The waitress brought Ares and Aphrodite some food, even though they never ordered. Ares got this huge steak that looked more like a rhino than a cow with a tall glass of beer, well it looked like beer but it was bloodred. I tried to think of happier substitutes like a margarita or a fruit cocktail.
Aphrodite, weirdly enough, got a cheeseburger like me, except she got two of them and they looked way better than mine. She also got a dainty cup of cola, when she saw that I was staring at her food, she raised an eyebrow and smiled at me.
"What? Am I not allowed to eat what I like?" she asked, I got the feeling she wasn't talking about food.
I stared at my burger, losing my appetite. I could deal with Ares, he was hotheaded, ugly and full of hotair. He had more bark than bite, for a war god, he wasn't really intimidating. Aphrodite… I dunno, my head gets all fuzzy around her and everything else that's important melts away.
I hated that. I hate not being in control of my feelings or thoughts, it was the worst. That's why I hated love magic or stories where pretty girls give handsome dudes love potions to get with them. Those stories scare me way more than monsters.
To me, the scariest god has to be Aphrodite. I heard her kid, Cupid, was an asshole too and I'd rather not meet him in a dark alley.
"Well?" Percy asked, grimacing at the fact that Ares was pushing him up against the window. "Gonna start talking?
"Ease up, punk," growled Ares. "We're here on friendly terms, you see. Aphrodite here noticed you having a bit of… trouble, catching Bambi."
"The Ceryneian Hind," I corrected with a glare. Ares only grinned wolfishly and I pouted, irritated with how easy he was getting under my skin.
"I'm sure it ain't your fault, Percy. Thals here always did have a bit of trouble when she's on the prowl."
I slammed my fist on the table and stood up. The atmospheric pressure dropped within the diner and thunder rumbled overhead. I wasn't sure what expression I was making, but judging on Percy's look, it must've been pretty bad.
"Listen here you overcompensating dickish—"
"Oh, Thalia, please settle down." Aphrodite set a gentle hand on my shoulder which normally would've earned somebody an electric shock but a wave of peace and calmness washed over me. It was probably her love magic but at the moment I didn't care. "Ares's had the idea of simply smiting you two from afar, thankfully I opted for the diplomatic choice."
"Gee thanks," grumbled Percy.
I sat down hesitantly and crossed my arms. It was annoying how reasonable Aphrodite was beginning to sound right after she ousted my little… interaction with her daughter, gods this was embarrassing, I wonder if Zeus ever had to deal with this.
More thunder roared outside, I got the feeling Zeus was empathizing with me. He's famous for his various… interactions with anything with a pulse, it must've been genetic. Great I have awesome complexion, lightning powers and the inability to stay committed to someone.
"It's quite alright," Aphrodite whispered to me, winking playfully. "I was worried that Drew wouldn't fit in well at Camp, so, I'm glad she's doing fine. Oh, and don't worry, she isn't much of a gossip."
I blushed something fierce, barely able to keep my voice from cracking. "Y-you didn't happen to see the whole thing?"
Aphrodite took my hand and grinned softly, it reminded me a lot of Annabeth. "My presence is invoked when love is around. You did pretty well, for a beginner."
I felt mortified. Give me monsters or titans to fight, not this awkward situation!
"Anyhow," Ares continued, sipping his beer and belching like the pig he was. "You went to see Aristaeus, right?"
Percy nodded. "He wasn't very helpful either."
"Would any god be after seeing your ugly mug?"
I could see Percy struggling to not pull his weapon out and challenge Ares to a heroic duel, savior of Olympus or not you can't get away with sassing the gods.
"Luckily, we're here to help," Aphrodite offered with a diplomatic smile. I could see her love magic affecting Percy, he began to relax and grin dumbly at her.
Quickly, I snatched his drink and started to sip it in front of him. That snapped him out of it as he frowned at me but I just stuck my tongue out at him and handed his drink back. There needed to be at least one coherent person on this quest and if it couldn't be me, it might as well be Percy.
Aphrodite is nice and all but her magic is way too powerful. She would smile at you and you'd lose your head! You'd agree to anything she suggests and it would more than likely get you killed.
"We know where Cerynitis will be," Aphrodite continued. "And we'll be more than happy to show you."
"For what price?" Percy asked.
"That's the thing. We're doing it for free," Ares answered.
Percy and I exchanged a nervous look. Gods don't do anything for free out of the goodness of their hearts, unless they know for sure you won't survive the experience. Aphrodite and Ares in particular didn't do things for free considering how much Ares hates Percy and me.
"What's the catch?" I asked.
"No catch," Ares answered. "Just be grateful, punks."
"No deal," I told them.
Ares growled at me, glaring so darkly his glasses began to catch fire. His aura began to affect the diner patrons, suddenly everyone stood up and began to pace around impatiently with angry expressions like they had the urge to punch a wall suddenly. But I didn't back down, I wasn't going to get bullied by the likes of Ares.
"If you'll excuse me," I told Aphrodite, trying to get out of my seat. When I turned to face her, she was giving me a very sincere, very cute smile. She looked so much like Drew that I nearly called her that again. I noticed that she had silently finished her meal, something I found weirdly hot.
"Thalia, you have to believe me that we're trying to help you," she said, touching my hand sending a jolt of electricity up my spine.
"Y-you guys don't give handouts," I argued. "There has to be a catch."
"No catch," she promised. "I want to see you succeed."
"Then where is she?" Percy asked.
"That's the easy part, the hard part is getting out of where she is," Ares answered.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Aphrodite waved a hand impatiently. "Don't worry about it, listen, when you get there you have to be quick and work together, otherwise you won't survive."
"Of course, but why won't we survive?"
Aphrodite took my hands and smiled at me. "Good luck, Thalia. And don't worry about how confused you might feel, I promise you'll sort them all out by the end of this quest."
"Wait, what?"
Ares snapped his fingers and in a rush of air the diner disappeared…