Once Upon A Time Chapter Ten, a buffy x-overs fanfic

Title: Once Upon A Time

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. At all. If I did, I'd have more money then God and would never have canceled BtVS and Angel.

Summary: A teenage girl is given an impossible destiny. She's taken away from everything she knows and everyone thinks she's dead. Eight years later, she's back, and in for one hell of a fight.

Distribution: Just ask if you want to use this.

Spoilers: All of Buffy and Angel. Through GoF, and some minor ones from OotP.

a/n: To anyone who is either a Cordelia-holic or addicted to crossovers (I'm both), read clcountry's story Merging With the Traffic.

I'm really sorry it took me so long to update, but I couldn't log in for, like, a week. I had to get my parents to spend three hours playing with the cookies and security on my computer to make it work. Turns out there was a virus and those three hours did diddly squat. I bought a new computer and now, here I am, along with a brand spanking new chapter. In case you wanted to know, I'm really hyped up about all of the reviews I got! I'm so happy! Now, time to respond to those reviews…

clcountry- You rock! I'm glad you liked this chapter. The Professor HumbleWhore line just kind of popped into my head, and I thought, why not go with it? I'm so glad you updated! Chapter Six was really great!

Moonjava- Thank you.

Sarah- Sorry if you're roommates think you're crazy. If it comforts you, lots of my friends think I'm crazy, too. I'm glad you liked this chapter.

Lightdemondarkangel- I know Hermione wasn't with the little witches and wizards for Order of the Phoenix. That's why she's surprised to find Dumbledore coming out of the basement, and that's why she didn't warn Harry about Anya's vision, or know what the Order is. Buffy's hiding out upstairs because she doesn't want the people she thinks live there to find her, and about a hundred Slayers and Watchers, breaking into their house, fully armed. The reason the Scooby Gang and company can see and get into Grimmauld Place is because Anya got the vision straight from the Powers That Be, who are a lot stronger than Dumbledore.

Jenna Summers- Thank you a whole lot. About Kennedy, I figured she would mellow out a bit after not only spending a year with Willow, saving people's lives, and getting older, and therefore more mature, but the whole being Chosen thing tends to make people grow up. I'm glad I can use the cookie thing! It's got a big future ahead of it during Step Twelve.

Charmed-angel4- Thanks! Everyone seems to have loved Anya's first words to Professor Dumbledore, personally, I'm pretty proud of them myself.

LizaGirl- Of course they're going to have setbacks! Things wouldn't be normal if life actually went well for the Scoobies! But they have to do the whole one step forward, two steps back, thing, first.

Spikes Girl5- Thank you. I'm trying to keep the updates coming fast.

Etoile Star- I'm glad you liked it! Yes, the scythe is the same one that was used to activate all of the Slayers. You know how Buffy is about her weapons, do you really think she would part with her favorite shiny new toy?

Alen Pitt- I never said Old Voldy wouldn't ally with one of the Slayer-verse villains, did I? (Insert hint here) I might use some of those Dumbledore nicknames, just to warn you. No, Cordelia and Anya didn't share an intimate moment. There can be more than one Seer in the world, you know? I never said anything about Spike and Angel, either. (Insert really big hint) You're right about Harry and Ron, but the reconnection bit won't happen for a while. Even then, it'll be slow. The whole shaky truce in the face of a big honking fight? Much with the likeliness. Which means all of those little problems of theirs are going to come out to bite everyone in their respective asses when you least expect it.

naiya-isis- You and I? Thinking along the same lines. Mrs. Weasley has enough of a problem with Ron saying "Bloody Hell!", let alone sex talk at the table. Hee hee hee.

NikiNox- You're bound to have a whole lot of laughs before this story ends.

chicklepea- I'm so happy you like this! Interesting point you brought up, I'm going to have to watch Harry Potter Three again.

Goddessa39- Much with the happiness right now. See the reply to Jenna Summers' review about Kennedy. I figured everyone was stressed and out of line at some point or the other during Season Seven, but it would take a lot more then that to disregard everything they've all been through together. I'm not saying a word about the pairings. Not one word.

Heain- Hi! Hi! Hi! I'm glad you liked it! You probably don't need any tips, you know. Start posting on here so I can find out! I already knew when Once More, With Feeling was on because I checked the FX website last night (Tuesday) and my TV is set to record both Once More, With Feeling and Tabula Rasa on Friday.

Vld- Who knows how all of their minds work? Especially Snape and Dumbledore.

Slays- They were downstairs in the meeting, that's why Dumbledore opened the door just as Buffy and Anya were finishing up their part of the first floor.

