Thanks for all the reviews, I'm really sorry it takes me so long to update. But I have no idea where this story will lead. I have an idea that they will eventually end up together, but that needs to also go hand in hand with Harry's recovery. :)
"Stop!" Tonks's voice rang out, louder than usual in the still bedroom. She gently pushed him back, as he lent back in to carry on, "don't Harry."
He pulled back, and studied her, she had gone eerily pale and her hair had darkened to almost black. "Are you... Ok?" He asked slowly watching as she turned to face him, and drew her knees up to her chest, as though to create a barrier between them. That was a really stupid question he thought as she looked away again...
She looked up and met his eyes, she seemed to be searching for something. Whatever she was looking for, she seemed to find as she flinched before glancing down.
"That should not have happened." Her voice was quiet.
"A lot of things should never happen Tonks, that doesn't mean it's wrong."
"But it is wrong Harry, don't you understand? Your just a boy."
He glared at her, "Don't act like I did something completely awful. You kissed me back remember?"
"That was wrong of me..."
"So basically your saying you made a mistake?" He was hurt, however his voice was flat and cold.
"Yes! -No, your... Harry please!"
"You don't like me." He stated quietly, it was an obvious fact, cold and hard.
"Of course I do," she replied. "But, I should never have kissed you..." Her voice tailed off.
He had to try, "but I wanted you to and I don't regret what happened, I... I think i love y-"
"Don't!" Her voice cut across his, "it's just a crush Harry, you have a crush. And after everything you've been through, It's only natural for you to form strong bonds to people that have cared for you, what's just happened was no one's fault. The situation is delicate." She was rambling, and Harry wondered who she was trying to convince. He chose not to reply, he wouldn't say the correct thing, so instead he chose to observe her. She was fiddling with the sleeves of her jumper, and appeared flustered. He couldn't remember a time when she wasn't completely in control, and it scared him slightly.
"Harry?"
She was looking at him again, and he still didn't answer, he felt slightly dazed. Everything was unravelling and he didn't think it was within his power to fix. And he felt hurt, she had pushed him away, he wasn't good enough.
"Please, just talk to me," her voice was high, and it broke off at the end of her sentence, "I'm really sorry." Why was she apologising?
"Don't be sorry Tonks," he said softly.
"I took advantage of you Harry, your just a boy, your so young!" Her voice was growing louder and more and more horrified, this only confirmed Harry's fears.
She found him repulsive. She regretted kissing him, and it hurt like hell.
"Have you ever had someone tell you your to young, or that their to old for you? I don't care about that, I am not just a boy and you know it. I'm old enough to know how i feel!" He said angrily, whilst Tonks flinched at Harry's words.
"They could have my wand for this, your... Your Harry Potter for gods sake! When Molly finds ou- Remus! What's Remus going to think of me?" She started crying then, and Harry watched her distantly, he wanted to move to comfort her, but something inside him was breaking. And he couldn't move in fear of falling apart.
"Can you forgive me? I'm so so sorry Harry," she gulped through her tears.
"There is nothing to forgive, you didn't harm me," his voice was wooden, -lifeless. "I won't tell anyone."
She looked up at him, tears still running down her face, "you should Harry."
"I'm not, it's nothing to do with anybody else."
"I promise you, it won't happen again," her voice was pleading, wanting something from him. He turned away as she got up to leave, "Harry, will you promise me something?"
He shrugged, he was full of promises.
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself Harry, please?" Her voice was quiet, and Harry gave another shrug. Some promises are made to be broken.
"I'm sorry Harry," she whispered before leaving, he sat on the bed not moving staring at the blank wall.
The long gash in his leg would not stop bleeding, the crimson blood was streaming steadily down his leg, and onto the tiled bathroom floor. His pyjama bottoms were now stained bright red, but he could not bring himself to care. He didn't feel any pain, he was completely numb and he had cut deeper in an attempt to feel something. He placed his hand over the wound trying half heartedly to stop the blood flow, his body felt heavier than usual -like everything cost him more effort and the blood was still seeping through his fingers. And everything was going blurry around the edges, and his vision was fading...