An: The much awaited chapter ten! yay! we are practically at the climax!
thanks to all my reviewers (sp???) the ninth was the most reviewed chapter! they made me sooo happy!:D
a special thanks goes to Catlover855, for the longest review i have ever seen! she asked me if i was going to finish the story at the meeting of Carlisle and Esme. my answer is : i don't know. it's up to you guys.
that story was originally born as a oneshot. now we are at chapter ten. i was planning to maybe divide it in two parts, two stories, and writing about all their story from their meeting to bella (pre-twilight). but i understand it's really long, and maybe you prefer something shorter. well, tell me in a PM or review.
ok, i have finished, sry but i had some things to say.
" A ticket for Ashland, please" Esme's said to the ticket man. He was, she could say, short, and very fat, he also had a mustache , but he seemed friendly enough.
"Yes, ma'am." He said in a cheerful tone, then he averted his eyes to her stomach, he smiled .
"Going to visit the father?" he asked, then noticing her wedding ring.
She looked down, smiling a sad smile, while he handed her the rest and theticket.
"No, he's dead" she responded, her eyes far away. She wore an all black outfit, how could he have not noticed? She wondered.
His expression fell and he grimaced, "I'm sorry ma'am" he said, his voice grieving.
Esme seemed to return down to earth, "No problem" she answered, smiling wide.
And, in fact, there was no problem at all to her.
Flashback
Some weeks passed from the day she found out. She had morning sickness, but luckily she always slept in late, so, when she woke up, Charles wasn't with her. She was an emotional wreck. On one hand, she was excited, happy, euphoric, afraid and worried about this pregnancy. She wanted to be a mother, to have a child. To prove the feeling of having another being inside of you. A feeling of fullness. Have another world inside of you, another life, another being. It was exhilarating. On the other, she didn't want it to be that way. She didn't want it now, or with Charles. She expected her first pregnancy, and the successive ones, to be with a man she loved. Like that girl at the station, who was parting from her true love. They were truly in love. She wanted to have a child with a man she loved unconditionally, purely, truly. Not with a man she hated. Charles. And how in the world was she going to tell him? She was scared at the thought of him being a father. Him being in absolute control over another being. If he had that control over Esme, who was an adult, even if a weak woman, who could say what he will do to a weak, unaware of the world, naïve child? She shuddered at the thought. But she had to. Her clothes didn't fit her anymore and she ate too much. Oh and don't forget of her stomach in expansion. She decided to tell him one evening while they were silently eating. Anevening like many. She was eating her macaroni pasta with tomato sauce, when, abruptly, she "I'm pregnant" she said, looking at a vase near her. Charles didn't stop eating, his movements clam and composed, like his voice when he finally spoke. "I suppose it's mine" he said, looking at her, his expression vaguely curios, almost amused. She still didn't look up "Obviously" was the only thing she said. "You bitch!" he screamed, and then he lunged at her. He grabbed her hair, which made Esme let out a horrible shriek. Then he dragged up the stairs, her body scraped against the hard floor and the rough wood. She didn't even get the chance to stand up. He didn't let her. He took her to the guest room, the walls painted a dark red. He stop his march and left her in front of the bed. But he wasn't finished yet. He started screaming prophanities and swears, while slapping her. Accusing her of be a whore who slept with every man in town, while punching her. Then he kicked her in the stomach once, then in the chest, knocking the breath Esme thought she was finally be killed. But God, or maybe Charles, thought differently, because then, abruptly he stopped. He was panting. He sucked in deep breath while standing, towering over her bleeding body, watching it with empty eyes. And then, as fast as he came, he went out of the room. Leaving her alone all night. She just laid here, watching straight ahead, under the bed, her eyes wide. Thinking. Only when the sun rose and its rays touched her face she knew what she had to do. Leave. Because a child couldn't live in that cruel climate. Nor could she, not anymore. She waited till noon, when she heard the front door slam. She slowly got up and, as if in a trance like state, packed her clothes, not all, and went down the stairs. She never stopped at the door, she just opened it and stepped outside. She never looked back to take a last glance. She only went on, and on , and on. She went at the station, where, in a bathroom, she changed her dress, wearing a black one. She then wore a black veil, black shoes and black coat. And then she tested her theatrical abilities. Now she wasn't Esme the runaway wife, but Esme the widow. End flashback
spit it out.
out of her.
"So, how are we doing today Mrs. Platt?" Doctor Sawyer asked Esme.
"Fine, I guess. I feel extremely tired, although the baby is not kicking as often as before " she said with a smile. It was her eight month of pregnancy and everything was fine. Or at least everything seemed fine. Doctors were good, and medicine made progress everyday, but there was no way to tell for sure if the baby was alright.