Bob the Almighty- Thanks… I think.

Just Me- Thank you for your Anya appreciation. The cellar door couldn't be opened because that was where the Order has its meetings. Remember, the meetings are in the kitchen, which OotP said was in the basement along with Kreacher's den.

gabrieldarke- Thanks. I'm not going to say anything about Faith yet. Wow, I'm almost showing discretion! Yay, me! I'm so proud!

Damia - Queen of the Gypsi's- The class for midgets to learn how to have sex is Sex Ed.

Vampyr Moon- Anya sort of asks your question for you, in, oh I don't know… two paragraphs!

Wouldn't U Like To Know?- Thanks so much for the review! The wizards are pretty much underestimating the whole Scooby Gang. The only Buffy, or Hermione, they knew was anything but super-strong. They think the rest are just a bunch of Muggles, although Willow and Buffy probably have them a little scared. Buffy knows everything about Voldemort that she knew at the end of her fourth year, nothing more, nothing less. Sorry it took me so long to update this story, but I couldn't log in.

Wow! These are getting longer and longer, and I couldn't be happier! Keep reviewing! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Five minutes had passed since Buffy had run into Dumbledore, and in those five minutes, people still hadn't closed their mouths. Buffy would've recommended it, but she was too busy trying not to laugh at the expressions on the witches' and wizards' faces. Back when she'd still been Hermione Granger, Buffy would have never thought that the Headmaster could actually look completely floored. Of course, she'd never thought that you'd be able to tell, either, through that entire long beard, but you could. And the effect was hilarious.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" Anya demanded. "He just said his name is Professor HumbleWhore! Where did that name come from, anyway? Because all of the whores I ever met weren't very humble. But that might have been because of the screaming. It turns out that angry wives are never too happy with the other woman- especially when they're pretty. Why is that? I think it's discrimination. They should wish just as much pain and suffering on the ugly ones," Anya said, just shocking her audience even more.

By now, Buffy's shoulders were shaking as she struggled not to laugh. She could very clearly remember her own reaction to some of Anya's comments, back in the days before she developed an immunity to them- well, in most cases. Naturally, Dumbledore was the first to recover, but only because a distraction was posed. The distraction came in the form of Willow Rosenberg- Wicca, redhead, and lesbian extraordinaire. Said Wiccan was leading her very own platoon of Slayers, and barking orders at them in a way that showed just how much time she had been spending with Kennedy.

"March! Check every room! I don't want to leave a single demon alive, do you understand me?" the loud voice, coupled with Willow's legendary resolve face, seemed very out of place on the woman, yet she was clearly enjoying herself.

As the Slayers moved past the stunned Order members to check out the basement, Willow walked over to Buffy, her military commandant attitude completely gone.

"Did you see me?" Willow beamed excitedly. "I just told people what to do! And, and, they listened. Only I wasn't all brunette and veiny, y'know? I was Impressive Willow! And no one had to get threatened, either, cuz that would be bad. A really big bad thing."

"Calm down, Will," Buffy laughed as her friend rambled on, "You were much with imposing-ness. Go Team Willow!"

The old wizard behind them cleared his throat.

"Miss Granger? Miss… Willow? Do you mind explaining what just happened? And what exactly you are doing here?" Dumbledore asked the three young women.

"Well, Anya called you a ho and Willow turned into Initiative Girl," Buffy explained.

The Headmaster of Hogwarts didn't think he could remember a time when he was more embarrassed. Between the vulgar comments and that annoying nickname, his cheeks were brighter then the night he'd gone to drop Harry off at the Dursley's house. The beard wasn't helping to cover it up, either. Good Merlin, Miss Granger was still going on.

"Or would that be a man-ho, cuz you're a guy? Or is there another word for it? Like, prostratute, instead of prostitute? Anya, do you know?" Buffy asked her fellow blonde.

The former demon opened her mouth to answer, but fortunately, she was cut off as the other Scoobies, and the Slayers they were leading, came clattering down the stairs.

"Anya, don't answer that," Giles commanded.

Anya looked perplexed.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I don't want to know. Never will want to know, as a matter of fact. And I do not want to spend the next twenty years trying to get visions of where you learned the answer to that particular question out of my head," the Watcher sighed, reaching for his glasses.

Anya pouted but stayed silent. Which was a very good thing, seeing as most of the witches and wizards in the room were still frozen in shock. Mrs. Weasley looked like she was just barely stopping herself from clapping her hand over her children's ears. In fact, the only thing that was stopping her was the fact that she couldn't figure out which Weasley's ears to protect.

