Walking through the door of that wooden structure was one of the few things Alan wanted to do badly, yet with every footstep closer he wanted to run and hide. He hoped that no one knew or had realised he had gone, at least then he could quietly slip in un-noticed get something to eat and disappear into his room for the rest of the remaining afternoon and night. Yet when his eyes adjusted to the light in the hallway he could feel that something wasn't right. The mood was solemn and tense if he was to judge by his father's stern expression, there was most definitely something wrong. Alan gulped as he tried to look as innocent as possible, however as Jeff took a step towards him Alan was sure he was in serious trouble.
"Dad, I know I shouldn't have been on the bridge, but..."
"You were on the bridge!" Jeff exclaimed. Alan was sure he heard surprise in his father's voice but he figured it was a good a time as any to get his point of view across.
"We're both alright, and I didn't think it would wash away, it just..."
Pure shock was the only thing Alan could see on Jeff's face; Jeff had planned on giving Alan a talking to about running off when they were told to stay inside, but like always rules and Alan just didn't go well together. Alan found it difficult to decipher his father's look, though Jeff being mad at him was enough to tell him he needed to keep quiet.
"Wash away?" The unanimous bellow of voices boomed.
Scott and John soon poked their heads around the corner and Gordon and Virgil appeared hanging over the banister at the top of the stairs. They all looked a little rattled, but Alan had a feeling if he had kept his mouth shut, no one would have been any the wiser to what had happened. He inwardly cursed himself as Bill trundled out from the kitchen. The man wore a face that appeared to have aged a good few years from that morning.
"You said we Alan, you and who else?" Bill growled as he hobbled his way towards Alan.
Bill wasn't stupid, he knew exactly who would have been there yet knowing it and hearing it were two different things. Bill didn't like to hear that Christina had been in danger, no matter how small though where she was involved, the incident was never small. He remembered times when he had considered wrapping the girl in bubble wrap just to make sure she would be safe, though now he wondered why he bothered worrying as the more he worried, the more danger she seemed to find.
"She's alright, she's putting the horse back" Alan said quickly as Bill shot him a fierce look.
"You shouldn't have been anywhere near that bridge" Bill yelled finding his temper difficult to control.
He knew better than to yell but when it came down to it, his temper flared and there was no stopping it. Bill didn't know how Jeff coped with Alan for one Bill knew Jeff wasn't exactly coping but in the end, the boy seemed to be determined to make the worst possible choices.
"You're damn right he shouldn't!" Jeff bellowed following on right behind Bill.
"But it's all under control now." Alan insisted, his head nodding furiously.
"Under control do you have any idea what could have happened?" Bill almost screamed. "You went out there without thought, you stupid child."
"You put everyone in danger Alan when you act selfishly." His father said. "You want to be part of the team, you play by the rules. Understand?"
"Do you?" Bill asked before Alan had time to say anything, only adding to his father's previous question.
"Yeah, I understand." Alan said tartly, "You don't want me to be part of the 'team'. You don't want me to do anything. You won't even listen to me! Bill there's something..."
"I've heard enough. You're grounded for the rest of vacation." Jeff grumbled.
"But Dad" He tried to plead looking towards his brothers disapproving faces.
"Bottom line Alan, you need to grow up." Jeff said sternly.
"Then let me." Alan said turning his back, "Please!"
Alan was about ready to walk out of the door when Christina opened the door, her weary face looking puzzled at the congregated bodies. Bill was first to move, roughly pushing Alan out of the way as he embraced her. Alan couldn't quite hear what he whispered to her but he saw the effect. One small glistening tear rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes, resting her head against his shoulder and neck. Bill rubbed a hand over her back before she pulled away using the back of her hand to wipe the tear from her face as she audibly cleared her throat.
"L.. let's get you dried off Alan" She said promptly not once looking back at any face but his, a small strained smile fighting the tears that welled in her eyes. "Well lets go, you're gonna catch your death if you stand in wet clothes all day."
