A/N: So, putting this up as a single chapter so you can appreciate how much longer it is than every other chapter (though it might not be long by your personal standards it is certainly quite long for me). Hope you enjoy, meet me at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own or take any claim to the DRRR characters included in this story. They are all property of Ryohgo Narita.

Shizuo

Two months. Two damn months of the flea vermin being back and I still can't seem to get back into the swing of things. It's not like I can pretend he's not around, especially with his kid shadowing Mizuno all the time, and what's worse is it's not even like I can pretend it's like the old days where I spent hours chasing him around the city every other day.

I just don't understand why I can't get him out of my head.

Throwing the sheets from my legs, I charged out of bed with a fury that wasn't appropriate for an early Sunday morning. Hoping my daily dose of milk would ease some of the anger I stomped into the kitchen, threw the refrigerator door open and chugged the remains of the gallon of milk with my name on it.

I realized I probably should have been more considerate about the noise level of my temper tantrum when I turned to throw the empty carton away and saw Mizuno padding into the room with a tired but sharp glare. It was more than safe to say that she was far from a morning person and hated to be woken up on a Sunday, the only day she let herself sleep in.

When we made eye contact, I paused in my movements, waiting for the beginning of the ear full I was sure to receive. When she opened her mouth, I instinctively flinched, but the ear-splitting screech I was expecting turned out to be a low whine.

"Dad. It's too early to be angry." She complained. "What could possibly have you slamming about like Godzilla when you've only just woken up?"

And I couldn't help but laugh at her question, finding her humor more soothing than the milk had been.

She began polishing off her own carton of cow juice when I began to respond.

"I'm sorry, Mizuno. If we're being honest, I can't really say what exactly has me so riled up, though that's not much of an answer." I gave. "Sorry for waking you."

"You didn't wake me." She said, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt and chucking the empty carton in the garbage. "I mean, I wasn't fully awake, but I've been texting Higechi for at least half an hour." She spoke with a shrug. My reaction was less nonchalant.

Before I could stop myself, I'd put a severe dent in the counter. Mizuno's eyes, wide with confusion, studied me as if I were a peaceful zoo animal that had suddenly gone berserk. Which I guess would be a somewhat accurate representation considering I was rarely violent where Mizuno was concerned.

Not wanting to deal with any question she was preparing to hit me with, I stormed back to my room and shut the door, throwing myself onto the bed in frustration.

To think, my daughter who so dearly loved sleeping late would happily wake up early to talk to the spawn of scum…It made my blood boil because it was just another example of how much sway the kid had over her. They were as close as ever and part of me hated it. And what really pissed me off was that I still hadn't decided my exact feelings towards the kid. Is he a good guy or was he too much like his father? Did I really want a guy like him around my daughter? Not that I actually had any say in the matter—Mizuno would flip out if I tried to dictate who she could and couldn't be friends with—it would just be easier to know my personal standing on the guy…I didn't really mind him when they were younger, I assumed his father's twistedness hadn't rubbed off on him yet. But what about now? I mean, yeah, he hurt Mizuno, but it seemed to be an accident and they're all made up now…

I had to grit my teeth and tense my whole body to keep from putting a hole through the wall. I was going to have a big enough expense just getting the counter redone, I really didn't need to add to the list.

All that roundabout thinking gave me a headache and I wanted nothing more than to fall back to sleep, but I knew the thoughts that awaited me in sleep would be far worse. Lately, all my dreams were replaced with thoughts and memories of the flea. Our first meeting, past fights…just our general history together. Those thoughts really got me ticked off because the flea bastard figured out how to get inside my head when we're nowhere near each other. But a different part of me doesn't get mad…it gets…a little afraid…of seeing the memories associated with Izaya that I've tried to bury in the deepest parts of my mind. There are a few times where his schemes have not ended in total disaster for me…but rather, in ways that have changed my life, and probably for the better. I hate to think that I might be grateful to him for anything and I hate to think that there might be any good in the rotten louse—or his son for that matter but—

My thoughts were broken at the knock on the door. I turned over just enough to eye the clock on the bedside table and note that almost two hours had past and it was nearly 10 am.

