The One with a Baby - Babies love crooks

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Pairing: Leonard Snart/Sara Lance (Captain Canary)

WHY THE HELL IS IT CRYING?

"Sh…sh, it's okay," Sara was bouncing the sobbing infant frantically on one knee. "God…to think I have one of these things named after me."

Kendra laughed. "Rip'll finish identifying it soon," She promised. "Ray's attempting to help, but…although he may be more skilled with the tech, Rip is considerably better with the century-old baby identification."

"Why the hell is it crying?" Snart's voice broke through the air as he entered the room. "Hate to be a downer, but if that thing carries on like that, I'm gonna have to ice it."

"Oh, stop it," Sara chided, wiping a glob of drool from the baby's chin with a disgusted look on her face. "I hate this just as much as you, but I'm not gonna kill an innocent child."

"Mm…says the assassin." Snart replied snidely.

"Former assassin, thanks to you." Sara corrected him. "Just go to your room, Leonard, you're not needed here." She switched the baby to her other knee, patting its back.

"Fine," He said. "But do me a favor, Lance, and pass that thing on to someone more qualified to care for it. Maybe the pyro kid? He's the closest in age, maybe he can relate."

"Hey, shut up." Jax complained, overhearing Leonard's words as he entered the room trailing Stein.

"'Someone more qualified'?" Sara repeated bitterly. "Oh, okay, Snart. I see how it is." She stood, approaching him. His expression turned guarded and Sara's smile became amused in a way that Leonard didn't like. "You asked for it. Hold out your arms."

"Hell no." Snart stepped back. "You keep that piece of vermin away from me."

"Hm…but I say we take turns. It's your shift." She could see the others in the room suppressing smirks in her peripheral vision. "Come on, Snart. Take one for the team." He was being pressured now, and he knew it.

"I'm going to murder you, Lance," He growled as she placed the infant into his stiff, reluctant arms.

"Just as soon as it falls asleep," Sara promised with a smirk. She stared at the baby, which was hanging pathetically off of him. "Leonard, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to support its head."

"Let it support its own head." He snapped.

"Shut up," Sara replied, resting the baby's head comfortably against Leonard's arm. "Hm…looks like you can murder me soon, crook. Think the baby likes you…aww." Her tone was taunting.

"Now I'm gonna murder you twice." Leonard threatened.

"Go ahead," Sara answered boldly. "It's been awhile since I died." Their words were menacing, but their tones were flirtatious. Only the rest of the team noticed, though.

Before Snart had a chance to reply, Rip entered the room with Ray trailing him. "We've identified the child," Rip announced. "Along with an address. Winston Purcell, his home is close from here. How he was separated from his parents, especially at such a young age…it's sad, really. Hopefully his mother and father are still with us."

The captain only just noticed the infant in Leonard Snart's arms. "Oh. I see the two of you have…acquainted." His voice was awkward. "Very well, then. You shall accompany Mr. Palmer to return the child."

"I'd rather not." Leonard responded.

Before anyone had a chance to deny his proclamation, he was shoving the kid into Rip's unprepared arms and exiting the room without a second glance back. There was a silence before Sara spoke, amused.

"And that's how Leonard Snart deals with a baby."