meal Varric had asked for. He also brought a second platter which he placed in front of Hawke. Hawke gave it a questioning glance, but the large cook gestured at the food with an eager expression. Hawke tucked into the meal, and at the taste gave a moan of happiness. Hawke beamed at the cook, who nodded and left. Varric smirked at the exchange, seeing that this was how the cook was going to repaid Hawke's kindness.

"Sure, what do you need?" Hawke asked between mouthfuls.

"I hear you're acquainted with the Grey Warden set up in Dark Town."

"Anders? Yah, He's teaching me to heal. So I help him in the Clinic when I am free." Hawke said as he raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming your asking because you need help getting in the Deep Roads?"

"Indeed. Bartrand can lead us to the right place once we're down there. But we need a good entrance." Varric explained pacing in front of the fireplace.

"One that isn't filled with Darkspawn,"

"And close to our destination," Varric continued. "I heard Grey Warden's have maps marking the ways into the Deep Roads. I was hoping . . . "

"I'll introduce you to Anders. But you're going have to convince him to give you the maps. Anders hates the Deep Roads." Hawke replied, waving his hand.

"Can't fault him for that." Varric gave a small smile. "Can I bring my partners along? They should be here any moment now, and this concerns them as much as it does me."

"Your partners?" Hawke looked confused for a moment, then his eyes went wide. "The Twins? They're coming here?" Hawke jumped up like he was hit with a spirit bolt, knocking over his chair.

Varric gave Hawke a confused look. He had never seen the boy seem surprised or even afraid. He took being shot at with batting an eyelash, and killed men without an expression. But here Hawke seemed to be on the edge of panicking.

Hawke picked up the chair, saying"I just remembered Anders needs me as soon as I was done here. I'll mark where the Clinic is on your map." Hawke stood up and went to the map of Kirkwall that Varric kept on his wall. He marked a section of Dark Town with a symbol, then he tugged his hands into his cloak sleeves. Varric recognized the sign as Hawke was readying himself to use magic.

"Hawke are you alright?" Varric asked, coming to stand beside him. Varric didn't know what to expect from a nervous Hawke. He had seen the lad calmly talk to the most ruthless cutthroats of Darktown.

Hawke eyes flicked back to him saying, "Fine, I'm fine. Just need to get going. I'll meet you in the Clinic later." He pulled up his hood to cover his face, shadowing his expression.

A pair of footsteps echoed in the hallway from the open door, then Carver and Bethany Amell appeared in the door way. Varric felt the air tingled, as Hawke suddenly vanished from his side, to appear in the door behind the Amell's. The Twin jumped at the sudden disappearance, searching for the figure. Varric brows' met, even more confused by Hawke's actions.

"Was he afraid of the Amell's?" Varric wondered.

"Who was that?" Carver asked, gesturing down the hall.

"That was one of my informants." Varric said vaguely. "Sorry about that. But he was in a bit of a rush."

"Is he a mage? I've never seen someone use that type of magic without a staff before. He must be exceptionally skilled." Bethany said with awe.

"That he is. And he brought some good news. So have a seat and I'll explain why I called you both here." Varric said gesturing to the chairs. Bethany decided to pull up one of the larger stools to sit on. While Carver chose a piece of wall near the door to lean against.

As Varric explained what they needed for the expedition his thought wandered. He had checked on the Amell's backgrounds before approaching them about the partnership. The Amell's were Fereldans that sought refuge in Kirkwall from the Blight. They had signed on with the Red Iron working in servitude as payment for their entrance into the city, much like Hawke. While they had gained some fame from their teamwork, Varric hadn't heard as many rumors about them. And the one's he did hear were never suspicious.

"At least the ones that didn't involve their uncle. So what about them made Hawke nearly jump out of his skin at the mere mention of them." Varric stared hard at the siblings.

Now that Varric takes a closer look at them he realizes why they looked so familiar to him when he first met them. They reminded him of Hawke. Until like many dwarves, Varric had learned how to tell the difference between humans. He had come to notice the various physical traits that humans seem to share.

So he began to count the similarities, "Black hair and pale skin, common not usual for human. All of them have blue eyes, though Carver and Bethany have a tint of brown around the iris, while Hawke has piercing blue eyes, almost a shade of grey. All have the same nose and ear shape." The more the Varric compared them, the more sure he was that Hawke was related to the Amell's.

Bethany broke his thoughts when she asked, "So what his name?"

"Who?" Varric blinked at her.

"You're informant, the mage."

"Why do you want to know?" Varric watched her reaction for lies.

Bethany shrugged, "I've never met another mage before. I wandering if I could get to know him."

"I'm not sure about that. He a very private person. You know how it is living as an apostate in a city of Templars'." Varric thought about his answer and said, "His name is Hawke."