"I'm glad to hear that. Well, everything seem fine. We have finish here. Now you can go talk to Silvia " he said with a smile, chuckling when he saw her dress herself and heading toward the waiting room.
Silvia was the secretary of the doctor, a woman in her early forties, with brown curly hair always tied up in an up do, slender and thin silhouette anda friendly smile. She was also a great speaker, or rather a chatter box.
"So how did the visit go? Is everything alright? How is the baby? I'm so annoyed by the fact we can't know what its sex is! I think is a boy, and thrust me, I'm experienced. With seven children who wouldn't be?" Silvia said in her everlasting cheerful voice.
During her last months in Ashland, Esme befriended with Silvia a lot. She didn't know anybody in Milwaukee, where she stayed at her cousin's shortly after her leaving. She started talk to Silvia when she first came to the doctor.
She had never been to a gynecologist before, so she searched for comfort in the little, happy and nice secretary of his office. She found a friend. Mostly it was Silvia the one who really talked, but Esme didn't mind, because she talked a lot about her family. Her children.
She had so much to say. On day it was the older who didn't wanted to work, another the third girl who wanted a dress they couldn't buy, another time it was the littlest who was afraid of the dark and the second to last who didn't like vegetables. Esme found it funny, comforting. A family, as crazy as it could be, it was a family. It meant home, someone who would have never left you, no matter what. Sure sometimes it could be annoying, boring, stressful and insane, but it was home.
And then, Esme learned lots of thing about babies: how to change them, how to feed them, how to comfort them, how to scowl them. A complete course on parenthood from childhood to puberty. It was perfect.
"It went well Silvia, like always. We are almost here!" Esme said, smiling excitingly, jumping slightly up and down.
"Esme, don't worry, everything'll be alright. And birth isn't really that painful. It's almost pleasurable." Then she gestured Esme to came closer, so to not be heard by other women.
"I'll tell you, it's similar to an orgasm" she said, smirking.
Being with Silvia for some months, made Esme learn lots of things she didn't know before. Lots of things. Silvia was very worldly-wise, and experienced. Hell she had seven children!
Esme blushed "Oh" was the only thing she could say.
That night Esme was on her bed, in the hotel she was staying at, eating an apple when she felt a terrible pain in her stomach. She jumped, but relaxed when the pain stopped.
After few minutes there was another one, and then another. She was scared, maybe something was wrong with the baby. But then, as the pains grew closer
to each other, she knew that the baby was alright. It was her who was not going to be so alright.
She started calling for help, hoping the annoying woman who occupied the room next to hers would come and see the reason for all that noise. Luckily she did and, after seeing Esme in her condition, she called the receptionist, who called the doctor, knowing the number thanks to all the times he had to do it for Esme.
The birth wasn't as bad as she thought. Silvia was right.
After the last push the doctor said her the baby was out, and she relaxed.
That was a start, a start for another life. Their new life. She relaxed in the silence embracing the room.
The silence.
Her eyes snapped open.
The baby wasn't crying.
She saw doctor Sawyer and Silvia try for half hour to bring the baby to shout. But the silence stayed.
That deafening silence.
And when the doctor and Silvia took off their masks and looked over at her with sad eyes, she let blackness embracing her too.
Lung infection. So stupid.
She didn't succeed at be a good daughter, she didn't succeed at being a good wife and she didn't seceded at be a good woman. But that was probably better, she wouldn't have succeed at be a good mother, either.
They couldn't know. But her body should have prevent this. She was made for produce another beings. Her body was made for it.
Why couldn't she have only one thing right in her life? In herself?
That was what plagued Esme's thought while she was walking.
She made her decision.
She didn't have a husband. She didn't a have family. She didn't have a position. She didn't have her baby.
She couldn't do anything. She didn't want to do anything. Her life was ended. Finished.
She continued to walk.
One, two, three more steps.
She took a deep breathe, letting the pure, fresh, sharp air filling her lungs.
She opened her eyes and took in everything she could see. She smiled.
She made her decision. Soon, she will have everything. Her baby.
Peace.
And so, still smiling she moved her right leg ahead.
And so fell, off the cliff, in the rough sea.
First she felt only the cold water invading her lungs, then the cold was everywhere, then she went numb.
Unresponsive. But in a sick, tortuous way still aware of everything. Of the pain, of the loss. The utter hopelessness.
Days, hours, seconds, she didn't know. Time passed, because time always passes, and then she went out her state of numbness.
Because she felt something, something she won't have to forget for the rest of her existence.
She felt cold again. And then the fire started.
An: ok who will we see next chap? uhmmmm...i really don't know! ihih
tomorrow i have an English test...I hope it'll go well! now i'm going study Latin. wonderful. anw i'm happy because I get 8 in greek.
do you know what makes me happy too???????????
-drumroll-
REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
Baci