Alright guys I promised you an update by Friday and I try to always keep my promises!! This chapter went in a totally different direction then I planned but to be honest I'm happy about it and I hope you guys will be too. I know you guys are waiting for Brucas to get together but I'm trying to be as realistic as I can considering that this whole story has only covered 3-4 days in Tree Hill but things will be heating up in the next few chapters I promise. I already have the next few chapters planned out and I will have some free time this weekend so I should be able to get some more updates!! Reviews Please… I get a lot of story alerts and author alerts but if you could take the time to review that would be awesome, it tends to make me write a little faster!!
Lucas POV:
I was getting ready to go to bed when Brooke finally text me back and now here she is lying in my arms and I can tell how broken she is. Even though she is acting like it's not bothering her, this situation with Peyton is bringing back painful memories of the past. And unfortunately the painful memories have a lot to do with me. I want to ask her why? Why did she think that just because Peyton told her that she had feelings for me that I would leave her? But I know that I can't ask those questions right now, I know I just need to be here for her in whatever way she needs me.
"Luke?" Her voice pulls me out of my own thoughts as I look down to see her staring up at me.
"Yeah" I reply as I softly run circles over her arm.
"Where were you just then? Where did your head go?" She says and it's weird how well she can read me.
Hopeless, wondering if anybody noticed,
Feeling like you're drifting out of focus
Cause you're hopeless
You're just a hollow soul
"Honestly? I was just thinking that I know this has not been a great evening for you and I wish there is something I could do to make it better." I say and I mean it. I would take away her pain in an instant if I could.
"Well you are doing a pretty good job just letting me lay here for a bit. I mean after what I told you when I walked in I'm sure you have a million questions." She says as she lifts her head up and moves to where we are now sitting face to face.
"I think a million questions might be pushing it a bit." I say as I try to lighten the mood. "I do have a couple though; I guess the first one would be what caused you to kick Peyton out?"
"Eh… I don't know…I came home and she had driven by here and saw my car. Next thing you know we were arguing about how I was always second best to you and…" I cut her off before she can continue.
"Never ever think that you were second best when we were together I was in love with you and there is no where else in the world I wanted to be." I say but unfortunately she was shaking her head at me.
"You do realize that the day we got back together you left on a road trip with Peyton. I know that you made a promise to her and I know how you are about keeping promises but honestly Luke How do you think that made me feel?" She says as I see the tears filling her eyes.
"I know Brooke, I know. I just got caught up in the hero complex that Peyton had for me and I…" Once again she is cutting me off.
"And you forgot how to have a girlfriend. Actually you just forgot how to have that hero complex for your girlfriend." She says as she leans her head back into the couch.
"You never needed saving Brooke and you know it." I say and it's true she never needed my saving.
"Maybe, Maybe not but it would have been nice to know that you would put me before her." She says and its true back in high school Peyton came before anybody and I regret that more and more everyday of my life.
Crying, feeling like a part of you is dying,
Reaching for the strength to keep you trying
Still you're crying
You're living in the cold
"You are absolutely right I wasn't a very good boyfriend in high school." I say and she looks at me with a small smile.
"Well you weren't a horrible boyfriend and you are doing a pretty good job at saving me now a days." She says as she slowly leans back into me.
"You don't need saving Pretty Girl you could do this all on your own." I say as I lay my head on top of hers.
"Probably but it's a lot better having you around." Sighing as she says this and propping her feet up on the coffee table to make herself more comfortable but I can tell it's not really working.
"So back to the topic at hand what led to you actually kicking Peyton out?" I question and I can feel her body stiffen.
"Like I said we started arguing and it just kept going and going and then I just told her that we needed to take a break." She says and I can't help but chuckle. "Why are you laughing?"
"You are taking a break? Who are you Ross and Rachel?" I chuckle and in a few seconds she's laughing too and it's good to hear her laugh.
"Friends reference huh? I guess you watching those marathons with me paid off!" She says and I know she's proud of herself. We used to watch them all time and even though I complained I secretly enjoyed it.
"I guess so anyways back to the story so you told her you needed to take a break is there more to it then the arguing?" I ask and she sighs as she moves to the other side of the couch but pops her feet onto my legs.
"The fighting was a pretty major aspect but also it feels like since we came back here we just don't communicate at all and we're just different people now. We'll always be friends but I think it's time for her to stand on her own two feet." She says and there's no anger or bitterness just a sense of sadness and relief all rolled into one.
"I'm proud of you" I say and she looks at me with her kinked eyebrow and I smile and continue. "I really am it's about time you put yourself first for once."
"Thanks Broody that means a lot coming from you." Now it's my turn for the inquisitive look. "Well we both put people before us so I guess I should be proud of you too for putting yourself first."
