It was darkness. And there was pain.
I couldn't even move, but I think I growled. My throat felt so parched that I had a hard time making a sound. Every extremity of my body felt weak, useless. But I think someone heard me whimper from the pain.
"Hey! You're awake!"
I knew that voice. It was him. My boss.
My beloved.
I opened my eyes. It was dark, with only a little light by a door in the room. And he was leaning before me.
"How are you?" He seemed to whisper, "You were in a coma for a week, we were so worried. Your parents and sister were here watching over you, but I made them eat dinner first. They were really reluctant to leave you though, but I told them I can take care of you."
A week? In my dream, it seemed like it were years.
I tried to speak, but there was a tube stuck down my throat, and I grasped at his hand. I pointed at the contraption on my throat.
He smiled apologetically, "Sorry, but the doctors said it can't be removed yet, at least not until you've fully recovered."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance, and he laughed. I noticed that he had been doing some of his work while he was watching over me. I pointed at his pen and paper. He took it and laid it beside me. It was hard with the pain and the needle on my right hand, but I was able to scrawl out WORK?
"No, you're not fired yet." He said, "I felt positive you were going to wake up in weeks. The doctors thought it too. You were injured pretty badly, but they said that your brain went into some sort of shock or something, but you'll wake up eventually. I had one of the Librarians from a local school take over your position while you're recovering."
PARENTS? FAMILY? I scrawled out again.
"Don't worry, they're just eating, like I said. They'll be so happy you're awake. The Police were able to catch the guy who ran you over. He's awaiting trial now. Your father made sure it was quick…"
YOU? I scrawled again.
He seemed silent for a moment, "I'm fine. I was just worried about you, that's why I visited…"
My eyebrows furrowed. IS THAT ALL?
He looked at me, shaking his head a little. "What do you mean?"
It was now or never.
I LOVE YOU.
He looked down at my paper, and sighed. He let go of my hand and went to a corner and pulled a chair. He sat down beside me, holding my arm.
"I… Thank you." He started, "Thank you for loving me, and for telling me the truth. But I… I love someone else." He looked at me, as if waiting for me to cry, but I didn't. I merely waited, and soon he continued, "You are a great and wonderful woman. And I know that there is someone else out there who will love everything there is about you. But, it's not me. I hope you understand. I can love you as a friend, as a colleague, but… as a man, I can't…"
I nodded. Somehow, somewhere in the back of my head, this was going to happened. Perhaps, during my time in Dreaming, I realized this and accepted it. I wasn't afraid anymore, and I accepted it all.
I took the pen again and scrawled out, I UNDERSTAND.
He saw it and smiled, "Thank you." He took my hand, and kissed it. His lips were as warm and soft as it was in my dream, but the feeling was different. To me it was like a friend comforting me. "Someday, someone is going to love you so much. I know it."
I nodded, and closed my eyes, as if to sleep. In fact, I really was tired. I think he felt it. He kissed my forehead and whispered, "I can hear your parents outside now. I got to get back to the office to sort some things out. You rest up okay?"
I nodded a little again, and I pretended to sleep, and soon I could hear him walking out the door, and talking to my parents. He told them I woke, but I was tired again, and went back to sleep. I could hear my mother's gasp of surprise and happiness, and my sister and father's fervent thank-yous to God. But I just closed my eyes. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to dream.
I wanted to dream of him again, to dream of him beside me, and kissing me, and loving me.
Perhaps someday, someone might take me away from this dream. Perhaps he'll even give me a new dream. But until I do meet him, and until I start dreaming of him, my boss… my beloved will still be the one in my dreams who will take me to his arms and love me in a field of flowers.
And that was enough to make me happy.