Chapter 10: Everyone

Gioia's POV

"Need. Sleep. Now" I say, my face smashed into the pillow on my bed back in Toronto. "Oh come on. There will be plenty of time to sleep when you're old. But now you're young and you need to really experience life. Get your hands dirty. Get in trouble." Maya says, looking into my mirror and running a straightener over her wavy golden locks. "Well well well. What have you been up to while I was gone." I ask curiously, turning her way with a look of both concern and happiness. "Oh you know, this and that. Okay, I can't wait anymore. I need to tell you now." She says, turning the straightener off and walking over to my bed, sitting on the edge and hugging a pillow to her chest, her face buried within it. After a moment, her whole face appears. She takes a few deep breaths, then starts. "I'm meeting Cam's family." She says, a vermillion blush creeping onto her cheeks as she tries to contain her excitement. "No. Way. Oh my god this is huge." "I know." "How did this-" "I don't know." "But when did you-" "I don't know." She says, still with as much enthusiasm as she'd started with. "Wow. Meeting the parents. That's a huge step My. What are you gonna wear?" "That's what I hoped you could help me with." "Well I could certainly try." I say, following her out of my room and into hers, just a door down.

Her room is a disaster zone, clothing flung every which way and the floor barely visible. "So," she says, dragging her feet through the piles of clothes. "I was thinking of something casual but not too casual you know?" "Hmmm. Let's see." I say, beginning to dig around on the floor for something suitable. After a few minutes, I find the perfect outfit. "So I'm thinking black stretch cotton dress, jean jacket, light brown flats and your hair down." "How did you-" "I know." "But what did you-" "It took quite a bit of training and millions of moments like the one you're experiencing now. Date prep is kinda my thing." I say, picking clothes off of her bed and helping rearrange them into her nearly empty closet. "You're magic." "And I'm doing your makeup." "You're a lifesaver." "I have no life so I live vicariously through you." "Oh stop, you do too have a life." "Eh, its not a very exciting one. I mean sure, its chaotic and dramatic at times, but not fun. I'm just an okay singer, I'm not a musical prodigy." "Okay okay I understand. But I am no prodigy." "Say what you will, miss modesty. I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick. Stay here and pick up some clothes. Oh, and try to find some makeup brushes." "Yes Ma'am." She says, saluting and giggling softly to herself as I exit her small room.

I enter the bathroom and lock the door, taking my phone out of my pocket and sitting on the edge of the countertop by the sink. Zig had been texting me earlier that morning.

Zig: Three weeks till opening night. Can you believe it?

Zig: Do you wanna meet up for a coffee or something after practice tomorrow? My treat.

Wow, I forgot about the musical. I remember being so excited when I heard about getting the part. And knowing that Zig was my on stage boyfriend was not a bad perk. I thought to myself as I began scrolling through text messages and thinking up a response.

Me: Only three weeks? Wow, that's crazy! And I'd love to get a coffee with you after rehearsal.

I wrote back, waiting a response. Just as I go to put my phone away, it buzzes again with the sound of an incoming text.

Zig: Great! Oh, and Fi told me to tell you that costume department needs to see you asap tomorrow morning.

Me: Kk. See you tomorrow. Bye

Zig: Bye.

As I held the screen to my chest I couldn't help but think of how great a guy Zig has been to me. So supportive during the spat with Greg and Gabe, so sweet during the break with Brian. He's been perfect- he is perfect.

Maya's POV

I was in such a good mood after finding out about getting to meet Cam's family, but then my nerves started to sink in. I had to put my head between my legs so I wouldn't pass out. I love Cam, and his family seems great, but I'm not good at the whole "social" thing. I get so nervous and I start to babble about something random. Like the time I had my audition and they asked me why I like music. First came the silence, then came the babbling. And all I could think to say was that I liked listening to my sister play clarinet when I was little. I'm not even exactly sure how a clarinet sounds. But that didn't stop me from going on and on and on about it. Luckily I still made it. I think they felt bad for me.

Cam was so excited when he got the news. He came up to me after school with a big grin spread across his face, his cocoa brown eyes glowing with hope. He could finally show his family the girl he'd been talking about. I was so mad when Katie told me she was going to Kapuskasing to meet Izzy before I got to meet his family. I'm just glad now that I get to meet his brothers and sisters that he raves about, and see him in his home town. Kinda cool.