Mizuno's voice was soft as it came through the wood. "Can I come in Dad?"

I was surprised that she asked. I'm quite used to her barging in and throwing things at me in the mornings and occasionally she sweeps in and leaves just as quickly to let me know she's headed out somewhere or when she's wondering what to make for a meal, but she never knocks and never asks for permission to enter.

I sit up and give her an affirmative, more than a little concerned at her formality. The door opens slowly and even when it's all the way open she almost hesitates to come in. She had a sort of shy, ashamed smile and was scratching at the hair at the bottom of her head. It struck me that this was the way she acted when she thought she had done something wrong, something she'd done as a child.

Considering that realization, I tried to force the nervous tension from my body and put on a casual look.

"What's up? You need something?" I push out, trying my best for open and calm but only getting forced and awkward, though she wasn't any better.

"Uh. I've been meaning to ask you this for a while…Um." She paused, the hesitation evident in the crease of her brows. "Uh…what's your policy on…you know, boys..?"

I didn't even try to keep my eyebrows from going sky high. At my reaction, her nervousness got worse and she began frantically trying to rephrase.

"Uh, I mean…Not boys—what I really mean is…Like…What do you think of…Higechi?' She finally let out with a sigh, like she'd given up trying to ease the question on to me. I didn't try to keep my jaw from dropping either. Needless to say, I had absolutely no idea what to say to her, let alone what she might have wanted me (not) to say.

I worked my jaw, hoping the motion would bring forth some words, but nothing came out. Mizuno would glance at me every other second with a shy expectancy but that only fueled my silence.

After another short moment, instead of trying to make sense of my wild thoughts I posed a question of my own.

"Why are you asking me such a strange thing?" And she immediately begins shaking her head and waving her hands about. It was quite funny.

"Uh, well…I was just…It's just that, well…I was just sort of wondering…because he is my best friend and all but he's also the son of your arch nemesis so I thought I should ask what you thought of him just in case you secretly hate that we're friends and that I sometimes let him into our house…and stuff." She admitted frantically.

Her explanation still didn't exactly clear up the idea for me. Sure, she asked for the truth but did she really want to hear it.

I sighed and it seemed to make Mizuno even more nervous.

"But I guess, that's probably a stupid question considering if you didn't like him you'd probably have been him to a pulp already and told him to stay out of Ikebukuro like you do to Izaya-san and even if you didn't do that you would definitely be less cordial on the few occasions that you two cross paths so maybe—"

Finding her nonsensical rambling just mildly annoying, I reached up and pulled Mizuno onto the bed beside me, spinning her into a playful headlock.

"Huh? Is this your way of asking for my blessing?" I joked and she gasped. "Have you developed a crush on the little flea spawn, hm?"

As I said this, I noted that somewhere in the back of my mind that it was a serious question.

"No way, Dad!" She spoke while trying to wriggle free. "We're just friends! I just wanted to know if that bothered you at all." I looked down at her with a small grin and she shot me a glare, her face turning a shade pinker, in embarrassment or exertion, I couldn't say.

Finally getting free, Mizuno toppled me and we began a sort of wrestling match. There were grabs and holds, hair pulling, pinching, biting. When she was younger we always played like this, never landing any blows that could really hurt but certainly taking it seriously enough, we even used to keep score.

The room filled with grunts and laughter and the occasional 'ow' until one of us came out on top.

Somehow, I had let my guard slip as nostalgia got the best of me and Mizuno managed to pin my arm behind my back and cradle my head in a choke hold.

"Say uncle, old man." She laughed out and for a moment I was going to give in, but my manly pride sided against that idea and Mizuno found herself flipped and pinned to the bed with a surprised yelp.

"Now, who should be saying uncle?" I played and reluctantly, she uttered the surrender and pushed me from her.

