Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Path Through the Dark

Chapter Ten

Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. Everything was going so well. Why did her sisters have to be complete asses? And David – he was practically agreeing with them. Sell the house, sell the furniture, have mother move to a smaller place; to Michaela this was like saying erase every memory of her father. It was unacceptable. With light steps, she reverently approached her father's desk and sat down in his leather chair. The tears that she had held back in the other room threatened to spill again and Michaela swallowed hard against them.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, marveling at how it still smelled like her father even after all this time. With her eyes closed, she could almost hear his soft breathing as he rocked back and forth in this chair. This is what he did when he was deep in thought. Then suddenly he would sit forward, perching his chin on his hand as his elbow found the desk. Very still he would sit until he had carefully considered what he would say. That was how Michaela remembered him sitting the day after David had proposed to her. His eyes were loving as he considered her form. "He makes you happy? That is all I care about Mike."

Michaela couldn't even remember what she had said to him. Certainly she had assured him that David made her very happy yet now sitting here thinking about that question, she wasn't as sure of the answer. The opening of the door startled her out of her reverie. She opened her eyes and looked up to see Elizabeth quietly closing the door behind her. Michaela sighed knowing that this was most likely not going to end well.

"I'm sorry," Michaela began knowing that an apology was what her mother was looking for.

"Why?" Michaela was taken aback by Elizabeth's answer and she opened her mouth but couldn't figure out what to say. "You don't owe anyone an apology. "

"But…" Still the words stuck in her throat.

"Michaela, I miss him too," she hesitated briefly before continuing, "and so do your sisters."

"Are you sure about that?" Michaela snapped and instantly regretted it. "Sorry," she whispered laying her head down on her arms folded on the desk. Elizabeth walked over to the desk and perched herself on the edge. From here she began to stroke Michaela's hair in a very uncharacteristic gesture.

"We all grieve in our own way Michaela. We can't be angry when some are ready to move on and we aren't."

Michaela looked up at her mother. "I guess that means you're selling the house."

"Ha! I'm not selling anything." A devious smile played around the corners of Elizabeth's mouth as she motioned towards the closed door. "I think they were hoping you would agree with them then it would be four against one. They forget that my vote is the only one that counts."

Michaela couldn't help but to look relieved. "But I do hope that you will take what you want of your Father's." Elizabeth stood and walked across the room to the window. "I have not done anything in here since your Father died and I have no plans to. You are welcome to anything you want though I recognize that you may have to wait until you're settled in a proper house."

A shudder went through Michaela at Elizabeth's words because she knew that soon someone was going to mention wedding planning and she wasn't sure she could even drum up any enthusiasm for it.

"Michaela?"

"Yes, it will have to wait for a proper house," she repeated quickly, hoping to dissuade her mother away from a conversation that might have anything to do with David. She was too late though.

"And when should we expect this proper house?"

Michaela had no idea how to respond to her mother. Part of her wanted to shout out all she was feeling about David but she wasn't sure that Elizabeth would sympathize with her. The last thing she needed was someone making the case as to why she should marry David. "I don't know." Michaela dropped her eyes to avoid her mother's gaze.

Elizabeth sat in the window seat and considered her daughter for a moment. "I am not bringing this up to start a fight, Michaela." Michaela looked up and met Elizabeth's eyes as her stomach tightened in anticipation of what would be said next. "I know that you think I am old fashioned but I don't see much incentive for David to marry you."

"Mother…."

Elizabeth quickly cut her off. "I am only saying that perhaps he needs a little push."

The color in Michaela's cheeks reddened and all the anger she directed towards her sisters a few minutes ago come flooding back. "And what am I supposed to do mother- accidentally turn up pregnant?"

"Like I would suggest something so vulgar!" Elizabeth's tone was as fiery as her daughters. Her eyes flashed brightly and Michaela recognized herself there. A tense moment settled between the two and Michaela knew her mother was waiting for an apology. She didn't feel like giving one though. After a bit Elizabeth spoke again. "I am simply suggesting that women can be quite convincing when they need to be. There are ways." The devious smile was back and though Michaela still felt irritated she was intrigued at what her mother was suggesting. "Do you know that this house didn't have central air conditioning when your father and I first moved in here?"

"I supposed most of the old homes in Beacon Hill didn't."

"We were here two weeks before central air was being installed. Do you know why?" Michaela shook her head. "We were married in June and it was a very hot summer for Boston that year. I was miserable and so I simply told your father there would be no marital relations until we had central air. Two weeks was his breaking point."

Michaela laughed and retched almost simultaneously. "I don't really need to know about that. And anyway, it's not David dragging his feet. It's me." She announced it as nonchalantly as she could trying to seem as if it was the most carefree decision she had ever made.

"Oh, Michaela, please tell me this isn't some protest about how you refuse to marry until homosexuals are given the same rights as heterosexuals."

"No, Mother, it's nothing like that." She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Things have been so confusing recently." She tried to explain but her words seemed to fail her.

"Michaela, the wedding is just what you need to take your mind off all this sadness."

"I'm just not sure that David is the one." The words hung in the air, neither of them speaking immediately. The look in Elizabeth's eyes was making Michaela want to take the words back in order to avoid the fight she could see coming. The words could not be erased now though and Michaela knew that even if she could erase them there was no longer any room in her head for them. Pieces began to click into place slowly and she soon realized that this would not be the biggest fight she would face this weekend.