Alan shrugged weakly as she led him by his cold hand past his father and brothers towards the bathroom. Alan could already hear the low mumbling of voices below as Gordon and Virgil moved from their vantage point at the top of the stairs to join the crowd below.
"Take as long as you want in there, towels are where they usually are, and take no notice Alan. In my book, you're a hero, whom I owe a lot to" She said as a small appreciative smile crept across her face.
John had broken from the family downstairs, he left Scott muttering to their father and Bill who he thought was about to follow upstairs stopped dead. John saw the man's momentary look as though debating heading up after them but after a moment's hesitance and a sideways tilt of his head, John took the hint and made the quick ascent of the stairs. The hallway for some reason appeared longer than normal, the carpet seemed to go on forever as he peeked into his brother's room. Alan sat on the edge of the single bed shivering while his hands clutched a fluffy cream towel to his chest.
"Alan." John gasped walking through the door.
Catching sight of John Alan made an attempt to move from the bed; nevertheless his legs hardly capable of supporting his weight anymore gave out from under him. With a thud Alan plummeted toward the wooden floor with a crash. John rushed over seeing Alan curl up into a ball. It wasn't anything new to see, John remembered many times Alan had curled up after nightmares but it never did get any easier to see. John pulled Alan into his side hearing the soft sobbing; he could feel his own clothes dampening where Alan was pulled close to him. The boy was plagued with shivers that caused goose bumps to rise over his skin.
"It's alright now Alan" John whispered softly.
"Dad's right" He snivelled, "I'm never going to be part of your team"
John wasn't sure what word hurt most, though he was pretty sure it was somewhere around 'your team' that had his insides churning like bag of snakes. There was no team, no side to be on, it was just family, their family the whole idea of family was the Thunderbirds or at least that was what he always believed, but now what was a family appeared to be slowly falling apart because they didn't want to put their baby brother anywhere near harm.
"Family Alan, it's not a team, just family, and from where I see it, you're as much family as the rest of us." He said seriously. "Even if Gordon still believes Aliens beamed you down from space"
He heard the small choking laugh that made him smile as he felt his brothers arms tighten around his waist.
"Family is supposed to listen, but you never listen" Alan said with a little more fury.
"Maybe you should be telling dad this?" John said hoping that Alan could at least speak with him; John knew it wasn't easy for either of them.
John saw the resemblance of his mother in Alan, he often wondered if that was his father's reason for keeping Alan away from harm. He was in a way saving Lucille though he hadn't even spoke his idea outside his own head, he knew it was a subject better avoided. Alan and Jeff were a lot alike in so many ways, hard headed, opinionated and of course strong willed.
"Dad won't listen to me he never does, unless it's about school or grades." Alan mumbled, "John please... you should listen if you care."
John felt a little anger toward what Alan had said, 'if he cared' since when did he stop caring. The moment he thought about it he felt like shouting at Alan, telling him just how much he cared though it wasn't in his nature.
"I'm listening Alan, I always do"
Alan looked up at his brother quickly wiping his eyes free of the tears.
"I didn't know it was going to wash away, I swear I didn't. I got so scared that I couldn't move and then she... she watched."
John didn't know what to say as his arm tightened around his brother who now felt cold to the touch.
"She waited, looked scared; even then she didn't do much."
"Who is she Alan?" John asked getting confused.
"Christina!" Alan always shrieked, "I tried to tell dad but he wouldn't listen, and I didn't know what to say to Bill because if I tell she might be mad, and if I don't it could be important."
John was lost as he rubbed his forehead, trying to understand what Alan was talking about. If he could have changed one thing about Alan, it would have been that he actually made sense for once. Then again it was the challenge that he enjoyed although now didn't appear to have to keep asking what he was talking about.
"Just calm down, you're alright now, both of you are" John said calmly, though he did have to wonder what had Alan in knots.
"No it's not alright, she was nearly washed away and then she was crying... she tried to hide it but I could see she was as scared as me and then..."