"Jeez, Dad! What is that now, like 61?" The loud, gravely laughter, I had been letting out stopped with a choke. My wide eyes landed quickly on Mizuno's face and she looked, wide-eyed, back. "What?"

"…You remember…the score..?" There was no strength in my voice.

"O-of course I remember, we used to wrestle like this once in a while, when we were both younger." She chuckled a bit before continuing. "The score was 60 to 49 if my memory serves…Until now anyway." She said, shrugging as if it was something she was, of course, still going to know.

In that moment, with her on the edge of the bed, I slid beside her and laid my head in her lap, looking up at her. She was only surprised for a moment before that unfamiliar soft smile spread across her lips. A smile, I know knew was usually reserved for Higechi.

Reaching up to smooth my hand through her hair, a smile of my own shown, more wistful than hers. It's been at least five years since we last interacted in such a way and the thought made me feel so close to her and yet so damn far at the same it. It was almost painful. I felt like a horrible parent at that moment, knowing that there was someone who understood my daughter better than me and knowing that that was probably my fault. How could I call myself her father when I had treated her so, like an afterthought? I had been so sure that she could handle anything, that she wouldn't need me, so I didn't even try to be there for her. I didn't deserve such a wonderful legacy. I don't know what made me think that I a lowly monster, the Ikebukuro Beast, could successfully raise a child, especially on my own.

Before I realized it, a tear slid down my cheek and I could only watch as the gorgeous smile twisted into a concerned frown, her deep brown eyes that looked too much like my own searched my face for a hint as to the cause.

"I don't think I've ever seen you cry before Dad…" She noted solemnly, wiping the moisture from my cheek with her thumb.

Not feeling the need to respond to her statement, I sniffled once and let my smile slip into a soft grin. "You know, you can be friends with whoever you like, as long as they're good to you and aren't a bad influence." I paused. "Does the Orihara brat meet those qualifications?" I asked with a hint of humor in my tone and Mizuno nodded vehemently. "Then he's fine by me." I gave and sat up, standing from the bed with a stretch. "I'm going to head out soon."

I wasn't expecting the hug I received, but as fast as it happened, it ended and Mizuno was scurrying off to her own room. With that, I began readying for the day, hoping to all hell, I wouldn't regret what I was about to do.

What was maybe an hour or two later, I found myself waiting in the park for the one person I never thought I would be waiting for. I realized I probably should've thought up a better plan before actually acting on the recent whim, but there was little time for that now.

Minutes after that thought, I found the tip of a blade floating ever so close to the tip of my nose and slid my eyes up the arm to the owner of the weapon, not that I needed to look to know who it was.

"Why the sudden request to meet, Shizu-chan? I must say I was surprised you would actually invite me into Ikebukuro." The louse spoke but I was thrown for a loop when I didn't find his usual disgusting smirk marring his face. "I must also say, I'm not really in the mood for you today,"

"Then why did you come?" I countered and his lips twitched ever so slightly.

"You know, that's a good question." And he tucked his blade away, slipping the now empty hand into his pocket. "What do you want, Shizuo?"

The usual taunt in his tone gone and his use of my full name sent my mind reeling if only for a moment. I collected myself and decided to ignore his weird attitude in favor getting this whole ordeal over with.

"Sit," I commanded and instead of fighting about it, Izaya simply did so. Again, I attempted to ignore his current disposition and simply posed my question. "What do you think of Mizuno?"

The flea raised his eyebrows in a way that clearly asked if I was stupid. I gave him a look that clearly meant just answer the question. To which he responded, "I don't. Think of her, at all."

"That's bullshit. You were the one who came to me wondering if we should craft some plan to make her and your kid friends again." Fighting off agitation as I spoke.

Izaya placed his head in his hand and stared forward. "That's true…" He paused, seeming to be thinking. "I guess you can say, I don't think of her unless as by extension of thinking of Higechi. Why?"

Again, no taunt, no tease, no smirk, or grin. His attitude was getting to me but I didn't know if I should ask about it, besides, it's not like I cared about his feelings or his life.

"I'm wondering how you feel about their relationship."

