Two hours later, standing in his apartment, she felt the walls closing in on her. She stared at him. She took in his mussed up hair, his pale face, the tear stains on his cheeks. She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes, she swallowed down the bile that was rising in her gut, she breathed deeply and tried to speak because she knew she had to, she knew Will was waiting for her to say something.
"Will, I….I thought this was a set up. I thought this would be over." A sob escaped from her throat as she spoke the last word. Her hand reached up to her eyes to stem the tears that had started to flow.
He closed the distance between them and took her hands in his. "Leesh, I am so sorry. I thought it was too. I'd hoped it was but it isn't. She is having my baby and I can't walk away from that, I won't."
She opened her eyes to look at him. She knew she had no right to feel so upset. She certainly had no right to feel betrayed and yet somehow she did. That feeling came flooding back. The feeling of jealousy, the feeling that she should have been the one to give him that precious gift, that she should be the one revelling in his joy and commitment to a baby.
She swallowed hard when she saw the look in his eyes. He was happy. Yes he was worried about her reaction but beneath that was joy and she knew that joy herself. She knew how it felt to create a life and the anticipation of its arrival. In that moment she realised that she loved him so deeply that she actually wanted this for him if it made him happy.
She spoke softly this time.
"Baby, you are happy about this. I can see it in your eyes. This is a good thing for you isn't it?"
Will lifted one of her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss onto the palm. She felt the nerve endings in her arm react to his mouth on her skin and inhaled sharply.
"Yes, I'm happy. I thought my chance of being a Dad had passed. I thought my work would be my legacy and I thought I was ok with that but now this is real, now there is a baby, my baby, I realise how much I want it and how much I need it."
He paused to check her reaction and she felt herself smile to encourage him to continue.
"But the timing sucks. As it always has done for us. I know that and I hate that but it is what it is. I don't want to lose you now I finally have you but I can't have a child and pretend it doesn't exist either."
He dropped her hands and tucked his hand under her chin, angling her face up to his so she could not break eye contact as he spoke.
"Alicia, please say you will be with me despite this. Please say you won't run away again. I won't ask you to help me, you don't have to be involved with the baby if you don't want to be. Just be with me."
Her mouth moved but no words came out. She was overcome with the depth of her love for him in that moment. She moved her face so their foreheads were touching. She felt his breath on her face, she saw the desperation in his eyes. Suddenly her mouth was on his. The kiss was deep and full. Their tongues clashed and she felt his hand move down to her waist, pulling her into him closer still. She pulled back from the kiss, took his face in her hands and stroked his cheeks, following the tracks of his earlier tears with her thumbs. She noticed that his face was less pale now, the passion of their kiss had turned it from white to red and she knew his heart was pumping as hard as hers was right now.
She lent forward and whispered into his ear.
"I'm not running. I'm yours. I will always be yours."
She felt his tears falling fresh, some of them catching on her cheek bone as she rested her face on his. She moved to look at him and started to kiss his tears away. Tasting the saltiness of them on her lips, feeling his chest heave as he stopped trying to hold it all in. She felt her own tears start to fall and mingle with his and he pulled her into him once more so they were holding each other close and crying. Both letting years and years of love and desire and frustration pour out of them until they were exhausted and he let her go.
They stood there for a long time smiling at each other. Their faces swollen from crying. Their throats dry from sobbing. Finally he spoke.
"So, this is it then? We're all in? Both of us this time?"
She flinched slightly at that. She knew he was more invested than she could allow herself to be the first time and she knew she would never stop regretting that.
Holding him closely to her she answered.
"Yes, we're all in. I've got to tell my husband I'm divorcing him, you're having a baby with a stranger. Yet somehow this is our good timing Will. I'm in."
So that's it, its all over. I finally finished it! I hope you enjoyed it :D