That caught both of their attentions, and Carver leaned forwards asking, "Hawke? Is that his family name?"

Seeing no malice only curiosity Varric relaxed and said, "I'm not sure. It's the only name he goes by. It could be a nickname though." All of this being true as Varric didn't know a lot about the young mage despite extensive searching.

"Why do you ask? If you don't mind my curiosity."

"Our father's name is Malcolm Hawke," Carver replied seriously. The group made their way out of the Hanged Man but there was no sign of Hawke.

"But you call yourself Amell, why?"

Carver looked stormy and Bethany answered instead, "Our father left us ten years ago and never returned."

"Well that fits," Varric thought getting a better picture of events.

But before he could ask anything else Carver interrupted saying harshly, "Enough. Don't we have a Grey Warden to meet? Lets go, get this done with so we can head off to Sundermount." Bethany agreed and stood up. Varric had no choice but to drop the subject and follow them.

The Amell's and Varric walked into the Clinic to see Anders leaning over the form a young boy, casting a healing spell on him. His worried parent stood by the tables' side watching him. Anders focused hard to get the young boy to breathe. When the boy gasped and sat up, his mother smiled with relief. Anders shagged with the effort of the spell, and leaned against the wall to catch his breath. Hawke was there offering a cup of water which Anders took gratefully.

When Bethany and Carver approached, Anders turned on them with his staff raised, "I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?"

Hawke saw the blue light in Anders eyes and stepped between them, "Anders, it's fine. They're here with me."

"Hawke, what's this about?" Anders lowered the staff. Bethany and Carver shared a glance when they heard the name but Hawke had kept his hood up so they couldn't see his face.

"This is Bethany and Carver Amell. They would like to speak to you about the Deeproads." Hawke explained. "They know you're a Grey Warden."

"Was a Grey Warden, Hawke. I've left them remember."

"Your still helping people. So you are a Grey Warden. You just don't follow the Grey Warden's orders," Hawke replied with a shrug. Anders frowned at him, but it was an old argument, one that Hawke refused to back down from. "Anyway they're just here to talk to you. "

"We're interested in getting into the Deeproads. Do you know a way?" Varric asked.

Bethany spoke up, "Any information you can give us could save lives."

"We can make it worth your time." Carver offered.

Anders studied them silently, when Hawke nudged him, "They aren't with the wardens. So you can trust them, at least for not turning you into the Warden's or Templar's. At least talk to them. You can use their help."

Anders glanced down at Hawke studying him before nodding, "Very well. If Hawke say your trustworthy then I believe him. I could use some help for a task. So here's my proposal; A favor for a favor. Sound like a fair deal?"

"What kind of favor? We don't deal in blood magic or slavery." Carver said harshly. Varric watched Hawke walk away and sit at a table by the fireplace. He began mixing herbs in a bowl while Anders explain the favor he needed. Varric only listened with half a ear mind still turning over the issue of Hawke behavior. Hawke was never one to turn down the chance of helping another out. So why was he sitting this chance out.

"Doesn't fighting Templar's just prove their point? They don't need any more reason to hunt us." Carver remarked, crossing his arms.

"Oh, Templar's" Varric thought coming back to the conversation.

"These are my terms. If you want my aid with your expedition then meet me outside the chantry tonight." Anders stated firmly.

Carver and Bethany shared a expression of agreement. They agreed upon a time meet and went to leave. But Varric stayed behind lingering beside the entrance of the Clinic.

Anders went over to the young mage, "Hawke, I need to go to the Chantry right away to keep watch for Karl. Can you stay here and watch the clinic for me?"

"Sure, Anders, sure." Hawke replied half-heartedly.

Anders narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Hawke, I mean it. Stay here and don't follow me."

Varric chuckled, thinking, "Clearly he knows Hawke well."

Hawke looked up at the tone, "Anders, its fine. I won't follow you. I'm not keen on going to any place with Templars' in it. I'll close up at midnight."

Still unsure of Hawke answer Anders said, "Sunset. You need your rest. You can use the second cot in the back"

Hawke waved a dismissal, "Alright mother hen. Go save your friend."

Anders left Clinic with a glance back Hawke figure waving at him from the fire place. Then he turned and focused on the mission ahead missing Varric standing by the door. Varric glanced back inside, to see Hawke with that particular expression on his face. Hawke was deep in thought, making a decision. It was such a odd expression on a child because it made him look face older. Varric shut the clinic's door and approached the dark hair boy.

"Hawke, we need to talk." Varric said, making Hawke jolt out of his thoughts.

"Maker, Varric!" Hawke grabbed his chest huffing theatrically. "Are you trying to scare me to death?"