"Yes, but why?" The exasperation evident in his tone, which was a surprise, I'd never heard him sound so tired or down. My curiosity got the best of me.

"What's wrong with you today? You're so damn depressing right now and it's really ticking me off." I growled out, though I did mean to be a bit nicer about it.

"It's nothing your feeble mind would understand, Shizuo. Now, why have you asked me this ridiculous question regarding your offspring?" This question held a bit of anger in it, clear he was getting just as frustrated with me.

"Mizuno asked me what I thought of her and Higechi this morning and for some reason, I wondered what you thought." I gave in, not really wanting to start an unnecessary argument.

Izaya quirked his eyebrow and for a moment there was the slightest hint of his usual personality.

"Who would've thought the child of a monster like yourself would be so like a typical teenage girl." He mused and it felt like I was nearing my last straw.

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?" I asked through clenched teeth. "Here I am, trying to be civil and you just must be rude and get me riled up, don't you?"

The flea barely spared me a glance, only sinking his chin further into his palm and sighing almost inaudibly.

"You're right. I'm sorry." And I almost choked on my spit as those two words left his lips.

"Did you just apologize to me? Are you sure you're doing okay? Do I need to bring you to Shinra's?" I fired at him because there was no way that stinking flea would ever apologize to me if he was in his right mind. But he continued staring off into nothing, his only response a simple shake of the head.

For a moment, we just sat there silently, in the same space.

"I like Mizuno just fine. And I have no qualms about Mizuno and Higechi's relationship…I rather think they're good for each other." Izaya admitted with a sad shine in his eyes but a neutral tone. It was with this admittance I decided I was fed up and in one fluid motion, I stood up swept the flea up and onto my shoulder and began running towards Shinra's apartment. Of course, Izaya was furious.

"Shizuo what do you think you're doing?! Put me down!" He yelled as he flailed his legs about. My grip on his arms prevented him from moving around too much as well as from cutting me with any knives he had.

Part of me was wondering why I was even bothering and another part absolutely had to know what was going on with the flea.

Izaya

"You imbecile! Put me down! You brute, beast! I demand to be released!" I yelled while kicking my legs at Shizuo like a helpless child. Why he suddenly began carrying me off was a mystery but it was really grating on the little patience I had.

"Where are you taking me? Idiot! Beast! Fool! Put me down!" I tried again, but he only gripped my upper body tighter and even wrapped his other arm around my legs, stopping their flailing.

Shizuo was the last person I wanted to deal with right now. His stubborn and bullheadedness had a way of irking me so and after all the drama of this morning, I just wanted to be left alone. I have no idea why I agreed to meet him in the first place…No, I do. It was the fact that he extended the invitation in the first place. I couldn't shake my curiosity at why the monster would ever be civil with me by choice. So, I showed up, I showed up but now I regret it.

"Shizuo! Put! Me! Down!" I screamed with a ferocity unfamiliar to me, directly in his ear.

"PIPE DOWN FLEA!" He yelled back, his voice, much like himself, much stronger than my own despite all the effort I put into producing it. "You're not acting like yourself so I'm taking you to Shinra." He added quieter but with the same amount of anger.

This perplexed and infuriated me. Firstly, why would Shizuo, my enemy—a man with which the only thing we share is hate for each other—care about whether I was acting myself? Secondly, why would he attempt to 'help' me? And third and most importantly, why would he think that pervy doctor weirdo would be able to do anything about it?

I tried my best to continue squirming but his hold on me was more than I could handle and the only part of my body I could successfully maneuver was my head. So, very unlike me, I chose to give in to the beast's impulsive desire and let him sweep me away.

Which is how I found myself sitting with my head in my hand on the couch of a certain doctor who had been staring at me expectantly for the better part of an hour as if I would really divulge the reason behind my rare sour mood…and sort of contemplating the idea, if only as a means to get both men to leave me alone.