John raised his hand to quite Alan for a moment letting the boy catch his breath before his mouth ran away with him again.
"It was a scary thing, I'm sure it is a normal feeling to be scared."
"No you got to let me finish, she was ill John, just like you were after Thunderbird five was hit."
Alan stopped there watching the colour drain from his brother's face, the mere thought of what had happened on the space station all that time ago still gave him nightmares. Alan had heard him call out in the middle of the night, every night after the event they had put up with John pacing around the house twice over to make sure that everything was as it should be, everyone was safe and asleep. He had the time to think of it in the silence, he should have seen it before but it didn't make sense to him. John had been injured, the family had nearly died, but being that afraid of water despite the bridge it just didn't make sense.
"I'm sure it was just the exertion of stress, adrenalin can do that sometimes." John stated.
"I knew you wouldn't listen" Alan bellowed, "No one does."
Looking a little alarmed John stood up as Alan pulled away from him. It was a valid assumption he thought to himself, though obviously Alan hadn't thought it was.
"I am listening to you Alan; I just don't see what you're trying to say"
Alan had tried to put is as simply as he could, he really had but it just never came out right. Well this time he would have to put it as plain as ever, he told himself taking a breath to calm him, knowing that John always listened to him no matter what. Harebrained schemes and idea's that sometimes weren't worth the paper they were written on, it didn't matter John always listened to him.
"Something happened to her either with a bridge or water or both." He stated raising his brow as if willing John to understand. "Just like you and the space station, something happened."
John understood there and then, there were several reasons that people were ill, most of which didn't apply to an FBI agent though some could, just like the one that Alan had so blatantly pointed out for him. It made sense given her reaction the previous night to the storm. Nothing short of mind boggling to begin with but then with today's events added, it made a little more sense than it had.
"You might be right Alan, but I would keep that to yourself, if she wanted anyone to know she would have told us already" He said smiling, "Now get yourself warm and dry kiddo. I'll wait here for you"
Alan had turned toward the door when he heard John speak.
"I'm glad you're alright Alan."
Alan nodded feeling drained as he wondered off toward the bathroom, the now damp fluffy towel shoved roughly under his arm, followed by a set of dry clothes.
Below Jeff was stunned by what he had heard, Alan had struck again. He really shouldn't have been so surprised but putting someone else in danger, that was not what the family stood for, nor was his behaviour. Scott placed a comforting hand on his father's shoulder as Bill angrily dropped down on a nearby chair.
"I don't know what's gotten into him" Jeff said in dismay walking into the living room as he sank back onto the sofa.
"It's just teenagers" Bill grumbled.
Jeff saw the man's tearful eyes glance towards the door way. It was clear to Jeff what kind of bond existed between him and Christina; Jeff could see it was much the same as the bond he felt with his boys. Family was everything and when it was put in danger, there was no telling the lengths that either man would go to, to fix what had gone wrong.
"Dad you've done a great job raising us since mom died." Scott chirped, "We've all been there. Alan, he's just going through a phase"
Virgil and Gordon nodded agreeing with their eldest brother; Scott was exactly like their father in so many ways. The oldest of the group and yet the one who acted like a brother to them most of the time, it was funny to see the two men side by side as to an onlooker it might seem as if the two men were both competing for the medal of fatherhood, but none of them minded it. Scott was the brother that no matter what had always looked after them when Jeff had to go away on business, he had watched over them all those nights when Jeff had to leave for work, and they couldn't remember a day when Scott hadn't stepped into his father's shoes whenever it was needed.
"Thanks son, but he put someone's life in danger today."
Jeff had hardly finished speaking before Bill interrupted.
"No one was hurt, remember that!" He grumbled, "He didn't endanger her life, she did that all by herself, and until I hear the story in its entirety, I suggest we don't play the blame game."
"You don't know Alan like we do" Scott replied looking more than a little rattled at the man's interruption.
"No I don't know Alan, but I know Christina."