"Any luck finding brushes?" Gigi asks walking into my room and clearing my bed before lying down on it, sighing. "I know a love sigh when I hear one. What's up?" "Me? Well actually its Zig. I know you don't like him but I think I do. He's been really good to me M. Shouldn't I just give him a chance." "Well, alright. But if he hurts you, do I have permission for Cam and Fab to beat him up?" I ask, picking shirts off the floor and hanging them up in my closet. "Tris could bake him into a cake." I say, trying to stifle laughter. "Oh god! The funny part is, I could totally see that happening too. He'd serve it for dinner that night with ice cream on the side" "Hahahaha. Who are we kidding? You know he'd go all Top Chef on us and make him into a souffle."

I loved having a friend like Gioia. She knew how to cheer me up and was like a another big sister. Even if she is almost a full year younger than me. She's clever and hilarious. I just wish Brian saw her like that.

Brian's POV

"I had a dream about Gioia last night. We were back at her house, except it wasn't really her house. It was just this giant white room. And she and I talked everything out and we were getting along really well and then she started to fade away and I tried to bring her back but she just smiled and drifted away.

I just wish she hadn't drifted out of my life. I can't get over her. She's still a part of my life even if I'm not a part of hers. Maybe someday it could work out and we could get back to where we need to be. Unfortunately that day won't be for a very long time. I fucked up. Really badly. I screwed it all up and I don't think I could ever get us back to where we were."

"That's good. That's really good", Ms. Kilroy says, putting her hand on my shoulder for reassurance. I'd been forced to see a counselor once a week because of school work was falling behind and my teachers were getting concerned. It's okay though. Ms. Kilroy is nice. She lets me say whatever I want and I get out of class a lot of the time. I just wish I was okay. I'm a fucking mess. When someone is in your life for that long, and then all of a sudden, isn't, it fucks with you.

Ms. Kilroy says its a part of life and that its similar to grieving: It takes time and you may never heal completely, but it will become more manageable and less painful.

I just hope she's right.

Cam, Charlie, and Diane

Cam's POV

Shady Oak's visiting day had come around again and Diane and I made it a point to get ourselves there. We may have our own personal issues but we both love Charlie so much.

He's been my best friend since Grade 2. I don't know where I'd be without him. We were on junior hockey teams together and we were at each other's houses all the time. We'd grown really close and I missed him so much. He's had such a hard life and to see him finding help is amazing. I know it took him awhile but better late than never, right?

"Hey Charlie. How's life?" "Cam? Dude its so great to see you, bro!" Charlie says, getting up from his desk and pulling me in for a hug. I thought I'd surprise him in his room. He looked good. He was gaining weight again and his hair was growing back in. He looked really happy.

"So.. where's Diane?" "On her way." Charlie responds, checking his phone for texts. "You two still not getting along?" "Not really. We left off on bad terms and its hard to come back from that?" I explain, pulling up a chair and sitting down at his desk with him.

"Did someone say my name?" A voice asks from the door. I spin around to see Diane, dressed in a flowing yellow sundress, her hair in loose waves. "Hey Diane" Charlie exclaims, getting up from his desk yet again to embrace a friend. "Campbell." "Diane." I mutter, no emotion behind my voice. She treats me as if I'd done something horrible to her. I wanted to tell her that staying in contact while being at Degrassi and on the Ice Hounds was hard, but no way she'd believe me. She doesn't trust me.

"Nice to see you two tolerating each other" Charlie explains, standing between us with one arm draped around either of us.

This was going to be a long day.

Journal Entry (Gioia's POV)

Charlie died on October 9th, 2013. He'd overdosed and he couldn't be revived. Campbell commit suicide just 7 months later. His suicide tore the group apart. Maya had met his family months before and they loved her, as everyone does. But, Campbell started to lash out at everyone around him. His self harm had gotten worse and he kept missing school. Forgetting to do school assignments, not studying for tests, not showing up to practice. It was all piling up.

Maya and Campbell were falling apart too. His depression had gotten really bad towards the end. He wouldn't leave his room and he was hurting all the people he loved. Zig and I found him in the greenhouse on the morning of his suicide. He'd cut too deep. The letter beside him stated: "Charlie needs me now".

Maya became rebellious after that. She acted out as a means of attention and a cry for help. She and Tristan were the most affected by Cam's suicide. I just wish it hadn't have happened. We were all doing too well and then… we weren't.

Maybe me running away from the drama was a sign. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I may not be in drama but I'm shrouded with sadness. But, Cam's death is a lesson to us all. We've all got our own baggage and our own stories. Some of us just hide it better than others

Hey guys. So sorry I've been gone for so long. I'd written the beginning part a year back but never posted it. This story just needed an ending, even if it is very sad. If any of you ever feel alone or hopeless, remember that there's always someone out there to help you. Kids Help Phone and other organizations are here to help. Sorry for the sad ending but sometimes sad endings are the reality. Stay strong lovelies.