"So, Izaya," The bewildered doctor began—and of course he was bewildered, not only was I in his home but Shizuo was the one who brought me and there wasn't a single scratch on either of us. "What seems to be the issue?" And before I could say anything the idiot beast puts his two cents in.

"This ridiculous fleabag is in the strangest mood and he absolutely won't come off it. I mean, he even apologized to me!" He explained, yelling and gesticulating wildly like the uncouth behemoth he was.

"Well, as out of the ordinary as that seems, Shizuo, I'm a medical doctor, not a therapist. I can't do anything about Izaya's feelings, short of giving him a lobotomy." Shinra put out humorously and I scoffed, thinking there was no way the plebeian would know what a lobotomy was.

"Oh please, Shinra, there is nothing wrong with me. This monstrous idiot is making a big deal over nothing." I spoke up for myself. The two looked at me with varying expressions of observation, which was normal considering I had been silent since before arriving. Then a glint rose over Shinra's glasses and I knew I was in for a terrible headache.

"Is that so, Izaya-kun?" The pest began with a teasing tone. "But if Shizuo was the one worried about your mental health, how could it really be nothing, hm~?" Then he let out a snicker. "Why don't you relax and tell Dr. Kishitani what's troubling you." He maneuvered behind the couch and was leaning over my shoulder. I was inclined to punch him in the face but I controlled the impulse, privately proving the difference between myself and Shizuo. Who, I might mention, plopped onto the opposite couch, and nodded as if prepared to hear my life story.

I couldn't decide if the situation was more amusing or irritating, so I opted to regard it neutrally and see where it would take me.

"Come on! Just spit it out already!" Shizuo yelled and I continued to ignore him.

"Come now, Shizuo. Yelling at a patient is not an effective tactic in getting them to open up. You have to soothe them," My whole body tensed when I felt the four-eyed doctor drop his hands somewhat forcefully onto my shoulders and then slide his hands down my arms. "Make them feel comfortable, that way, they're more inclined to loosen up." And as the words left his lips hands traveled precariously toward my inner thighs, my body froze in silent protest, and Shizuo's eyes following his movements devotedly but with what appeared to be a flustered expression.

Not at all partial to being felt up, I slammed my head backward into the face of the pervy doctor, who fell away clutching his nose. Shizuo's surprise was evident and I let a glimpse of a grin pull the corners of my lips up, deeming the now fully blossomed headache and dull pain at the base of his skull worth it.

"My, my, Shinra, we've become quite bold, haven't we? I wonder what our dear friend Celty would say if she knew you were molesting a 'patient'?" I taunted, holding the situation over his head. He pleaded frantically for me not to say anything and I couldn't help the mirthful laughter that left me.

"Now that's more like you, Izaya." I choked on my laughter when I heard Shizuo speak my full name, and when I spared him a once over I felt the urge to fall out of my seat. He was looking at me with something close to…affection of all things, what with his disarming yet cheeky smile and his contented posture. It was as if he were regarding me like a dear friend of his.

I'm cross to admit that the thought caused a strange feeling to settle over my shoulders and I suddenly felt the need to escape.

Not wanting to raise any alarm or cause any other inconveniences for myself, I thought it best to graciously bow out.

"Well, Shinra, Shizu-chan. As fun as this has been, since it is evident that there truly is nothing ailing me, I must make my swift exit, as I am a very busy man. Ta-ta~." And with a wave and a flourish of my jacket, I went off on my way, straight home to Shinjuku.

Spinning in my desk chair couldn't calm the blood that was boiling in my veins at having to have such a preposterous conversation and over the phone no less. I pondered the pros and cons of just hanging up on the insufferable woman and ditching this phone, wanting nothing more to be done with the stupid witch but I decided that I would later regret such a decision.

I did, however, muse over the idea of blocking her number, which I concluded was a must as this had been the fourth call in the span of a single day and she was still attempting to spout wild, nonsensical drivel my way.

"Izaya! You ass, are you even listening to me?!" She chirped from the other end of the call.

"Not particularly." And I added a condescending sigh, just to annoy her. "Look, no matter what you say, it's not going to convince me to relinquish Higechi to you."