"Michaela, are you certain?"

A weak smile appeared on her lips as she slowly nodded. "I think I am," she said.

"Just be certain Michaela. Love changes as relationships change. You can't always feel those warm tingles of new love. David is dependable and solid." She could see her words were having very little impact on her daughter. "Please be certain."

"I will."

"She is beautiful Sully. Simply beautiful. I can't believe how much she has grown since she was first born. We were so worried Sully."

"I know," he said quietly. He reached over and stroked Hannah's cheek with his finger. He had been surprised to find Hannah in the step down unit from NICU that morning – a sign that she was going to come home someday even if not immediately.

"I guess you have to start making plans for when she comes home."

"Yeah, I do." He shook his head as in disbelief. "The nursery still isn't done."

Hannah fussed a little and Snow Bird readjusted the baby in her arms. "That's a small matter," she said. "Cloud Dancing and I will help as I am sure Abby's parents will."

Sully shook his head. "Haven't had a chance to tell ya - Maude passed not long after Abby."

"Her heart?" Snow Bird asked and Sully nodded. "But Loren?"

"I don't know. He's only been to see Hannah a handful of times. Won't even talk to me."

Snow Bird sighed. "Well he is going to regret that. This little one is going to be a princess." Sully smiled at his friend's words. "And Cloud Dancing and I can help and maybe your friend… Michaela, right?"

Sully gave a little nod but then quickly cleared his throat. "I haven't asked after you told me his cancer was in remission. How is Cloud Dancing?"

"A walking miracle." She smiled broadly. "All of his doctors in Texas said so. You saw for yourself last night that he is back to his old self." Her face grew serious again. "He did not want to go back to treatment after the accident Sully. And I know you could have used him here but honestly they saved his life."

"I'm glad he went cause I'm gonna need him now. Both of you." Snow Bird smiled. "I actually want to ask you both to consider something."

"Okay."

"I'm asking you first because I want to know what you think. I don't want to put too much on either of you right now."

Snow Bird smiled. "Just ask Sully."

Sully's eyes met Snow Birds and she could see that this meant a lot to Sully. "I wanted to know if you would be willing to take Hannah if something happened to me. I know it's asking a lot but I know I can trust you to raise her how I'd want her to be raised."

"I think it is the most wonderful thing you have ever asked of us. And I want you to ask Cloud Dancing yourself. He's going to be thrilled Sully."

A rich deep voice spoke up from the nursery door. "What will I be thrilled about?"

Sully turned to see his best friend standing there and smiled. "Done with Will already?"

"I haven't even seen him. The holidays are always crazy in the Psych ward. I left him a message rescheduling for Monday. I haven't even had a chance to hold the baby yet." He walked over to where Snow Bird sat in the rocker and took the baby from her arms. "Hello, little one." Snow Bird stood and Cloud Dancing took her place. Hannah cooed quietly as she settled into Cloud Dancing's arms. "Now what am I going to be thrilled about?

Sully shuffled nervously as his eyes shifted from Snow Bird and back to Cloud Dancing. "I was wondering….Would you and Snow Bird be willing to take Hannah if something happened to me?"

Cloud Dancing's eyes lit up. "Godparents?"

Sully nodded and shrugged simultaneously. "If that's what ya call it."

"We would be honored."

"I told you he would be thrilled." Snow Bird leaned down and Sully had a glimpse of the three of them together and he knew that he'd made the right choice. They looked like a family. He wondered what it looked like when he held Hannah. Did they look like a family? Slowly a new picture formed in his mind. He was standing in Snow Bird's place, reaching out to touch his daughter's cheek. Michaela was holding Hannah against her chest. A family.

Sully cleared his throat and tried to erase the thought from his mind. He should be imagining Abby, missing Abby. And he did miss her but right now he was actually missing Michaela more. He suddenly didn't want to go home to his empty house. Snow Bird has already asked him to come back up to the center and he decided then to take her up on the offer.

Michaela sat on the edge of the bed with the phone in her hand, debating with herself. She hoped that David was right that Sully really was attracted to her. She didn't know where this was going really but it wasn't fair to David or herself to continue on like she had been.

Ten times she had brought up his name with her finger poised over the call button. Each time she had an excuse for why now wasn't a good time. What would she say? What would he say?

In her mind, she rehearsed the conversation. She would keep it light and casual, asking about Hannah and his holiday. Okay, she could do this.

She touched his name and the phone instantly began to dial. There was no turning back now as she held her breath waiting for him to answer.

"Hello, Sully's phone." The voice was a woman's, something Michaela was not prepared for.

"Um… yes this is Michaela… uh Dr. Quinn… I wanted to speak with Mr. Sully." She didn't know why she was being so formal but the woman answering had thrown her off.

"I'm sorry, Michaela, Sully's in the shower. But he'll be out soon. I can have him call you back or take a message."

She sounded so casual using Michaela and Sully's names so familiarly. "Umm… No message. Just tell him I called." She quickly hung up as her heart sank in her chest. Michaela knew that she shouldn't jump to any conclusions. This could be a sister or cousin or anybody really. It didn't change what she had already decided to do. Did it?

Meant to update sooner but the week has been crazy with VBS.