Virgil was the one to rest a warning hand on Scott's shoulder this time, there was no use in arguing and they knew it. He had an idea Alan was the cause but just like Bill told them, it was better to wait for the story than assign blame, he found that true working on Thunderbird two, it was better to hear the story first hand, than listen to an account from two opposing sides that twisted the events to suit themselves.
"I just don't get it, why is he being like this?" Gordon muttered glancing at the faces that held no answers.
Upstairs Christina had done what she had to washing off the rain water and mud from her cold body. She shivered under the hot spray of water, the force making her skin go red and shrivel as she made no move to exit the shower. She could feel the wooden beams still gripping her foot as she stood there, the weight dragging her back down the banking. The water cold and icy as she struggled to get to the surface to breathe, the feeling was too familiar to her she thought diving from the underneath the shower head that rained those tiny jets down on her. Wrapping towel around her she pulled on a robe before wrapping her hair in yet another smaller towel.
She paced in her room, sitting here and there for only a few seconds before she became restless. Her mind flitted from one thing to another; her eyes looked for any distraction as they set their gaze upon the dressing cabinet. She pulled open a draw retrieving the brown FBI file that was buried beneath several pairs of jeans; her eyes flitted over the papers. She had already looked it over and sent her findings to the office but even as she peered at the page of writing the words all appeared to blend together. She tossed the file back into the draw pulling out a pair of faded jeans before using the other pairs to cover the file.
Her fingers danced over several over sized jumpers before she laid eyes on a grey one about three sizes too big for her. She slipped in on pulling the towel from her head before casually throwing it into a small clothes hamper. She could still smell the fragrance of the coconut shampoo she had used on her hair as she ran a brush through brown tangled mess, tugging at several knots as she made a half hearted attempt at putting it in a bun. Sitting down at a small dressing table she stared at the pale face that peered back at her. She almost didn't recognise herself running a finger over the dark bags that lay under her eyes. She knew herself that she was tired, she had been for days, weeks even if she was honest about it. Christina wasn't usually tired but with the amount of new cases that crossed the team desk, she was surprised that the late hours and early starts hadn't caught up with her sooner.
Her eyes ran over the tired looking face once more before she strode from her room. It wasn't often that she admitted to herself she needed a break but this time there was no hiding the obvious. Between work, the ranch and trying to keep every piece of information in her head straight, she knew she'd run herself into the ground sometime though it had happened sooner than she thought. A few days of well deserved rest she thought as she caught site of Alan. He certainly looked dryer than he had done when she had last seen him, she smiled as he stopped. His eyes fell to the floor as he stood in the doorway of his room.
"You feel any better?" She asked.
"A little I guess."
Christina smiled again wearily; she hadn't felt this tired in months. Then again she hadn't really had time to feel anything between work, sleep and the ranch. Everything happened at once and now she couldn't keep the same pace, floating between work mentality and the easier going ways of the ranch. She knew that after a few good nights' sleep she would be back to normal or half way there, it always worked that way with her. She could go on for months before crashing for a few days to a week and then she would back up and running as if nothing had happened.
"It wasn't your fault Alan" She said quietly. "I need you to know it wasn't your fault."
Alan nodded seeing her eyes tear up. She owed Alan a lot, despite his stupidity for being in the wrong place, it didn't change the fact that without his help, she wouldn't have been standing there let alone talking.
"It was." He replied, "You wouldn't have been there if I hadn't have been."
Christina openly winced, it wasn't everyday that she was so open with her emotions let alone showed she wasn't as tough as she wanted people to think. Few people saw her like that, she had even managed to pull the wool over Bill's eyes a few times but Alan had seen what he shouldn't have, yet she couldn't let him believe he was to blame. Walking up to him she gripped his shoulders firmly, her brown eyes caught his blue ones as she shook her head.
"It wasn't you're fault because there is no fault Alan" She said as calmly as she could, "Don't worry that little head of yours on the could have or might have been, it never does anyone any good."