Say goodbye to the people
You don't need in your life
Say goodbye to the heartache
And darkness of the night
I'm thinking in this moment that I need to do something anything to confirm in Brooke's head how much she means to me not only now but how much she really meant to me in the past. I know she is going to get a lot of it from the book but I need something for her that no one else has ever seen. I know exactly what I can do and I can honestly feel my heart start to beat faster. I gently move her legs and stick out my hand to her she looks at me with questioning eyes.
"I want to show you something" I say as I slowly lead her into my bedroom.
"Luke, I have been in your bedroom before" She says smiling at me.
"I know Brooke" I say as I reach into my desk drawer and pull out an envelope that has been there for 4 years I hand it to her.
"What's this?" she asks while looking at the envelope.
"This is a letter I wrote to Keith after he died, no one knows I wrote it." I say as I sit down on the bed.
"Why are you showing this to me?" She says as she sits down next to me.
"Well for two reasons actually. The first is your name is mentioned quite a few times in this letter. And the Second is I want you to have something that shows you how much you meant to me regardless of what other people say or even what you think at times. This letter wasn't supposed to be for anyone else's eyes. This is how I felt at that moment in that time and no one and no thing can take that away." I say and I see her crying. "Don't cry pretty girl"
"This is a lot Luke are you sure about this?" She asks and there is not doubt in my mind.
Say hello to the rising of the sun
There will always be a brighter day
You got to carry on
"I have never been so sure of anything. I want you to read this I actually think you need to read this." I say and she looks at the letter and then back at me.
"Can I read it now?" she says in barely a whisper.
"Of Course I'm going to go back into the living room and you just take all the time you need" I say and she just nods her head and I make my way out into the living room.
I have no idea what she is going to think when she reads it but to be honest I'm not afraid because at this moment in this time those words on that piece of paper are words that Brooke needs to see.
Brooke POV:
Fire, burning with the passion it desires,
Suddenly you're hands are reaching higher
You're on fire
Your love has made you whole
So here I am sitting on Lucas's bed holding a letter that contains his feelings and thoughts during the darkest time of his life and I honestly don't know what to think. My hands are trembling so much because this is what I wanted all along was for Lucas to let me in and now that he is it's scaring me. He says my name is mentioned quite a lot in this letter and to be honest I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but I guess there is only one way for me to find out. So I open the envelope and begin reading the words that Lucas never intended anyone else to see.
Dear Keith,
To be honest I have no idea why I'm even writing a letter considering that you will never read it but I guess since Brooke and I have started writing letters I realize that it is a great way to get your feelings out. This will probably be a bit jumbled but these are all things that I wish you were here for us to talk about. So we buried you today and I have so much anger in my heart and I don't know what to do with it. It's been such a long day and Brooke just left but she will be back at least I hope she will. She has been my rock the last week and I haven't done a good job at thanking her for being here in fact I've done just the opposite. I shut her out most of the time and even if I do let her in it's only for a few minutes then I'm closed off once again but for whatever reason she won't leave my side. Her best friend was shot and she has barely seen her because she's been too busy trying to be there for me and mom. Speaking of Peyton she kissed me the day of the shooting, I have been debating in my head whether or not I should tell Brooke but I'm so afraid that she will leave me if I do and I don't think I could handle that. The kiss didn't mean anything and I can still say that I am 100 percent in love with Brooke now more than ever. She threw a party at the school tonight and I actually got mad at her but all she was trying to do was show me that we are all still alive and I'm going to make it up to her somehow. Were headed up to Rachel's cabin in a few days so we can all try to heal and I guess that's all we can do maybe we will smile and not be faking it and maybe we will laugh. I miss you Keith and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life but I need your help. I need to help Mom slowly move on and I need to move on because I know that is what you would want for me and for all of us. If I stumble or fall help me along the way and if for whatever reason Brooke and I don't survive this together help me to make sure she knows how much she means to me because I don't know how good I am at showing her. Who knows what life has in store for me but I know I won't be the same without you. I don't know if this is the only letter to you that I'll ever write but know that I'm still going to be looking to you for advice. So keep your eye on all of us because you will always be in our hearts.
Love Your Son,
Lucas
It's amazing the power that Lucas's words have over me. In an instant I was brought back to that time in our lives. A time when we had no idea why the world had chosen to become dark in our eyes and our hearts. It's a sense of relief to know how Lucas felt during that time because he didn't come out of his darkness very often.
I don't even know how long I've been sitting in here but I have read those words a few times now. I finally get up off the bed and walk out into the living room but he is not here. I see the back door open and I walk out to see him sitting on the porch steps. I slowly walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him and he leans his body back into mine.
"Those words were amazing Luke." I say as I attempt to make myself comfortable.