"He is my son!" She protested.

"No, my dear, he is my son, my legacy and if you push this matter any further you will never see him again." I let a fierce malice slip into my tone as the woman grated on the last of my nerves.

"You wouldn't dare…"

"But you know I would. You seem to forget the deal that we made. I drew up a contract, you signed it which means this is not a conversation we should be having." Her gasp filled me with joy and the silence that followed satisfied me greatly, until she spoke again, of course.

"B-but that contract couldn't have been legal, you're too slippery and he you hate—"

I cut her off right there. "Don't talk as if you know anything about me!" I raised my voice and the unfiltered malice in my tone even shocked me.

"I dare you to file for custody Haruka, it just might be the last thing you ever do." Again with the malice, but more so this time. I swung the chair around so I could look out over the city. The sun was slow in its late afternoon descent.

"D-don't threaten me, Izaya…Y-you were kind to me once." Her voice quivered and I couldn't help the singular yet resounding laugh at the thought.

"Oh please." I gave and with that, hung up and tossed the phone onto the desk.

The woman certainly had nerve, I could give her that. Calling me up and demanding I give Higechi away to her. Indeed, nerve. What brought such foolishness from her anyway? They had only just seen each other a few months prior and before that, they hadn't met in years. Why did she suddenly want him so badly? Was it because she saw him? Saw how he'd grown and wished she had been a part of his life? How simple-minded and wishful. It was much too late for her to have any real impact on him. And besides, even if I did 'give him up', who's to say Higechi would go to her anyway? I mean he likes her fine but he just returned and readjusted…and he had the plebeian offspring. Ha, I bet if he left again, that'd be the end of that. She would never forgive him a second time.

Not that I'm partial to her or anything, she just seems to make him rather happy. And it seems to be mutual…which means if he left, the girl would completely fall apart, which would piss off Shizu and send him into a rage with the intention of harming Higechi…or both of them, actually, and one could liken that to a death sentence.

I sighed a true sigh, this time. Even the thought of Shizuo as an extension of his daughter brought my mind reeling back to earlier that day. That expression of undebatable kindness…how could he possibly direct something like that at me, the person he hates the most? Has taking care of that girl really matured him so? I know I said it before but at the time it had been somewhat of a personal joke…Now, it seemed like that was what I really thought—

I took another, rather rapid, spin in my chair trying to shake from that train of thinking. I mean, the notion that I, Izaya Orihara, could consider Shizuo Heiwajima to be mature? Unheard of, unbelievable, impossible. Unless…

But I didn't allow my mind to even go there. Fostering such a ludicrous idea would do nothing but lower my IQ. With this conclusion and a newfound resolution to avoid thinking of Shizuo, I threw myself from my chair and made moves towards the kitchen, hoping the food Namie left, would be an effective distraction.

Before I could completely settle back into my desk chair after the delicious meal, I heard keys rattling at the door. Not at all worried as to who it might be—the only other people with keys to my apartment were Namie and Higechi—I went about my business, powering on both my desktop and laptop.

I must admit that I had been a bit surprised to see that it was Higechi who had unlocked the door and entered. Though he is my son it was rare that he graced me with his presence, the same could be said for me, though. We weren't terribly close, certainly not how I imagined Shizuo and his daughter were.

Directing my mind away from the beast and his life and back to my own, I took a moment to look Higechi over, seeing how his mother had suddenly decided she wanted custody of our sixteen-year-old. He had grown to look strikingly like me, but there was always a hint of Haruka in his expression, a twinkle in the eyes, a quirk of the lips, the small dimple of his right cheek…

I wasn't opposed to admitting that Haruka was beautiful, she was breathtaking really, which was part of the reason I chose her. I wanted my child to look just like me, for there to be no doubt in anyone's mind who his parentage was, but I also knew that the recessive genes given to him by his mother would create the perfect balance, the perfect child. And he really was the perfect combination of us. For each of the traits that people found undesirable inherited from my gene pool, he inherited a redeemer from Haruka.