Alan couldn't see it, he had already nearly been washed away, nearly got someone else into as much danger and now he was being told not to worry about it. He found that not worrying was too difficult as he stared blankly at her. He was about to speak when he felt her finger press against his lips hushing any words that he would have spoken.
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows kid. It's over with, you can't change the past, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise and what I said about apologies, they are always appropriate." Christina regretted what she had said earlier although she might have meant every word, it wasn't something Alan needed to understand or do. "Wow I'm sounding more like my mother every day."
She saw Alan glance into his room chuckling before she peeked around the wooden door frame. She glanced at John her smile a little brighter than before, Alan couldn't help but notice the two which made him regret what he had already done a few days ago. He knew it wouldn't be long before what was done in anger and spite came back to bite him, but he was happy for now that he was alive and maybe his phone message wouldn't be received, at least that was one hope he had.
"Perhaps I shall see you downstairs Alan"
Christina said nodding toward John while her feet travelled heavily down the wooden staircase. Looking for the people who had congested the hallway about an hour ago, Christina saw them sitting in the living room, solemn faces that appeared to need a break as much as she did.
"This isn't working" She announced.
Christina watched a few heads turn her way as she plopped down next to Bill's feet, resting her head against his leg. She felt the man run his fingers through her hair, something he had done ever since she was a child and it always gave her a warm feeling. She smiled giving a half hearted attempt at swatting his hand away.
"I know," Jeff Tracy sucked in a much needed breath before shaking his head. "We should have left before, but tomorrow we will head home."
Jeff cast his gaze from Christina. He waited to hear the crashing torrent of insults and truths about what Alan was, what he had done and how much of a misery he had made their holiday. The silence was as crushing as words to him and Jeff couldn't help but wonder where he had gone wrong.
"That's not what I would like Mr Tracy, nor is it what I meant for you to do"
Jeff was surprised by the reply. Her smile seemed genuine as he watched her cast her gaze around his sons, her eyes lingering only a moment longer on John than the others.
"I meant the working holiday isn't ... working out how it was supposed to." She said letting a small laugh escape her lips. "Speaking purely for myself here, I need a break, some sleep and judging by today tranquilisers wouldn't be too bad either. Trying to help educate you guys in the workings of this place... isn't really as relaxing as I thought."
Christina paused for a moment sighing as she picked a small thread from the cuff of her jumper hearing a few chortles of laughter.
"So instead of working holiday how about a holiday, starting tomorrow you can do what you like, I'm going to go into town for a while and get some things if anyone cares to come along. However I only have one thing to ask that you all do as a family."
Gordon and Virgil seemed to be on the edge of their seats, their faces eager to know more and the impish grins they both wore expelled a certain exuberance that it appeared the room needed.
"What do we have to do?" Both Gordon and Virgil asked in unison.
Christina merely smiled mischievously before wagging a finger towards the boys. "A surprise for later but first I believe your father need's an explanation."
Virgil muttered under his breath as Scott shot a glare his way, quickly silencing the mutter. Gordon watched Christina's face fall, the smile that he was sure held a little sparkle had gone as fast as it had appeared.
"I'm sure it can wait for another time, you don't ha..."
Gordon hushed himself as Christina looked towards him, he didn't know why he stopped but something in her eyes had him fighting to make the words come out. After a moment's pause he balanced himself on the arm of the chair wondering what she was going to explain, let alone say.
"Mr Tracy you have five wonderful sons, and yet one I don't know why, but I believe he feels isolated." She said in a matter of fact tone, before looking up at Bill. "I know what you think about me using work tactics but I was curious and hell I think that after today I could ask for a little leeway."
None of them knew what she was talking about, though Bill wore a harsh expression one that most definitely could cause harm if it was ever put into action. The only movement he made was a hand lightly squeezing her shoulder, they watched with bemused stares as her hand covered his before she continued.
"If it wasn't for Alan pulling me up the banking, I wouldn't... its simple really; I owe Alan for what he did."
"He put you in danger, if he wasn't there." Jeff grumbled nearly as well as Bill did.