"I meant everything I said about you Brooke, My mom and I wouldn't have made it through that if you wouldn't have been there." He says as he lets out a breath he seems to have been holding for a long time.
Say goodbye to the people
And poison in your life
Say goodbye to the heartache
And trouble and strife
Say hello to the love that's just begun
There will always be a brighter day
You have to carry on
"You would have been just fine Broody, you are strong and you know it." I say and then there is a silence. Not an uncomfortable silence but a peaceful silence where no words need to be said. At least until Lucas breaks the silence his voice barely above a whisper.
"What's going on in your head Pretty Girl? He asks as his arms rest on my legs on either side of him.
"I'm thinking…I'm thinking we should get out of here." I say and he looks back at me with a small smile on his lips.
"What do you mean get out of here?" He asks and now it's my turn to smile.
"Well you know Broody some people call it a trip you know leaving town for a few days!" I say and he playfully smacks my leg.
"I would love to but I have that hearing on Monday and if I miss it I'm definitely not coming back to coach." His body stiffening as he says those words I kiss the top of his head.
"Well then Monday as soon as the hearing is over we will head out of town. I can get Millie to watch the store for the week and it's pretty simple for you to take a couple days off of your job since you are an author and all." I say and he looks at me with a serious expression.
"Not that I'm totally against the idea but what's this really about Brooke?" He says and I sigh and he rubs my leg to let me know its ok.
"Honestly I don't want to be here right now. I don't want to live in a tension filled house until Peyton leaves on Friday. I have had enough pain in the last few months and so have you. Let's just get away and have some fun. Besides its going to be pretty boring since the Naley clan is headed to see her parents after the hearing as well." I say and I hope I am convincing him.
And no man is an island
You can't go on alone
When you're heart starts breaking
You need to come back home
We're all looking for something
The search for the one
On and on and on and on
"Well where do you suggest we go then Pretty Girl? He says and I can't really contain my excitement.
"YAY!!! Well first I was thinking we could just drive down to Myrtle Beach but now I'm thinking a little farther!" I say and he just looks at me with a surprised look.
"How much farther are we talking?" He says and I just laugh as I answer him.
"How do you feel about Orlando?" I ask and he just smiles at me and I know he knows where I'm going with this. Before we had broken up we had talked about going there but of course it never happened.
"Finally want to make that Disney World trip happen huh?" He says and I nod my head in excitement. "Well it's about a 10 hour drive so if we head out after the hearing on Monday we should be able to visit Mickey and all his friends by Tuesday afternoon."
"You Lucas Scott are the best you know that right?" I say as I stand up and walk back into the kitchen I realize how late it is and if I have any chance of making this whole road trip idea work I need to get some sleep so I can kiss up to Millie tomorrow. Even though I am the boss I'm not going to force her into something she doesn't want to do but I don't see it as a problem.
"I have been told that I'm the best but it never gets old hearing it." He says as he closes the back door.
"Conceited much Broody?" I say playfully as I slap his shoulder.
"Nope just stating a fact and you know it." He jokes back with me as we slowly walk towards the best.
"I will say you are pretty good, the best ehh… that might be pushing it." I say as he pulls me in for one more hug.
"I guess I'll just have to take what I can get! Are you sure you are ok going home?" He says and the worry in his voice is evident.
"Yeah I'm sure, Peyton will be asleep and I'll be out of the house before she wakes up. Sounds pretty stupid but Operation avoid Peyton is in full affect." I say and I know it's childish but I really don't want to deal with her right now.
"Well if you need a place to hang out I'll be around tomorrow just going to be working on my speech for the hearing." He says as he walks me out to my car.
"Good to know but I will probably spend most of the day at the store tomorrow. If you come by around lunch time I can run to the mall with you to look for a suit for the hearing." I say and he smiles at me.
"Sounds like a plan Cheery. You know the drill, Have a good night." He says as he closes the door to my car and slowly makes his way back into the house.
The ride home is fast and quiet and as I walk back into the house I'm thankful that Peyton is still sound asleep. I walk into my room and change into some pajama's and send Lucas his mandatory I'm home safe text and lay down in bed allowing the exhaustion that I have been feeling take control but I fall asleep with a smile on my face and the reason for it is all too familiar. I'll give you a hint he's blonde haired blue eyed and his name is Lucas Scott and he has had a spot in my heart since the minute I met him and that spot is getting bigger and bigger everyday.
Say goodbye to the people
You don't need in your life
Say goodbye to the heartache
And darkness of the night
Say hello to the rising of the sun
There will always be a brighter day
You got to carry on
Say goodbye to the people
And poison in your life
Say goodbye to the heartache
And trouble and strife
Say hello to the love that's just begun
There will always be a brighter day
You have to carry
OK there it is... please if you read leave a review I want to know what you all think!!!!