"Hawke . . . " Varric said in serious tone.

Hawke glanced up and saw Varric serious face. His face turned grim and he leaned back in his chair. Hawke gestured at the other chair, "You better sit if your going to integrate me."

Varric sat beside Hawke, angling the chair so he could watch Hawke. He spoke softly like he would to a skittish animal, "Hawke, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to. But I have to know. Is there something wrong with the Amell's? Did they do something to you?"

Hawke looked at him startled, "No, of course not. They're a great pair, and you couldn't have hope for better in this city at the moment. Why?"

Varric raised his eyebrow, "Because you disappeared as soon as you saw them."

"Yes that was a bit of an intense reaction, wasn't it." Hawke rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Hawke, why don't you want to meet the Amell's?"

Hawke glanced away, stiff in his chair, eyes searching for an answer. So Varric asked before Hawke could think up a lie, "Is it because you're related to them?"

The young mage looked at him in surprise before leaning back into his chair, "I guess anyone with a pair of eyes could see the similarities. I've always been told how much I look like my father."

"Do they know?"

"No!" Hawke said loudly, shaking his head.

"Why? Are you afraid of what their reaction might be? That they will reject you because you're a bastard child?"

Hawke stared at his feet as he said, "I'm just a stranger to them."

"Hawke, the Amell's aren't heartless. They'd be willing to bring them into their home."

"Then what?" Hawke looked up and met Varric gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"The Amell's can barely support themselves. I'd just be another burden, another belly to feed and another bed to make."

Varric shouldn't have been surprised by Hawke concerns, "They'd work around it."

"And what about the risk?" Hawke asked sharply. "I'm a Templar target, and I'd be exposed in Lowtown. And if I'm discovered I'd be a risk to Bethany as well."

"Caver and Bethany can protect you. They are becoming skilled fighters." Varric pointed out.

"The reason they are on this expedition is because they need money to keep the Templar's away. Why would I want to be a burden to them?" Hawke snapped.

Varric leaned back considering his arguments, "Because you are a child and you have a chance at a loving family. The other kids in the Pit don't get this chance."

"I'm not a normal child."

"No, you're not. And even if you were an adult, I'd still say the same thing. Not many people have an accepting family."

Hawke went silent and looked away, "It's better this way."

"How do you know if you've never tried," Varric remembered his own mother words about trying to have a better relation with Bartrand.

"I do know," Hawke said cryptically. There was a long silence between them, filled by the crackling of the fire. Varric studied Hawke and Hawke was lost in his own thoughts.

"Now tell me the real reason you are afraid of the Amell's meeting you."

Hawke flinched like he was shocked, and glanced at Varric.

"You can trust me, Hawke. I'm not going to do anything that might hurt you." Varric said gently.

"I know. I've known for a long time, Varric." Hawke rubbed the back of his neck and stared into the fire. "I'm terrified of having a family. Of sharing a bond with caring people only . . . "

"Only?"

"Only to have it tore away from me."

Varric blinked in surprise and Hawke continued, "I couldn't deal with it. That emptiness inside where the warmth used to be. To hear echoing memories and realize that all it going to be. No! I couldn't do it again." Hawke slammed his face in his hands.

"Oh, Hawke." Varric breathed. "This is a fear everyone has. The future isn't written in the stones. They won't die so easily."

"You don't know how long they will live." Hawke snapped, "What about this expedition? How do I know that they will return? That neither of them won' get killed by an ogre or die of the Blight?" There was such certainty in his voice, Varric wasn't sure Hawke hadn't seen such deaths before.

Hawke brought his knees to his chest, "And what about me."

"You?"

"I lead a dangerous life, Varric. I could just as easily be killed one day. Or just simply vanish." Hawke admitted.

"Now that's a thought that will haunt my nightmares," Varric thought, then said. "You could try having a childhood. You are entitled to one."

"Varric, I'm a mage. My days of innocence disappeared when I discovered my magic. After that it was studying how to control my magic and how to defend myself." Hawke explained with a soft voice. "No, I couldn't do that to the Amell's."

"So you will deny yourself the love of a family to protect them." Varric said sadly, but he knew it was a losing battle. Hawke had clearly thought long and hard about this issue. Suddenly Varric found Hawke's piercing gaze staring into his eyes.

"There are other types of kindness and caring in the world. Like the companionship of your friends. I couldn't live without that." Hawke said honestly.

Varric was stunned by his words, "Hawke, I . . . "

"I'd be lost without you, Aveline, Anders and the children." Hawke said, relaxing into the chair. "I once thought I could go it alone, but I was just spinning into a dark void of depression. It took a small hand to remind me that I don't have to be alone. I can face the darkness because I know that when I turn around there will be light."