"Maybe we should, you know, figure out what the holy chocolate sauce is going on here?" Xander suggested.

Dumbledore turned to look at him.

"Yes, I must agree with Mr. ..." he trailed off, peering at the dark haired youth through his half-moon shaped spectacles.

"Harris, Xander Harris," Xander filled in, "Wow, that sounded James Bond-ish, didn't it? I'm the Secret Agent Man."

Giles rolled his eyes at the young man exasperatedly.

"Xander, now is not the time," he admonished.

Xander rolled his eyes.

"When is it the right time?" he demanded. "You're always "Now is not the time"," he mimicked the Watcher's accent, "when are you going to say "Xander, now is the perfect time to make witty and amusing sarcastic remarks"?"

"Perhaps when they actually become witty and amusing?" Giles advised.

Buffy snorted.

"You two sound like six year olds on the playground," she remarked.

"Wow," Kennedy murmured with a mischievous grin, "You actually almost sounded like a mature adult."

Buffy stuck her tongue out at the other Slayer.

"Says the crazy corrupting evil military chick," Xander drawled.

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking to, Mister," Willow said indignantly.

Professor McGonagall emitted a strange sound half way between a choke and a gasp.

"Why don't we go into somewhere less… demon-filled?" Giles suggested hurriedly.

"I agree," Professor Dumbledore looked like he was seriously considering handing himself over to Voldemort before his shocked followers fully realized what they were hearing and tried to kill him for agreeing to spend more time with the crazy Americans.

    

Anya was bored. The old Merlin wannabe was still talking! Why did humans spend so much time talking, anyway? Most of them weren't even funny, like Xander. Some of Xander's comments were very funny, and he wasn't as bad as most of the human males she had met. Except for the betrayal and leaving at the altar. But Anya figured she had punished him enough- unless he tried it again, that is. Right now, Xander was being a very good boyfriend. He gave her lots of expensive gifts and orgasms. That was good. Good Kormax, was that old nut still talking?

No, Anya, you're just imagining it, Cordelia snapped inside the liaison's head.

I wish I was imagining you, too, Anya thought, but she was happy for the distraction all the same.

HumbleWhore was getting annoying! How many times could you say how dangerous one puny wizard was? Once upon a time, Anya had used to like torturing wizards much more powerful then Lord I Got My Ass Kicked by a Midget Human. It's not like he was even that powerful! He started out as a common mortal man.

Glad to see you still hate their gender in general, Cordelia thought dryly.

I do not! It's just that women are clearly more superior to men, Anya explained.

Can't disagree with you there, Cordelia agreed.

Why are you in my head? Anya asked the newest Power That Is.

If she had been solid, and well, alive, Cordelia Chase would have rolled her eyes. Of course, if she had still been alive, Cordelia wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

I like your company? She asked coyly.

Cordelia, I am over twelve hundred years old. I know when someone is not telling me something. And I want to know! Anya knew that last part had come out sounding whiny, even in her head, but who cared? Only mortals bothered hiding their feelings.

Pfft. Fine, whatever. We need your help, the ex- Seer declared.

Huh? I thought you were one of the almighty, big, magnificent, holier then me, Powers That Aren't. Why do you need my help? Anya asked, annoyingly blunt, as always.

And Cordelia was annoyed.

We're not perfect, you know. Us Powers are only people who oversee things on Earth, there's plenty of us in other dimensions. We monitor what's going on, and we've seen some pretty freaky stuff. Which is why we need your help, you dumbass, Cordelia explained testily.

We? Who we? How many we's am I going to be helping? Anya asked suspiciously.

Me, Doyle, Jesse, Tara, Darla, Jenny, Fred- everyone who still wants to help. Now, stop being so damned paranoid. Get Giles to figure something out for us, God knows he's a walking brain, anyway. Tell him to find out what the hell this stupid prophecy thing means, Cordelia ordered.

Aren't you the ones who make the prophecies? Anya asked.

Aren't you just full of questions today? The ex- May Queen sniped, We only give people prophecies of things we know will happen in the future. Once in a while, something- don't ask what, because I don't know either- drops a bunch of words in our heads with instructions to tell them to someone who can help figure out what they mean. In this case, you.

Why not Giles? Anya asked.

Can you picture the expression on his face if he found me poking around in his head? He's way too English for that. Besides, you're the liaison to us. As in connection, lackey, toadie, messenger, are you getting the picture here? Cordelia snapped.

Anya- solid and very much alive- rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

Yeah, although I should be getting some kind of payment for this. It's the custom in this world, and since it's your duty to watch over this place, I think you should observe them.