"Mr Tracy, with all due respect, if Alan wasn't there I would probably be dead right now." Her tone was harsher more forceful as she spoke. "As shameful as it is to admit that I needed the help, your son didn't have to do anything, yet he grabbed my arm."
With that Christina pulled up her sleeve revealing the red nail marks that were still as plain as day on her arm. Some had broken the skin as the small specks of now dried blood looked painful as she covered her arm back up. The unwanted reminder of the even still visible to her eyes.
"Perhaps it would be wise if you spoke with him, as I believe Alan is nothing short of my hero. Despite what he might have been doing on that bridge, how he got there or lord knows why, I'm grateful that your son was there. There isn't anyone who I would have rather had there in that moment... apart from Tom Cruise"
Virgil saw her deadly serious expression mellow as her eyes locked with Jeff's in a stare that Gordon couldn't quite understand. What felt like a few minutes passed in silence as her words of Alan being a hero sank into their heads. It was a difficult concept when they had all tried to keep Alan out of harm's way with the Thunderbirds, well that of course was until the Hood made it impossible for that to happen anymore but somehow Jeff had managed to get the routine back. Alan went to school, studied, slept and ate; he didn't set foot near a Thunderbird or a mission unless it was safe and designated fool proof.
"But back to a happier topic, this weekend it's the Tennessee state fair. I'd really like it if you all could go."
Scott had only ever seen his brothers faces light up as quick, at Christmas. Two beaming smiles shone from Gordon and Virgil, a quick look at Jeff and even Scott knew he was pleased with the idea, although he was doing his level best not to act like the kid who just got the BMX bike for a present. Even Bill himself was happy about it, but a sideways glance in their father's direction revealed a stone like face. One that didn't even appear to have been listening to what had been asked Scott nudged his father roughly seeing a nod and a mumbled few words of agreement.
"Maybe we should move this to a more appropriate setting, show a few photos of what's to look forward to on the laptop?"
Bill suggested watching as Gordon and Virgil flew from their seats, Scott moved cautiously after them leaving Christina, Jeff and Bill who was in the process of hauling himself up. Christina motioned for Bill to follow the brothers and with a bit of not so gentle persuasion left Jeff and Christina sitting in silence. She moved slowly towards Jeff, taking his hand in hers for a moment.
"He's a good kid, just a little misguided, strong willed, and a complete pain in the a..."
"Buttocks" Bill hollered from the kitchen. "Watch your language Missy. We have company here."
Jeff smiled seeing Christina roll her eyes the faint scolding from Bill. She knew she wasn't allowed to speak as she normally would around the FBI, although it was a close run for who used the worst language, the team when things went sour, or those who worked on the Ranch. Still Bill insisted on never hearing her say a curse word, so for the most part she tried to abide by the flimsy rule knowing how much it irked the man when she forgot.
"I think he just wants someone to listen to him Mr Tracy. A father and not a disciplinarian." She said, "I know life can easily get in the way of family but tonight more than anything, I think he'll need his father."
Jeff nodded as the silence crept back, he didn't quite know what to say. Work was always a priority and now as he had thought most of the day he could see that he had pushed Alan away from the rest in false hope that he wouldn't want to be like his brothers. All Jeff wanted was for the family to be happy, for them to be safe and although four of the five had jobs with the thunderbirds, Jeff had a small ounce of hope that he could steer Alan away from it all.
"I'm speaking from some experience when I say that tonight, might be difficult for him. Though as the saying goes 'only time will tell'."
Christina left Jeff sitting there. Her feet padding softly on the floor into the kitchen, she saw the faces huddled around a small laptop that Bill was struggling to operate, though with careful prodding from Gordon he appeared to master what he had always called 'the impossible'. She leaned against the door content to watch the animated faces peering at the screen when she heard another set of feet walk themselves up the stairs. She found it hard not to smile sharing a quick appreciative glance with Bill before joining the rabble of voices that had too many words to say in so little time.