"…Dad. Is this a good time..?" Higechi questioned in a tone he hadn't used in years. It was much younger than the teenager who stood before me.

I schooled whatever melancholy expression that crossed my face while I had been admiring my son and regarded him warmly.

"But, of course." I began. "I always have time for my own flesh and blood." Cue smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Higechi?" I asked, getting straight to the point. I really was in no mood for games or childish anxiety, even my paternal favor for Higechi was worn thin.

Stepping further into my apartment after closing the door behind him, I noticed a slight squaring of his shoulders, as if he were about to boldly profess something. I couldn't help the quirk of my brow and the invisible wilt of my lips.

While he took a deep breath in preparation for whatever he was about to say, I took that moment to stand from my seat and put a hand up to silence him. Immediately, recognizing the gesture, any sound that might have been building up within him died and I knew I could speak first.

"If this is about the Heiwajima girl, I don't want to hear it right now."

Words cannot describe how quickly and vastly his face changed. Even I couldn't identify all the emotions behind the many expressions that glided on and off his face in the blink of an eye. The last one, however, was a stony façade I was all too familiar with. It was the face I couldn't help making when someone, somehow cut me deep.

I flinched at the sight of it. The whirlwind in his eyes tearing across the stoic beauty of his features too much for me to handle even as cold-blooded as I am, yet I had no intention of retracting my statement.

"Y-you don't even know what I was going to say." He stuttered, sounding more than a little confused, and more than a little offended.

"You're right, but I do know that it is highly likely that it had something to do with that girl and honestly, the last thing I want to hear about right now is how you're conflicted over your seemingly daunting, yet frivolous and juvenile feelings for a girl you left behind several years ago," My response far more chilled than I meant it to be. Despite it being how I really felt, I did feel a twinge of guilt for not hearing him out like a parent should, but that twinge also put me on the defensive, which brings out the worst part of me. And I must say, the look of sheer incredulity was near priceless. Too bad it was smeared across the face of my own child or I would've relished in the moment.

What shook me from my distant observations of the situation I found myself in was the glimmer of a single tear sliding down Higechi's dimpled cheek. It was caught in the crease of his lips that were—surprisingly—turned up, but turned up into the saddest most soul-piercing smile I had ever seen—caused…

My body shook and my mind instantly felt thick as if flooded with murky water. Never had guilt hit me so hard. Never had I regret something I had done so deeply. I thought for a moment, that I could never feel any worse than this…that is until he spoke…in a hushed and broken tone that tugged on heartstrings I didn't think I had.

"…Then they are fleeting? They are juvenile? If I could leave her behind once, I must be capable of doing it again…Is it then that her honey brown eyes will stop haunting me? Is it then that the sight of her pink lips pulled into a smile will stop wilting my mind? Is it then that the sound of her voice saying my name will stop convincing my heart to skip a beat?" He paused and his eyes fell to the floor beneath him, tears flowing freely. I could only watch as his hands trembled the whole way from his sides to his face, where the merely redirected the tears instead of stopping them. "Will all of this sweet torment really just drift off me at my say so..?"

And before I could even flinch in an attempt to right the wrong I had so unjustly dealt, my son was gone, my apartment now more empty than ever if only to match what I felt deep inside, behind all of the walls I had long ago put up.

Higechi

Just a floor above where my whole world crashed down around me, I sat down at my desk, too like my Dad's for me to be comfortable with at the moment, pulling out a pen and a sheet of paper.

Before I could convince myself not to, the words had already begun forming on the page.

Mizuno,

I have made a mistake, and though I am now sure of that, I still can't decide if this should be an apology or not…

A/N: I have mixed feelings about this, but here it is anyway. It sort of took a turn that wasn't on the map but I'm down to see how it works out. Anywho, please, please let me know what you think of this, the longest chapter of HYB. Also, I'm gonna try to do updates every other Monday or so and see how that fits into my new schedule. Anyway, hope to have you again.

Much love,

LZ