Okay, whatever you say. Power That Is or not, Cordy was starting to get annoyed. The prophecy is 'The angels fall from Heaven's light, deep into the darkest night. The circle is broken. The earth shakes. A champion bears a token, that rivals all the enemy makes. Beneath the surface the beast roars. From the sky, blood pours. Hear the child's call and listen. Will they answer or will they fall?' Nice, cheerful theme, right?

Anya mentally reviewed the gloomy little ditty until she had it committed to memory.

How am I supposed to tell Giles about this without letting him know Higher Powers consider my head their own personal Hawaii?

Make up some theatrical oh-my-god-I'm-seeing-pain-and-death act, Cordelia suggested, You should've seen some of the crap this Trelawney woman tries to pull. Pfft, as if predicting someone's going to die a horrible and painful death makes you a Seer. Sunnyhell would've been able to start their own Psychics Only town if that was true.

Anya mentally snorted. She had met more then her fair share of annoying frauds in her life.

"Ahn?"

Since when do you call me Ahn? The Power's…lackey asked.

That wasn't me, dumbass, the lackey's boss replied.

Huh?

But Cordelia was gone, and Anya was faced with whole roomful of people looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"Oh, what?" Anya asked.

She saw that the other Scoobies and some very disgruntled Slayers were standing near the door, clearly ready to go. Well, now was as good a time as any, right?

CORDELIA! She mentally screamed.

The ex demon registered the Higher Power's presence in her mind less then a moment later.

What? Cordelia asked anxiously.

How do I start floating? Anya demanded.

Oh. Geez, trivial much? God, I'm a Higher Power, I have more important things to do, you know, Cordy huffed.

Unless you don't want me to have a fake vision, I better learn how to float, Anya pointed out.

Fine, just close your eyes and picture it in your head, the brunette- although you couldn't tell- instructed.

Okay, now what?

Open your eyes, you moron, Queen C was very much still in Cordelia. Maybe too much.

"Oh," Anya said softly, looking down.

She was a good three feet off of the ground. That was a lot more then her visions normally caused. Of course, she hadn't actually had a vision.

"Anya?" Xander asked worriedly, looking up at his ex-fiancée, current girlfriend, and former enemy.

"Can you get me down from here?" Anya asked calmly.

"Uh, sure," Xander asked, a little confused.

Normally when Anya had a vision she would start talking about it right away. Then there was that weird expression on her face. It was the same one she had worn when Willow had cast the forgetting spell. Like there was something buried underneath what the face she was showing the world. Back then, it was the fact that she was an ex demon and most definitely not engaged to Anya. Now, it was… well, Xander didn't know what it was, but he was going to find out. But first, they had to stop the one woman he wanted to spend his life with from banging her head off of the ceiling.

    

Harry stared after the group as they left. What had just happened?

If you wanted to get technical, Harry already knew what had happened. But the perplexed young wizard was still very confused. He knew that somehow or the other, monsters had attacked the Order. He knew that Hermione, her Snoopies, and quite a few young girls who were impossibly strong for their size. He could have sworn that Hermione had lifted one of those ugly things up with one hand and thrown it across the room. But that didn't make any sense. Hermione was tiny. She didn't seem to have grown at all since he'd last seen her.

But how had she been able to lift that scythe? Hermione didn't look like she could open a tightly closed jar, let alone kill something. Oh well, it must have been a trick of the light. Or lack of. Harry pushed the thought to the back of his mind, preferring to figure out just what was going on with his once best friend. Not that she viewed it that way, not anymore. Harry wished things could go back to making sense. Then, things had been easy. Not always perfect, perhaps, but simple. Voldemort equals bad, Dumbledore equals good, Ron and Hermione equal friends. Voldemort plus Harry equals bad. Ron and Hermione help Harry. See? Simple.

Now, it was more like Harry equals angry, sad, short tempered, ass. Ron equals sad, lost, and confused. Dumbledore equals an old man trying to figure out what was right. Hermione equals one very large mystery. The only thing that hadn't changed was Voldemort. Voldemort still equaled bad. Although, the way everything else was going, Harry wouldn't have been very surprised if the Dark Lord decided he wanted to be good and start his own Quidditch Shop. In fact, Harry would have bought the first broom.

When did things get so complicated? When did people stop caring? When did Hermione stop caring? Once upon a time Hermione Granger had placed nothing above her friends. Now, that might not have changed, but her friends had.