"That was . . . poetic, Hawke." Varric breathed again.

Hawke gave him a small smile, "I may not be able to spin words like you do but I do have moments of inspiration."

"If you had some practice, I'm sure, you'll outshine me. I don't know what I would do with the competition," Varric joked, and Hawke's smile grew. There was a moment of silence but it was a good one, without any tension.

"Are you sure about this?" Varric had to ask.

"Yes," Hawke nodded. "If they ever ask, just tell them I use a nickname."

"But Hawke is really your name?"

"My name is Garret Hawke."

Varric was warmed by the trust Hawke had in him, and said, "Hmm, Rather a plain name, isn't it. Hawke has a better ring to it."

"I think so to." Hawke replied still smiling.

"I'd better get going. I agreed to meet Carver and Bethany at the Chantry." Varric stood up and strapped Bianca to his back.

"Go kill some Templars." Hawke waved, "And try not to let Anders scare you away."

"I know you, Hawke. You're the scariest thing around." Varric said and left the clinic.

The party return's to the Clinic after a disastrous attempt at trying to free the former grey Wardens' mage friend. All of them were exhausted after the long fight with the Templar's and the emotional low of having to kill the tranquil mage. Anders slammed open the doors and strode in.

Carver followed Anders with a deep scowl and said, "Is this the part where you tell us that you're an abomination?"

Anders turned to him, saying softly, "Your wrong. But not far wrong. I...this is hard to explain."

"Then just start at the beginning." Bethany prompted him. "How are you possessed but keep your soul?"

"I met a spirit of justice who was trapped outside the fade. Such spirits aren't like demons and are very rarely encountered. To live he needed a host. I offered to help him . . . " Anders began to explain. "But I guess I had too much anger. Once inside me, he changed . . . "

"Inside you? You're harboring a demon?" Carver snapped, placing himself between Anders and Bethany.

"Carver! Will you just listen. He just said a spirit of justice." Bethany said to her brother.

"Then what was that outburst? That didn't look benevolent spirit. He looked more like a monster," Carver words were harsh and Anders flinched.

"I changed him. In my anger against Templars, against injustice of mages, he changed. And he is no longer my friend Justice but a spirit of Vengeance. And he has no concept of mercy."

"Can you control it?" Bethany asked. "Bring him out at will?"

"No he only comes out when I have lost all control over myself." Anders ducked his head looking sad. "It's a madness. A frenzy. I only find afterward what I might have done."

"That it I heard enough," Carver said, grabbing Bethany. "Come on, Beth. We are leaving."

Bethany pulled her arm out of his grasp, "No. He is not a monster. I won't have you pulling me around. He the first mage I've met. I'd want to ask him some more question."

"No! This was dangerous enough." Carver shouted and Bethany opened her mouth to shout back.

"Enough!"a clear young voice rang out across the room. All of them turn to see young Hawke standing in the door way in a big white night shirt that nearly slid over his shoulders. Hawke rubbed his eyes of sleep and glared fiercely at the adults.

"No, fighting! What are you children?" Hawke reprimanded. "Open your eyes the two of you. Anders might be dangerous but I have yet to see him hurt an innocent person. He has been helping people in Dark Town without a fee. Can you say as much? He is a noble man and worth your respect. Use your head before you judge someone."

All of them gave Hawke a stunned look, and Varric was first to break the silence with a chuckle. "You heard Hawke. Now say you're sorry and lets get our maps."

Carver frowned but apologized, and Bethany nudged his arm. Anders handed over the maps with a thank you and an offer to help. Hawke rubbed his eyes sleepily, and yawned in the doorway.

Anders when over to Hawke, saying, "Sorry, we woke you."

"It's fine. He was just being stubborn." Hawke waved at the departing Twins. That was when Anders noticed the bandage on Hawke hand.

"Hawke, what happened?" Anders took the hand, and began a healing spell.

"Nothing. Just a couple of thug coming after me for revenge." Hawke said with a dismissive tone. When he saw Anders outrage, Hawke waved him away. "Anders it's nothing, really. I was too tired to heal it so I just rapped it. It'll be healed by the morning."

"Who was it? Did they attack you here?" Anders growled, standing tall gripping his staff. Hawke saw a flash of blue light in Anders eyes and elbowed him. Anders doubled over breath knocked out of him and coming back to his senses.

"It's fine, Anders. I'll deal with them tomorrow." Hawke said firmly. Then he covered his mouth as he yawned heavily. "I'm going to bed."

Varric watched Hawke enter the back room with Anders following behind still arguing. Varric shock his head and closed the clinic door.

"The strangest creature. But also the most amazing." Varric thought to himself as he walked away. "Looks like I need to call in some favors to deal with the Sharps Highwaymen."