And deep down, Harry knew why that bothered him so much. Why he couldn't really bring himself to try to talk to her, learn more about the life his best friend had led, and get to know the strange people she had befriended. Harry Potter felt guilty.

Why hadn't he noticed something was wrong? Why hadn't he wondered when there was no funeral? Why hadn't he checked the flight list? Gone to the memorial service? Went to visit Hermione's nonexistent grave, and figured out the truth? Why hadn't he tried to contact one of her relatives? He knew she had tons of cousins, and therefore, aunts and uncles. Why? Why? Why?

Why hadn't Dumbledore known? Or at least suspected? Harry had long ago lost any notion that Dumbledore was perfect. Those had fled the second he'd found out just how much Dumbledore had kept from him, including information about the prophecy that meant so much, and would leave Harry so little. Either Voldemort would kill Harry or Harry would kill Voldemort. That left Harry with the decision to become a murderer or become murdered. And the knowledge that he would have to keep himself alive so people still had hope. That he would have to let people die to save him, just because he was the only one who could kill Voldemort.

Knowledge can be deadly, and the knowledge of Hermione's non-death was creating a lot of little problems in Harry's mind. Maybe if he had stopped grieving for Cedric, he would have noticed that something was wrong with Hermione. Maybe all of this could have been avoided if he had just been a little more perceptive. Maybe Hermione could have avoided all of this trouble and stayed with them, or at least gotten rescued within a week, if someone had noticed. Maybe they could have defeated Voldemort already, if he'd had his friends behind him and spent the year happy, instead of mourning Hermione. Maybe they could all be leading happy lives, free from the threat of evil, with careers, and children, and families, and life. Laughter, fun, peace, normalcy. All of them were the things that every good wizard craved. Once upon a time it had been a possibility. Now Harry didn't think that any of those things would ever happen. Still, the responsibility of defeating Voldemort hung like a heavy cloak over his face. It was suffocating him. He didn't think he would ever be able to die in peace. In his last moments, Harry was sure that the accusing glares of everyone he loved would be upon him. Asking him why he hadn't stayed alive longer. Blaming him for not saving them, and for being able to escape this world for the alleged paradise beyond the veil.

Then everyone would blame him, like they still didn't, although Harry felt like they should. If he was supposed to save everyone, why hadn't he done so already? Why had he let so many people die? Why were there some many should have dones, could have dones, ifs, and whys? And when would Harry really feel the peace he so wanted? Was it in paradise? Was there a heaven? Or would he be condemned to Hell for the deaths of all of the people Voldemort had had the chance to murder because Harry wasn't strong enough? Would he go anywhere at all? Because Harry was losing the belief in such a thing as Heaven.

    

Buffy looked around the living room and felt a little tug deep inside. Once in a very long while she could forget all of the horrors of Earth, and truly know that she had a heaven all to herself. They were little glimpses of what was to come after death that were made even sweeter by how rare they were. Once in a very long while, Buffy knew what one instant of perfect happiness was. It wasn't a hyper, active happiness, it was just contentment. Peace, safety, the knowledge that nothing could go wrong and everything could go right. Security, but without limits, the kind that comes from knowing anything is possible.

If an outside observer glanced at the Summers' living room, it would be obvious why Buffy felt that way. Every single Scooby- if not all of the people she loved, damn near close- was assembled. They weren't angry, no one was grumpy, and a rare sense of togetherness filled the room. Only to run away with its tail between its legs the second Anya opened her mouth and recounted her happy new prophecy.

"Well," Xander said after his fiancée was done, "doesn't that sound perky and not vaguely apocalyptic?"

"No," Dawn said, with all of her suave teenage tact.

Xander heaved an aggrieved sigh.

"This conversation is going to end with me leaving to get donuts, isn't it?" he asked, with the air of a martyr.

"Yes," Giles said, reaching for his coat, "meet us back at my office."

As he spoke, the other Scoobies could see his "research mode" expression descend upon his face.

"Bring oxygen tanks, he might not come up for days," Buffy remarked, referring to Giles.

Xander saluted.

"Will do, Captain Slayer," he promised, going to get the indispensable donuts.

    

Cordelia looked into the pool worriedly. What was going on?

"Guys!" she called anxiously.

Hee hee hee. I'm evil, I know. The cliffhanger was just a tad mean. And it's going to stay that way unless people respond to this survey.

I know it's petty. I know it's mean. But I'll do it anyway. I'm holding Chapter Eleven for ransom. The price? You answer these in either your review or in an e-mail to me (see my user page) or Chapter Eleven never sees the light of your computer screen. Don't worry, the answers can be short.